Young Writers Society

I just kinda started doodling on printer paper and this is what happened. The tall chick is chained up and a little emaciated, while the one on the floor is dead. *nods* yep

Oh yeah, and they are kinda on a ledge, but it doesn't really look like it, but they are



--meow

Interesting. The dead chick is well drawn...and I like the one chained to the wall. Something is cool about this. Good job!

-Medusa.

Uh...

*blinkblinkblink*

I see dead people... Well, one dead person. She doesn't look desperately deceased, though. As she - the dead bird - is hanging off the ledge (I can see it's a ledge, btw) her leg should be dangling more than it is.

The emaciated chick looks very tragic.

You said make you cry, so I'm not gonna bother with too much politeness. I'm too tired and you know i love you anyways. ^_^ Moving on.

1 - What kind of a background is that? I mean, c'mon, lines? YOu could at least make the blocks interesting. Maybe it's stone. Maybe there's grout. Some dripping water, some shading... I dunno, IS there lighting in there?

2 - Your shading underneath the... erm, floating bench thing could be executed a little more carefully.

3 - Your anatomy is... okay. I've seen worse. The length you have on limbs and such though is good, but they are overly skinny. Now, in this scene, they may be starved and such, but really, who is that tall and has a rib cage that teeny? Unless you're going for Disney princess style here, in which, make their boobs and hips bigger, and waists even smaller. If not, then, just make the torsos wider in general, especially the rib cage area.

4 - Cheating-blob-mitten-hands!!! No cheating on hands! That's just... cheating. Draw ALL the fingers. Practice different hands from photos or something. Don't be afraid of the challenge. Your drawings will only be that much more realistic in the end.

5 - Same as #4 just with feet.

6 - I have to say I like the hip to shoulder area on the dead girl. Looks like you worked on that a bit more. But to be more realistic, you actually need to make her rear larger.

7 - I can't complain too much about the fabric of the hanging girl's dress, other than it needs to fall more naturally. Right now it looks like a reverse hoop-skirt the way it's sticking out. But the shading is decent, and you can tell there are legs underneath it, down to the knees at least. But then I notice a little anatomical glitch... her knees are placed fine and they're down far enough, but if that's where her knees are, then her toes should be peeking out of the dress a bit.

8 - Faces. Um, there aren't any really... it looks like you avoided them again because they're hard like hands. Again, just practice and study other ones.


Overall, not bad. Really. A good concept and quite well executed. You really only need technical help. i.e. pencil technique and proportions. And it's really only up to you in how exact you want to be.

Well, that's all for now I suppose. Let me rip some more apart!! Please?? That was fun! Heh... ^^;

Or if anyone else can handle a harsh art crit, just let me know in my Will Crit for Food thread. Link in my signature below. vvv

~Yoyo

Um...

TL G-Wooster wrote:Uh...

*blinkblinkblink*

Exactly what I was thinking. I think the dead one seems a bit better drawn than the live one. Maybe change the lives one's arms..they just look odd..

I don't really know how to help improve this one much, sorry!

Best of luck!