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Young Writers Society


Darkmoor Juvenile Prison DT



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29 Reviews



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Reviews: 29
Sun Sep 26, 2010 2:49 pm
jok101 says...



I wish it was friday
  





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Fri Oct 01, 2010 5:39 pm
BenFranks says...



Important notice to SB members:

Storybook has started.

Please do not rush, take your time to write your first post. Read other's posts first and when you've finished writing your post, use the spell check.

Read over your post twice before submitting and then once you have submitted it, read the previous post (and posts relating to your character) and your post again. If everything is sound, then leave it, if you feel it isn't fluent, edit it appropriately.

Please remember to check other's character profile posts when posting something relating to their character.

--------------

You may also be contacted about your post as this is a Learner's storybook. Improving the quality is the number one objective for us and, I'm sure, you too.
  





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29 Reviews



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Fri Oct 01, 2010 11:18 pm
jok101 says...



Am I the only one not quite sure were to go from the first post?
  





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Fri Oct 01, 2010 11:23 pm
NinjaCookieMonster says...



... Nope, I'm with you.
hey, Jude, don't make it bad
take a sad song and make it better
remember to let it into your heart
then you can start
to make it better.

~make books, not war~

"Not vampires, fish from space."
  





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Sat Oct 02, 2010 12:56 am
Georgiexx says...



I am also with you...
Today im happier than a bird with a french fry ;)
  





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Sat Oct 02, 2010 10:38 am
BenFranks says...



Suggestions:

- You describe the walk up to your monday morning breakfast and perhaps have a conversation with someone in the queue, to which you are told off or something.

- You describe what you are seeing in the hall from your character's point of view and go through the thought processes of your character.

- You meet the 'new boy' Mr Brown and start a conversation over your breakfast, timidly checking your watch for the time so of 0800 hours so you can dig in.

Up to you, but I'd like to see one of you be confident and jump for that first post!
  





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Sun Oct 03, 2010 2:56 pm
Rydia says...



Ben makes some awesome suggestions so listen to him and just go for it. Don't worry about making mistakes, we'll be on hand to help and anything that doesn't go to plancan be changed :)
Writing Gooder

~Previously KittyKatSparklesExplosion15~

The light shines brightest in the darkest places.
  





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Sun Oct 03, 2010 3:31 pm
ScarlettFire says...



Is there still room for me to join?
"With friends like you, who needs a medical license?" - Paimon, Aether's Heart


“It's easier to ask forgiveness than it is to get permission.” - Grace Hopper.
  





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Sun Oct 03, 2010 3:37 pm
Rydia says...



Sure, go ahead and start working on a profile ^^
Writing Gooder

~Previously KittyKatSparklesExplosion15~

The light shines brightest in the darkest places.
  





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Sun Oct 03, 2010 3:57 pm
ScarlettFire says...



Cool. Will do.
"With friends like you, who needs a medical license?" - Paimon, Aether's Heart


“It's easier to ask forgiveness than it is to get permission.” - Grace Hopper.
  





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Sun Oct 03, 2010 6:56 pm
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BenFranks says...



Well done jok101 for having the courage to make the first post. (:
  





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Wed Oct 06, 2010 10:35 pm
captain.classy says...



Hey guys, I've been on bed rest for the past few days... I've been a bit ill. Anyways, I'm hoping to get in my post soon! :)
  





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Thu Oct 07, 2010 3:23 pm
Lava says...



Oh dear. It didn't show up in my subscriptions. (I'll post tomorrow. Reading today.)
~
Pretending in words was too tentative, too vulnerable, too embarrassing to let anyone know.
- Ian McEwan in Atonement

sachi: influencing others since GOD KNOWS WHEN.

  





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Fri Oct 08, 2010 9:44 pm
Rydia says...



Sorry to hear about the illness captain, glad you're feeling better now!

No worries Lava, good to see you here :)
Writing Gooder

~Previously KittyKatSparklesExplosion15~

The light shines brightest in the darkest places.
  








But what about second breakfast?
— Peregrin Took