***So I was thinking about Harry Potter one day, and this is what came of it! The rating is due to the reference of Ron's rat sleeping in his bed from time to time. The background story goes like this: It is set in Heaven, after everyone died. Voldemort is desperately trying to beat Harry at something, so he challenged him to a rap off. It is Harry and Ron against Voldemort and Wormtail.***
Voldemort and Wormtail on left side of stage. Harry and Ron on right side. Ron is holding a microphone, facing off against Wormtail. There is a large crowd watching.
Ron: You were once my rat, but then I was betrayed,
It took me three whole years to find that I had been played,
So please don't mind if I laugh and stare,
For I found it quite hilarious when you choked down there!
Wormtail whimpers and begs Voldemort for help. Voldemort snatches the microphone away from Wormtail.
Voldemort: Yeah, Ron Weasley, he's pretty shrewd,
It took him three whole years to find he slept with a dude,
Though I admit, he did look pretty phat,
In the sixth book, when he wore bling and all o'dat!
Ron: There's my man Voldey, he's pretty tight,
His horcruxes become handy in a large, prolonged fight,
Though come on, let's all be blunt and frank,
The truth is that Voldemort's... stench is rank?
Ron bows his head in shame and Harry steps up.
Voldemort: So the Weasel King has lost with his smelly rhymes,
Do you want me to give you taxi fare with nickels and dimes?
If not then come on, take a try if you can,
Be careful though Harry, because I'm superhu-man!
Voldemort does strong man poses. Harry stands, thinking for a moment.
Harry: You had a violent life, so you turned to rap. Everyone knows that rap is evil and is exclusively about violence and immorality...
Voldemort: Oh, come on! Seriously? We are trying to enjoy ourselves and you have to start monologuing?! Typical! You did it in life and now you just HAVE to do it in death!
As Harry continues his talking, the crowd and team Voldemort slowly leave. Finally, it's just Ron and Harry.
Harry: ... and that is my conclusion on why you are evil and I am mistreated.
Suddenly realizing they are alone, Harry turns to Ron.
Harry: Well Ron, let us be off! No need to keep the therapist waiting. I think that I made some breakthroughs today.
The two walk off stage left, Ron nodding and agreeing with everything Harry says.
Once again, Voldemort has been defeated by strategic placement of a deadly monologue.
**Edit: I have no idea why it double spaced everything.**
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