Young Writers Society

Julian looked at her. She did look different. Well, a least a little. No, that was a lie. She looked very different. Although he prefered her curly hair, he liked the way it looked now.

"It looks really good." He said. He didn't smile or reach out to touch it like he wanted to. "Grab your coat." He said, getting up.

"What?" She asked. Still sitting down.

"Grab your coat. We're leaving for a while." He said.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

"Out." he said picking up his own coat.

Naya gave Julian a look of confusion. She was more than just slightly apprehensive as to where he was planning on taking her. Everything was closed today. But, she obeyed nonetheless. After wrapping up warm she followed him out of their hotel room and down the escalator and out of the building where a taxi stood at the entrance already waiting for them.

As they got in and the car began to drive down the deserted city roads, Naya’s curiosity grew by the minute. She was never one to like surprises. Her father had called it her one and only flaw, though in hindsight Naya realised he’d been kind to her when he said that. It was clear, after being with Julian, that she clearly had more flaws than just one. Impatience for example...

“Can you please tell me where we’re going?” she asked.

He just sat quietly while she harassed him with a bunch of questions. "No, I can't tell you. That was defeat the whole purpose of 'surprise'."

She gave a 'new born puppy' face.

Julian crossed his arms. "No."

She started to uncross his arms for him. "Pretty please."

He shook his head. "You'll see when we get there."

They waited in the cab for about twenty more mintues. The driver was driving very slowly because there was a little ice on the road. When they pulled up, Naya's eyes got a little too big. She stared at Julian. Julian didn't seem to notice as he got out of the taxi and walked up to the curb. He had brought her to a five star restaurant, and the beauty of it, it was only going to be the two of them and the chief for the next couple hours.

"Julian, why exactly are we here?"

Julian shrugged. "You shouldn't have to cook, it's Christmas, we both needed to get out of that hotel. Any more questions?" He asked.

She just shook her head.

He flashed a brilliant smile at her. "Well then, lets get inside."

Naya was lost for words. This was probably the most sweetest thing he had ever done for her. She could feel her cheeks flush but luckily he’d probably see that as down to the cold weather.

The place was beautiful inside. The walls and interior were a warm mahogany, a magnificent chandelier hung from the ceiling surrounded by small circular mirrors and the circular tables scattered around the restaurant each had their own golden coloured lanterns.

“Welcome,” smiled a pale-skinned man Naya assumed to be the head-chef. “Please follow me...”

If Naya thought that the restaurant itself was beautiful, it was nothing compared to the small private section set up at the very end of the room behind a large wall fountain...

Julian had read good reviews of this place in the newspaper. He wanted to take her out. They both deserved it, after all that they have been through. Julian convinced himself that he had done this just for himself, but secretly he didn't even know he had done all this for Naya.

"Order whatever you want." He said, not looking up from the menu.

If she was staring at him. He pretended not notice...

Whatever the reason Julian did this, Naya fought the urge to hug him and show how much she appreciated it, not because this was a five star restaurant, but because he brought her here himself, out of his own accord. She wondered what that meant, him doing this, that kiss they shared, neither of them had really talked about it which confused her. It was as if they were both waiting for the other to say something. Naya was too unsure over how Julian felt about it to speak up herself.

Maybe that was why she could see him putting up a mask and avoiding her gaze. After they ordered their meals, Naya decided to try and keep things casual and light. Maybe he was just as confused as she was...he was having second thoughts about the whole thing.

She hoped not.

“D’you remember our first dinner together?” she asked irecalling the day her parents invited the Anderson’s over for a banquet.

“Course I remember.” Julian responded. “It sucked thanks to you...”

He was being playful, she knew it, and she decided to play along too. “Excuse me?”

“You couldn’t even make conversation.”

Naya blinked in a ‘oh no you didn’t’ sorta way. “First of all, that’s because I was nervous,” she pressed matter-of-factly. “And second of all, you weren’t exactly making things any easier for me!”

Julian cocked his eyebrow with amusement, an innocent look on his face. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I was a gentleman the entire evening.”

“You mean a moody gentleman,” Naya corrected him. “But I get it now. Underneath it all you’re just a big softie,” she teased.

Julian looked incredulous. “Am not.”

“Are too.”

“Am not!”

“Are too!”

He threw her a playful look of annoyance. “Being with you all this time is seriously starting to have a bad influence on me.”

“You love having me around, really.” Naya smirked playfully before taking a sip of wine from her glass.

Julian didn't know how to respond to that. He never really thought about keeping her around. He never thought of their divorce. Except for the those times where she completely pissed him off. Even then, they were just anger thoughts. He wasn't sure how to feel about this.

"I enjoy having you around... Sometimes." He made sure he added the 'sometimes'.

She smiled, as if she would let it go at that. Julian knew that inside her head wheels were turning. He wanted to know what she was thinking.

They ordered their food and waited half an hour before it arrived. When it arrived, it looked very very delicious.

Naya didn’t realise how hungry she was until she put food in her mouth. She couldn’t remember eating a good full meal since she got married which wasn’t all that surprising considering Naya was the kinda girl that could only put food in her mouth when she was in a good mood. Hardly the case since being married.

But she was in a good mood now, so she ate to her fill. Apparently that seemed to surprise Julian.

“What?” she asked before swallowing her food. She noticed him staring at her.

Julian shrugged. “Nothing, it’s just, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you eat like this before...I had you down like all the other girls...always on a diet...”

Naya rolled her eyes. “Contrary to popular opinion not all Californian girls live on rice-cakes. Me and my sister Danni for example, we’re both total foodies.”

He grinned. He looked so much like Jace when he did that. Naya tried to ignore it.

“You and your sister are quite close, huh?”

Naya was surprised by his question. It was the first time Julian made any initiative to want to know anything about her life let alone her family.

“Yeah, we are,” she responded. “It sounds super cheesy but she’s sorta like my best-friend. Growing up, our parents never really had much time for us. They were always busy entertaining or being entertained at all the upper-class events to raise funds for their charities. But Danni never made me feel like I missed them, she and Rosa were always there for me...”

Naya stopped there and took another sip from her wine glass. Talking about Danni and Rosa made her feel sad and she didn't want to feel sad...not today...

Sad. He had seen it in her eyes. Had he ever felt sad before? Maybe, a long time ago. He wasn't completely unfeeling. He just knew to keep his distance from others. It always came in handy.

"That is kind of like Jasper... And me." He cleared his throat. "He maybe not be completely reliable all the time, but he's my little brother."

He saw more hurt in her eyes. She was thinking of Jace. Julian forced himself to shrug it off and continue. "I was the oldest since Jessica die- passed away. Jasper wasn't weak, ever and I know that when I came home from the military he and Jenn were the only ones who cared. They picked me up and we had our own little party, we may not be foodies but we are alcoholics." Maybe stories weren't going to help.

He saw a hint of a smile. At least he was getting somewhere...

Naya smiled because he mentioned Jennifer’s name.

“If your sister saw us here now she’d be over the moon,” she told him.

Julian raised a brow. “How’d you mean?”

Naya shrugged. “When we came back from Italy Jennifer and I had a little heart to heart...about you and your whole ‘issue’...”

Julian looked more than just a little confused. "What issue..."

Naya bit her bottom lip contemplating whether the two of them were at the point where they could discuss something so sensitive. "You know...your whole problem with letting people in...with loving..."

He didn't feel bretrayed. In fact he didn't feel anything at all. Tonight was about them and some delious food. He cut his steak, four times and that was it. It was a good idea, to take his mind off of things.

"You did." He didn't ask it. He knew it happened. What was he suppose to tell her? This wasn't a fairy tale and from where he was sitting neither of them were royalty.

She nodded. "I'm sorry. You know if I wasn't suppose to talk about it?" she asked.

He shrugged, letting her know he didn't mind. "There isn't much to talk about. I can't love. It's kind of like people who are chased by serial killers. The victums would never be the same if they ever got away, they would be crazy or at least paranoid. The same way watching a parent get killed, watching your twin get killed and then shipped off to the military."

When she said nothing, he forced himself to go one.

"That's why I can't love. I don't know how to. Love is like my paranoia. I can't love you, I can't stay married to you, and I won't give you children. But, I do care about you, Naya. I care about you a lot."

He had said it.

The one thing that had been bothering Naya all this time, the one thing she feared would happen after they got back home.

He was going to leave her.

She swallowed hard and tried to look like she wasn’t hurt by his words but the truth was that she was hurt...really hurt. She’d stupidly had this idea in her head that after everything they went through together, after all those feelings, after that kiss...that maybe Julian was falling in love with her just as she was falling in love with him, and that maybe there was some hope for the pair of them. But in just a few seconds Julian had shattered those hopes like broken glass.

He should never have kissed her if he felt this way. It only made his words that much more difficult to hear.

**sorry internet connection sucks :/**

He knew. He was sorry. Never meant to hurt her, the words were the truth. He couldn't love her. So he watched her as she excused herself and went into the bathroom.

It's not you, it's me. He thought a little angerly. He didn't know what to do...

Naya excused herself from the table and headed straight for the ladies room. She didn't know why, all she knew was that she needed some time on her own to react in the way that she wanted to; maybe vent out, break something, scream or cry, whatever...without Julian seeing...

Suddenly, there came a quiet knocking on the bathroom door.

He knew that he blew it. He couldn't help it though. It was the truth, and damn it, he wasn't about to take crap from her when he had only been truthful. He had almost followed her into the bathoom, but he knocked instead.

"I'll be out in a minute." She said.

Julian wanted to go in there, but he couldn't make her understand. She was lovely, yes, but no love would ever exsist between the two of them. He just didn't want her to get hurt. She didn't deserve it. Not after all of this had happened to them, and he needed to explain that to her. He just didn't know how...