Ooh, I'm interested. You introduce the characters nicely, and it makes me want to know who they are. Images immediately spring to my mind about what could be happening. It is sort of funny too.
“Mrs. Derra?” Mirren raised her slender arm up into the air. Her creamy brown skin was smooth, a thin hand poised at the end of it. Mirren’s long, black hair was tied up today, a ponytail bobbing whenever she moved her head. It reminded Shori of one of the old fashioned buoys that her mother still used in their lake.
“Yes, Mirren?” Mrs. Derra was always lenient with Mirren. Normally, Mrs. Derra was one teacher whom you didn’t want to cross, but she seemed almost motherly when it came to Mirren. It must have been the fact that Mirren was the class star. But Shori couldn’t place it; Mirren was stellar in History, but absolutely useless anywhere else. Genius wasn’t supposed to be like that.
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