6/10
I feel like you have too much crammed in here and there, and that last sentence is a little convoluted. You've not introduced the Otherworld, and the fact there was a second world instead of this being a straight up urban fantasy where magic was simply hidden through me for a loop. I would establish the Otherworld sooner, or at least the concept of two worlds, just so it's not out of left field at the end.
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Kerani’s sole purpose has always been ensuring the survival of her bloodline, through murder and through marriage, until assassinations in the cracks of society threaten to burst into the heart of the empire. With a suitor beckoning for a docile wife, her father demanding a dutiful daughter, and a heart raging for justice of the forgotten, she has a choice— give up her blades and play political games within her own palace, or jump into the heat of battle no matter how far away from home that takes her.
Raised with the heart of a queen, knowing all too well how many will die along every path available, she has sworn to protect her people. But first, she must decide what cost she is willing to pay.
Gender:
Points: 89625
Reviews: 1272