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The "I wrote a poem, but don't need reviews" thread

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111 Reviews



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Tue Mar 08, 2011 11:19 pm
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Kiwisatsuma says...



I wrote this a while back in English class, when we had to write a sonnet including three lines from poems by other writers. I don't want to post it in the main forums seeing as I didn't write bits of it, but still, I'm proud of it because I managed to keep to the the rhyme scheme and meter and stuff.

At first, I stood there spellbound by your eyes
And thought at last the sun had broken through
I did not listen to the heart's mute cries
The little deaths that slowly formed those new
Made clouds that hover broodingly above
We smile, our upturned lips a mask to hide
The cracks that softly weave throughout this love
For neither can submit and bury pride
And in the silence round which cyclones rage
Companionship provides a sluggish peace
My darling, I would choose a gilded cage
Be safe from loneliness, though feelings cease
And so, I kiss the wrinkle from your brow
Those eyes whose spell still holds me captive now




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6 Reviews



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Fri Jul 15, 2011 7:06 pm
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Tomboy044 says...



(This got put on a website called 'Spinebreakers' (Woop woop!)

A Poem Of Life
Twisted hearts and sickened minds,
Corrupt the world and make it blind.
Fear and anger rage in the night,
Lighting up the world so bright.
We march in the streets to fight the crimes,
And express ourselves in words and rhymes,
To bring justice to our selves,
And to be free from our mental cells.
This is a poem of life,
Full of pain and bitter strife.

Happy Writing! x
Never give up on your dreams. Dreams make us passionate and life without passion is pointless. x




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18 Reviews



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Wed Jul 27, 2011 1:07 pm
n1o2u3r4 says...



You went back home
All I can do is roam
while writing the poem
ooooommmmmmmm

Uttering a buddhist chant
Meditating by a dying plant
Inside an abandoned Tent
oooooooommmmmmmm

"Grande Amore" never ends
Cause' it's more than being friends
It's the love between I and Her
like a bird wrapped inside a fur
ooooooommmmmmmmmmm

Feeling the warmth of Trust
sending away all the lust
true love is all just
Believing in it is a "MUST"
Noureddine <H.>




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114 Reviews



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Mon Aug 15, 2011 10:02 pm
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Priceless says...



Weak


They say what doesn’t kill makes you stronger,
I’ve never found that to be true.
Cause all I’ve done is fall apart,
Since the day I lost you.
Time did not heal anything,
It’s been four years.
No songs, no books, no one
Could ever dry these tears.
You never get over it some people say,
You just learn to live with it.
Tuck it deep inside your heart,
And pretend it’s not there.
We're all a little weird. And life's a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.




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Mon Sep 26, 2011 2:23 pm
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Charlie II says...



Regarding cows

Of all the bovine treats you see,
Milk seems the strangest one to me.
A white emulsion -- packed with fat! --
What sort of person looks at that
And says, "Aha, a tasty treat!
By pulling here upon this teat,
I'll drain this cow of stuff to eat!" ?!
I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
-- Woody Allen




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403 Reviews



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Sat Dec 10, 2011 3:14 am
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SmylinG says...



Untitled

There’s something romantic about
chasing a breeze. Being naive
I fancied a wander
into the yellow forest of fickle birch wood trees.
Until the wind broke violently across
the calm blue waters
of a more peaceful scene,
I didn’t quite believe tragedy
to be held to captivity.
Paul is my little, evil, yellow bundle of joy.




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544 Reviews

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Tue Jan 24, 2012 9:30 am
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Audy says...



A thousand clocks cluttered on wall-space
like the trillion stars splattered in real space.

Spoiler! :
Image
Such a man exists.




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Wed Feb 08, 2012 2:22 pm
Isabel1206 says...



I scream, I yell, I laugh, I cry
I grab my sides as ghosts fly by
Fly by my own tormened heart
My hidden pain, my horcrux part
I weep for joy, my wails they ring
Just a decoy, while dead within
But in the darkest of the night,
I sit up straight, turn on the light
A voice so pure, calls out and sings
My name – within a hope begins
A song within my soul it sounds
A force that breaks and shakes the grounds
Is now within, I've seen the light
I know my troubles, made my plight
Just some more time, I will be strong
Within my heart, this fleeting song
Will guide me trough, show me my way
Until I howl, fall down and pray


Harry Potter reference ftw :mrgreen:
“ By means of inking symbols onto a page, she was able to send thoughts and feelings from her mind to her reader's. It was a magical process, so commonplace that no one stopped to wonder at it. ”




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Sun Mar 18, 2012 9:48 am
ping2richard says...



322sivart wrote:This definately isn't bad, but certainly not worth 100 points.

Tell me, who's the one you love?
Tell me now before I go to war
Just let me know for sure
Just tell me

Is my love enough?
Is my love enough for you
Or will you pick and choose?
Tell me

We only have so long before the time will come
So you just kiss me now and forget about what we'll become

Tell me, what you want me to do
Do you want me to go right now
And leave you here to drown?
Tell me

We are two in a few
Give me a quick kiss goodbye
And then I'll go and die
Tell me



Wow super post. I like your poem. Specially the lines "Is my love enough....".
It shows a passion behind the love. Really your poem shows the love of the person.




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Fri Jun 01, 2012 12:24 am
tartuffe says...



Dear creature, my precious rat,
your mangy fur, your yellow, biting teeth,
what hidden mysteries and beauty lies beneath?
No mortal, no pretender knows of that.




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103 Reviews



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Mon Jan 20, 2014 9:10 pm
wordsandwishes says...



It is dark

like the vacant recesses between

my head and my toes, where you

ought not to see my bones.

Loud like the roar of the beasts in my head

I can tell

they want to eat me alive,

and someday they will.

And that would be fine.

Even now they claw at the rope

but there's one thing I've learned in this lonely place

that you are not alone.

And when the broken ones you love are holding onto you

you don't let go,

you just don't.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.




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Sat Feb 15, 2014 11:19 am
Storybraniac says...



It takes 200 points to post a poem.
Gosh! I'm in love with young writers society!

"Me lose brain? Uh, oh! Ha ha ha! Why I laugh?" -- Homer Simpson

Instead of counting dollars
We'll be countin stars.




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Mon Feb 17, 2014 8:07 pm
niteowl says...



@Storybraniac point counts have changed a lot over the years. It has cost anything from 0 to 500 points to post a work. The max earned by reviews used to be 50 points, so you'd still have to post 2 long reviews to post a work. And it didn't matter how many reviews it had.

Personally, I like the current system because you can get more points for reviewing older and unreviewed works. :)
"You do ill if you praise, but worse if you censure, what you do not understand." Leonardo Da Vinci
"You need a reason to be sad. You don't need a reason to be happy." DJ, "Sideways Stories from Wayside School"
<YWS><R1>




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103 Reviews



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Sun May 25, 2014 8:43 pm
wordsandwishes says...



clasped thoughts like hands

killing me so silently you

won't hear me die

and I will not care.

I have danced the steps so long

there are holes in the bottom of my feet

where my heart is not because it isn't anywhere.

dust cascading in sheets it falls on my

palms.

clasped hands like thoughts

watching aloud but you

will never see what I see in those

semi-rhythmic heartbeats. Down

beneath the skin so

so very alive.

Stop.

And gone again their dust

fading in the wind.

Now.

Clasped hearts like mine,

beating themselves to death but there

are no holes in the bottoms of their feet

or stone in their eyes and

that is beautiful.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.