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Excuses

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Mon Dec 03, 2007 1:28 am
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MadHatter says...



Teacher: Why were you late?

Me: I was brutally attacked by a pack of rapid squirrels who took me to their underground layer. Once there, I plotted my escape but was stopped by The Squirrelinator. They put me in a deep dark prison filled with nuts and bark...THREE HOURS LATER...and because I boarded the pirates spaceship, the dark lord knew where I was so...THREE MORE HOURS...which is why Tippy ran away from the gecko...THREE MORE HOURS...which is why I'm late to class.

Teacher: Snoar....

Me: Teacher?

Teacher: What? What?

Me: You were about to give me extra credit.

Teacher: Okay
Voldemort: You kids! If I ever find out who's calling I will tell the wizard law and you will go to wizard jail and then I'll kill you!

Harry Potter Puppet Pals - Wizard Swears




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Tue Dec 04, 2007 5:32 am
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Firearris says...



Mom: Why didn't you do your homework?

Kid: I forgot.

Mom: HOW COULD YOU FORGET?! YOUR MENTOR EMAILED YOU EVERYDAY REMINDING YOU!

Kid: Mom, you FORGOT to renew my email! The email company emails you reminders to renew my email. So now my email is expired. *walks off to finish the homework.*



:elephant: I tried to think of something! :elephant:

Firearris
[Griffinkeeper] 10:45 pm: The guard appears "We have weasels now!"
[Firearris] 10:45 pm: askes the guard for the weasel!
[Griffinkeeper] 10:45 pm: The guard gives Firearris the Weasel.
[Firearris] 10:46 pm: aquires the weasel and renames it "Cat"

Take that, Lumi.




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Tue Dec 11, 2007 8:11 am
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CrimsonRose says...



"where is your homework?"



"I left it in hell with my soul. Don't tempt me god damn it! I will slowly ruin your life"
"Give me my Romeo; and, when he shall die,
Take him and cut him out in little stars,
And he will make the face of heaven so fine
That all the world will be in love with night
And pay no worship to the garish sun."




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Wed Dec 12, 2007 5:24 am
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whence says...



"Where's your homework?"
"Uh...where's yours?"
"B...wa...I'm the teacher! That's completely irrelevant!"
"Whatever, hypocrite *walks off* "
The good parts of a book may be only something a writer is lucky enough to overhear or it may be the wreck of his whole damn life — and one is as good as the other.
Ernest Hemingway




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Mon Dec 17, 2007 2:03 am
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JFW1415 says...



Teacher: Where's your homework?

Student: The goat ate it.

Teacher: *Looks at student, unbelieving.*

Student: Really! See? *Holds up chewed paper.*





By the way, this really happened to me once! :P




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Wed Dec 19, 2007 4:36 am
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helpless42 says...



well see the reason I didnt do my homework is because first I was baby sitting, then I had to run to go get milk. on the way to the store I was attacked and kinaped. they drove all the way to maine then we got on a plane and flew to china. after we got there we stood in this felid looking up at the sky. then POOF outa nowhere, a spaceship comes down and sucks up up. there they did test on me and after they were done they put us back in china. I explained to the kinnapers that I would have to get back to do my homework but they just slapped me and made me pass out with some funny smellin' stuff. thats when I woke up in the morning to discover me tied to a table, I broke the ropes and ran to school. so you see, I stick and have no homework becauses i barly escaped with my life.




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Wed Dec 19, 2007 5:32 am
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FinalFreedom says...



Teacher: "Wheres your blue sheet?"

Me: "Blue sheet? What blue sheet?"

Teacher: "The Blue sheet that was due for homework."

Me: "Oh, that! Sorry, I was walking through the kitchen with the rest of the blue sheets you gave me for homework throughout the whole entire school year, which happens to be every single sheet you've given out, and accidentally dropped them all in a sink full of water, filled persistently by my mother, as I was knocked over by the Border Collie I don't have.

Teacher looks confused, as I said the answer at 100 mph

Me: "See now, you'd be less confused if you hadn't confused me in the first place."

Teacher: "So, you're telling me your dog ate it?"

Me: "No, I said that I already handed my assignment into you yesterday, which you would remember if you hadn't left it on the other teachers desk."


Sorry if its stupid, was all I could think up right now :P
Anti-Peta.

"In Vabbi , I was ambushed by six of them! They wielded blunt wooden sticks and were hissing at me about overdue fines... Bandits? Oh, no. These were library envoys."

-- Vael/Nathanael, Guild Wars: Eye of the North




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Fri Jan 04, 2008 3:20 am
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Firearris says...



Teacher: Where is your homework?

Kid: I need to use the restroom.

Teacher: go ahead.


*kid goes to the rest room and escapes through the window.*
[Griffinkeeper] 10:45 pm: The guard appears "We have weasels now!"
[Firearris] 10:45 pm: askes the guard for the weasel!
[Griffinkeeper] 10:45 pm: The guard gives Firearris the Weasel.
[Firearris] 10:46 pm: aquires the weasel and renames it "Cat"

Take that, Lumi.




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Fri Jan 04, 2008 3:23 am
Alice says...



(Fire, my dad laughed at that one)


Teacher: Why are you late?

Kid: I'm not late.

Teacher: yes you are!

Kid: no, I'm on time now, I was late.

Teacher: smart mouth.

Kid: I know I'm smart aren't I?
I just lost the game.




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Fri Jan 04, 2008 3:30 am
Firearris says...



(lol)


Teacher: Where is your homework?

Kid: *digs around in backpack, nervous* "Uh... hang on... it's in he- SICK 'ER, HOBBS! *hurls stuffed tiger at the teacher*
[Griffinkeeper] 10:45 pm: The guard appears "We have weasels now!"
[Firearris] 10:45 pm: askes the guard for the weasel!
[Griffinkeeper] 10:45 pm: The guard gives Firearris the Weasel.
[Firearris] 10:46 pm: aquires the weasel and renames it "Cat"

Take that, Lumi.




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Sat Jan 05, 2008 8:49 pm
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triggerfingerxx says...



"sorry, but I have to wash my hair"
Whaa???




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Sat Jan 12, 2008 2:06 am
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Samantha Eliza says...



(Fire, that one was hilarious.)

Teacher: Where's your homework?

Kid: See... it's a very funny story. I was sitting in my room, admiring my finished assignment, when all of the sudden, Aquaman comes in and takes my paper. It was very frightening.

Teacher: Stop lying. You didn't do it, did you?

Kid: I did. Just go find Aquaman, and you'll have it.

(OK, that was the dumbest thing I've ever written in my life.)




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Sat Jan 12, 2008 6:43 pm
Lady Sydney says...



Teacher: Where's your homwork?

Student #1: At home.

Teacher: Well, you know you're getting a zero then, right?

Student #1: Ya know, Ma'am, I heard that the election for Teacher of the Year is coming up pretty soon. We, as the students, get to vote this time. I also heard that Mr. Oongbaba is one vote ahead of you.

Teacher: I don't care. You're still not getting any credit! *whispers down so that only the rest of the class can't hear* You're getting an A, of course.

Student #1: Great! *goes back to her desk*

Student #2: *whispering to Student #1* I thought that the Teacher of the Year thing wasn't until next year.

Student #1: *whispering back* Shh! She'll hear you!
Formerly known as Silly Sydstix... as well as Aquarius Angel.




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Mon Jan 14, 2008 6:26 am
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Porcelain Angel says...



Teacher: Where is your assignment

Student: *holds up tiny wad of paper* Here is part of it, I'll get the rest of it when my washer finally coughs it up ((used something similar to this only involving a parrot and excrement))
If I give you my hands, will you lead me into the fire?




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Sun Jan 27, 2008 4:43 am
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MidnightVampire says...



Teacher: Ok, everyone pull out your homework

Student: can I go to the bathroom? (doesn't wait for the answer, leaves before he's caught.)

Teacher(after student comes back in): Were you avoiding taking out your homework?

Student: No. My homeworks done

Teacher; Then why isn't it on your desk

Student: because I had to pee!

Teacher (looks up from a paper she was grading):Take it out!

Student (searching backpack): One minute. My mom rearanged my backpack. Gosh Darn it! I can't find anything! This will just take a minute

(finishes homework while the teacher grade's everyone else's)
student (at the end of class): See! I finished it! I told you!

*the only thing that's funny about this is a friend of mine actually used an excuse like this. Sorry I took part of it. And sorry it's lengthy.*
I realized that I said I'd be gone for only two weeks...but I was gone for much longer.I hope to stay on this time. :)