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Make Up The Worst Possible Opening Line Ever

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122 Reviews



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Sun Jan 02, 2011 12:41 am
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Sunshine says...



You know what makes me tick? Cheese. The stupid dairy product of the world. Who needs it? It's just stupid cow milk condensed into a yellow object of total pointlessness. It just makes the world so confusing. I mean REALLY. Swiss? Cheddar? Motzerella? Who gives a crap? IT'S JUST CHEESE! Why do you need so many flavors? You can make stuff without cheese! Ham and cheese sandwiches without cheese. It would be great! A perfect world without cheese! I must destroy cheese! MWHAHAHAHA! Nay-I must Destroy all dairy products of the world! We will live on custard and camel milk! Haha! Take THAT over priced dairy marketers! I shall rule the world with a dairy free fist! MWHAHAHA! Take that cheese of pointlessness! Hmm...I believe I have gotten off track. What was this story about again? I ditto. Ninja's I think. Yeah that's it. So anyway, I was like eating some pie...
I have loved the words and I have hated them. I only hope I have made them right.

---The Book Thief---

Hi, I'm Sunshine! It's lovely to meet you!




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816 Reviews



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Sun Jan 02, 2011 9:08 pm
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Shearwater says...



It was a sunny day outside when I woke up that Saturday afternoon, that day changed my life forever. -Insert dramatic music here-

:O
There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.
-W. Somerset Maugham




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Sun Jan 02, 2011 9:15 pm
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Skins says...



Hello, my name is PinkShearwater.

;)
Cat.




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Mon Jan 03, 2011 10:29 pm
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ultraviolet says...



"Hello, my name is Skins and my problem is I eat penguins." The people sitting on folding chairs in a circle said together in a monotonous voice, "Hello, Skins."
"Blah blah blah. You feel trapped in your life. Here is what I am hearing: happiness isn't worth any inconvenience."

~asofterworld.com




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Fri Jan 07, 2011 11:55 pm
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TorahikoOoshima says...



I am the chosen one.
Hajimari no yokan ni, soro soro to orotoki no, doki doki suru kimochi, wasurenai yo!




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147 Reviews



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Mon Jan 24, 2011 1:44 pm
LookUpThere says...



"I can't tell you who I am. I can't tell you why I'm here. I can't tell you where I come from. I wish you'd all just leave me alone.
Seriously, if you want to live, you'd put the book down..."

*Proceeds to put the book down*




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Wed Jan 26, 2011 4:46 pm
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Velvet says...



"I woke up and it was a good day."

Just as powerful as a ball of cotton. Although I am laughing at some of the openings in here; at least they are not that bad for my health!




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206 Reviews



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Wed Jan 26, 2011 5:01 pm
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LadyPurple says...



Um......
You're new? Great seas! Why haven't you gone to the Buddy System yet?



You're dealing with writers. The words "normal" and "usual occurrence" do not compute.
~Rosey Unicorn




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Sun May 01, 2011 5:06 am
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ilyah says...



Wow, I feel bad, I actually love some of those lines in the first post, mostly the peasant creeping one. I guess they'd be great comedy lines, but not really for good books! Anyway my line:

It was a dark and stormy night, so I found my snugglebunny, turned on the purple carebear nightlight, and snuggled under my hello kitty sheets, despite the fact that my police shift wasn't finished.




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Wed May 04, 2011 7:37 am
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Lavvie says...



Once upon a time, far far away, lived a beeee-ootiful princess with long golden hair and eyes the colour of the sky when it's really rainy and gloomy, sort of muddy, but not really, kind of ugly.




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206 Reviews



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Wed May 04, 2011 11:28 pm
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LadyPurple says...



There was a man walking through a forest. It was dark and cold. He pulled his jacket closer around him as the wind blew stronger. He was becomingworried and very, very hungry. He had to get to the place. He had to reach there before it was too late! He was getting to the forest edge and pushing past bushes when he came to...the place. McDonalds.
You're new? Great seas! Why haven't you gone to the Buddy System yet?



You're dealing with writers. The words "normal" and "usual occurrence" do not compute.
~Rosey Unicorn




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Thu May 12, 2011 2:57 am
Shamrock says...



I know Kung Fu!!!




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Thu May 12, 2011 3:35 am
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kjr5horses says...



Once upon a time in far away kingdom it was a dark stormy night and the castle was shrouded in mist and a beautiful princess with skin as white as snow....

*Yes I am making fun of the boring over used openings!*
"Me I'm dishonest but a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly its the honest ones you have to watch out for because you can never tell when they are going to do something incredibly...stupid." ~Capt. Jack Sparrow




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Fri May 27, 2011 4:24 am
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TheCodex says...



I was normal before all this. Now, I'm not. Continue reading if you dare, beacuse this book may just land you in the same danger as me.

OR

Dear reader......



:shock:
I'm a high functioning sociopath, do your research!
-
"You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club."
- Jack London.




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336 Reviews



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Fri May 27, 2011 12:46 pm
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Jas says...



And then he died.
I am nothing
but a mouthful of 'sorry's, half-hearted
apologies that roll of my tongue, smoothquick, like 'r's
or maybe like pocket candy
that's just a bit too sweet.

~*~