How about:
"It was a dark and stormy night, as wet and miserable as a cat that has been drenched by a neighbour's hosepipe because it keeps trespassing in said neighbour's garden."
or
"Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess who had been imprisoned by a cruel witch inside a poorly written story."
or how about
"It is a truth universally acknowledged that a reader in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a book that does not start with such boring, cliched openings."
Gender:
Points: 455
Reviews: 359