It would be my microphone, and I would be the greatest singer ever. It would also be my guitar and a single drumstick, because having two is overrated.
Alcohol, Tobacco, & Firearms should be a convenience store, not a government agency.
I would definitely have used it as a sword and pretend I'm in this other world fighting creatures to rescue someone like a prince. Or I'd pretend I'm transported somewhere using our fort like in the Magic Tree House Books and fight off a T-Rex with the stick.
I would be a band conductor. And I would wave my baton (stick) around furiously, trying to get the elephants (which obviously make up the band) attentions. xD
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