Young Writers Society

The conversation with Bo was... enlightening. And long.

As it turned out, there were many missing pieces to the puzzle James had been trying to make sense of in his head.

James didn't think he could rate any of the information as "most" shocking, but when he learned that Bo was a dragon, that inevitably made sense of things while it also left him with millions more questions. Bo and James were able to have a bit of a lengthy discussion about dragons - particularly in how it related to James becoming wanted in the first place.

James couldn't deny that it made his heart sink a little, though.

"Becoming a dragon doesn't really work like that," Bo explained. "No amount of dragon blood will make you a dragon. But there is some legitimate foundings for the experiments. It sounds like all of the dragon's blood you destroyed was actually mine. I was the only dragon they got their hands on."

But Bo faltered at that.

"Well," Bo hesitated. "That's not true actually. Jord was the first dragon to fall, and that was one of the main reasons 'the calamity' was what it was. Not the war, of course - that was man initiated. Ivar, my predecessor, was the second dragon to fall."

James found himself struggling to follow.

"Jord's domain was earth, so when he was killed, there was a bit of a... ripple effect," Bo went on. "It affected the earth, you know?"

James nodded, but said nothing.

"The thing about dragon's blood," Bo continued, circling back to the original point. "Is that while it won't make you a dragon, it can enhance your natural magical properties, but it's something that's largely unexplored. Namely because it's really not a normal thing to just go 'ha! let me inject your blood into my body!' to random people. Not that dragons are random, but-- you get what I mean. It's just not a normal thing to think about. And also, there's the whole issue of blood not always being transferable to every person, because some people's bodies reject it and so on and so on..."

"So all of that to say," Bo said. "You really did prevent something messy from happening back there in the kingdom, to which I can only thank you on behalf of myself and anyone else who would've unfortunately been a victim of it. I don't know what transfusions of my blood would do to a person, but I think it's really better that we never find out, you know? I just don't think that's something that needs to be explored if we already know it's more dangerous than anything. Like, it's more likely to kill the recipient than anything. It's like the equivalent of infusing lightning in your veins."

James found himself staring at Bo, still processing everything he was saying.

"There's lightning in your veins?" James asked dumbly. He didn't know why he even asked. Bo laughed.

"Not literally," Bo said. "But it'd burn, I imagine. A blood transfusion. Anyways, we've gotten away from the main subject..."

And so they had.

Bo went on to explain more of the situation with Carter and Tula.

Tula had witnessed everything through Ingrid's eyes as James had suspected, and she'd explained it all back to Bo in explicit detail. Bo tried his best to relay it back to James, but James could tell that Bo's retelling of the story was dramatically reframed from what Tula must've told him. James had a feeling Tula would've glorified the acts of violence, but when Bo told James, it was incredibly sobering.

It was true that Carter had killed Ingrid, Kirk, and Hellen. It appeared that neither Bo nor Tula knew the fate of Nessa, so she was missing in action, if she hadn't been otherwise caught by the kingdom for being a mage.

That was a whole other thing James hadn't exactly expected - that all of them were mages.

They'd all been his friends too. He wondered how they'd reacted to discovering he'd been a mage.

And yet they still let him get locked away in the palace, doing nothing while he was tortured relentlessly.

Bo said that what woke them up was what happened to Fonzi.

James couldn't help but feel a sting of bitterness at that; Fonzi's fate gave them the wakeup call that James's didn't.

James still was by no means delighting in the fact they were dead, but he found himself accepting that it was the fate they'd willingly led themselves into by following Carter all that time. It was a last-ditch effort for them to try to stop him, and it was terrifying to think that Carter had been so quick to dispatch of them, like they were nothing.

If James had stayed his course, that might've been him. Then again, nothing would've ever happened to Fonzi if James hadn't been caught in the first place. That was the only reason Elias had been there, pressed to use his magic.

And that was something that Bo was clear was a secret that had to stay between the two of them. Bo didn't want everyone to know. Not even Elias knew - which was something that James could understand, but he knew it wasn't something to take lightly. Though Bo didn't explicitly spell it out for him, James knew in light of all of this that what happened in the palace was likely going to catch up to Elias soon.

But Bo seemed to be acutely aware of this, and James was glad that he was. But still, as a friend, he did worry for Elias.

James had his own monsters he wasn't ready to face yet, but he wanted to be there for Elias, too. At least, however much he could.

It was a lot to take in. James found himself only speaking up to ask questions, and Bo was thorough in his explanations, so James didn't find himself asking much.

"So... Carter and Tula are in New Haven," James said. "Along with Robin and Deidra."

Bo nodded.

"What's become of them?" James asked.

"Well... hopefully Tula and Diedra are getting adjusted to a more normal life," Bo said. "They're both getting therapy, but Tula's will be far more involved. They're free to settle into the city as they please. I suppose we'll find out what they're up to when we get there."

"And Carter?" James asked.

"He's in the care of Mickey, the current earth dragon, who's also my adoptive father," Bo said. "He's not really in a position to jump into normal life in a city, as you can already imagine. But Mickey will be working with him. I hope he comes around, but there's really no telling, at the moment. Carter's a complicated case."

James hummed. That was an understatement.

"You said Mel overheard some of this," Bo said. "I wouldn't worry about it too much. It sounds like she doesn't have a lot of the pieces, but it's better that way, at least for the moment, I think. There are a lot of moving pieces, and I don't think everyone needs to be privy to it all. Especially if it doesn't directly affect them at the moment."

Bo went on to explain who knew what information - which, at first was a lot to wrap his head around, but once James was able to group people into certain situations, it all started to make more sense.

Elias knew some things about Carter because of their confrontation, and he knew Bo was a dragon, because Bo trusted him with that.

Elise had gained Bo's trust as a friend along with Mel and Raj, and the four of them seemed to be the most open, sharing almost everything with each other.

Eve seemed to know almost everything except for the details of what happened with Elias in the palace, but James understood that wasn't about Eve - that was about Elias and not talking about all of his private information with others. Bo had admitted he wished he hadn't even needed to tell James, but it was impossible to explain what happened to Fonzi otherwise.

That just let Mel, who only had bits and pieces.

It was a lot to keep track of, though, and James felt like he had enough to think about for weeks by the time he walked away from the conversation.

The whole day, the entire conversation kept swimming in his head. It lived on into the evening, even as he sat with Mel, who'd finally followed up on giving him a haircut.

James sat there, still feeling like his mind was somewhere else. Like he had one foot in one room, one in the other.

"Now imagine," Mel said as he looked at himself through the mirror she gave him. "What if you looked like this?"

His hair changed in the mirror as she worked her magic. At first it was a blur, but after a second, he was bald except for a streak in the middle of his head, which stood upright in spikes.

James blinked at her, unamused.

"No," he said flatly.

Mel clicked her tongue in disappointment. "Okay, then what about this?"

The mirror changed again. His hair was long and unkempt - not too different than what it was now. Except, of course, it was all white instead of there just being a streak.

"I'm thinking we can use your old man energy to your advantage," Mel said with fake enthusiasm, eagerly nodding.

"Hilarious," James said with a sigh, unamused. "No."

Mel leaned in so he could see her pouting in the mirror. But the pout quickly turned to her usual big smile as she began to tousle his hair.

"Alright, so what are you thinking?" she asked in a chipper tone, done with the jokes. "Do you want short hair? Wanna keep the long hair? Want me to lean into the white hair? Maybe try something new?"

Her fingers snagged on the hair on the underside of his head as she tried to untangle it. She hummed.

"Seems that you've got a fair bit of matted hair down here, so it'll be easier to have shorter hair, but I can work around what you want," Mel said.

James hummed. It was a small thing, but he still remembered telling Eve, long before all of this, that one day he'd teach her how to braid hair and would let her practice on him. He wanted to keep some length... but he knew it'd be impossible to preserved it all.

"Can you keep it long on top?" James asked. "And just go really short on the sides. I don't mind losing the length on the lower layer, but I want to keep some."

His hair was so thick, anyway. It'd be nice to have less weight on top of his head.

Mel playfully hummed, tousling his hair again before working her magic. "Okay. How about this?" she asked as his hair took on new shape in the mirror.

Essentially, the hair on the sides of his head and in the back was shaved close to the skin, and almost all of the length on top was preserved. Mel seemed to flip between showing him what it could look like down or pulled back, never leaving out the strip of white hair he seemed to have obtained during his time away.

Even though he'd already made a decision, he found himself looking in the mirror more at his face than anything else.

He really did look like he'd aged in the past few months. He wondered how much of that was because of... Arimala's magic.

"I like that," James finally said, having to force himself to sound convincing.

"Alright! Let's do it," Mel chirped, letting her magic fade away as she ruffled through her supplies.

After a few moments, she pulled out a fine-toothed comb and started to comb through his hair.

"Soooooo," she sounded out. "I feel like it's been forever since we talked. Since, ya know. You left us to be a hero and all. Seems like you have a lot to catch me up on."

James hesitated. He... he felt like Mel knew everything that had happened. At least, the big things. What more was there to say?

"Well," James said. "I feel like you know more of what happened with me than I do about what's been going on with you. All I know is you all somehow stumbled into the company of the world's largest underground rescue organization for mages. Or something."

Mel giggled, separating his hair so she could comb through the top layers. "Yeah, that about sums it up. We did stumble into them by coincidence. And it's a good thing too, right? How else were we going to bust you out of there?"

James hesitated.

He supposed he did owe a lot to Bo and the others. He didn't even know them, and they'd risked so much to save him. It... wasn't even something he'd earned.

He found himself thinking he should have asked Bo why they did it. Perhaps he'd have another chance...

"I... know that Eve left with Elliot shortly after my disappearance," James said quietly. "How long were all of you... wandering?"

"Honestly?" Mel said with a little laugh. "I can't even remember. All the days blur together now. It was at least a few days... maybe a week... but it could have been a month. It wasn't so bad, though. Well... okay, it was kind of stressful and we did fight a lot. By we, I really mean me and Alistair, because we could not see eye-to-eye on what kind of imaginary future we'd have without our only two guides on Nye. But anyways, that's all behind us now."

"And you ran into Bo... how exactly?" James asked.

"Bongo. Can you believe it? We were following a creek and recognized the muddy footprints he left behind. What are the odds?" Mel chuckled. "That helped us, but after that, Hendrik got obsessed with making sure Bongo didn't leave tracks."

"Wait, so Hendrik found the mages first?" James asked. "What, did he just... appear on Nye surrounded by all of the animals?"

"Yeah, pretty much," Mel said with a laugh. "That's what he told us. Apparently he thought this was some wild fever dream. That's why he hoarded a bunch of random animals."

Well now James felt bad. That was depressing.

"Well... I'm glad you all found one another eventually," James said.

"Me too," Mel said with a smile, pausing for a moment. "Makiel, Rudy, and Finn were all together too. Jordan and a goblin named Dinny found them. You didn't meet her, but she was a part of Bo's group. I'll have to tell you more about Jordan soon, but -- anyways. Getting you up to speed... Well, you know what happened with Makiel and Rudy. Jordan and Dinny were able to escape with Finn. They did find us, and they stayed with us for a little while. And by that time, Robin found Makiel and Rudy as well. Rudy, Dinny, and Finn aren't here since this rescue mission isn't exactly safe for children, so they volunteered to take him to the city."

Mel paused, reflecting.

"I think that about sums up what happened to everyone," she finished.

James hummed.

That was quite the summation. It took him a moment to sort it out, but it was good to hear that Rudy and Finn were safe. He'd wondered where they were when he only saw Makiel.

"Who's Jordan?" James asked after a brief silence.

Mel was about to make her first cut, but at that, her eyes sparkled and she grinned wide.

"Oh, you know," she sing-songed casually, smiling as she started to cut his hair. "Just a guy I really, really like, and who really, really likes me. No big deal."

Oh. That explained the cuddling James vaguely remembered witnessing.

"This is one of the, uh--" James started. "The people in the group?"

"Yeah! You haven't met him yet? Oh my gosh, I should introduce you two. He's tall, and funny, and - oh! Wait a second! Didn't you already meet him? Eve mentioned that you guys met him at some mage camp years ago," Mel said.

James stared ahead of him blankly as the memory was suddenly unearthed from the recesses of his mind.

Jordan. That was the guy who... pinned him down? Was he remembering that right? They'd essentially forced him to get his arm healed, but they'd stumbled upon every other wound he was healing from at the time.

That felt like ages ago, now.

"Huh," James said distantly. "Yeah. I... I think I remember that."

"So what was he like back then?" Mel asked curiously. "I tried to ask Eve, but she gave me vague answers. And Jordan seemed too embarrassed to think back on it."

"He was... friendly, overall," James offered. "A bit immature, I suppose. A little pushy."

Mel hummed. "I guess we were all a little immature five years ago, though, huh?" she thought out loud, but didn't give him any time to answer her rhetorical question. "Anyways, you should totally meet up again. He's a really good guy. I'd love for you to get to know him now in the present."

"I'm sure he's grown," James said placatingly.

Mel scoffed. "Ew, why do you say that like he's some cat? Or a baby?" she said with a laugh.

"I... sorry," James said. "Changed. As a person, I mean. Since I last saw him. Haven't we all?"

Mel paused in her cutting for a brief moment. "What, did something happen back then? I feel like you're dancing around something."

James sighed.

"It... it was just something really awkward," James said. "Not necessarily bad. Just... I'd really rather not think about it."

"Well, alright," Mel said. "It's not going to be awkward meeting him again, is it?"

"I really can't say," James said. "I'll try not to make it weird on my end."

"Yeah, it's only weird if you make it weird. Problem with that though: you're pretty weird."

James couldn't exactly look at her, but he gave her side-eye.

"Must be all the weird things that've happened to me," James said dryly.

"Ooh, like what? What's the weirdest thing that happened to you recently?" Mel asked.

"Was hopping worlds not weird enough?" James asked.

"True, but that's not weird for me since I did it too. Try again," she said.

James sighed.

"I don't know..." James said as he tried to think of something. Something that was weird, and not too depressing to think about.

"Well, I can think of plenty of weird things that happened to me," Mel said when he took too long to answer. "Let's see. First: I totally tried to flirt with Bo before even noticing Jordan. Now I hardly notice him! ... Well, okay, that's - never mind. Another weird thing... Oh, Elias was being weird to me the other day. He basically ran up to me and Jordan to stare at us then ran away again. This was back in the caves. Maybe this was him pre-training for all the runs he's been doing? Who knows."

"It's possible he was just... spacing out," James offered. "He's known to do that sometimes."

"Yeah, I know. But later when I asked him about it, he actually spaced out in front of me. So I'm not really sure, but I'm not trying to overthink it," she said.

"That's probably for the best," James said.

But he knew Elias wasn't just spacing out. It sounded like he was dissociating. A lot. James knew full well what that meant.

"Let's see... what else is new?" Mel asked herself, changing subjects as she continued to cut his hair. "Alistair and Clandestine seem to be getting along really well. Have you met her yet?" She paused. "Have you even met anyone new besides Bo?"

"Uh..." James hesistated. "Not... really, actually. I've kind of been out of it for a week or so. It's not really condusive to making new relations."

At that, Mel happily gave extensive detail about everyone else, describing their appearance, personality, and relationships with others. Mel even used her magic to show their faces so that James could better remember them.

She first talked about Clandestine, who went by Clanny for short. She was bubbly and fun, and a powerful fire mage. Mel gushed about how cool they were together when they were at the palace, frequently mentioning how great of a team they made.

Next was Bo, although she didn't go into great detail about him since James already knew him. Still, James noticed that the image of him she created with her magic was far more chiseled and muscular than he really was - and that was saying something.

Next was Raj and Mel - the doctor, who sometimes went by Aradis since she shared the same name as her. Mel admitted she didn't know the other Mel that well, but she had a calming leadership presence and was a powerful healing mage. Her brother, Raj, was quiet and also a powerful earth mage. The two of them were usually by Bo's side, and she mentioned that Elise seemed to be good friends with them as well.

Even though Robin was no longer in their group, Mel went on to describe him anyways. He was a healing mage as well as a werewolf, and he often didn't hold back in his words. Mel mentioned that some people found him annoying and condesending - especially Hendrik, who ironically could also be annoying and condescending. But overall, Mel thought he was a pretty fun person to be around.

Mel also mentioned Adina even though James already knew her. She mostly went on to describe her current personality now. She was sweet, kind, and a hard worker, usually working behind the scenes making sure plans were executed as expected. Mel noted that Eve and Adina seemed to be good friends, as well as Elias and Adina - although she speculated that they may be flirting with each other.

And lastly, Mel went on to talk about Jordan again, this time in greater detail. She gushed about how great of a guy he was, namely about how he makes her laugh a lot and seemed to really care about her. It was a long ramble and James could tell that he meant a lot to her. She did pause a few times to ask him what he thought, like if they were moving too fast, or if he thought she was crazy that she was overthinking a phrase he said - but otherwise, Mel used up most of her time to chat about Jordan.

The haircut was almost finished now. Mel was giving him one last brush before tying his hair up, just like she showed him.

"So I know we're almost done, but I did want to ask about your other opinions," she said. "Namely about Tula and Carter. What are your thoughts about their current situation?"

James blinked, and he had to remember what Mel knew. She knew Carter was a mage, but she didn't know that Tula and Carter were already in New Haven. So, to Mel, their current situation was that they were traveling with Robin and Deidra on their way to New Haven.

Regardless, she didn't seem to be asking about their current place in time. She was clearly asking because both of them were directly responsible for everything James went through.

And now they were... going to the same city.

"I don't really know yet," James said, a little quieter. "I'm... happy for Tula. Mostly."

He still didn't know how he felt about Carter.

Mel hummed. "And Carter?" she asked.

"Ask me later," James said quietly.

"You know I will," Mel said as she finished tying up his hair. "And will you look at that - perfect timing. Here, I'll get another mirror so you can see."

As instructed, James held his mirror up and Mel reflected her mirror back to his so he could see the back of his head.

"Ta-da!" she said triumphantly. "What do you think?"

James tilted his head, feeling the back of it where the hair had been cut short.

Even though there was a little sadness at having to let it go, he knew his hair grew fast. And he was relieved to be rid of the knotted mess. It felt nice. Clean.

"I like it," James said, mustering a small smile. "It feels good. Thank you, Mel."

"No problem," Mel said with a big smile, putting away the mirror and her supplies.

She stopped for a moment to sit by him, now giving him her undivided attention.

"Hey, so I know I tease you a lot, and I know we don't talk to each other too much anymore, but..." She smiled and playfully pushed his arm. "I still enjoy talking to you and your weirdness. We're still friends, after all. So don't be a stranger, you hear?"

James grinned slightly, and even though it felt a little out of character, he tried to mimic the gesture, pushing her arm back.

"I won't," he said.

Another week passed.

At least... Elias thought it was another week. Then again, time was all relative - whatever that even meant. He used to ask someone every morning what day it was, but he stopped doing that because he could never remember anyways.

Elias admitted it was nice to be moving again. He found himself traveling more towards the front, at first. But Elise was usually traveling in the front with Bo and the others, and Elias grew weary of having the same conversations over and over again - so day by day, he drifted backwards.

It wasn't like he was looking for a conversation, per se. If anything, he longed to run to the city. But he knew that wasn't possible, so he kept it in his head, only imagining that he could do it. And the imaginary dream was frequently interrupted by someone getting his attention, maybe because he was spacing out while walking next to him.

"What are you thinking about?" Evaline asked him, bringing him back to reality.

Right. He was walking with Evaline and Adina in front of the wagon. Evaline mentioned something about how she wanted to spend the day moving with the others... at least, that was what Elias heard last.

"Uh... nothing, really," Elias said. "I was just focusing on walking."

"Seems like a lot of focus," she said.

"I guess so. I was also thinking about running." He paused. "Not now, but later."

"I see..." Evaline said, leaving it at that.

"You mean before bed, like you usually do?" Adina asked.

"Yeah. I was thinking I'd start earlier this time. I'm trying to avoid running in the dark," Elias said.

"That's usually wise," Adina said.

"Have you told Adina about why you're running?" Evaline asked.

Elias glanced up at her, then at Adina, hesitating.

"Uh..." he drew out. "No... not yet."

Elias could understand why people were curious why he'd want to take up running, although he didn't think he needed to flaunt his reasoning for it. Running was basically just faster walking anyways. And they did that everyday.

"Is there something you're working towards?" Adina asked.

"Honestly, not really, but..." Elias trailed off, noticing Evaline watching him carefully. He wondered if he was being tested. He usually was, with her. "Well. Call me crazy. But someday, I'd like to run and climb up a mountain."

"Like, a whole mountain?" Adina asked.

Elias shrugged. "Yeah, I think so."

"That'd be really impressive," Adina said.

"Yeah... we'll see," Elias said, leaving it at that.

Thankfully, Adina changed the conversation to something else. Elias tried to make an effort to talk when he felt it was appropriate, but for the most part, he daydreamed about what mountain to climb.

Did he even know of any mountains in Nye? He couldn't think of a single one. But he was sure he'd figure it out eventually.

The next day, he decided to hike with someone else, gravitating towards Mel and Jordan who always seemed to be together. Mel seemed pleasantly surprised that Elias seemed to stick around, but she welcomed him anyways.

"So, Elias, what's new with you?" she asked.

"Hmm... well, nothing really. You know, same old, same old. Just rolling with the motions," he said.

Mel seemed to watch him for a moment, but seemed happy to change the subject. She gave him updates about herself, namely talking through trivial things, like how her favorite shirt was so thin it had a gaping hole on it, and how she gave James a haircut recently. Eventually, the conversation died down and Jordan spoke up.

"You know, when we get to New Haven," Jordan said. "You'll get to see Finn again. I wonder what that little guy's up to."

At that, Elias felt like his brain short-circuited, interrupting the stream of consciousness that had been steadily flowing through his mind.

He stared at Jordan, trying to piece this together. Out of all the things, he kept tripping up over his two words...

"New Haven...?" Elias repeated, not sure what he was referencing.

"Yeah, isn't that the city name?" Mel asked.

"Yeah," Jordan said. "That's where we're going."

"Right..." Elias said quietly, wondering why he didn't even know that.

Someone had told him the city name before, right? Or did he completely miss it?

Mel lightly elbowed his arm. "It'll be nice seeing him again, won't it? It won't be too long til you'll see him again."

Elias let out a weak laugh, now facing the thought of Finnley head-on. He... hadn't really thought of him in a while. Was that bad?

"No, yeah, it will," Elias said quickly, knowing it would be awkward if he didn't say anything. "Do you, erm... know who's taking care of him?"

"I think Dinny's probably still involved," Jordan said. "But they probably have him in a home at the moment with a family. They usually try to place kids into families."

"Oh... good to know," Elias said quietly.

And thankfully, Mel changed the subject again.

Elias found himself slipping away again, excusing himself as he debated thinking this through. It sounded like Finnley was in a loving home. Maybe he was in the process of getting adopted. What did this mean for him? And for Elias?

His head hurt. He didn't really want to think of this right now.

He wished this conversation occurred at night so that he could run.

Elias tried not to think about it too much, trying his best to stay present. He was hiking by himself for a while before Alistair and Clanny caught up to him - or maybe they ran up to him. He wasn't sure which.

"Are you alright?" Alistair asked.

"Yeah. Just thinking through some stuff," Elias said with a strained smile, dismissing the thought with his hand. "What are you two up to?"

"I was just telling Alistair that maybe I should get in to glass-blowing," Clandestine said. "Since I'm basically a human torch."

"Glass-blowing..." Elias repeated.

"You know, when you shape glass into cool shapes. You can make all sorts of things. Cups. Vases. Little figurines," Clandestine said.

Elias nodded, trying to remember a time when he did see glass being melted into shapes like that. He felt like he did see that once, but it felt distant.

"Like glass lava," he said.

"See, I was thinking the same thing. It's liquidy. So maybe it would be more of a water mage than fire mage thing," Alistair said.

"Glass isn't a liquid," Clandestine said. "It's like... a semi-solid mass. Right? It softens under head but it's not a liquid. Glass is like... it's more in the family or crystals and rocks. Right? I'd just be heating it up."

"Well, have you tried heating up rocks before? Did it turn to lava?" Alistair asked.

Clandestine hesitated.

"I... I guess it's more like... lava..." she said, sounding reluctant to say so.

"Thanks," Alistair said to Elias with a smirk. "You just solved this argument we've had for the last hour."

"Uh... you're welcome," Elias said with a breathy laugh, not really sure what happened.

Clandestine was easy to talk to because it seemed that she didn't really talk about herself or others too much. Elias was grateful for that, at least for this moment. He was tired of thinking about things that are important.

That night, Elias ran harder and faster than he ever had before. Night came faster than he realized, and he had to almost crawl back, feeling his legs giving up on him. It hurt in the morning as well, but just like all the other mornings, he seemed to be energized by some unknown source of energy.

It was painful, but strangely addicting. If he had it his way, he'd do this again and again and again: run, pass out, then run again.

That evening, Elias felt his stomach gnawing and clawing its way out, begging for food. Running and hiking every day was making him so hungry, but he controlled his portions, not wanting to take all the food from the limited supplies they had.

Still, Elias was beginning to dread the evenings.

Almost every day this week, Bo came by to say hi to Elias. At first, he'd try to include him during his dinners - but that only lasted one day before Elias tried to avoid that because he didn't particularly enjoy it. After that, Bo would say hi after he ate, which usually came before his runs. They didn't really talk much, sometimes. Elias figured Bo just wanted him to have company.

And it was friendly, at first. But it was starting to feel overbearing since it was happening every day, even if they didn't really talk about anything.

Elias avoided eye contact with Bo the whole night, figuring he'd sit wherever and let chance decide if anyone wanted to talk to him - because there was always someone.

But Elias didn't expect that someone to be Hendrik, who happily sat next to him on a log.

"Well, will you look at that. We're eating the same portions. Maybe if you start lifting, you'll be as strong as me," Hendrik bellowed with a playful slap on the back.

Ow.

"Yeah... maybe," Elias said, not even sure what to say to that.

"Say, maybe we could run together someday, hm? What do you think? You can train with ole Hendrik, like the good ole days."

Elias had to squint to remember what these "good ole days" were even about. He vaguely remembered a time when he would work out with James and Hendrik, lifting boulders and whatever other heavy objects they would find in the mines.

"No, I'm good," Elias said. "I'd rather train by myself. Thanks though."

Hendrik took a big spoonful of his food and studied him before speaking again. "Did anyone ask you to run? Is there a secret mission I don't know about?"

"What? No. I don't know anything about that," Elias said.

"You speak to Bo nearly every day, don't you?" Hendrik said suspiciously. "What for?"

Elias stared at him, growing weary and tired. "If you're that close to Bo, why don't you ask him yourself?" he said.

Hendrik scoffed, taking in another bite of food. The short silence felt way too long to be comfortable.

"Can't say that I'm not suspicious of you," he finally admitted. "We're not dense. You're acting different. I just want to know: why?"

Elias deeply sighed, looking up at the sky for inspiration.

"Yeah, I have a secret mission," he said dully, deciding to make things up. "I'm working as Bo's side-kick. I'm supposed to get big and strong, just like him. That's why I'm running and so serious now. I look up to you for inspiration as well. Sorry you didn't make the cut."

Elias didn't even bother looking at Hendrik for his reaction, but he could feel his anger boiling beside him.

"Hilarious, blondie," Hendrik said with a piercing glare. "Always making jokes, even during serious times."

"Oh, I'm so serious," Elias dead-panned.

"Are you even taking me seriously?" Hendrik asked, his voice growing louder.

Elias didn't even bother answering him, staring down into his soup, swirling his spoon around the rim of the bowl.

"Great. You're not even listening to me, are you? Do you ever listen?" Hendrik barked, but Elias ignored him again.

Elias was sure Hendrik said some other things, but at this point, he zoned him out, not really paying attention. He was too busy counting the peas in his soup, eating them one-by-one, slowly devouring the soup. Hendrik's voice disappeared, and it wasn't until minutes later that he noticed he wasn't even sitting next to him anymore.

Then Elias sensed a shadow being cast over him.

He slowly looked up. It was Bo.

"May I sit with you?" Bo asked.

"Sure," Elias said, although he didn't really want Bo to. But he also didn't want to fight it.

Bo didn't move to sit. He seemed to hesitate.

"If you want some space, you can tell me," Bo said more gently. "I'm not offended."

Elias sighed, letting his spoon drop in the bowl so he didn't have to move the vegetables around anymore. "It's fine, Bo," he said with a small smile. "You can sit."

Bo still didn't move. He smiled softly.

"You know, I think I might help Mel and Elise with cleanup," Bo said. "I'll catch you later."

And at that, he simply left.

That was... weird. But Elias didn't really think much about it, staring at the rest of his soup for a moment before setting it to his lips to quickly eat the rest of it.

He was going to have an early run today.

Avoiding Bo, Elias hurried to clean and put away his bowl before he quickly changed into his running shirt. He retied his boots and then walked towards the other side of the camp, readying himself. He could feel stares at him since Hendrik no doubt caused some sort of scene, but Elias ignored them, not listening if he was being called.

He was about to sprint ahead, but then realized he was passing the wagon, which was isolated from the rest of the camp. Elias hesitated, peeking inside. Evaline wasn't in there, which meant James was alone by himself.

Elias debated whether he should go inside or not. On one hand, it had been a while since he talked to James by himself. On the other... he was itching to run. Everything in him was begging for him to push himself to his limits again, and he didn't want to wait too much longer to start. But--

"...Is someone there?" James asked.

It took Elias to realize that he had been staring inside for several seconds now.

"Yeah, sorry. It's me. Elias," he said, then glanced back towards camp. "Are you by yourself?"

"Yeah," James said. "I am."

Elias took this as an invitation to come inside, hopping over the ledge and and walking in. It looked just like last time, except James seemed better. He was sitting up, leaning against the crate, eating his soup.

"Hey," Elias said as he slid down to the floor across from him, also leaning against a crate. "I feel like it's been a while since I talked to you."

"It does feel like it's been a while," James said. "It's been a little difficult for me to, uh... reconnect with everyone. I'm not very mobile yet."

"Yeah, I see that," Elias said as his eyes drifted up to his hair. "I like your haircut."

James tilted his head to the side, brushing the side of his head.

"Oh, yeah," James said. "That was Mel's doing. I feel less like a wild man, now."

Elias hummed, setting one knee up so he could set his elbow against it. "I guess it's hard to feel like a wild man when you're immobilized, huh?"

"I'm not sure what the prerequisites are for a 'wild man,' actually," James said. "But I feel less gross, to say the least."

"I think we're all a little gross. Personally, I sleep in filth every night," Elias said casually.

James huffed through his nose.

"Everyone is a little gross," James said. "I think that's part of the human condition. Some things are just unavoidable."

"What else is unavoidable?" Elias asked.

"You know... the body has to process food and fluids," James said.

"So... shitting," Elias deduced.

James huffed through his nose again, but Elias caught him cracking the briefest smile.

"Yes. Shitting. And all of the other fluids and oozes that come out of every orifice," James said.

Elias scrunched his face at that. "Yeah. You sure do have a way with words."

"So do you," James said.

"Nah," Elias said dismissively. "I think I shit out words in comparison."

James smirked again, but it still had yet to be a full smile.

"I'll add words to the list of things that ooze, then," James said.

"What else oozes?" Elias asked.

"From a person?" James asked. "Or are we broadening the subject to all things?"

"Uh, sure. Yeah, that," Elias said.

"Well, trees are known to ooze sap," James said. "And of course any sort of living creature in the mammal family has similar proclivities to oozing in ways we do. Different insects usually secrete different things in due season. Like the honey bee. And I suppose lava counts as its own kind of ooze coming out of the earth."

Elias hummed. He only really took in about half of what he said.

"You sure do know a lot about ooze," he said.

"The consequences of being well-read," James said. "I know many useless things."

"What are some other useless facts?" Elias asked.

"Well, if we're staying in tune with vaguely nature-related subjects," James said. "Did you know that camels have three sets of eyelids?"

"Can't say I do. I've never seen a camel before," he said.

"Maybe you'll see one when we pass through the Great Sands," James said. "They're typically used as beasts of burden, like a horse or a donkey. But anatomically they're really quite different. They have much flatter feet, a hump on their back, and a long swooping neck. I'm really not quite sure how to describe their face, but it really is unique. It's long, and their eyes are a little droopy, usually. They don't really have a mane, but they do have fur."

Elias nodded, not realizing he was only half paying attention until James finished talking. He was too busy trying to picture the camel in his mind, but it would have helped hearing the descriptions.

"You really think we'll see one?" he asked.

"If we go near the cities or roads, probably," James said. "But I'm not sure exactly what course they plan on taking us on. I can only assume they're aiming to avoid those as much as possible. But camels can be found in the wild, too, I suppose."

"Like in the forests?"

"They're more native to the desert," James said.

Elias hummed. "What about mountains?"

"They don't live in the mountains," James said. "But plenty of other creatures do."

"Do you know if we're passing any mountains?" Elias asked.

James hummed in thought, and closed his eyes. He looked like he could be meditating.

"Probably not until we get far north, into the wilds," James said. "We'll be passing through the desert for a while. No big mountains there, per-se. But there are other rock formations. Canyons, plateaus and the like."

"Well... I guess that's something. Maybe we'll see a camel on top of a canyon," Elias said, scratching at the floor with his forefinger.

James looked back at Elias with a small smirk.

"That sure would be something," he said. "Though I don't think camels are known to be the best of climbers. They're a little more gravity-bound."

"Who knows. Maybe they can learn," Elias said.

"If you had four legs and a hump on your back would you want to climb anything?" James asked.

Elias stopped scratching the floor, deep in thought as he briefly looked up at the open sky, thinking.

"I mean, hard to imagine that since I have two legs and no humps. But it can't be that different than me getting on my arms and legs and putting some weight on my back, right?" he said.

"Arms do function differently than legs," James said. "I don't think its directly comparable."

Elias held his hand out in front of it, inspecting his fingers. "If you think about it, hands and feet aren't that different... but toes are shorter."

James looked down at his own hands, idly tapping them on his leg.

"Similar," he said. "But different all the same. I wouldn't give someone a foot-shake. But a hand-shake, sure."

Elias dropped his hand, sighing. "Yeah. Walking on hands would be difficult."

"I've done it," James said. "But not for long periods of time. Too much blood rushes to your head after a while."

"Why'd you walk on your hands?" Elias asked.

"... I mean," James said. "It was just an exercise, I guess. I don't know. When you're a teenager sometimes you just try things for fun."

Elias nodded, thinking back and trying to remember if he ever did that. He felt like he did at one point, but he couldn't recall. It did make him wonder if he should try now, though. He had been so focused on running, he hadn't really done other exercises. Who knows, maybe he could run with his hands. That was a terrifying and silly thought.

Elias let his mind wander, not realizing that the silence stretched on until James talked again.

"I wish I could... join you," James said. "You know. Exercising together again. I enjoyed that."

"Oh... right." Elias glanced back at the opening of the wagon. He should probably start his run soon.

"It's just going to be a while before I can again," James said.

"And you should take your time with it," Elias said as he snapped back to reality with a small smile. "There's no rush. No need to push yourself."

James smiled back ever so slightly, but it was tight. He nodded.

"Well, when I am able to jump back into things," James said. "Hopefully I'll be able to keep up with you. Eventually."

"Yeah," Elias said with a small nod. "Yeah. We'll see."

James glanced up at the sky.

"You're probably going to go on your run, right?" James asked.

"Oh. Yeah. I was about to start but then passed by the wagon and saw you. Figured I'd say hi," Elias said.

"I appreciate it," James said.

Elias nodded, this time acutely aware that the silence between them felt long. Why did it begin to feel tense now?

"Well... I should probably get going," Elias said as he got to his feet. "But feel better, yeah? I'll swing by every once in a while."

"I'd like that," James said. "I'll see you later."

Elias gave him one last wave before hopping off the wagon, glancing at both directions before he quickly zipped away at the opposite side of the camp, starting his run.

He longed for this. Every thought melted away as he felt the runner's high return, the pain masked by the euphoria. Elias always wondered how far he could truly make it if he ran in one direction or ran without looking to see where he was going, but he instead kept his speed in a big circle around camp, circling back around when it was starting to get dark. He felt like he could push himself more, but he didn't. Not yet.

Maybe tomorrow.

Just like all the other nights, Elias stumbled into his bedroll - which was now always laid out for him, probably by Elise - and went straight to sleep.

It seemed that Mel giving James a haircut had started a trend, because after that, other people started to ask if she could give them a haircut too.

Well, okay. Maybe it didn't start right away.

"Come on, babe! Let me give you a fresh cut! Pleeeeeaaase? You'll look so good! You already look so good, but you'll look even better, which doesn't seem possible, but - you'll see!" Mel said with a bright smile as she playfully tugged on Jordan's arm in the morning.

Jordan laughed.

"Okay, okay, okay," he relented. "You can give me a haircut!"

After setting him up, Mel went on and on about possible cuts she could do, using her magic to go through her options. Unlike James, she only showed him serious haircuts she thought would look great on him. Since his hair was getting long, she had a fair amount of options to choose from. Well, that Jordan could choose from.

Jordan seemed open to a lot of the options, but the one he seemed to like the most was still a little longer, just shaped and trimmed, with a little swoop following his natural part.

Mel cheerfully hummed, tousling his long hair before combing it.

"So," she said casually. "We're going to New Haven soon. Are you excited?"

Of course, Mel talked to Jordan every day. But there was something about being behind a person and giving them a haircut that would inevitably boost their confidence that also boosted Mel's confidence.

They were getting serious... but Mel did wonder if this would last when they were no longer on the move and finally settled down in New Haven.

"I am," Jordan said. "It's been a while since I've been home, and as much as I like helping people out with all the rescue stuff, it's nice to sleep in a bed. Take a real shower. Feel comfortable. You know?"

"Definitely. I'm ready to wash away the stink!" Mel said with a laugh. "So you have a home there already?"

"A small place," Jordan said. "But it's mine, yeah."

Mel hummed, brushing his hair. "I can't wait to see what it's like. I wonder how you decorate. Why do I imagine it being bare bones?"

Jordan looked away, a little embarassed.

"Well... it's not completely bare bones," Jordan said. "It wouldn't be if I was home more often, honestly."

"Oh... yeah, that makes sense. Can't decorate much if you're not around to enjoy it, right?" Mel said with a sad smile. "But that'll change soon, won't it?"

"Yeah," Jordan said. "I've been doing rescue missions for almost four years now. I'm thinking it's about time for a change. I'd like to be able to actually live in my house, you know."

"So... you think you're going to settle down?" Mel asked.

Jordan glanced at her through the corner of his eyes.

"I'd like to, yeah," Jordan said.

That was good to know.

Mel paused, switching her brush for scissors so she could start cutting his hair.

"Is settling down something you're wanting to do?" Jordan asked. "Or do you see yourself on the road still?"

"Oh," Mel said with a little laugh, hand on her hip in thought for a second, but then thought better of it as she tousled his hair again. "I don't think I'll be on the road again. At least, not unless it's necessary, or I have a friend who's in grave danger again. I think it'd be nice to... you know. Live in a home again. Settle down, and all that. Especially if I'm around my friends and people close to me."

Jordan hummed softly.

"Yeah. That's how I feel too," Jordan said. "I want to be close to the people I care about."

"Hey, this means you have time to spruce up your home! Maybe we can go shopping together. Or - well, we'd have to make money first, I think. But that'd be fun, wouldn't it?" Mel said, making her first cuts.

Jordan smiled warmly.

"That would be fun," he said. "It would be fun to get to decorate together."

"I'd have to gauge what you already have, but I was thinking we could paint the walls a fun color. You know, make it really yours," she said.

"What about blue?" Jordan asked.

Mel smiled. "I like blue. Light or dark?"

"Light, I think. Dark might make it feel... well, you know. Dark inside," Jordan said.

"Or, consider: we paint the ceiling a sky blue then add clouds. Then it'll be like we're always outside."

"I'm not very artsy," Jordan said. "But I could do a base coat. Maybe you could do the clouds. You've got a better eye for that sort of thing."

A pause.

"Or maybe you could teach me how to paint clouds with you," Jordan said. "If it's not that hard."

Mel giggled. "Of course, silly! I'm not going to do this without you. I'm not an amazing painter but the important thing is that we have fun."

"Yeah," Jordan said with a big smile. "I think it'll be fun."

Mel beamed again, concentrating between cutting his hair, dreaming about their imaginary sky-painted home, and wondering about New Haven. The logical part of her won as she framed her next question.

"Do you have a job in New Haven?" she asked. "How do you normally spend your time?"

"Well, I do actually get paid for rescue work," Jordan said. "It's voluntary, sure, but it's an actual job."

"You're getting paid?" Mel spat out. "I didn't know that."

She certaintly wasn't getting paid, and she was sure the others weren't too. They were all practically penniless.

"I mean," Jordan said. "Most people don't get into it for the money. But when you join a rescue team you usually make a few years' commitment. You're not, like, locked into it, since it is a pretty intense job. But you do make good money because it's so intense."

Mel hummed. "Huh. I guess that means you're set for a while then right?"

"I'm well-off," Jordan said. "I'm not drowning in money, but yeah. I'm okay."

"That'll definitely buy you a few years to spend your time decorating and painting clouds," Mel said with a smile.

"Years?" Jordan laughed. "How long does it take to paint a ceiling?"

"Hey, who knows. Maybe I'll awaken a new passion in you and you'll become a painter," she said with a laugh.

Jordan huffed.

"I just might," he said.

Mel went on to brainstorm other random hobbies that he may take up, which included sports, swimming, gardening, and giving haircuts. She joked that he could cut her hair, but he sounded unsure, so she was glad that he didn't actually take her up on that.

It felt wrong to use this time to ask him more questions on the topic that had been dancing around: their future. She didn't think much more needed to be said. The both of them would settle down in New Haven, continue to get to know one another, and discover their paths.

It was a little scary, but it was also exciting. Mel was used to rushing from one relationship to another, but this felt... right. And she didn't really want to push it; she'd rather it come naturally.

By the time she finished, she let out another "ta-da!" and showed Jordan the finished cut. He seemed pleased with it and gave her a big hug, appreciating her work. Mel melted in the hug, and he even picked her up off the ground.

"Okay, okay, let me down!" she said with a laugh until he finally did.

Mel was in a good mood the rest of the day. Jordan wasn't flaunting his haircut, but he did flaunt her, making sure to mention that she was the one who gave him the haircut, and she did a great job.

That seemed to attract Hendrik's attention, because that evening, he also asked for a haircut and beard trim.

That surprised Mel, since he seemed to have a habit of doing it himself.

"You want me to give you a haircut?" she asked, surprised, but then grinned. "Sure! We can make that happen."

Hendrik briskly nodded. "Yes ma'am. Make me look less scruffy."

They sat in a corner away from the others as Mel got to work, once again using her magic to show him options. Hendrik was especially picky when it came to his style, so it took a while to find an option he liked. Turned out, Hendrik wanted the same style he'd been wearing for years - just trimmed and cut shorter.

In retrospect, this didn't surprise Mel, and she probably should have done this in the start. Still, she was half-hoping he'd try something new.

"So, what's new with you Hendrik?" she asked, brushing his hair.

Mel had given him haircuts in the past, a long time ago. Hendrik seemed to relax any time he did. Strangely, it was moments like this that she really got to know Hendrik.

"Oh, nothing new," he said casually with a sigh. "Boss man wasn't very happy with me yesterday. I'm under probation now."

Mel raised a brow. "Oh no. Why wasn't Bo very happy with you?" she asked, even though she already knew the answer.

It was hard to not ignore Hendrik's loud outbursts the other day in front of Elias.

Hendrik sighed again. "He said I was being too nosy. So it's my fault that I'm trying to care for blondie now, eh?"

"Well..." Mel squinted at his head, pausing to choose her words more carefully. "Is that what Bo said?"

"No. He said I was being too nosy," Hendrik said like it was obvious.

"Why does he say that?"

"Because I was yelling at him," Hendrik said.

"I mean, you can yell at people and not be nosy. Are you sure they're related?" she asked.

"Look. I see something suspicious, I say something. Blondie's going through a tough time. I get that. But if he keeps acting this way, he could become a liability. If someone needs help, they could get help. And I was trying to help."

Mel hummed as she moved on to cutting his hair. "Help comes in different forms, don't you think? Sometimes, people want to vent rather than ask for advice. And sometimes, people don't want help... especially if trust isn't established. Maybe Elias didn't want help."

Hendrik sighed defeatedly. Mel giggled.

"Hen, you can be soooo patronizing sometimes, you know that?" she said through the giggle, masking the seriousness of her words.

"Yeah, yeah. Save me the lecture," Hendrik replied curtly.

"Just saying. You don't have to insert yourself in every situation. Everyone's different. I think that's probably what Bo was saying."

Thankfully, Hendrik seemed to mull this over - although he didn't explicitly accept this. Mel knew him enough to know that he was at least thinking about it. For someone who claimed to be emotionally intelligent, Hendrik could be so dumb sometimes.

But that was what made him fun. At least, for her. She knew Elias was a different story, as well as anyone else who found him to be a little too much.

Mel changed the subject after that, keeping it light. She asked him about Bongo, praising him for leading her and the others to the group. She also about his other animals and routine, which seemed to get Hendrik talking, even as she moved on to trimming his beard.

It didn't take long for her to finish. By the end of it, Hendrik seemed pleased and grateful, giving her a forceful handshake. He seemed to be in a good mood afterwards, going back to Bo as if there was nothing that happened between them.

Mel hummed, wondering if she played a role in his behavior change. It was nice to help out in little ways like this.

And just like last time, the following morning, she got asked for another haircut.

Okay, alright. That was a stretch.

"Come on, Alistair. When's the last time you cut your hair? You're looking kind of scruffy!" Mel teased before they were on the move, reaching up to tousle his longer hair.

Alistair dipped away after a second, dismayed. "What's with you and giving haircuts now? Is this your new thing?"

"I like to give people confidence," Mel said it was obvious, twirling her hand in front of her.

"What, and you think I need confidence?" Alistair said, narrowing his eyes at her.

Mel groaned. "You're reading into this too much. I just like to cut hair. Pleeeease can I cut yours? It won't take long, I promise."

Alistair hesitated, glancing around the camp. "It won't take long?" he asked for confirmation.

Mel eagerly nodded. "Yeah! We'll be done before you know it."

Finally, he agreed and she sat him down at the edge of camp again. After letting him hold a mirror, she went through possible options. Alistair didn't have much of an opinion, but went through her ideas, thinking about which one to do. Mel could tell he was overwhelmed with indecision, so she gave her opinion, saying she liked the first one the most.

She ended up going quite a bit shorter than he had it at the moment. Alistair's hair had gotten so long, and he always had some swept in his face, making him look moody at all time. Mel decided to be kind and let him keep a lot of length in front, but she trimmed the back and sides to give him a more sleek look. After showing him what it looked like from all sides Alistair reluctantly agreed, and Mel happily went forward with it.

"I feel like it's been a while since we chatted," she said a few seconds into brushing his hair. "What's new with you, anyways?"

"Well, not much, since we've been reliving the same day for months now," Alistair said flatly.

"Sheesh, you are such a grump!" Mel said with a laugh. "Some things never change."

Alistair sighed. "Thanks."

"How's fire magic training going?" she asked.

"I'm not really training for anything," he said. "I use my magic when I should, though. And sometimes Clanny helps me."

Mel hummed. "Isn't that training?"

Alistair faltered. "Uh... well. I'd say it's more of a friendship between two fire mages. Wouldn't you use your magic more if there was another light mage around?"

"Fair point. But if there was another light mage around here, I'm sure we'd be the worst enemies," Mel said ominously, leaning in with a lower voice.

Alistair rolled his eyes. "Uh-huh."

"I'm glad you and Clanny are close, though," she said, leaving it at that.

"Yeah," Alistair said, not offering much more.

Mel didn't say anything for a few moments, cutting away.

"We're just friends," Alistair said flatly even though she didn't say anything.

"What? I didn't say anything," Mel said innocently.

"I know, but I can hear you thinking."

"Ooh, you can read minds now? What am I thinking?"

"That you think I'm hiding something when I'm not," Alistair said, still unamused.

"Me? Thinking Mister Grumpy Pants is hiding something? I would never!" Mel said innocently again.

Alistair groaned. "You know what. Never mind. Tell me about you then."

"Ooh, yes, gladly," Mel said in a chipper tone, humming. "Let's see..."

"You and Jordan are close," Alistair said when she trailed off from thinking.

"Well, yeah. We're dating, unlike you," Mel said.

Alistair leaned forward to faceplam himself.

"Hey, stop moving. You're going to mess up the haircut," Mel teased.

They conversation went on like this the whole time, the two of them bantering back and forth, with the conversation usually ending with Mel teasing him. Alistair always ended up groaning and giving up in the end, which only made things more fun for Mel. He was always so stubborn, but he never told her to leave him alone, so she figured he liked the attention - even if he never showed it.

Mel did have to work quickly since she did promise that the haircut wouldn't take long, but by the end of it, she let out another "ta-da!" and showed him the results.

Alistair didn't say anything for a while, staring at himself at different angles.

"Well?" Mel pressed. "What do you think?"

"It's..." He paused again, tilting his head to the other side. "Different. But - not bad. I like it. Thanks."

Mel beamed. That meant a lot since he didn't mask his words or intentions, so she'll take it. The crew was about to get moving, but Mel hiked with him for a bit before they parted ways.

Now that several people had a haircut now, that seemed to create enough buzz to really start the momentum for others to ask her. Before they started dinner, Clandestine went up to her to ask for a haircut as well.

Mel's eyes lit up. "Oh, yes! I'd like that! Let's go over here."

She led her to another corner, humming as she set up her tools.

"Are you looking for anything in particular? Any style or look you're going for?" she asked.

"Mostly my bangs are just really long, now," Clandestine said. "They're at this weird length, you know. They keep getting in my eyes but are too short to pull back. Could you trim them?"

"Totally. Long bangs are so annoying. I get that," Mel said with a nod.

"And maybe if you could just trim off some dead ends," Clandestine added. "That'd be good."

"Sure thing. Anything else? Sounds like you're wanting the same style, just trimmed up," Mel said.

"Yeah, I try to keep it simple," Clandestine said. "I don't have much time to take care of my hair anyway. I like to just be able to pull it back."

"I get that. We can totally do that. Mind if I pull out your hair tie?" Mel asked.

"Sure!"

Mel gave her a mirror anyways so she could see what she was working with, and at that, she pulled her hair tie away, tousling her long hair.

"Aw, Clanny, you look so good with long hair! I know you keep it simple, but you look so nice with it down too," Mel said brightly.

Clandestine blushed a little, looking down with a smile.

"Thanks, Mel," she said. "I do like to wear it down. It just... you know how it is out here. You just feel gross after a while."

"Yeah, I get that," Mel said as she combed through her hair. "Especially since you're a monster hunter, right?"

"Yeah, long hair gets in the way," she said. "But I don't think I have the heart to chop it all off. I don't want to look boyish."

"Well, you know what the world needs more of?" Mel asked with a smile, leaning in. "Fabulous monster hunters. I say you keep your long hair and look your best as you slay those monsters."

Clandestine laughed at that.

"They should put that in the monster hunter's manual. Must be fabulous, and also deadly," she said.

"Oh my gosh, yes. That's so you. But I'd also add the word fun in there," Mel said.

"Fun. Fabulous. Deadly," Clandestine said.

"I feel like there should be better alliteration," Mel mused.

"Fun. Fabulous. And, uh... fatal?"

"There you go. We have found our slogan," Mel said with a laugh.

Clandestine laughed with her.

"Okay, so that's my slogan. What's yours?" Clandestine asked.

"Ooh, good one. I'm thinking: cute, confident, and cunning," Mel said.

"That sounds perfect to me," Clandestine said with a little laugh. "It fits you."

"You think so? Maybe it's the light magic," Mel said with a laugh.

"You could probably put 'charismatic' in there if you wanted a fourth word," Clandestine offered. "Or 'charming.'"

Mel hummed. "I like that. And if you're looking for a fourth word, consider friendly. But that's too cliche, huh? Everyone is friendly."

"Not true," Clandestine said, lifting a pointed finger in protest. "I've met some very unfriendly people in my day."

"Oh? Do tell," Mel said as she finished combing her hair, moving on to cutting.

"I met this one fellow - real grizzled, big guy - he was really mean. He was a bit older, and sometimes I think when people get old they think it gives them a right to be mean and grumpy because they've been around for a long time. But I don't think so!" she said. "His name was Mr. Sam. He was known for two things: loitering, and muttering rude comments when he thought people weren't listening."

"Ew, he sounds like a creepy old guy," Mel said.

"I mean, I don't think age was the main thing that made him creepy," Clandestine said. "But yeah. He was kind of creepy. I always felt like he was looking through my skin, if you know what I mean. You know how some people look at you like that?"

Mel groaned. "Those people are the worst. How lonely and sad do you have to be?"

"Hopefully I won't end up like that when I'm old and grey," Clandestine said.

"Clanny, you would never!" Mel said with a laugh. "You're always going to be surrounded with people who are fun, fabulous, and fatal."

Clandestine looked like she was about to turn her head, but she stopped herself. Mel could still see the smile on the corners of her face.

"That's a good goal," Clandestine said. "I like that."

"Yeah? It's good to have life goals. You can add that to the mix. I'm sure you already have a lot, though," Mel said, still focusing on finishing up her trim.

"Do I seem like someone with a lot of goals?" Clandestine asked with a little laugh. "I didn't know I came off as that ambitious."

"Absolutely. I feel like you don't flaunt it, but I can see that you have your life put together, if that makes sense. You seem really grounded in that way."

"Huh," Clandestine said, sounding a bit surprised. "Thanks."

"Mind if you turn around? I'll work on your bang next," Mel said as she finished her last cut.

"Oh, yeah!" Clandestine said, flipping around with a smile.

Mel smiled back, combing through her bangs with her fingers.

"You don't sound so confident," she stated, referencing back to their conversation.

"Oh," Clandestine said weakly. "Well. I'm still, uh. Working on that bit, I guess. The confidence thing."

"Hey, that's another goal. And a good one too," Mel said with a bigger smile. "I think you're on the right path. Especially after I give you a fatal haircut."

"But also a fun and friendly one," Clandestine said.

"Obviously," Mel said with a laugh. "Do you think you're going to settle down in New Haven once we get there?"

"I don't know," Clandestine said. "I think... I think I'm going to keep at this for a while. I like helping people like this. It feels rewarding. And I'm good at it, too."

"You are! I keep telling others about how we fought at the palace. Well, you fought. And you were amazing!" Mel said.

Clandestine laughed a little.

"That was fun," she said. "In a, uh. Really intense way, I guess. I don't know. I guess I just feel like I'm in my element when I'm in the middle of the action. I guess that's why I felt so drawn to monster hunting in the first place."

"But there's also nothing wrong with taking time for yourself and relaxing in your own home if that's something you're interested in," Mel said. "We all need a break sometimes."

"I don't know if I really know what I'd even do," Clandestine said. "I think I'd get bored after a while."

"It's not what you'd do, silly. It's who you'd be with," Mel said with a smile, finishing her final cut so she could meet her eyes. "I know I'll be settling down there. So if you do decide to stay, even for a little while... well, you'll always have a friend who'd spend time with you even outside of haircuts!"

Clandestine smiled warmly.

"Thanks, Mel," she said. "We should keep in touch, yeah. That'd be good."

"Definitely. But also - I'm not going anywhere yet. So no need to worry about the future just yet," Mel said as she then tapped on her mirror she was loosely holding. "All done, by the way. What do you think?"

Clandestine looked at herself, and Mel watched with glee as Clandestine's whole face lit up, and she started playing with her own hair.

"Ohhhhh!" she said. "It's perfect!"

"I have one request," Mel said, still beaming. "One day, when it's not too dangerous - maybe put your hair down and feel the wind in your hair. You know, so you can feel extra fabulous."

Clandestine snorted.

"I'll add that to my list," she said.

Mel happily chatted with Clanny for some more, sitting next to each other and talking about life before Bo let everyone know that dinner was ready. Even then, she sat by Clandestine, Raj, and Alistair for dinner. Jordan joined as well, later. It was nice and amusing that they all hung out with one another and seemed to be in a good mood.

Mel told herself it was a coincidence, but it was totally because of the haircut. She took pride in it anyways.

The next day, Mel half-expected someone to ask for a haircut that morning since this seemed to be a reoccurring theme, but she didn't expect it to be Elias.

"Hey Mel. I've noticed that you're giving haircuts. Would you mind if you gave me one?" he asked out of the blue.

"Oh yeah, of course!" Mel said happily, once again leading him to a corner of the camp, setting up her tools as he sat down. "What do you have in mind?"

"Just something shorter," he said, giving her nothing else.

Mel held in a laugh. "Well, yeah, Elias. That's the premise of a haircut," she said, then allowed herself to giggle. "But do you have any specific haircut in mind?"

Elias paused, thinking for a moment, but then shook his head. "No. I trust your judgement. What do you think would look good?"

Mel hummed, settling into routine as she gave him the mirror. "What about this?" she asked, using her magic so Elias could see what she was thinking.

Elias's hair grew slowly, but he hadn't had a cut all year, so it was getting shaggy, growing past his ears. It had some length that she could work with, but she thought he looked better with a shorter cut, so she kept some length at the top while giving him a sleek fade at the bottom.

"Maybe this? But if you prefer--" she began.

"Yeah, this works," Elias said, but she knew he hardly even looked at it.

She faltered. "Are you sure? I can show you other options. Maybe something a little longer, if you're trying to grow your hair out."

Elias shook his head, setting the mirror down on his lap. "Nah, I'm happy with that option. Thanks anyways."

Mel shrugged. "Alright, sure thing," she said as she started to brush his hair.

She didn't speak right away, and the silence started to gnaw at her. She had been feeling this weird tension for a while with him, but she didn't really think it was in her place to get to the bottom of it.

But... well... she could pry. Just a little, to see if he'd open up.

"What's life like in the day of Elias?" she asked, starting off slow.

"Nothing much," he said, then paused. "My hair gets all sticky when it's long. So, I figured a haircut is due."

It took a moment for Mel to realize that Elias was referencing the sweat from sticking to his skin.

"Oh, right. Yeah, you're doing a fair bit of exercising, huh? Are you thinking of moving on to something other than running soon?" she asked.

"Yeah, I think so. I haven't figured what yet, though."

Mel hummed. "Maybe... push-ups? Pull-ups? Or... sit-ups? All the ups?"

"Hm. Maybe." Elias paused to think again. "Pull-ups could work."

Mel nodded, moving on to cut his hair. They both went back and forth about different exercises and possibilities he could get into. Mel learned that he had this weird fascination about climbing a mountain, and he wondered what desert mountains would be like. Honestly, she didn't completely follow his train of thought, but she learned to roll with it, not questioning it too much.

Another silence followed as Mel approached her last few minutes of the haircut.

"Hey, Elias," she said, steeling her nerves to approach a subject she knew would likely make him uncomfortable. But she'd rather she coax it out of him, gently. "I know you're going through a tough time. I just want you to know that I'm here for you. You know that, right? I'm still your friend."

She could feel Elias stiffen beneath her. He didn't say anything right away.

"I just thought I'd give you a reminder. There's a lot of noise every day, so I thought I'd let you know and make it clear," she said. "I care about you and I'm always happy to listen if you ever want to talk."

Elias didn't say anything again, but Mel let the short tense silence hang around them as she made her final cuts.

"Yeah... thanks Mel," he finally said in a low voice.

Mel wasn't really sure that he believed her or would even take her up on that, so she moved on before he could think even more deeply on it. She made her last cut, triumphantly saying her "ta-da!" as she encouraged him to look in the mirror.

Elias glanced at himself, tilting his head at different angles before nodding and standing up.

"Looks good. Thanks again," he said.

"Yeah!" she chirped, standing on her tip-toes to brush off some spare hairs that sat on his head. "I've never seen you with this look before. It's new, but refreshing! Hopefully it's less, uh... sticky."

Elias took his opportunity to scuffle his hair, which kind of messed up his natural part that she had brushed forward, but some other strands of hair fell down. In another context, she would have giggled thinking he looked like a dog, but laughing didn't feel right.

"Yeah, it sure will. Thanks," Elias said.

Mel wasn't sure if he realized he kept on repeatedly thanking her, but she decided to not question it, glancing between him and the camp. He seemed distracted playing with the shorter fade on his head, not paying attention to her.

"Well... I guess we can help the others get ready," Mel offered when it was clear that the conversation wasn't going anywhere.

"Oh, right. Yeah, good idea," Elias said, walking away without her.

Mel sighed. This felt familiar, and she wondered if she should worry about him again. But at the same time, she knew that Elias had his sister and other closer friends. It seemed that he was shutting her out, and there wasn't anything she could do about it.

It was a sad reality that Mel accepted long ago, though. She was glad to talk to others who cherished her and valued her time, but she was weary of those who took her for granted.

True to her optimism, Mel didn't think much of it, bouncing back to the others and having a good rest of the day. Her haircuts were really causing buzz now. She downplayed her skills, but definitely continued to enourage others to ask her for a haircut if they so desired.

That seemed to motivate Adina to ask, since she shyly went up to her that evening asking for a haircut.

Mel was beyond thrilled to cut Adina's hair. After all, she had curly hair just like her - and Mel didn't get as much practice with that. It was going to be a fun challenge, and hopefully boost Adina's confidence too. Mel understood how difficult curly hair could be and how much confidence it could bring with a hairstyle that best suited her.

"So what are you thinking?" Mel asked excitedly, buzzing with ideas as she gave Adina the mirror. "I can share some of my ideas, but I can definitely incorporate anything you have in mind."

"I'm thinking something a little shorter, maybe," Adina said. "I feel like my curls get lazy when its long, and it just looks sad. Maybe something with layers?"

"I know exactly what you mean!" Mel said with a huff, throwing her own hair back. "You should've seen me in the summer. My curls were all over the place with frizz and humidity."

"I know that pain," Adina said with a little laugh. "I kind of just give up on my hair looking nice in the summer. I don't know how to help it."

"It's so difficult when we're on the move. I think the best thing we can do is put it up and wait for summer to be over," Mel said with a laugh. "But I think shorter hair will help. Layers would be a good idea, I think. Shorter layers will help frame your face."

Mel hummed.

"What do you think about this?" she asked, working her magic on the mirror.

It was a shorter haircut, down to her shoulders. There were multiple layers with varying sizes, the shortest ones at the back of her head to give her more volume. There were also shorter layers around her face to frame it. It was overall a bouncy, curly haircut that focused on volume and shape.

Adina's eyes sparkled with delight.

"I'll never get over how cool your magic is," Adina said in awe.

"Aw. Yours is cool too! Rewinding time? Like, whaaat? If I mess up, you can just--" Mel snapped her fingers. "Undo it, just like that." She paused. "Not to say that I'll mess up your hair at all. But the concept of it is really neat."

Adina laughed airily.

"I don't like to use it for things like that, anyway," Adina said. "I don't know. It feels unfair, I think. If I just undid every little thing I didn't like, that wouldn't really be living, you know?"

"So true. So wise. I like how you think," Mel said with a smile, although it was starting to feel strained concentrating on the image in the mirror while holding a separate, entirely different conversation.

"I like the haircut, by the way," Adina said with a small smile. "The idea in the mirror, I mean."

"Perfect!" Mel chirped, her magic fading away as she moved on to brush her hair through her fingers, working through any knots. This haircut will take a fair bit of time, but she was happy to do it. "So, Adina, I can't believe we haven't really spent much time talking to one another one-on-one," she said. "But I'm glad we are now! I'd be interested in hearing more about your life, magic, and anything else you'd like to share."

And that was all it took, it seemed, for Adina to launch into a whole story - practically going back to childhood - telling Mel about her whole life. She grew up in a town near the desert with her family. Her mother was a mage but disappeared when she was young, and she lived with her father and brother for a bit until she was discovered as a mage and had to run away. Adina then proceeded to go into great detail about how she got caught soon after escaping town but was rescued by the other criminals she'd been kept with in her holding cell.

Almost ironically, one of them was James. Mel didn't know anything about this. Apparently James had a mustache at the time, which became a running joke in their little band of misfits. Adina said it was mostly a guy named Brett and a woman named Rosaleen who teased him about it, though. It sounded like it was a good time when they were together, but it didn't surprise Mel to hear that James and a few of the others eventually parted ways. Adina ended up with the group of mages they were in now, eventually.

She'd been stationed undercover in Ruddlan for a while until she met Eve. And then she joined her in their quest to find James.

Adina was really thorough about everything to the point that, by the time she got to the present, Mel was working through her last layer of hair.

"So that brings us to the present," Mel concluded. "What's the present Adina up to nowadays?"

Mel had learned to guide the conversation since it seemed that Adina took it upon herself to fill in the details. She was happy to listen though since she was genuinely curious.

"Well, I guess I'm just helping as we head to New Haven," Adina said. "I'm enjoying spending time with Eve a lot. Don't tell her I said this, but... she's kind of like the older sister I always wished I had."

"Awww, why don't you want to tell her that? I think she'd find it sweet!" Mel said.

Adina seemed embarrassed.

"I don't know if she'd find it weird," Adina said with a nervous laugh.

"Not at all," Mel said. "I think she might feel embarrassed, but not in the weird or ashamed kind of way. More like because she thinks it's sweet and thinks the same way, but is too embarrassed to admit it out loud to you."

Adina was quiet for a moment.

"I guess we're both too embarrassed to say so," she said.

"I think it makes sense, though. Obviously, you both share similar magic. And I think you both complement one another in personalities. She can be pretty serious and quiet sometimes, while you can be laid-back and encouraging. I think it's an interesting dynamic that definitely reminds me of sisterhood," Mel said.

"You think so?" Adina asked hopefully.

"I know so," Mel said with a big smile. "I've been friends with Eve for a loooong time. Trust me, if you tell her that you look up to her like a big sister, she'll cherish those words... probably forever, honestly."

"I guess... I'll have to work up the courage to tell her, then," Adina said softly.

"I believe in you!" Mel cheered on. "You know... I've seen you working up the courage to talk to Elias too. I know you have it in you."

Adina laughed nervously again at the mention of Elias, which only confirmed Mel's suspicions of them.

"Oh, well, thanks," she said.

Mel hummed, wondering how far she could tease her as she worked through her last layer more slowly now, invested. "Impressing anyone with a new haircut?" she asked casually.

"You already know who I want to impress," Adina said shyly.

Mel laughed, but she found herself no longer in the mood to tease her, feeling almost bad for Adina. She had a sinking feeling that she would only be sorely disappointed.

"Well, I hope it's you," Mel said cheerfully. "I think we should all look and feel our best for ourselves, regardless of what anyone thinks of us."

"You're right," Adina said quietly. "I do want to impress myself, too."

"And that's way more important," Mel added on.

"Yeah," Adina said with a small smile. "It is."

For a moment, Mel placed herself in her shoes - but she didn't have to try very hard since she had been in her shoes at one point. She wondered what she would tell her past self that she could also tell Adina.

"And whatever happens, just know that you are worth more than you think. You are valued and loved, but not everyone will make you feel like that, and that's outside of your control. I know you may already know this, but I thought I'd give a reminder anyways," Mel said with a gentle smile.

Adina's smile grew a little more, but Mel could see a sadness in her eyes. Adina wasn't very good at hiding her emotions.

"Thanks, Mel," she said.

"Of course!" Mel said, keeping her enthusiasm. "I know sometimes things don't feel like they're making sense, so if you ever need or want someone to help you figure things out, you're welcome to talk to me."

"I really appreciate that," Adina said. "I'll... probably take you up on that sometime."

"Yeah, no rush. We have plenty of time, anyways." She paused. "Say, what are your plans when we get to New Haven? Do you think you'll settle down?"

"Well... I have a few friends I want to catch up with," Adina said. "So we'll see. I'm not sure where they're at since I've been a little isolated being undercover and all. But I can't really go back to Ruddlan after this mess."

"Oh, I see... But Ruddlan was your home, wasn't it?" Mel asked.

"Sort of," She said. "Ruddlan was more of an assigned station than my home. I was running the safehouse there for a while. They'll have to find someone else to take over in my absence."

"Oh, okay. Where would you say is your home, then?" Mel asked.

Adina hesitated.

"I don't know, really," she said. "I guess it's... never really felt like a place. I just feel at home with my friends."

Mel hummed. "Will most of your friends be staying in New Haven?"

"A lot of them will be, yeah," she said.

"Well, if you're up for moving, I think this would be a perfect time to settle into a home," Mel said with a smile. "Do you see yourself settling down there?"

"I think I'd like to," Adina said. "It's just felt so strange... not having truly settled anywhere for certain since I was... 18?"

"I get that. Eventually you'll want to set your roots somewhere - unless you like to be on the road a lot, anyways," Mel said, finishing up her final cuts.

"I don't want to be on the road forever," Adina said. "It's been my life for a long time, but I don't want it to stay that way."

"Well, if you decide to settle down in New Haven, I'll be there. You're welcome to say hi any time, if not daily, then at least for a haircut," Mel said with a bright smile, watching the last bit of hair fall off. "Perfect timing, by the way. Just finished. Here, I'll hold this mirror up so you can see out of yours... What do you think?"

Adina's smile spread wide.

"Oh my gosh," she squealed. "I don't think my hair's looked this good since-- I don't think ever!"

"Oh, I'm sure that's not true! It doesn't look better. Just different, but in a good way," Mel said, grinning.

"I love it!" Adina squee'd anyway, spinning around to hug Mel tightly.

Mel laughed, hugging her back. It was moments like this that reminded her of why she enjoyed cutting friends' hair. Adina kept gushing about her hair, and Mel was happy to gush with her, offering tips and tricks to maintain it day-to-day. It was nice to share some of her knowledge with Adina, and she seemed to take it all in like a sponge.

They did part ways eventually, which only created more buzz since Adina's hair was quite shorter now. Mel overheard some comments, but mainly noted that Elias did notice, only saying, "I like your haircut," which seemed to be enough for Adina.

Mel knew that this was a path Adina wanted to take, but she did hope that any future heartache could be minimized. She really did mean it when she said that she could talk to her whenever she wanted, and luckily Adina seemed to take it to heart.

The next morning, another person asked for a haircut. This time, it was Bo, which delighted Mel.

"Do you have anything in mind?" Mel asked after getting into the rhythm of going to the edge of camp and setting her tools.

She really hoped that he wasn't going to say that he wanted to go bald.

"I think I want to try something new," Bo said with a small smile. "Just clean it up a bit, keep the length more on the top, I'm thinking."

"Oh yeah? I'm all for trying new styles," Mel said with a smile.

She ruffled with his hair a bit, which she was only able to do when she stood on a stool. Even when he sat, Bo was too tall for her to be comfortable.

"And my beard needs shaping. I don't really want it this big," Bo said with a chuckle. "I feel like it ages me."

He paused, humming in thought.

"You think I should shave it all off?" he asked.

Mel hummed, offering a mirror for him to take. "Well, why don't you look at your options and decide?" she said, trying to imagine Bo without a beard as she worked her magic. "Mirror mirror, not on the wall... who's the fairest of them all?" she joked.

At that, the hair reflected in the mirror changed shape to show what he wanted: his length mainly staying the same, but his hair overall being shapely and tidied up. Mel exerted more of her attention to his beard, which completely disappeared, leaving him clean-shaven.

She wasn't sure if she liked it, honestly. She kind of liked the grizzly facial hair, but she decided to keep her opinions to herself, letting Bo decide what he wanted.

Bo laughed loudly, his burst of laughter briefly disrupting her illusion.

"Gods, I lose 10 years," he said. "Okay. The beard stays."

Mel giggled. "Here's what you'd look like with it trimmed. I think the beard suits you too."

"That's better," Bo said with a nod. "Beard it is."

"Great!" Mel nodded, diving right in. She hummed, deciding to take her time with this since this wasn't going to take too long anyways, and, well... she hardly talked to Bo like this, so it was nice.

"So what's new with the boss man?" she asked as she first ruffled through his hair with her fingers.

"You're gonna call me that too, huh?" Bo said with a chuckle.

"What? I think it's fitting," she said with a giggle.

"The boss man isn't doing much that's new," Bo said in third-person. "You see what I'm up to every day, anyhow."

"Maybe so. But being the boss man can be kind of tiring, don't you think? Sometimes you need random moments like these, in which you wake up and say, 'You know what. I'm going to get a haircut.'"

Bo laughed through his nose.

"That's exactly what happened today," he said. "It's like you read my mind."

"Oh yeah?" Mel said with a giggle, reaching for a her comb even though there were no tangles in his hair. "You mean you didn't notice all the other fabulous people getting new hairstyles?"

"Word did get around," Bo said. "You have a reputation, now."

Mel hummed. "Never thought I'd be known as a hairdresser, but I'll take it. It's fun, anyways."

"Well, it's good that you like doing it," Bo said. "Otherwise I'd tell you you should probably stop offering people haircuts."

Mel laughed. "Don't worry, I mostly do things I enjoy anyways. Seeing my vision come to life through hair is fun, yeah, but I think my favorite part are people's reactions at the end. I love how even a simple cut can bring so much confidence."

"You are a natural encourager," Bo agreed. "It's nice to see you own it."

"Thanks! I try my best," Mel said with a big smile, moving on to her scissors. "What about you? Would you say you're a natural leader?"

"I don't know if I always was," Bo said. "But I think I've grown into it."

Mel hummed, slowly cutting away. "How so?"

"Sometimes in life you step up for what's needed even if it's not what you're best at," Bo said. "For me, it was much the same."

"That kind of..." Mel loosely laughed. "Well, just saying. That kinda sucks. It sounds like you were forced to be a leader since there wasn't much do an alternative."

"I wasn't forced," Bo said. "But no one else was stepping up. And I guess I just realized that sometimes in life, if you see a problem, you can't keep waiting for someone else to come around and fix it for you. Sometimes you have to be the person and respond to the problem that's in front of you."

"I can see that. Question is: are you always the person stepping up when no one else is?" she asked.

Bo grinned, though she was on his blind side, so he couldn't look at her.

"You sound so concerned," he said.

Mel laughed it off, shaking her head. "Eh. That's a harsh way of putting it, but I care about you, yeah."

"There's other people who stepped up," Bo said. "I'm just one of many. At least, I am now. Wasn't at first. I ended up paving the way for others who came after me when it came to rescue efforts."

"Fair enough," Mel said, then scrunched her nose. "I imagine Hendrik calling me 'boss lady' and it makes me go icckkk. Like, imagine your whole identity being centered around being a boss or a leader. That sounds so tiring. I'd go a little crazy."

"It kind of just comes with leadership," Bo said. "Most people who want to lead don't realize how hard it is. And those who do almost never want to lead."

"Yeah, but there's still so much more to life than that. Like, okay." Mel paused to think. "I can cut hair, right? That doesn't make me a hairdresser. I just do it for fun. And I'm a light mage, right? But I don't really make it my whole identity, because I didn't really have any say in that. But you know what I'd rather be known for? Being an encourager, like you said. That's me."

"Being a leader is what most people see me as," Bo said. "But I know it's not the whole of who I am."

Mel playfully hummed again, resuming her slow cuts.

"Now I feel silly because I don't think I've seen you outside of a leadership role. Unless you count me giving you a haircut now," she said with a little laugh.

"I don't know if the leader hat ever fully comes off once you put it on," Bo said. "At least, in the eyes of others."

"Lies," Mel said playfully. "Hats aren't permanent unless you glue them on."

"Are you accusing me of using glue?" Bo asked with a chuckle.

"I hope not!" Mel said with a laugh. "Especially since I'm touching your head."

"Maybe it's an invisible hat," Bo said.

Mel hummed. "Would I be able to feel it, though?"

"A magical invisible hat," Bo said with a silly grin.

"That sounds like the lamest hat in existence."

"Sometimes it can be fun to have things that only you know about," Bo said.

Mel hummed again. "Alright, I'll bite. What else is fun for you?"

"Well, I love to bake," Bo said. "And cook."

"Ooh, I didn't know that! We've been eating the same stuff every day, I almsot forgot what good food tastes like. You'll have to make something yummy soon," she said.

"Well, I'll have to cook you something when get to New Haven," Bo said.

At that, Mel made her final cut, tousling his hair again before deciding it was good enough. She picked up her stool to move to his other side so she could trim his beard.

"Yeah, that'd be great!" she said. "What's your favorite recipe?"

"Lately I've been trying to make every different kind of curry I can learn," Bo said. "I think my favorite is a version I learned from a cook in New Haven. It's a red curry recipe."

"Ooh, what's in it?" Mel asked as she set her equipment up, taking her time.

Mel honestly didn't know a lot of the spices and specific ingredients that he mentioned, but that was beside the point. She wanted Bo to talk about his passions, and he seemed happy to, going into meticulous detail about it. Mel listened intently, nodding and leaving small comments here and there as she slowly trimmed around his beard.

"Wow, that does sound pretty good. I hope it doesn't take too long to make. I'd like to try it someday. I'm sure it's delicious!" Mel said with a big smile.

"Don't worry about the time - the process is part of the joy of cooking," Bo said. "I'll have to invite a bunch of you over and I'll make you a feast. Curry included."

"That sounds soooo good. I can't wait! It sounds like there's a lot to look forward to in the city. But also--" Mel laughed, shaking her head. "Take a break, won't you? Maybe sleep for a whole day first. And then we can feast."

Bo laughed, but it looked restrained, since she was trimming his beard after all.

"Trust me," he said. "I'm sure I'll get a good cat nap in first."

Mel giggled. "You and me both. I can't wait to sleep it off and get a proper shower."

"You and me both."

At that, Mel finished her last cut, humming to herself as she tilted her head at different angles to see if she missed anything. Satisfied, she stood up and clapped her hands.

"All done! What do you think?" she asked.

Bo smiled as he looked into the mirror, and then he made a very silly pose, framing his chin with his forefinger and thumb as he winked at himself in the mirror. Mel giggled.

"I look sharp," he said. "Thanks, Mel."

"Yeah, no problem! You look great!" she said, pleased.

They chatted some more, but it didn't take long for Bo to catch up to the others since they were all getting ready to leave in the morning.

It was a good start of the day. Bo was fun to talk to, although he seemed kind of obsessed with taking charge of things. Oh well, at least he was aware of it - and good at it. Mel was happy to follow along.

Overall, it was a good last couple of days, and Mel was glad that she could use her skills to get closer to others and encourage them.

For months - or maybe, if he was being honest, it was years now - James's physical health had always felt relative. At any given point in time, he was always in pain. If it wasn't chronic pain (and he still didn't know how much of it was literal or psychological phantom pains), he was almost always wounded or healing in one way or another. It felt like his body was used to healing in cycles at this point. It had almost become a rhythm. He'd get hurt, get better, be better for a short time, and then... something always seemed to happen. He didn't know if this was fate, or if it was just the way things were, but this time, James felt more weary of the process than ever before.

It wasn't a selfish thing to want to feel normal, or at least functional again. But sometimes, it felt like too much to ask. Everyone had been hovering over him since his rescue, and he knew why. He wasn't doing well, and he'd been through enough that he could admit that. But he wished more than anything to be up on his feet, doing what everyone else was doing.

He longed to participate in the mundane. He wanted to do chores. He wanted to clean. To walk. To feed the horses. He wanted to help, but he felt so useless being bed-bound.

But he didn't really get a choice.

Well, he always had a choice. But any time he tried to get up he was hounded down by the doctors, or Eve, or literally anyone else and told to rest again.

He couldn't lie that he was in pain. And moving did hurt. Walking in particular was painful since he still had several still-healing lesions and abrasions. Arimala had also broken and re-broken his toes several times. Among... other things that he didn't want to think about.

So he was resting. Except that resting had only felt beneficial when he felt truly sick. Now that the lumshade was finally flushed out of his system and his appetite was getting back to normal, he was awake just as long as everyone else, just stationery most of the time. Mel (the doctor) and Elise would guide him through some exercises and let him move a little bit in the mornings, but even still, it was so, so painfully limited.

"I know this is tedious," Mel said. "But we can't risk anything reopening from strain."

James knew that if he'd only had, say, one wound, his life would be immesurably easier. He'd just have to focus on keeping one thing still. Instead, it was his whole body.

"You're making amazing progress," Elise said as encouragement. "Just stretch a little further. But if it hurts, please let us know, okay?"

James had been getting to know Dr. Mel more as she worked alongside Elise. The two of them were his main caretakers, at least, apart from Eve. They were the ones who took care of dressing and redressing everything. Which was admittedly a two-person job if they didn't want to take forever.

James was doing a simple stretch of his arm. One that normally wouldn't even cause strain.

But today, it hurt.

Well, it'd been hurting ever since the palace.

He forced himself to hold the position for just a little longer.

"Aaaand release," Mel instructed.

James put his arm down with a sigh, hating how he felt so exhausted after simply doing a bunch of stretches.

"That was good!" Elise said with a smile. "You're making progress."

Progress. Agonizingly slow progress.

"Do you need anything before we go?" Mel asked, looking to him expectantly.

James shook his head.

"Alright, well, we'll be heading out soon, so it won't be long before we're moving again," Mel said.

A pause. Elise and Mel had already crawled out of the wagon, but Mel looked at him curiously.

"Would you be up for meeting my brother?" Mel asked. "I know we've all been traveling together for a while, now. But I know you've been unwell for most of it, so you haven't really been properly introduced. I feel like it would be good to have a proper first meeting."

James hesitated for a moment. It wasn't like he had anything else to do, really. He was stuck where he was. And she was right. There were a lot of people he'd really only seen so far but hadn't even spoken to.

And they had gone all this way for him. He supposed he owed them this.

"Sure," James said with a faint smile.

"Great," Mel said, smiling back. "Just a second."

At that, Elise and Mel departed, but only a minute later, Mel returned with the man who was presumably her brother - and James did remember him from the other Mel's description.

"Raj," James said, looking at the man who stood a bit taller than his sister.

"And James," Raj said with a bow of his head. "Good to officially meet you."

James bowed his head in return.

"I understand you were instrumental in getting the rescue team under the palace," James said.

Raj smiled slightly, nodding his head.

"Yeah," he said. "That was me."

"Well," James said. "Thank you."

Raj and Mel exchanged the briefest of glances, and Raj looked back with a fuller smile.

"Yeah. You're welcome," he said. "I'm glad we got you out."

James blinked. He didn't know why he felt so awkward.

"Uh... me too," he said.

Raj laughed lightly.

"Well, it's good to see you're doing better, man," Raj said. "It was a little touch and go for a minute there. Keep hanging in there."

"...Thanks," James said. "I will."

At that, Raj gave a small nod of his head and parted ways. Mel followed after.

Well. Now he'd met him. Officially.

And it seemed that everyone else in the camp was eager to officially meet him too. Because later that day, when they stopped for their usual midday break, once Eve stepped out of the wagon to stretch and get some air, James found that unlike days previous, he wasn't left to himself.

The first person to pop their head in was Clandestine.

James - again - recognized her from Mel's visuals and descriptions. Clandestine seemed curious when she poked her head in, almost like she wasn't sure if he'd be in there. But her eyes lit up when they landed on him.

"Oh, hey," she said, smiling brightly. "You're the famous Mr. James everyone's talking about."

"Everyone's talking about me?" James asked with a raised brow.

Clandestine laughed lightly, crawling up into the wagon.

"Oh, no, I mean, no more than I guess is normal? What is normal, anyway?" she asked. He assumed it was hypothetical.

"You do prefer James, right? I guess I don't really know your other names except Tiberius. James is the real one, right?" Clandestine asked.

"That's right," James answered as she sat cross-legged near his feet.

"You can call me Clanny if you want," Clandestine offered. "It's a nickname a lot of people use."

"Okay," James said slowly. "Do you... like being called Clanny?"

"I guess I don't really mind either way," Clandestine said. "I just don't like Clan, Clammy, Clampy, Clunky, or any other weird variations of my name."

James nodded.

"Noted."

There was a beat of silence, but James had a feeling Clandestine was going to fill it.

"I don't know how much anyone's told you about me," Clandestine said. "But I thought I'd just, you know, introduce myself and all. If we're talking titles, I guess I'm a monster hunter first, by trade, but I'm also a fire mage. Though, I don't do as much of the monster hunting thing anymore. It's kind of sad. They don't hire monster hunters who are mages - but I think that's a crime! I would be such a good hunter with my magic too, you know?"

James didn't disagree. She was right.

"I'm sure much of society could be greatly improved by welcoming mages and magic back in," James offered.

"See! That's what I'm saying," Clandestine said, gesturing to him like his simple comment was some sort of vindication for an argument neither of them had been a part of. Though maybe she had been a part of one prior. He didn't know.

"And I guess, well, you're in a bit of a transitional stage, so you don't really have to tell me your titles, I guess," Clandestine said. "Sorry, I don't know why I even said that."

"You're assuming I'm unemployed?" James asked with a raised brow, amused.

"Well. You are," Clandestine said. "Aren't you? What, do you have a secret side-hustle?"

James smirked, letting out a small laugh through his nose.

"No. Unless that side-hustle is sleeping," he said.

"Gods, I wish that could be a real side-hustle," Clandestine said dramatically. "I would sleep so much. It would be great. I love sleeping. Imagine getting paid to rest?"

James really couldn't imagine it.

"I'm not sure how that would work," he said. "But it would be... something."

"Something I could really get behind," Clandestine said, like she was finishing the thought for him. She pointed at him, waggling her finger.

"You know," she went on. "I think we're on to something. Paying people to rest. For the money-motivated folks. That could actually work. I wonder if you could pay someone to fall asleep on the spot. There could be sleeping competitions, even."

"How would you even measure who wins?" James asked.

"Maybe whoever sleeps the longest?" Clandestine mused, looking up into the sky. "Anyways. Next time I take a nap, it's during work hours! I'm getting paiiiiiiiiid."

She grinned mischievously, rubbing her hands together while she laughed lightly. Then she dropped the little act and looked back at him.

"So. Are you getting bored out here in your wagon home?" Clandestine asked.

It didn't make sense to answer dishonestly.

"Admittedly so," he said.

"Yeah, I'd probably go crazy too," Clandestine said. "Can't stay still for too long. I get the zoomies."

James tilted his head, and she seemed to catch the question before he even asked.

"You know, when dogs or cats just randomly get a burst of energy and they gotta go?" Clandestine asked.

"I... yeah," James said.

"Sometimes I just gotta go," Clandestine said plainly. "Well. Not-- you know. Running around. Not to the bathroom. I realized too late that had a double meaning."

James huffed through his nose again.

"But most of the time I feel like I'm pretty mellow," Clandestine said. "I'm always like, ready to chat but I can also relax, you know?"

She paused.

"Just not for too long because zoomies," she said quickly, and then clapped her hands together.

"Anyways! That was a bunch of random information about me that I didn't plan on sharing," she said. "But uh. Quick. Tell me a random fact about yourself."

James blinked, staring at her as his mind went blank the moment she asked.

"Uh..."

"Can you sing?" Clandestine blurted.

"I... guess?" James said.

Clandestine opened her mouth, then closed it, then opened it again.

Even though she clearly swallowed back what she was going to say, James couldn't help but feel like she was tempted to ask him something to the tune of: can you prove it?

Instead, she said: "I'm not much of a singer," she said. "Always wished I could be though. I just don't have a good singing voice. It's good for shouting, though!"

A beat.

"I won't do that to you, though," Clandestine said, starting to crawl out of the wagon. "I can tell you like quiet. Quiet man. Quiet feel. Yes, yes."

When she hit the ground she looked back into the wagon.

"You seem nice," she said, and then she looked off to the side for a moment, like she was pondering something.

"You know. It's weird. I know we just met," she said. "But it kind of feels like I already know you or something. Is that weird to say?"

Normally, it would be weird to say. But for some reason, James couldn't shake the same feeling. Though they were strangers, there was something about Clandestine that felt... unshakably familiar.

He just couldn't put his finger on it.

"...No," he said quietly.

"Hm," Clandestine grinned. "Well then. I'll see you around, James."

And at that, she skipped away.

James felt like he had maybe a minute of staring off into space in silence before the entrance at the back of the wagon was filled again. But this time, it was by Jordan.

For a moment, James found himself staring at him. He didn't even really realize he was staring until Jordan started looking off to the side, somewhere, like he wasn't even sure if James was awake or present.

"Oh. Hi," James said, meeting Jordan's eyes.

"Hey," Jordan said. "It's uh... well, I don't know if you even remember--"

"I do," James said, but realized he'd said it too quickly and accidentally cut Jordan off.

Jordan laughed awkwardly.

"Ah. Well. I'm sorry about... all that," Jordan said, rubbing the back of his neck. "It's been a good, what, five years? But yeah, sorry for how I acted back then. I wasn't very, uh, sensitive, you know."

James found himself struggling to come up with a response. There was a painful delay until he thought of the obvious.

"It's fine," he said. "Don't worry about it."

It sounded like both of them were aching to leave it in the past. James was, especially.

"Thanks," Jordan said.

Another bout of silence. James could sense that Jordan didn't really know what to say. The problem was, James didn't either.

"How did you end up here?" James asked. "With... Bo and his rescue team."

"Oh!" Jordan said - and James could tell he was relieved for the silence to be broken. "Yeah. So, uh, not long after you and Eve passed through our camp, we ended up getting connected with them, actually. A lot of them went off to New Haven to start a new life. You know, uh, Leah? If you remember she was just a baby. She's almost seven now! It's kind of crazy to think about."

There was a significant delay in James's mind and emotions as he took that information in.

Soon after we left, he thought, they found safety. If James and Eve had only stayed...

James had to shake the thought. No. The past was the past. It couldn't be undone.

"So much time has passed," James commented. "I assume the others are well off as well?"

"Oh, yeah," Jordan said. "I don't know how much you remember everybody, but Bethany got adopted, and Odeta actually found her biological Aunt who took her in. Elrick and Maisy adopted Masil and Redwen, if you remember them. So Leah has two siblings now. At least, officially. And Nathan got settled into a clinic. He's a nurse there, now. And uh, Raya and I both decided we wanted to use our skills to help out other mages for a while. So we've been doing rescue teams for a few years. Maybe you remember Raya - she was a little grumpy then. Still a little grumpy now, but softened a little bit. She went back with uh -- Finn, Rudy, and a gal named Dinny. Who you didn't meet. But, yeah. She left to help get them to New Haven like, two months ago, now. So they're already there."

James hummed. It was... nice. Hearing how they all were cared for. Even though he barely knew them, it was good to hear that they'd been able to find somewhere safe and stable to carry on normal lives again. Especially for Elrick and Maisy with their kids.

"It sounds like New Haven is a place for a lot of people to start over," James said.

"Why do you think it's named New Haven?" Jordan asked with a weak laugh. "It's a safe haven. And it's new."

James already understood that, but. He forced a small smile.

"It's a good thing we're going there, then," James said, already feeling at a loss for where to direct the conversation from here.

Thankfully, Jordan didn't seem eager to stick around.

"Totally," Jordan said. "I'm sure you'll love it. It's a huge city. Lots of things to do there. Places to explore. People to meet. It's pretty impossible to get bored."

Hm. James had a feeling it would be possible for someone bedridden. Though he hoped he wouldn't be so when they finally got there.

"Sounds nice," James offered.

"Right," Jordan said.

And another awkward lull ensued. But Jordan cut it short.

"Ah. I think we're going to get going soon," Jordan said. "I should probably grab my things. Good talking to you!"

"Mmhmm," James hummed, watching as Jordan hardly even waited to hear James's response. He was already gone.

Somehow, after Jordan was gone, James felt exhausted. Maybe it was the mild physical therapy catching up to him as well. He didn't know. But before he knew it, he felt his eyelids getting heavy.

Jordan had said they were moving soon, but James fell asleep before he even felt the wagon rock again.

A new routine was starting to form. James would wake up. Mel and Elise would check on him, change his bandages, and help him with stretches and simple exercises to keep and rebuild mobility and strength. Eve would bring him breakfast. They would eat. He would braid her hair. She would brush his. The traveling caravan would start moving, and Eve stopped sitting in the wagon with him, opting instead to ride Elliot beside it. They would still talk, sometimes, and whenever they paused or rode slowly, sometimes Elliot would dip his head over the side, seeking James's attention. James was always happy to give it, even if he didn't have much energy to offer behind it.

For a few days, Eve would stick beside the wagon like glue. But after James encouraged her to ride around alongside her friends, she started to migrate around, traveling beside others throughout the day before she inevitably drifted back to him by the end of it.

Elias was becoming a more frequent companion, as he would usually end up following behind the wagon on foot. He only seemed to come by when Eve wasn't there, but the two of them would talk. Usually about nothing. But James didn't really mind the nothing conversations.

Elias was funny, and he appreciated his company. He knew there were hundreds of things neither of them were saying. But he wasn't ready to open his can of worms, so he wasn't going to pry Elias's open either.

So they talked more about ooze. And camels. And running. And everything else under the sun. But never Tula. Never Rita. Never the palace.

James felt himself growing more and more restless with each passing day. Even though he wasn't an exceptionally social person by nature, he found himself relieved any time someone would engage him in conversation - not because he ever felt equipped to talk, but because at least he had something to distract him. Not just from the physical pain. But from everything else that kept swimming in the back of his mind.

One day Adina rode on the wagon with him. It felt like it was the first time they'd actually interacted, just the two of them, since the rescue.

For a few minutes, they sat in silence as the wagon got moving and everyone drifted into their own place in line. James noticed Eve pulled away, probably to give them a small sense of privacy.

"So... it's been a while," Adina said, leaning against the large crate behind them.

"Some years," James said idly.

"Yeah. Some years," Adina echoed, and was quiet for a moment as she looked at their feet.

The two of them sat side-by-side in the wagon, each with their backs to the same large crate, legs stretched out, parallel to each other. Adina tapped her boots together.

"You think you'd ever go back to having a mustache?" Adina asked with a grin.

James let out a weak laugh.

"After how much I got teased for it?" James said. "Please. I hardly have any ego left. I have to hold on to what I have."

"What's an ego good for, anyway?" Adina teased.

"Keeps me from doing things like shaving my head again," James said. "Or wearing stripes and patterns together."

"That would be pretty scary," Adina said. "Although, you kind of did shave your head. Like, half of it."

"But not all of it," James said.

"Does your head get cold?" Adina asked.

"A little," James said. "But not so much if I wear my hair down."

Adina hummed. "Would you ever dye it?"

James looked to the side. "I don't know. I don't think I really have any reason to..."

"What about purple?" Adina asked.

And at that, James looked back at her with a knowing smirk. But it faded as quick as it came.

"...Have you heard from Rosaleen?" James asked quietly.

Adina looked down.

"No," she said.

And the two of them shared a somber silence. James didn't know how much hope Adina had for Rosaleen's future. But James had long since considered the grim reality that she was caught a long time ago. Rosaleen's journey had always been one of vengeance to clear her name, but he felt that they both knew in their guts it would only happen by way of a miracle.

And James didn't have much hope for miracles. Maybe he should've, considering everything he'd seen - other worlds, other magic. But even still--

"Brett and Ari are doing well, though," Adina said. "I mean, I haven't heard from them super recently. But last I heard they've been well. Brett's enjoying life as an uncle on his brother's ship. And he and Ari were finally able to pay penance through the legal system and they're living free, now. Sailing the isles, and all."

That, at least, gave James some peace.

"I still don't know about Kaia, though," Adina said. "She's a little like you, in a way. Or... was. Even when she was with me, she didn't really feel settled in one place."

Adina started playing with the fringe of her sweater, staring down at it.

"Maybe she just didn't feel as at home with me and the mages," Adina said. "I think she might've been a great ally, if she'd chosen to stay. She'd probably be great at all the rescue missions, and stuff. But I think she still felt a little lost."

Adina glanced back up at James.

"I wonder if she'd still be willing to follow you into battle against the kingdom," Adina said. "I feel like you're the only one she would."

James glanced at her.

"I hope not," he said.

"Hope not what?" Adina asked.

"That I'm the only one," James said.

"Oh. I thought you were talking about, like, the possibility of war or something," Adina said quietly.

That wasn't even something James was considering. But the fact that Adina mentioned it made him wonder.

Was that what all of this was unto? The rescues. The secret city. The underground bases. The whole network of communication.

"I don't know about that," James decided to say. Adina wasn't the person to pry about those topics anyway.

Adina hummed.

"Me neither," she said, tapping her feet again.

"So... you were in Ruddlan," James said.

"Hm? Oh. Yeah," Adina said. "I ran a safehouse for mages seeking temporary shelter. It was kind of a half-way spot. So people were coming in and out all the time. Sneaking in and out in the night, usually. I just kept the place up tidy and stocked, hosted when people came. Made sure nosy folks didn't find anything. That sort of thing."

"Sounds like it was an important role," James said.

"I guess so," Adina said. "I can't say I'm too upset that I'm leaving it, though. I'd like to go back to more community. With people who know the whole of me. Not just the polite neighbor who was nice and baked them things."

She sighed.

"It's hard knowing your neighbors would probably turn you in, no matter how nice you are," Adina said quietly. "I mean, I know they'd be torn up about it. But they probably still would've. It's just not something I'm willing to test."

There was a small pause, but James could sense that Adina was deep in thought. So he waited.

"I guess... sometimes I wonder if I was in their shoes," she said. "If I'd be willing to risk it all, you know. Willing to shelter a mage or hide a mage at risk of my own life. If I wasn't one. If I actually had the option for life to be easier... would I take it?"

She fiddled with her sweater more, playing with a loose thread.

"That's what my dad and brother ended up doing," she said quietly. "I had to leave, because I was putting them in danger. But they weren't willing to be in danger for me."

James understood that she probably wasn't sharing this in search of advice. But he empathized deeply with that pain. He knew what it felt like to know that if someone knew who you really were, they wouldn't want you to stay. That was his whole life ever since he was wanted.

"It's weird but," Adina said. "I never really thought about it until recently. I just always assumed there was no other way. I had to go. That's just how it went. I never once considered my family could've escaped with me, you know? They could've. But they just didn't."

Adina swallowed. James could tell her eyes were getting misty.

"Oh, what am I even talking about?" Adina whispered, reaching up to wipe her eyes prematurely. "It's not like I'll ever see them again."

And that was another pain James knew all too well.

He couldn't help but wonder... his family hadn't even known that in the span of a week, he'd been in King's Peak, tortured, and rescued out of it.

He didn't even know where they were in King's Peak, or if they were still there. They could've moved, for all he knew.

If anyone knew where his real family was, it was Carter. Carter was the only one who knew about his real family.

Well... that wasn't true. Carter's parents also knew.

Would James's family be okay now that Carter was gone? Had they ever been okay ever since James was on the run?

There were questions James never truly had an answer to.

But this conversation wasn't about his family. It was about Adina's.

James reached around her shoulders, hugging her lightly.

"It's okay to talk about it," he said softly.

Permission, it seemed, was all Adina needed to cry. Tears started bubbling up, and she was quick to try to wipe them away.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I don't know how I ended up talking about this. I didn't mean to make it all so sad."

James lightly patted her shoulder, still hugging her as she began to cry softly.

"It's okay, Adina," James said.

He thought, for a moment, of all the things he could say to comfort her. He could tell her she wasn't alone. She had family now, found in the ones around her. In Eve. In James. In her friends. It was never a replacement for her father and her brother, but she wasn't without love or support.

Somehow, though, James felt like Adina knew all of that already. She probably told herself that all the time.

She just needed to feel it. And that was okay.

He waited for her to finish crying, letting her let it out until her cries turned to sniffles.

"Have you been doing alright?" James asked.

It was a broad question. But he meant it broadly. He was referring to everything. The last few years. The last few months. The last few weeks.

Adina nodded slightly.

"I'm alright," she said. "I mean, all things considered. I should be asking you if you're okay."

James would really rather she didn't. But he realized... he didn't think anyone had really asked. Maybe everyone had just assumed the answer couldn't be good. Or maybe it was just because he'd been out for over a week, too sick to even converse.

"I'm alright," James said softly. "Just eager to be all healed up is all."

At that, Adina seemed to ease back into conversation. James steered it away from talking about him as much. He was happy to hear about her.

She ended up catching him up on her last few years in more detail. He told he a little bit of what happened on his end, but it was admittedly far more vague. Adina didn't seem to press, though. James had a feeling she was wary of doing so. No one really said it, but he had a feeling everyone was being careful around him, like they were afraid something might set him off.

It probably didn't help that he'd been so emotional the first day before he got too sick to do anything. And everyone probably heard him waking up in the middle of the night from all of his nightmares...

Because they kept coming back, even if he couldn't remember them in detail by the time he woke up. He knew the memories lived on in his dreams, when he wasn't awake enough to suppress them.

He knew it was impossible... but he just wished he could forget it all. He was beginning to understand Eve, and why some things were just too painful to remember.

Adina filled the rest of their time with stories. They reminisced a lot on their time together all those years ago, but Adina did most of the reminiscing. She seemed to remember a few things James didn't, and it was interesting to hear everything from her perspective. It felt like she painted the experience a little more romantic than it was. James remembered it being very difficult and tense much of the time, but perhaps that was because a lot of the conflict had then centered around him and Rosaleen before hunters had come for Adina.

But it seemed they both landed on the same sentiment: they were glad she was here. And she was glad they got to meet again, despite the surrounding circumstances that made it possible.

He supposed Adina was one of the good things to come out of all of this. He had to keep looking for the good.

Eventually, at their next stop, Adina hopped out of the wagon to stretch her legs, opting to walk for the next stretch of travel. Eve ate with him, James got to see Elliot again, and the break was short. They were back on the road again.

James found himself drifting off, somewhere between sleeping and being awake. Maybe he was just "spacing out," as others described it.

Regardless, when evening came, it felt like it'd simultaneously been an eternity and no time at all.

They'd stopped, and dinner was being made. In the meanttime, James was merely sitting in the wagon, thinking of what he'd give to walk around.

Instead, he got another visitor. Hendrik came into view looking like he was going to invite himself in, but held reservations. Nonetheless, he seemed eager and in a good mood.

Maybe word was getting around that he was feeling better. It seemed that everyone... missed him. Or something.

"Speedy! Just the man I wanted to see. You awake in there?" Hendrik asked at the opening of the wagon.

James met Hendrik's eyes, thinking the answer was obvious. But when there was a second of hesitation, he answered.

"Yeah," he said. "I'm up."

"Never know these days," he said as he took a heavy step in the wagon, settling into a comfortable spot on a crate across from him. "You sleep with your eyes open, after all."

James had to think for a minute. Did he sleep with his eyes open? Sure, maybe he did metaphorically. Or was Hendrik just making a joke? Hendrik seemed to be deadly serious, though.

"Ah," James said. "Well. Uh. Sorry if that... is creepy."

That would explain why his eyes were dry when he woke up a lot of the time.

"Not at all. At least, not anymore. Comes with being the most wanted man on Nye, eh? How's it feel to be so popular?" Hendrik said with a smirk.

James didn't know if he should give the honest answer.

"I've never really wanted to be the center of attention," James said.

"Should have thought of that before you destroyed the documents and became a hardened criminal," Hendrik said with an amused chuckle.

James forced a weak laugh.

"Yeah," he said. "I should've."

"Speaking of, how was your time at the palace?" Hendrik asked, now cutting straight to the chase.

James stared at Hendrik for a moment. It took him a second to realize that was a real question, and Hendrik wasn't just making light small-talk, even though he asked it like it was.

James's response was delayed.

"I probably wouldn't visit again," James said just as straight-facedly.

Hendrik loudly chuckled again. "Don't think that's possible, anyways. We had to bust our asses to save yours."

"Right," James said. "It's for the best then that we leave it behind us."

Hendrik nodded. "Is that how you feel?"

James didn't know what Hendrik was digging for, but he didn't really want to let him.

"Yes," he said.

"Well, you're not alone. Getting cooped up in this wagon all day can feel isolating. You have to have an outlet. So if there's anything you want to share, I'm all ears," Hendrik said with a wave of his hand.

James hesitated.

It wasn't that he didn't appreciate Hendrik's offer. He was trying, and James saw that. But James also wasn't even remotely ready to have this kind of conversation - with Hendrik, of all people, no less.

"Thanks," James said quietly. "I don't think I have much to say at the moment."

And that, at least was true. James didn't know how to put anything into words. Everything felt like a tangled mess in his head.

"You sure about that? You always have words swirling around in that big head of yours. Surely there's something," Hendrik said.

Now Hendrik was just fishing. James knew it wasn't Hendrik's intention to be pushy and nosy, but he had a habit of trying to trespass into territory where he hadn't already put in the work. Conversations like this came after a lot of tilling the soil. Frankly, he and Hendrik weren't that close. Not like that.

"I'm sure there is," James said. "But I haven't been able to order them."

He had a feeling he was going to have to push back stronger. But he wanted to see if Hendrik would back off on his own first.

Hendrik hummed. "Have you tried journaling? It could help to write out your thoughts with no expectations."

James stared out past them for a moment.

"I haven't really thought about doing that," he said.

Honestly, he'd forgotten that as an option. Writing hadn't really been on his mind. Did he even still have his journal? Did Eve?

"Why don't you give it a try? And if you still can't think of anything, maybe you can write another fictional story. Then tell me again, of course."

"I'll... see about that," James said.

"Let me know how that goes," Hendrik said.

Thankfully, this seemed to appease Hendrik since he changed the topic after that.

"Elliot's been doing well. I think he misses you. You'll have to get better so you can give your boy a good run," Hendrik said.

"That would be nice," James said. "I do miss riding."

"Elliot's been getting along with the other horses too. Bongo seems to take a liking to him as well. Elliot is a very social animal," Hendrik continued. "But you know who misses you the most? Sleepy. She's been in my care the whole time. Sometimes Maks or blondie takes care her, though. The docs say I shouldn't leave her in the wagon with you, although I can't fathom why. Think you're going to get the chicken flu?"

"I don't think I'm quite as immunocompromised anymore," James said. "But I can see why they might've been concerned about that earlier. Chickens aren't exactly the cleanest creatures."

"So - what are you saying? Can you handle her now?" Hendrik asked.

"I don't know if I could keep her for long, but..." James said with a small smile. He knew that Elise and Mel wouldn't allow Sleepy to stay in the wagon the moment they discovered her. But they didn't need to know until the morning.

Hendrik grinned, already on his way out of the wagon. "Be right back."

A few minutes passed where James was left alone. Faintly, he could catch the smell of what he assumed was dinner wafting in the air. It smelled like meat. Maybe they'd caught something.

He didn't wait for long, though. Hendrik came back with a big lump under his jacket, making it look like his stomach was protruding. James could only assume that was the chicken, hidden from sight.

Apparently, Hendrik was under the same impression that if either Elise or Mel saw they'd stop him. Somehow, James was surprised they didn't see the obvious bulge in his jacket and put two and two together. Maybe they'd just been distracted.

"Managed to sneak her in here for you," Hendrik said proudly, even though that was already obvious. "She already seems happy to be here."

At that, Hendrik hopped back in and opened his jacket, and Sleepy flopped out with a flutter of her wings, managing to land on her feet. At the sight of James, she eagerly waddled over to him, ruffling her feathers before she immediately hopped into James's lap.

Logically, James knew Sleepy was just a chicken. But for some reason the moment she snuggled into his lap he felt indescribably happy.

James gently pet her head, and Sleepy closed her eyes, already looking relaxed and at peace.

"Best gift I've ever gave you," Hendrik said with a grin. "Look at you. You're perfect for each other."

James looked back up at Hendrik, huffing through his nose.

"Thanks, Hendrik," he said.

"Of course. I'll happily sneak more chickens in your life," Hendrik said, still grinning.

"That's a very odd and specific favor," James said. "But I appreciate it."

"Having a loving animal nearby will help you feel better. Maybe those words will come swirling back in your head now," he said.

"Hah," James laughed weakly, looking down at Sleepy, continuing to pet her. "Maybe."

Hendrik looked like he was about to say something else, but was interrupted by Bo's voice carrying over to them.

"Dinner's ready!" Bo called out.

"Ah, boss man calling out to me. Music to my ears," Hendrik said. "Want me to get you your food?"

"Eve's probably got it," James said. "But thanks."

"Suit yourself." At that, Hendrik stepped back out of the cart, but then turned back around with one last salute as his way to wave. "Don't fall asleep with Sleepy now. Don't want you getting a chicken flu."

"I won't."

At that, Hendrik was gone, and James was left with his pet chicken.

As expected, Elise and Mel took Sleepy away the moment they found out she was there in the morning. James felt childishly defiant about it, but didn't fight it. He knew they had good reasons for wanting to keep the chicken away from him while he was still healing, and Sleepy wasn't exactly the most sanitary animal.

Elise and Mel briefly asked Eve if she knew about Sleepy being brought in (despite knowing that she obviously did), but Eve thankfully played dumb, and they were both spared some berating.

Well, Eve was. James wasn't. It was a small price to pay for getting to hold his pet, at least once, but he hoped he wouldn't have to stay cooped up for much longer.

After the chicken debacle, the rest of the morning went as usual. Mel mentioned while they were redressing the wounds that one of the cuts on his leg looked irritated and she wanted to keep an eye on it. James knew that was a kind way of saying she was worried about infection - and he could tell that she wished she could just heal it up with her magic, so they wouldn't have to worry about it. But she said nothing more, and merely moved on.

After another round of stretches, James found himself tired again - at least, physically. His mind, however, was very awake.

When everyone began to stir and mingle about, getting ready to head out for the morning, James found himself, as usual, the only stationery being in the camp, stuck sitting in the wagon.

He found himself staring out into the forest, focusing on a distant, blurry tree.

He'd experienced the privilege of focused sight for a short time, really, before his glasses had been damaged. But even if he couldn't make out details, he could at least see color.

When they were deeper into the Moonlight Kingdom, they were mostly surrounded by evergreens, which kept their pine needles all year long. But now they were coming into forests where the trees lost their leaves. A few still had their brown and orange leaves, but it looked like many had already fallen for the season.

It was strange. It was already fall, and he barely remembered summer ever ending. It felt like he woke up one day, and it was cold.

He blinked when something obstructed his view. He refocused his eyes on the foreground, seeing that Alistair had come around the wagon, looking up at him.

"Hey, James," Alistair said, pausing as he glanced away to his side before giving him his attention again. "Want some company?"

James felt his expression soften.

"Sure," he said.

Alishair nodded, stepping in the wagon but not entering too far in, settling on a seat near the edge.

"I know you've been talking to everyone else. Sorry if I'm... last. I thought you were still recovering," Alistair said.

"I'll be recovering for a while," James said. "But I am feeling better than I was a week ago."

"Yeah... you look better. Are you in pain?" he asked.

James smiled weakly and let out a small sigh.

"Yes," he answered quietly. "But it's... well, I'm used to it. It's tolerable."

"Oh. Sorry to hear that," Alistair said more quietly.

There was a small pause. James wondered if Alistair felt bad for even asking.

"It's been a while," James said. "How have you been?"

"I've been doing good. Great, actually," Alistair said with a small smile. "Nowadays, I spend most of my time with Clasestine and Raj. Have you met them yet? I think Clandestine mentioned she saw you."

"Yeah, I've met them," James said. "They seem like good people. I assume they've been good friends?"

"No... I don't think so, anyways. It was just me and Clanny for a while. Raj came in later. It was her idea to adopt him," Alistair said.

"Adopt?" James asked with a small smile.

"Well, she has this thing... I don't really know what it is, really. But it's like she finds people without friends and adopts them into her social circle." Alistair sighed. "Yeah, okay, that made me look bad. But it worked out in the end."

James huffed a small laugh.

"Sounds like she's good at initiating," James said. "Not a bad thing."

Alistair nodded, now leaning back against a crate. "Yeah. Well, actually, I found her to be annoying at first, but I warmed up to her. She's genuine and sincere."

"I suppose it's better for someone to be sincerely annoying than maliciously annoying," James said.

Alistair let out an amused huff of air. "Sincerely annoying," he echoed. "I'll have to tell her that. I don't know how she'll take it though."

"If you've already told her you found her annoying I doubt she'll take it the wrong way," James said. "But you know her better than I."

"Well, when you put it that way... that sounds kind of mean," Alistair said, looking off to his side in thought. "I guess I should try to be nicer."

"Never a bad idea," James said.

"Yeah," Alistair said with a sigh. "But other than Clanny and Raj, I think there hasn't been too much worth sharing. I've been getting better at magic. So, there's that. But if someone needs fire, I usually let Clanny take the lead. I'd still rather not use magic unless I need to."

"Fair enough," James said. "I'm glad it's been getting better, though. For when you do need to use it."

"Yeah," Alistair said. "But what about you? What's this new magic ability of yours about?"

James sighed. The wagon lurched forward for a moment as everyone started moving. Alistair seemed to flinch at that, but then scurried closer in the wagon so he wouldn't dangle at the end. James took a second to lean back again now that the wagon started rocking.

"About that," James said. "I'm really not sure. It's... different from when Eve and I freeze magic. I guess the best way to describe it is, for me, it feels like everything slows down. But to everyone else, I guess, it looks like I'm moving inhumanly fast."

"Hence why Hendrik keeps calling you Speedy," Alistair said as he slowly picked a crate to lean against, settling on the one across from him since the ones further out kept sliding away.

"Yes," James said. "I always assumed the way that Eve and I froze time had to do with our magic, in a sense, pulling in opposite directions. So maybe I should've expected this. She can turn time back. And I guess... I can move forward in time. Just... faster than everyone else."

Alistair took a moment to think through his words.

"Gods," he finally moaned. "Time magic is so confusing."

"As a time mage, I agree with you," James said.

Though, it felt strange to say it. For most of his life he'd never really thought of himself as a mage, or even someone with powers beyond normal human limitations. It was only really the last year or two that he'd finally come to terms with it being a part of who he was.

"So, can you control it? Can you move faster than everyone else on demand?" Alostair asked.

"I'm not sure," James said. "I think this was my first time doing it alone, if that makes sense. The only other times I remember feeling something similiar were when Eve and I froze time. But Eve's magic was always holding mine back when that happened. And mine, hers."

A pause.

"But... when she came to the palace, we did both manage to use that magic at will," he said. "When we saw each other. I think, at this point, we've managed to pause time three times."

A beat.

"...Four times," he said, remembering the moment it happened on accident, when they were by the river. They'd just gotten back to Nye.

"Do you think you speeding ahead was triggered by something? Or maybe it was because Eve wasn't there with you?" Alistair asked.

"She... she was there," James clarified. "But she'd been knocked out. I think, at the time, it was triggered by desparation."

"Hm. That sounds really specific. I wonder if you'd be able to do it again," Alistair said.

"I mean," James said. "I haven't really tried."

"Well... if it's triggered by desperation, like you said... I hope it doesn't happen again."

James went quiet for a moment, looking down into his lap.

"Yeah," he said. "Me too."

"Well then," Alistair said, clearing his throat. "Outside of desperate magic and, you know, pain - how are you doing?"

James glanced up at Alistair, but only for a moment.

"Oh, hah," James said quietly. "I'm just... incredibly bored, really. There's not much I can do at the moment."

"I didn't realize that you're awake enough to be bored. I guess you're really limited by what you can do if you can't walk and have no means of entertainment," Alistair said.

"It's not that I'm not used to having a lot of downtime," James said. "I'm just used to having a lot more freedom when I do. It helps to... move around, or read, or write, or do something with my hands."

"When do you think you'll be able to walk again?" he asked.

James frowned.

"I'm not sure," he said. "I still have... a lot of open wounds that I shouldn't be moving a lot."

"Ah... still? Even with Mel and Elise healing you?" Alistair asked.

James pressed his lips together.

"They... haven't been, uh," he hesitated. "Healing with... their magic."

"Oh," Alistair said, growing silent.

"It's, um--" James started, trying to think of the briefest explanation possible. "Well, it-- it's not that they couldn't. I think it's-- it's more that, well..."

This was going poorly. James swallowed thickly.

"In the palace," James began again. "The-- the torturer was, um. A healing mage. And... I think some wires got crossed. In my brain, probably. When it comes to healing magic."

"...Oh," Alistair said again, once more growing silent.

James could feel the heavy tension that immediately fell between them as both of them seemed to deparately be trying to think of a way to recover from that. James decided to just open his mouth and say the first thing he could think of.

"Sorry about--"

"So, uh--" Alistair began at the exact same time.

James cleared his throat.

"You," James said pointedly.

All he was going to do was apologize, anyway.

"Well, uh... I was just, uh..." Alistair waved his hand in front of him. "It's nothing. You can go."

Now James had to come up with something real. He sighed.

"Your new haircut's nice," James decided to say.

"Oh," Alistair said with a sigh. "Thanks. Mel begged me to cut my hair. I assume she did the same to you?"

"I asked her," James said. "So no begging was involved."

"Oh. Well, it looks nice on you," Alistair said awkwardly.

There was another short, tense silence. But Alistair broke it before it could get too long.

"Sorry about asking. Honestly, I had no clue, so I wasn't trying to pry. No one really told me anything," he said with a deep sigh.

"It's fine," James said quietly. "It would be... weird if they told that to everyone. I think only the people who went under the palace really knew."

"That's fair," Alistair said, pausing again. "Gods, you weren't kidding when you said you felt desperate."

"Well, I try not to use my words flippantly," James said. "Not that I'm immune to occasional exaggeration."

"Yeah, well. I don't think it's an exaggeration to say that that was a dark day," Alistair said with another sigh. "I can't believe it's been a month since that happened..."

Wait. A month? It felt like it's been a week, maybe. A few days.

"Has it really been that long?" James asked.

"Yeah... I'm pretty sure," Alistair said as he briefly tilted his head up and squinted, like he was second-guessing himself as he considered the dates.

"You probably have a better idea of how long it's been than me," James said quietly.

"I've been trying to keep up with the days, yeah. I'm still getting used to the new calendar, but yeah, I guess it's been a month," Alistair said.

James had to let that sink in for a moment.

Three months. That's how long it'd been since he left the others. And it'd only been, what, four months since they'd arrived on Nye? So much had happened.

"I guess... you haven't really been on Nye for that long," James said.

"It's been four months now, I think. It somehow feels shorter and longer than that, though," Alistair said.

"Yes," James said distantly. "Agreed."

"It still hasn't really hit me that I'm here for... you know... forever. But I'm not complaining. Just... hasn't sunk in yet, probably because we're always on the move, always something," Alistair said.

"It will probably start to feel more permanent when we reach New Haven," James said. "And things... settle down."

"Yeah," he said with a nod. "I don't really know what I'll do there yet. Live without worrying about people trying to kill us, I guess."

"That does sound nice," James said.

There was a short pause.

"What about you? Do you have any plans once we reach New Haven?" Alistair asked.

"I haven't really thought about it," James said quietly. "I think I put thinking about the future on the shelf for a long time. This is the first time it's even felt like an option for... for years."

"What about when you were on Earth?" Alistair asked.

"I don't know if it'd sunk in," James said. "That it was real. Even at the end... it always felt like something was looking over my shoulder. Like nothing was really permanent."

And in a way, he'd been right, he supposed.

Alistair nodded. "Did you like having a farm? Maybe you could do that in New Haven again, if that's an option."

"Maybe," James said.

But he remembered how that went last time. Maybe it would be different, now. He didn't know.

"Well... I've heard farming could be therapeutic. But I guess you know more about it than me," Alistair said.

James glanced over at Alistair.

Usually, Alistair was pretty choice with his words. He never really said things just to say things, but it felt like he was just trying to fill the silence.

It felt like everyone was being so careful around him, but James was realizing now that even though it came from a considerate place, it was making it hard to have a real conversation. Was everyone that scared to make him fall apart? Did he really seem that fragile?

"I didn't mind farming when I was on Terra," James said. "I think I'd just prefer it with more community if I did it again. I was... pretty isolated last time."

"I'm sure there's a farming community there," Alistair said. "At least, that makes sense to me... I don't know how else they'd get food since the city is already isolated."

"I'm sure there's something," James said in agreement.

"Yeah," Alistair said again, and then there was another long, awkward pause.

At least, James could sense that Alistair felt awkward. James didn't really mind the silence too much at the moment.

He supposed if he was in Alistair's shoes, maybe he'd feel the same. James was rescued, and he'd been back with everyone for some time, now. But... things weren't the same.

He wasn't the same...

"Sorry again," Alistair apologized again. "I feel like I should not be blanking at words of comfort here."

James looked up at Alistair.

"Oh. It's-- you don't have to say anything," James said, looking quickly back down into his lap. "I don't think there's much to say."

"Yeah... I suppose you're right," Alistair said softly, leaving it at that.

And true to James's suggestion, he didn't say anything else.

The silence that settled between them, this time, felt more natural. Maybe all Alistair had needed was permission.

So they sat, saying nothing for the remainder of the ride, until they slowed for their next break.

James found himself staring up at the sky when the wagon shook to a stop.

Clouds were rolling in. It looked like rain.

Alistair stayed with him in silence for another minute, but then he finally stirred and got to his feet.

"This was nice," he said. "Let's do this more often."

James looked to Alistair.

"Well. You know where I'll be," he said. "At least, until I get moving again."

"I'll come by more often, then," Alistair said with a small smile.

James offered a small smile in return.

"Thanks, Ali," he said.

"Yeah... no problem," Alistair said, then glanced at the entrance of the wagon. "Well... I'll see you later, then."

"Until next time," James said.

At that, Alistair nodded and then hopped off the wagon, only glancing back at James before disappearing with the others.

James looked back up at the sky, wondering what they'd do when the rain rolled in. They'd been travelling by the river for a while. There wasn't an abundance of natural shelters.

Maybe they'd just rough it out in tents.

Movement caught his attention in the corner of his eye, and he saw Eve come around on Elliot.

"Hey, stranger," she said with a smile, dismounting Elliot. "Did you have a good morning?"

"It was nice," James said, finding himself smiling as she hopped up into the wagon. "You?"

"Eventful, I'd say," Eve said as she sat next to him. "Mel peeled away from Jordan so she could gush about him to me. So, eventful."

Before he could get a word in, she suddenly offered him a stickers bar wrapped in wax paper.

"Here," she said, still smiling. "Bo made these for everyone. I saved one for you."

James smiled wider, taking it gingerly from her hands.

"It feels like I haven't had one of these in forever," he said, starting to unwrap it.

Eve unwrapped hers as well, but it was half-eaten. She must have saved her other half to eat it the rest of it with him.

"This was the first time I had it. I did try to make it for you once, but after eating this..." She laughed weakly. "Well, I didn't realize how off I was until now."

It took James a moment to recall the moment to which she was referring.

That had been his birthday, hadn't it? When she'd tried to replicate them.

That wasn't a very good memory...

James took a bite, and was hit with an immediate wave of nostalgia.

"There's nothing quite like the original," he said through chews.

"I can see why these are popular," Eve said with an amused smile, watching him chew through a big bite. "It was a nice surprise for Bo to make this for everyone. He must have been hoarding the ingredients for a while. I supposed he thought a motivational treat would lift everyone's spirits."

"He wasn't wrong," James said, already halfway through his bar.

"Yeah, I can see that," Eve said with a laugh through her nose. "Maybe I should have gotten you real food before giving you a snack."

James took another big bite. He was going to say something, but his chewing was poorly timed, and his mouth was too full to respond with words. He waved at her dismissively and shook his head instead.

Eve shook her head in amusement, finally getting a bite into her stickers bar. They ate in silence for a little bit, but by the time James had finished his, she had finished her one bite.

"Do you want the rest of mine?" she said with a laugh, already offering it to him.

James looked at her, the bar, then back up to meet her eyes.

"You sure?" he asked.

"Yeah, take it," she insisted.

He couldn't help but smile, feeling a silly sense of giddiness as he took the rest of hers and started to eat it too. It didn't take him long to finish it.

He'd forgotten how good stickers bars were.

"I can see if Bo has more, but we may have to fight Jordan for it. He seems to like it as much as you do," Eve said, still with the amused smile on her face.

James was licking the sticky honey residue off his fingers.

"I don't think I'd win that fight without pulling the 'poor me I'm so hurt right now' card," James said.

"I don't know," Eve mused. "That could be a good tactic. Which do you prefer: delicious sticky bars, or your dignity?"

"Honestly, my dignity at this point," James said. "It's not often I get to keep it these days."

James hesitated. He... probably shouldn't have said that. It only made things awkward.

"I'll be fine without them," he said quickly after a stilted pause. "But thanks for sharing yours."

It was like Eve didn't hear his apology, latching on to the implications of his first words.

"Did something happen with Alistair?" she asked, pinching her brows together as she gave him her undivided attention.

James blinked.

"What?" he asked. "No! Uh, no, nothing-- nothing happened. Really. It was fine. We--we sat in silence for most of it."

Eve was silent for a moment, thinking. "Did someone else say something that bothered you?" she asked instead.

"No," James said weakly. "I... I'm okay."

He felt like he wasn't convincing. But he also didn't know what to say.

It wasn't something that was said, really. It was more how everyone seemed to act around him.

Eve was quiet again as she leaned back against the crate, crossing her legs as she took a deep breath.

"I know you're not, but... you're recovering, and I know it's hard," she said. "I just wanted to make sure others weren't giving you a hard time."

James dropped his eyes into his lap, looking down at the empty wrappers in his hands. Idly, he started folding them up.

"They haven't," James said quietly.

A pause.

"If anything, it's been the opposite," James said, lowering his voice even more. "Everyone's been so... careful, around me. It's like... I can feel how much they're trying. Like they feel like if they say something wrong, it'll... I don't know. Break me. Like I'm made of glass."

James could feel her stare, full of concern and worry.

"Do you not want them to be careful?" she asked.

James pressed his lips together.

"I don't know," he whispered. "I guess... I just wish things could go back to normal again."

"And I don't think that's a bad thing," Eve said softly, setting her hand gently on his knee. "I don't think it's a bad thing to want to be treated as normal."

"I think the only person who hasn't changed -- that I noticed -- was Mel," James said. "It's funny, I guess, now that I think about it. She still gives me just as much of a hard time as she did before."

He started folding the wrappers into fourths.

"It was... nice."

"Mel does have that gift. She easily makes friends, but cherishes all of them - even when there are rifts in time or other events that could strain the friendship. If she cherishes you, it means she knows you cherish her. It goes both ways," Eve said.

"I do care about all of them," James said. "I wish I could tell them all just how much I do without it coming off as a post-near-death-experience ramble. At least... I feel like that's how it'd be recieved."

"I see where you're coming from," Eve said. "But it was a near death experience for you. And I think the others are trying to respect your boundaries while also trying to understand. It's a fine line to cross."

"I guess that's where I feel torn between what I know and what I feel," James said. "I understand that in my head. I just still... miss when things were simpler."

Eve nodded. "I do too. I wish things were simplier, easier, and less painful. But right now, being with you and seeing you gobble up two stickers bars... I wouldn't trade this life for another."

James felt the tension building in his chest as Eve kept talking.

"I know that there is a dissonance between what you know and feel - and I think this awareness is a start to healing. And healing starts with yourself, doesn't it? You want others to engage with you, but are you ready to engage with yourself and think through difficult thoughts?" Eve finished.

Eve was right, but James could feel the writhing in his own soul as Eve seemed to put her finger on the very root of the issue - something he'd been aware of, but was refusing to look at.

James felt like he'd been through this before, in the past. Years of trauma wrapped around him like layers. It felt like every time he managed to cut through one, even just a little, that another swallowed him up. Maybe he was too fatalistic to think it was inescapable. But if he was honest, for the past seven years, and especially the last five, he'd felt like he was drowning.

Just four months ago, he'd thought he'd finally opened a door to something better. He thought maybe he'd find some path to peace. But everything blew up in his face when Makiel and Rudy were caught by Rita and Tula, and he didn't know if he'd even felt like himself since. He felt like he kept forgetting who that even was.

Was he ready to think through difficult thoughts?

James didn't know if he was ready to face the truth. He desparately wished he could just close the door on this chapter of his life and forget it all ever happened. He wished it hadn't happened at all. He wished he hadn't run away, playing the hero. He wished he could blame anyone but himself.

"I'm sorry," Eve said in the looming silence. "I should have said that more gently. My intentions are not out of spite or malice. I just... I care about you, James. And I also want you to recover. We're in this together, aren't we? My problems are your problems, and yours are mine. I know it's hard, but... I want to be there with you every step of the way."

James nodded. He could feel the pressure building in his own head. He could feel everything inside of him wanting to withdraw and shut down.

But he didn't want to do that to Eve. He really didn't.

What could he do to stop from drowning?

He could feel the tension rising to his throat. Pressing behind his eyes. He didn't want to cry again. But what was the alternative? Shut out the person he loved more than anyone else in the world?

His lips began to tremble, and he realized he'd crumpled the wrappers in his hands.

"I don't know if I can do it," he said, his voice warbling, coming out with a croak. "I don't know how. If I-- if I do, what if I'm never okay again?"

"It's alright," Eve said softly, already leaning in for a hug, wrapping her arm around his neck so she could pull him in. "I'll still be here for you. I know it's scary. I'm scared too. But I want to discover this with you, together. I love all sides of you, James. Even if you don't."

James held the tension in his body for just a moment longer before he finally let himself melt into Eve's embrace, wrapping his arms around her in return. He buried his face in her shoulder.

"I don't even know how to start, Eve," James began to cry into her shoulder. "It was hell. It was--"

His voice broke, and he couldn't bring himself to finish his thought as he began to shake, letting out a sob.

"It's okay," Eve said softly in his ear, giving him a gentle squeeze. "We don't have to figure it all out right now. We have plenty of time. I'll be here every step of the way."

James wanted to say something. He did. But every time he tried to get a word out, he just kept crying more. It felt like an eternity that he wept into her shoulder, and by the time his eyes were dry, the wagon was moving again.

He could feel another bit of his pride die again when he blearily flicked his eyes up to see who was driving the wagon. It was Bo, but his back was turned to them, and he said nothing.

There was enough distance between the front of the wagon and where James and Eve sat that if they whispered, they probably wouldn't be overheard. But the relative privacy they had before was gone.

James pulled away and started to wipe his eyes with his sleeves.

"Do you feel better?" Eve whispered, handing him another handkerchief. It was like she had an endless supply of it in the wagon.

James took it and used the handkerchief instead of his sleeves.

"A little," James said, sniffing. He didn't know how to measure anything at the moment. He felt better and worse at the same time.

"I'm glad," Eve said back, then glanced at the back of the wagon, noting Adina riding Elliot nearby. "I'll stay here with you," she added for clarification.

"Okay," James said softly.

Now that he'd pulled away, they sat side by side. James lightly leaned against Eve, resting his head on her shoulder.

It had rained for two days. When they camped, it was under earth-carved shelters that Raj put together. But when they traveled, they put a cover up over the wagon and everyone else roughed it in the rain. James was in the only real shelter available while they were moving.

He could still hear the patter of steady rain against the tarp above him.

"That's not really how it works," James explained to Elias.

Elias was hiking, following behind the wagon. James had moved so he was sitting up against the edge, looking out. He could feel the mist of the drizzle occasionally reach him.

"Resources are still pretty scarce, post-calamity. Outside of major wealty cities and well-connected criminal organizations, there aren't many ways to get a hold of guns, gunpowder, or ammo. The average person can't just get a gun unless they have some of the highest levels of privilege - regardless of means - in Nye. Which means only a very small percentage of people can sustainably use guns on the regular," James explained.

Somehow, the subject of firearms always came up. Everyone from earth always seemed to wonder why guns existed but everyone didn't have them and just use them instead. Maybe someday in the future, it would end up that way. But with the current rate of weapons and technology development, it wasn't likely to reach that point for another 100 years.

Elias hummed. "So, who's making them? Seems like there's an open market for that."

"There really are only two main manufacturers," James said. "There's a company in Goulon, to the east, and there's the Rikk Arms company in the Moonlight Kingdom. And that's based in King's Peak. Both have their own independent patents. There are definitely a few people outside of them that make guns on their own, but to get the resources to do so is a lot of work and money. So... that's about all I know about that."

Elias jumped into a puddle, the water splashing all around him. A few droplets almost landed on James.

"Are you sure you don't know how to make a gun?" he asked as he shook off the water from his boots, hiking forward again.

James huffed through his nose.

"I know how to assemble and disassemble one, and how to load and shoot and care for one," James said. "But it's not the same as making one."

"So... why don't you have a gun?" Elias asked.

"I used to," James said. "But I lost it a long time ago. Well, lost it isn't accurate. It was stolen. But... it's fine."

"Well... I guess guns are rare. Makes sense that it got stolen," Elias said, zig-zagging to the side to step in another puddle.

"It was a six-shooter," James said. "Small. Easy to hide. It was nice to have back when my eyes were a little better. Nowadays it's probably better for everyone that I don't shoot anything long-range... at least not without glasses."

"So you'd shoot stuff if you had glasses?" Elias asked.

"I... I mean, I don't really shoot for fun. I'd really only use a gun if it was for defense or hunting purposes, I guess," James said. "Or practice, I guess."

He let out a small sigh.

"But yeah, only if I had glasses."

"Practice..." Elias repeated, seemingly mulling that over as he still focused his attention on the small puddles on the ground.

"Back when I was in the military we had some shooting ranges for training," James clarified. "That's really all I meant by practice."

"Did you have glasses then?" he asked.

"Well, I didn't really need them then. It wasn't really until I left the kingdom that my eyesight started to really deteriorate," he said.

"Or maybe your gun skills deteriorated," Elias said, even if it didn't make too much sense.

"Ha," James said dryly. "Likely both. I was always better at swordfighting than marksmanship anyway."

"Do you like it?" Elias asked. "Sword fighting."

"I'm incredibly out of practice," James said. "And, admittedly, I've really only used those skills in high stress situations. I don't think I'd really enjoy it as much anymore. I used to, but... I think in my mind, I just have... too many negative associations with it now."

"Well, swords are sharp and pointy. That's pretty stressful," Elias said.

"Yes. And obviously, they're pretty useless against guns. I felt like an idiot for practically forgetting that when I was on earth. I really... wasn't thinking straight. I was hardly thinking at all," James said with a long sigh.

"Wait, you had a sword on earth?" Elias asked with a raised brow, finally looking up at him on the wagon.

James regretting bringing it up.

"Gods, Elias, it's... it's so godsdamned embarassing," James groaned, reaching up to rub the bridge of his nose.

"You really brought a sword to a gunfight, huh," Elias mused.

"I didn't bring-- I--" James stuttered, before landing on another very long sigh.

"Yes. It was a disaster. And I went through so much just to get it. I don't think I've ever felt so stupid in my life."

Elias was quiet for a moment, thinking and processing. "You got a sword on earth? How'd you manage that?" he asked, sounding genuinely curious.

Okay. James only had himself to blame for this. He was digging himself into this hole.

"Yeah, so..." James started with another sigh. He looked down into his lap, unable to look at Elias for this explanation.

"When Eve and I were traveling together, before we passed through The City of Angels. The whole thing felt loke a fever dream, but I had the brilliant idea to enter a largely publicized and televised boxing competition because the prize was, essentially, getting your first pick of any weapon from this... probably a hoarding warlord's weapon's collection."

He closed his eyes, rubbing them again as he held the bridge of his nose.

"And I won. And I got a bloody sword."

"Oh," Elias said. "Well. That sounds like a pretty good deal."

"It was, but the victory was short-lived, because maybe less than an hour after winning, I got kidnapped," James said with a weak laugh. "And tortured. It's kind of ironic that it happened twice. At least this last time I saw it coming."

Elias didn't respond but kept his full attention on James, hearing his words and processing again. He seemed worried and was thinking through what to say next.

James hesitated. He swallowed hard, looking away.

"Sorry. I... probabaly shouldn't laugh. About that," he said stiffly.

Suddenly, Elias lept forward like a frog, landing on the edge of the wagon. James flinched at first. Elias turned to sit at the end with him, letting his legs dangle. Now that Elias was in a dryer spot, he shook himself dry like a dog and then slipped out of his jacket.

"I kind of like being in the rain," he said as he threw his wet jacket behind him, not looking to see where it landed. "But I think it's also nice to be warm and dry."

James shifted a little, giving Elias some space between the two of them, so he didn't have to be right on the edge.

"Yeah," James said quietly. "It's nice."

"Do you like rainy days?" Elias asked, leaning back on his hands and looking up at the sky.

"Sometimes," James said, looking out at the sky with him. "I like warm rain."

"Warm rain? I don't think I've felt that before. It's always cold to me," he said.

"It happens in the summertime," James said. "Usually in humid areas."

Elias hummed. "You'll have to take me there and show me someday."

"I'd like that," James said. "I could give you a little tour of Nye. Show you all of the hidden places nobody knows about."

"Oh yeah? What's your favorite hidden place?" Elias asked.

"I think I like this little spot by the coast," James said. "There's a bunch of pools by the shore, filled with corals and all sorts of critters. It feels like you get to peek into the ocean without actually having to dive deep."

"Wow. That sounds really beautiful. And there's warm rain? Sounds like paradise," Elias said, still gazing up at the sky.

James huffed weakly through his nose.

"Yeah... I guess it does," James said.

A short silence passed.

"Hey, I'm curious. Do you still have the sword you won from earth?" Elias asked.

"I... I think it's around here somewhere," James said. "It's probably still strapped to Elliot's saddle. I don't think there's really been much use for it..."

"Maybe you could teach me someday. Pass me your great sword fighting skills, oh wise one," Elias said with a little smile, finally tearing his gaze away as he angled himself to better see James.

James tried to smile back, but it felt forced. If anything, it probably looked more like a wince. He looked down, hoping Elias would stay true to his norm and not read into it.

"Yeah," James said.

He found himself staring at his legs.

"I can do my best."

"Believe it or not, I actually know how to use a sword. Just a little, though. I don't think I could use it well for offense, but you won't need to totally dumb it down for me. Still, I think it'd be neat to see your skills put to the test in a low-stress environment. Maybe we could attack trees?" Elias said.

"Or we could just use wooden practice swords," James said. "You know. Something that won't kill you if you get hit on accident."

"Use sticks to attack trees? That sounds terrifying, for the tree," Elias said.

James huffed again.

"I don't know if trees are that kind of sentient," James said.

"I think they are. I think all life is, in a way. From trees to the ocean coral in your hidden paradise. They're all crying out, 'Please don't hurt me with your wooden stick.'"

Even though Elias was just joking, James couldn't help but quietly wonder in the back of his mind if there was something real in that statement.

Elias's magic probably meant that he could, in a way, sense the life around them.

"I was thinking more in the context of sparring with each other with sticks," James finally clarified. "Not sparring with trees."

"Oh," Elias said with an airy laugh. "That makes more sense, yeah. See, you're already a great teacher."

"It helps when you have a good student," James said lightly.

"Just please don't give me any tests. I hate tests."

"The only test is life," James said. "That's enough test for anyone. We don't need any more than that."

Elias hummed. "Wise man strikes again. What else you got?"

"I'm afraid my words of wisdom have cool-down period," James said. "I can only say one very wise thing every thirty minutes."

"Darn," Elias said. "Who gave you that rule? They sound lame."

"It's less of a rule and more of a natural consequence," James said. "The world couldn't handle it if I was spouting wisdom all the time. Wisdom isn't always met with happy hearers."

"Happy hearer... Am I a happy hearer?" Elias asked.

James tilted his head to the side, mildly amused, finding Elias, in this moment, particularly endearing.

"I'd like to think so," James said.

"What does that mean? That I have happy ears?" Elias asked with a smile, reaching up to touch his ear.

"I guess I meant it in the way that-- a happy hearer is someone who eagerly recieves wisdom, or takes delight in hearing the truth," James said. "But maybe your ears can be happy too."

"Well... my ears are angled to always try to hear your wisdom. So I think that's a pretty good description. I like that," Elias said.

James turned his head, angling his ear towards Elias.

"A visual," he said.

"I guess you could say: you're all ears," Elias said with a growing grin.

"I think I need more ears for that," James said, turning to look at him again.

"Where would your third ear be? Your forehead?"

"What if it was on the back of my head?" James asked. "Then I could hear anyone coming behind me."

"Wouldn't it be better to have eyes back there? Then you can see them coming," Elias said.

"Not if my eyes suck," James said.

"What would glasses even look like for that eye? Would it be a monocle?" Elias wondered.

"Probably," James said. "Or maybe they'd make glasses for all eyes, and they kind of connect around your head like a crown."

"A glasses crown. I think you'd be the wearer for it. You can be the king of bad eyesight," Elias mused.

James stared at Elias for a moment, feeling a laugh build before it sputtered out, louder than he anticipated.

He reached up to rub his face. It felt warm, and he didn't know why he felt embarassed.

"Yeah," he said, rubbing his eyes. "I'll take that title."

Another short silence passed. It felt comfortable, although it didn't last long before Elias spoke up again.

"Well, since I have happy ears and you can't see much in front of you anyways..." he began, but the goofiness in his expression and voice seemed to melt away, replaced with sobering seriousness. "With your experiences, I know it can be hard to navigate through your thoughts and feelings. It might even feel impossible. And it's fine if you don't even know where to begin. But... I'm happy to listen, if you want to share anything. Otherwise, I'm happy to also talk about weird monocles."

James wasn't sure what he'd been expecting.

Frankly, Elias had probably been the last person he expected to ask about it - mostly because he knew that Elias was struggling with things he wasn't talking about either. He didn't think it was hypocritical of Elias to open the door to talking about it, but he'd just assumed the common ground they'd found with each other was that they'd take solace in one another's company by talking about nothing.

He found himself falling quiet for what might've been too long for Elias. But James really wasn't sure where to begin. Or what he was even ready to share, if anything.

"You know..." James said quietly. "When I was being tortured by the Gaia... what broke me was dying, and being brought back again."

He stared down into his lap, drawing his hands together. Tense. Fingers intertwined.

"But in the palace," he went on. "I died so many times. And somehow, it didn't phase me anymore. But what broke me was when I hallucinated seeing my father again."

A pause.

"It wasn't even real," he said, barely audible. "But it... I don't know. For so long I felt like I'd been teased out of death. Tasting it, over and over, but it'd never stick. But when I saw my father again it was like... I don't know. It felt like my eyes were opened too late. For the first time in years, I actually, genuinely wanted to live. And I don't know if it was just because, after dying so many times, I realized death wasn't all that I dreamed it'd be. But I... I thought it was too late."

"Did your father say anything to you?" Elias asked.

"He wasn't really there," James whispered. But he knew it wasn't an answer to the question.

"I know," Elias said. "You said it was a visual, right? A hallucination?"

"Yeah," James said faintly. "It didn't last very long."

He swallowed thickly.

"All I... I told him was... to wait for me," James said.

"I know it's a hallucination, but I think during times of despair, it could be your subconscious trying to tell you something. Did you want to die?" Elias asked, his full attention still on him.

"Yes," James said. "And no. I wanted the suffering to be over. And I wanted to see my father again. But in admitting that... I don't know. It was like... I felt like I was finally letting go."

James could feel his eyes growing misty, but it didn't feel like the overwhelming builds of emotion that had been coming out when he was with Eve.

"Letting go... of your father? Or yourself?" Elias asked.

"My father," James whispered. "It felt like... after seventeen years. It was like I was letting go of the last piece of him. I think, for so long, I held onto an idea of him so tightly like a lifeline. Because I needed something, or someone to live for. So I might as well do it for him. But it-- it was like in that moment... I finally allowed him to rest. Like I didn't need him to be that for me anymore."

James stared at his hands, but his vision was blurring.

"I don't know," he muttered again. "I guess I just realized... I wanted to live for me."

He finally allowed himself to blink, and hot tears rolled down his cheeks.

"It just felt... unfair to finally have that kind of clarity when I thought I was going to die," he said, his throat growing tight.

A brief silence sat between them as Elias gazed back up at the sky, deep in thought.

"Rain is coming down harder now, I think," he said.

James nodded, but he had to swallow the knot in his throat down, and it hurt to do so. He quickly dabbed the tears away, trying to push them back down.

Elias let the silence hang in the air for a little while longer.

"I don't know if I'd use the word 'unfair' for that," he said, breaking the silence. "I think I'd say it was... wise."

It was humorous, considering their earlier conversation. But Elias didn't let the humor show in his expression, instead letting out a deep sigh.

"I don't think it's a bad thing to have these realizations during hard times. I think it's wise, because it would be so easy to think the opposite, wouldn't it? To succumb to the idea of death, especially with how you were being treated. But... you didn't. And I think that's worth celebrating."

James had to press his lips together to push back another wave of tears, and his lips curved into a frown. He took in a deep breath.

"Problem is," he said quietly. "Now that it's all over I don't know what that even looks like. To... to live. That sounds stupid, now that I say it out loud."

"I don't think it's stupid," Elias said. "After everything you've been through, it can be hard to adjust."

James nodded, sniffing and wiping his nose, still trying to get rid of the remnants of tears and the lingering urge to cry again.

"I just... I don't know if I can," James said. "I don't want to sound hopeless. I just... I feel like I tried that, on Terra. And it went horribly. And that was before I-- I was. You know--"

He gestured pointedly at his legs in frustration.

"--Was cut up like a science experiment," he muttered bitterly.

"Do you think about that a lot?" Elias asked.

James frowned deeply, staring down into his lap again.

"... Every day," he said. "How can I not? Every day I wake up and I can't even do things for myself. I'm always reminded of it."

Elias hummed. "Maybe that's the root of all the noise. Maybe you haven't fully processed what happened."

Well. James felt like that was obvious.

"Yeah," he said a little too flatly.

"Have you processed it out loud yet?" Elias asked. "Maybe with Evaline?"

"Why, so I can live it all over again?" James asked weakly.

He knew it wasn't a fair question. Because he knew he'd have to talk about it. Eventually.

"The opposite. So you don't have to live it all over again every day by yourself," Elias said, unwavering.

James fell quiet again, his gaze unfocused, but still pointed down at his hands in his lap. He didn't register the twitching tap of his thumb against the back of his hand until several moments passed.

"It's... not just what happened at the palace," James said quietly.

"Yeah. That's a lot to process. Have you been holding it in the whole time?" Elias asked.

"The whole time... since when?" James asked.

"Well... I know some of it, yeah. And I'm sure you've told others. But if something is troubling you, and you think about it every day... it's a lot to process by yourself, don't you think?" Elias said.

James was quiet again for a few seconds.

"What if it's too much for others too?" James asked.

"Why don't you ask to find out if it is?" Elias asked with a small, reassuring smile.

"You... make it sound so simple," James said.

"Sorry," Elias said. "I know it's not. It's not easy to say, 'Oh, I've been tortured for years now. What about it?' And I know it's a lot to unpack here. But you're my friend, and I care about you. You don't have to share anything if you don't want to. But I hope my happy ears could help alleviate some of the pain keeping you up at night. I don't mind listening, even if it's gruesome and traumatic. Honestly, that stuff doesn't really bother me. I just want to make sure you're doing okay and have an outlet."

James nodded quietly, to himself more than anything. But he couldn't find the courage to go any deeper. The thought of opening those doors in his memory felt like staring into a black hole. Except the black hole was staring back.

"I... I don't know where..." James started, feeling like his own mouth wasn't cooperating. "Where could I even begin?"

"It doesn't have to be chronological, and you don't need to tell a story," Elias said. "Is there a specific detail that you keep reliving or that you remember the most?"

James shook his head.

"It's all..." he reached up, rubbing his temples. "It all... blends together."

"That's alright," Elias said gently. "It can be hard to figure out. I know I'm kind of putting you on the spot right now."

Elias seemed to wait for James to draw a conclusion, but still, nothing was coming to mind. Another silence passed.

"I told you I sort of knew how to sword fight, right?" Elias suddenly said, changing the subject.

James nodded.

"As you said, swords are kind of silly to bring to a gunfight. So it's rare for anyone to know. I only knew because someone basically threw it at me and challenged me to a fight."

Elias sighed, leaning back and swinging his legs that were still dangling at the edge of the wagon.

"She was insane. Definitely high stress environment. I learned on the fly, but just by defense so she didn't stab me. It only worked sometimes, though," he finished.

James glanced at Elias, trying to follow. Elias almost never shared anything personal about his past, nevermind the traumatic things. Not in detail.

It felt like he was sharing for the sake of an example.

"Did that happen... multiple times?" James asked.

"Oh yeah, lots of times - for years. I only saw her for a month every year though. So, can't say my sword fighting got any better between those times. She certainly did, though," Elias said.

"That... does sound like it would be stressful," he commented quietly.

"And I never got any proper lessons," Elias huffed. "It's too bad I'll never duel her again. I wonder how I'd do after you teach me what you know."

"Well... hopefully you won't have to again, like you said," James said. "But... improving is good."

"Yeah. Definitely," Elias said with a nod, leaving it at that.

A longer lull of silence passed, and James could sense that Elias was waiting for James to set the tone to continue. But James hadn't decided yet where he wanted to land.

He didn't think he was ready to talk about it yet...

"What was your torturer's name?" Elias suddenly asked.

James blinked.

"Uh," he said quietly. "...Arimala."

"She was a healing mage, right? Or... anti-healing mage."

"I don't know what to call them anymore," James said. "But she... she did both."

"Yeah. I could tell she's not very nice," Elias said. "As soon as we came in, she hurt you and threatened for us to free her."

"Is that what happened?" James asked distantly. "I... guess I didn't realize it was a threat."

"I took it as a threat, but maybe it was more of an ultimatum. Obviously, we didn't free her. I wonder what she's up to now, though? We did lock her back in afterwards," Elias said.

James swallowed thickly.

"She's... probably dead now," James said quietly. "Because she... didn't stop me from escaping."

"Hm," Elias hummed. "Well, if she's dead, I guess you don't have to worry about her chasing you as a bounty hunter. Or mage hunter... whatever they call it."

Right.

And he didn't have to worry about Rita either.

Carter, on the other hand...

"I don't think they would've let her do that anyway," James whispered.

"Why? Because she's a mage?" Elias asked.

"Yes," James answered. "They wouldn't trust her."

A pause.

"At least... I assume they wouldn't," James said, even quieter. "But I guess I don't know anymore. I haven't been a part of the kingdom for years."

And things had changed even more, now that Carter was gone.

Elias hummed again, drumming his fingers against his knees.

"It's weird that the kingdom let mages work for them, yet they execute mages," Elias thought out loud.

"It's... really not that weird," James said. "It's about power, and who has control of it. If the kingdom can use mages secretly within their controlled environment while simultaneously taking the power away from everyone else... well, it works in their favor."

"So do you think the mages are forced to work there? Maybe they don't have much of a choice," Elias asked.

"Like I said," James said. "I haven't been there in years to see it myself. But I'm sure there are several levels of coercion and bargaining that lead up to their servitude."

"What about Arimala? Do you think she wanted to be there?" he asked.

"You said she wanted to escape, didn't you?" James asked in return.

"Yeah. It seems that she was also held there against her will," Elias said.

James nodded slightly.

"Yeah," James said faintly. "I guess so."

"I wonder if she was brought up to torture. It doesn't excuse what she did to you... but I do wonder," Elias said.

James wondered too. But he didn't know how helpful it was to wonder about Arimala's upbringing or how she became a torturer for the kingdom. He knew that Arimala was Oliver's sister. But he didn't know anything about Oliver, and what that even meant to Arimala. Obviously, Oliver wasn't under the kingdom's thumb. So either he didn't have magic, or he found a way to escape.

But Arimala clearly knew about Oliver's demise. Otherwise she'd never have mentioned him to James.

"I don't know. Just trying to make some sense of the situation. It's hard, but I think it's helpful to think of reasons of why and how bad things happen," Elias said.

"Right," James said. "Because 'Carter hates me' wasn't enough."

Elias shrugged. "If she's dead, there's really no way to know the truth. You might as well make up a reason that makes the most sense to you."

James sighed.

"I don't know if making sense of it changes anything," James said.

"Maybe. Maybe not," Elias said as he looked away deep in thought again. "What about when you were in the room with her? Were you focusing on anything?"

James fell quiet again.

He really did try to think back, but it was as if... he couldn't even access the memory at that level anymore. He wasn't sure if he was even able to focus on anything after even the first session. He had always been so drained. Too tired to even think. Too tired to feel. He was merely existing, just to exist.

"I can't remember," he said faintly. But he didn't know how honest of an answer that was.

Maybe he could, if he tried harder. Maybe he could come up with something, even if it was a partial truth.

"Before... the palace," James said. "I was thinking about you guys."

He swallowed.

"The hope of you all coming to find me kept me going," he said.

"It's nice that it all worked out in the end, then," Elias said with a small smile, but didn't dwell on the sentiments for too long. "So, you were thinking of that while Tula and the others... you know. Tortured you?"

James nodded, but only once.

"I think... I don't know," James hesitated. "There's this state of mind I get in. When I'm when I'm being tortured."

"Yeah? What's that like?" Elias asked.

"It's like there's something inside of me that just rages," he said. "Like, I have to spitefully survive, just to prove them wrong. To prove that they can't break me. Because I don't want to let them win."

"Is that how you get through the pain?" Elias asked.

"I guess," James said.

"But you didn't feel that way with Arimala. Is that right?"

James had started picking at a scab on his hand. He didn't realize until the scab broke and he felt a prick of pain.

"I don't know," James said, quieter. "I don't... I don't know why I kept hanging on. I think at some point I was hanging on just to hang on. Like there was some inherent survival instinct inside me still kicking, even when I was barely able to form a single thought."

"I don't think that's a bad thing. It's good to have that survival instict, don't you think?" Elias said.

"It is," James agreed.

Though, historically, that instinct went out the window when anyone else around him was in danger. Because those were the moments he threw himself into danger.

"Alright, so you don't remember much, but you do know that your strong survival instinct kicked in to keep you going," Elias summarized. "Let's see what else you remember... Do you remember what you ate while you were in the palace?"

"I didn't eat anything," James said.

"Well, that's rude," Elias said with a sigh. "Alright then. Do you remember anything weird or out of the ordinary happening? Anything that sticks out to you?"

James could feel his head growing foggy.

"There were... a few times, I think, when servants would come in and clean up," James said. "After me."

He didn't know if that qualified as out of the ordinary.

"I don't remember much of it," James said. But they kept him from living in his own refuse. It was probably only to keep the room from smelling like urine, though.

"Did they talk to you?" Elias asked.

"No," James said.

And he hadn't spoken to them either.

"Alright. What did they clean, specifically?" Elias pressed.

James was digging his fingers into the cut on his hand. The scab was completely gone, now.

"Me," James said. "And any of the tools Arimala had been using. The floor. Wasn't much else in the room to clean."

Elias hummed in thought, drumming his fingers along the floor. "Were you naked the whole time?"

James focused on the feeling of blood trickling down his hand.

"Yeah," James said emptily.

"And Arimala? Did she try talking to you?" Elias asked.

"Sometimes, yeah," James said. "She was just taunting. Or explaining what she was... was going to do."

Elias seemed to pause to think through his next question, and he glanced back at James, his hesitation lasting even longer when he noticed that blood dripping down his hand. That seemed to warrant Elias now giving James his full attention since he repositioned himself, swinging a muddy shoe over the wagon so he could angle himself to see James.

"I'm guessing you needed something to do with your hands?" Elias asked, his eyes flicking between James and his bloodied hands.

James blinked, looking up at Elias, then down at his own hands.

He guessed he hadn't realized just how much he'd been picking at them. He thought he'd just picked off a scab, but now the scrape was fully reopened and freely bleeding. It looked irritated.

It hurt, but the pain felt... normal.

"...Maybe," James said.

He felt like he should clean his hands or something. Blood was all over his fingers.

"Maybe you should get a, uh... rag or something. To stop the bleeding," Elias suggested.

"I think there's something I could use in that bag over there," he said, gesturing loosely to the bag Elise and Mel usually left behind with 'just in case' items.

Elias followed his gesture, but then scanned the whole wagon, particularly the floors. He hesitated, but then swung his other leg over the wagon and wrestled both of his boots out, quickly untying them and then setting the boots over to the corner.

"Wouldn't want to track wet footprints everywhere. I stepped in a lot of muddy puddles," Elias said as he got up and sauntered to the bag, picking it up and then walking back to James, inviting himself over as he sat down next to him, continually repositioning himself to get comfortable.

"Alright. Let's see what's in here," Elias said idly as he ruffled through the bag. "Tons of medical supplies, I see... Aaaand here ya go."

He pulled out a clean rag and offered it to James.

"A future bloodied rag, just for you," he said.

"Thanks," James said, taking the cloth and pressing it against his hand. Now he had to focus on applying pressure as he held his hand up over his heart.

"Yeah. I get it. I'm asking tough questions, and you're feeling restless. It's no big deal. I understand," Elias said, patting his shoulder and then pulling away.

James only nodded again, though he found himself wondering if it was clear he did or not.

"Do you mind if I keep asking questions?" Elias asked.

James hesitated.

"...Okay," was all he said.

"What do you do when you're thinking big thoughts but feeling restless? You can't walk or move around, and you're alone a good bit. So, do you always pick at your scabs like that?" Elias asked.

"Not... not always," James said. "I lose focus a lot. I'm not quite asleep, but... I'm not really awake either."

"So, kind of like daydreaming?"

"I don't really think of anything," James said. "I kind of just let my mind go blank, I guess."

Elias quietly hummed, pulling a leg closer to him so he could set his elbow on top. "Is that how you felt with Arimla?"

"I... I guess."

"Even when you died?" Elias pressed.

James tried to come up with an answer. But it felt like every muscle in his body decided to stop responding.

He felt frozen. Stuck. His joints felt locked - no, locked down - and there was a creeping chill that settled over him, crawling down his back.

A scalpel. The cold fingers of death. He could hear his heart pounding, beating violently in his ears. His heart was racing. It felt like it was going to burst out of his chest so much that it hurt.

There was a deafening ringing in his ears, and everything in his sight was blurred and unfocused. For a moment, he couldn't even remember where he was.

Elias's voice cut through like a knife.

"I miss you."

James jumped, still holding his hands up by his chest, but bringing them closer as his eyes refocused on Elias.

Elias was in front of him. Watching him.

As James stared, he caught what looked like a look of understanding. Then Elias offered a small smile.

James's heart was still pounding. He felt shaky.

"Sorry," James said, barely audible.

"No need," Elias said, the relief present in his voice and smile. "I'm glad you're back."

James hummed faintly in affirmation, but it still felt like his vocal cords were tied up in knots.

"Whatcha thinking about?" Elias asked curiously, still watching him.

James tried not to think about how much it felt like his chest was going to explode.

"Dying," he said.

"Like, right now?" Elias asked.

"N-no," he pushed out.

"Ah," Elias said with a nod. "Does it hurt to remember that?"

It felt like such a simple question. And yet he didn't know how to answer.

"...Yes?" he said.

"What does that even feel like? To die?" Elias asked with a tilt of his head.

James swallowed.

"Everything's just... gone," he said faintly.

"Hmm." Elias slowly scooted back to side by James's side again. "That seems quiet."

"It is," James said. But quiet wasn't the word for it.

It was like he'd been ripped in and out of existence. How was he supposed to describe what it felt like to wake up after that? What it felt like to constantly be thrown back and forth between life and death? The pain was numbing. It was agonizing. It was exhausting.

"I can stop with the questions. Sorry. I hope this helped... although, I'm not sure if it did. If you wanted to share anything else, I'm happy to listen. But I could also offer advice, if that's something you want. Or we could talk about something less deadly," Elias said. "Dealer's choice."

James's thoughts felt too scrambled and distant to pin down. He felt like any time he grabbed for one, it'd slip out of his hands.

He didn't feel like himself. Words weren't coming easily.

"I think... I need a moment," he said quietly.

"Oh, yeah, sure," Elias said eagerly, then paused as he glanced back at him. "Do you need some kind of distraction while you think?"

James glanced down at his hands. He was still holding his left hand, which had been the one that was bleeding.

"No," he said.

"Alright."

Elias then slid down the wall of the wagon until he was laying on his back. He bent his arms and placed one hand below his head, his other hand set on his chest. His knees were bent, with one leg crossing the other. Elias was fidgetey and made some noise, but otherwise didn't say anything else.

James wasn't really sure how long they spent sitting in silence, or how long it took for the haze in his mind to clear, but it felt like he'd finally gotten his head over the waves long enough to get a breath.

He looked over at Elias, who was drumming his hands against his chest and staring up at the tarp, lost in thought.

"Thank you," James finally said. "For being open to talking about it. I... hope it wasn't too much."

Elias faltered, his attention broken as he glanced back at James with a small smile, slowly sitting back up.

"Nah, you're fine. I wish I was more helpful, but I know these kinds of things take time," he said.

"It's-- don't worry about it," James said quickly. "I didn't expect you to fix anything."

"Fix?" Elias said with a raised brow and then let out a loose laugh, shaking his head as he positioned himself to sit next to James again. "I wasn't trying to fix you, James. I don't think this is something that can be fixed. This lives with you now, and you're a changed person. I was just trying to help you process and make sense of it all."

James hummed.

"I guess fix was the wrong word, but," he cleared his throat. "Thanks. Again."

"Yeah, anytime," Elias said, offering another smile. He hesitated. "Did you want to talk some more?"

"I don't think so," James said. "Not at the moment. I feel like I only just got my bearings again. I don't know if I'm ready to... you know."

"That's fine. We can go back to you watching me step in puddles while you continue to gather your bearings, if you'd like."

"Yeah," James said softly. "I'll live vicariously through you as you do so."

Bo's eye shot open.

Something was burning.

"Wake up! Mage hunters!" Alistair loudly screamed, terror in his voice.

Bo was on his feet in an instant. His eye immediately adjusted to the darkness and he saw Alistair, standing behind a wall of fire that circled around the edge of the camp. On the other side of the flames were a dozen figures, shadows dressed in black in the dark of night.

Bo felt a familiar rush of adrenaline as his senses snapped into focus.

There were thirteen assailants.

He could take on that many. He had to before things got messy. Before anyone got hurt. Or killed.

Bo darted past Alistair and jumped through the flames.

"Bo?!" Alistair yelped. But Bo paid him no mind as the wall of flames crackled behind him and he landed right in the center of the group of mages that was scrambling to get around the flames.

Bo had a second where they jumped in surprise. He seized it.

Electricity charged from his chest and pulsed down his arms, crackling with a vibrant blue light. He dashed to the side of the hunters just in time to catch six of them lined up perfectly.

Lightning shot out of his arm and burst through each of them, sending a pulse down the electric current with each connection. The bodies fell to the forest floor a second later, and Bo turned to the others.

With a point of his fingers, lightning shot out, hitting two more that were bunched together.

There were so many smells intermingling.

Fire. Smoke. Death. Fear.

He ducked, sensing something fly through the air. He heard it whizz past him.

Thirteen minus eight. There were five left.

Something snapped overhead, and he launched himself up into the tree, jumping up next to someone who'd perched in the branches, hidden from sight. They whirled around with a yelp, but it was cut short when his hand touched their shoulder.

Their body shook for a moment as electricity coursed through them, and then it went stiff, falling to the ground.

Four.

From overhead Bo could see someone running between the trees, trying to get cover. With a point of his finger he sent a stream of electricity just ahead of their steps. It reached them with a pulse of energy, and the shadow of their body convulsed before it toppled over.

Three.

Bo leaped out of the tree, his feet hitting the dirt with a thud as he propelled himself into a sprint, following the foreign scent of the hunters, and the lingering smell of lumshade. It was faint, but he could always pick up on it.

It was bitter. Sickly sweet.

There were two people running. Bo knew that if he hesitated, it was possible they would get away. And if they got away, they'd only come back with more.

His long legs carried him faster. And faster.

He was gaining on them, but they were still ahead of him. He spun his hands together in front of him, creating a ball of pulsing energy between his hands. For just a second, he let the energy build, letting the ball grow and spark before he finally released it with a loud crack.

It hit just between the both of them, and they fell, electricity still crackling over their bodies for a second as they rolled to a stop.

Bo bounded past them.

One. There was one more. But he couldn't sense them.

Had they already run away?

Bo began to slow to a stop, trying to hone in his senses.

Death. Lumshade. Smoke. Smoke.

Bo cursed under his breath, turning around to run back to the camp.

Everything was on fire.

He pushed himself to run at full speed, and he didn't begin to slow himself until he leaped back through the fire, rolling back into the camp that was now surrounded in a ring of flames.

Immediately, eyes turned to him as he came to a stop and looked up, seeing Jordan was already on his feet, using the water they had to try and douse the flames. Raj was up as well, rolling the earth over the fire to suffocate it.

Bo looked to his left, and saw Alistair and Clandestine were lying limp on the ground. Everyone in the camp was awake, and most were on their feet already, coughing as the smoke filled the air.

Bo hurried over to find Mel and Elise, but they had already spotted Clandestine and Alistair. Bo wordlessly directed them over, telling them to make sure they were okay.

"Boss!" Hendrik yelled through a cough across the camp as the smoke thickened from the flames being smothered. "Status report. Who's after us?"

Bo had just sprinted a mile. And currently, he was trying not to take deep breaths and inhale all of the smoke in the air.

He held up his pointer finger to ask for a minute as he leaned forward, hacking out a cough.

"They're gone," Bo said.

And it seemed that was enough. The smoke was becoming unbearable, and the two of them resorted to coughing as Jordan and Raj quickly ran around, trying to put the fire out as quickly as possible.

Raj resorted to being less discreet - there was going to be a mess left behind regardless - so he started flipping table-sized chunks of earth, uprooting trees and burning shrubs in the process.

It resulted in the fire being put out in under a minute. But it also left mounds of overturned earth and fallen trees around them. That was, however, better than being surrounded by smoke and flames.

The moment the the last of the flames were smothered, Makiel groaned and spun around, using his air magic to cause a heavy gust of breeze to push away the smoke. The wind was fierce for a few seconds, but then dissipated - along with the smoke as it traveled up in the air.

"I hate dirty air," was all Makiel grumbled when he finished, leaving the camp site open for everyone to see and breathe normally.

Bo finally allowed himself to take in a deep breath.

But the moment didn't last long, because with the smoke now gone and with everyone finally regaining their breath, the massacre in front of them was blatantly obvious.

"Holy shit! Are they all dead?" Hendrik asked, already on the move to take the nearest mage hunter's pulse.

All but one.

"Yes," Bo said.

He looked over to Alistair and Clandestine again. Mel caught his eyes, giving Bo a signal that they were alright. It must've just been lumshade. It looked like Clandestine was already starting to stir again. The other Mel had run up next to Elise, presumably to see if Alistair and Clandestine were okay.

Bo scanned the camp, looking for everyone else to make sure no one was missing.

Makiel, Raj, and Jordan were still doing some damage control. Makiel was clearing the air more, and some smoke still lingered.

By the wagon, he could see Eve and Adina stepping out. Bo knew Elias and James were probably still inside.

"Affirmative," Hendrik said, confirming that the mage hunter was dead. He slowly stood up, glancing at the other dead bodies. "You used your electric magic?" he asked Bo, the skepticism apparent in his voice.

"Yes," Bo said.

His heart was still beating fast.

"One of them got away," Bo said. "I don't know where they went, but they won't be coming back alone. If they have reinforcements nearby they probably went to recoup. We'll need to move. Anyone nearby would've seen the fire."

"Understood. Let's pack it up and leave," Hendrik said with a brisk nod, understanding the severity of the situation. He was already moving, taking the iniaitive to roll up bed rolls and equipment for others.

Bo began to do the same.

"We need to get moving," he announced, louder for everyone to hear. "There might be more of them nearby."

No one argued with him as they all hurried to get their things together. Bo helped Jordan and Raj to take care of buring the bodies as quickly as possible, while he put Hendrik in charge of making sure everyone was alright and ready to go the moment they got back.

Elias ended up joining them as they collected the bodies of the fallen hunters. He asked if they were all going in the same grave. The simple answer was no. Raj quickly dug up 12 graves while Elias, Jordan, and Bo put the bodies in each one.

There were many unspoken questions that hung in the air with a tension. Bo could feel it in the way Jordan looked at him, or the way that Hendrik raised his brow. But no one said anything. Not yet.

When all of the bodies were in the ground and Bo returned to the camp, everyone was on their mounts, or in the wagon. Elise informed him that Alistair was in the wagon, and that no one else had been hurt or hit besides Clandestine (also in the wagon) who was already conscious, but still out of it.

Bo nodded, and the rest of them got ready to go. Bo took lead driving the wagon, and as he hopped up, he could hear Alistair starting to babble - nearly incoherent.

He sounded scared, but James and Eve were responding to his questions and worries. He let them take care of it for the moment.

And then they were off.

Bo led the way as they traveled into the night.

They'd hitched Bongo to the wagon, since the load of people inside had grown. Hendrik sat next to Bo in the front bench while everyone else took to riding one of the horses. Adina had stepped out of the wagon to ride her pony. Makiel had managed to tame Sylvie the griffin enough for her to tolerate him riding her as well.

For a few hours, they rode hastily in silence. Even the pigs trailing behind their bizarre caravan kept their mouths shut, refraining from their usual faint oinking. Higgins, the giant fox, trailed behind.

Their compromise for the night was that everyone crammed into the back of the wagon to sleep. Except Hendrik, who insisted on staying up, and Bo.

No one seemed to object to it, since everyone seemed exhausted - even thought it meant they were all crammed back there like a dogpile.

When the sky started to get a little lighter, hinting at the sunrise, Hendrik finally broke the silence beside him.

"Got a particular location in mind, boss?" Hendrik asked, voice quieter than usual to not wake the others.

"There's a small base we can shelter in for a day," Bo said back, matching the hushed tones. "It's nearby. We should get there by the time the sun is up, and then Bongo can rest and we can all catch up on sleep."

"That's good. He'll need that, after lugging everyone. It's safe, I assume?" Hendrik said.

"About as safe as it can be," Bo said. "We'll still have to keep watch."

Hendrik nodded. "The last hunter might catch up to us someday. We have to be diligent."

"That we will," Bo agreed.

"What'd you do? Electrocute them all?" Hendrik asked, asking more specific questions now.

Bo glanced over at him.

"Yes," he said quietly.

"Awfully fast of you. I didn't know you could do that," Hendrik said, the skepticism returning in his voice.

It didn't sound like he didn't believe him. But Bo could tell that Hendrik knew he wasn't saying all the details.

"I don't like to publicize it," Bo said, wondering if Hendrik was going to push more.

"What? That you could mass murder people instantly?" Hendrik said with a raised brow.

"Especially not when you say it that plainly," Bo said.

Hendrik scoffed. "Don't know why you'd hide it. Did you do the same in the palace? Think of how much easier things could have gone. We wouldn't have had to be as careful."

"I was trying to be discreet," Bo said. "And we still would have had to be careful. I do have powerful magic, but I'm not invincible."

"No, but don't you think it's unfair to send someone less powerful than you to do the dirty work, when you could do it far easier, faster, and cleaner?" Hendrik pushed.

Bo glanced at Hendrik again, his gaze severe.

"You suggest I work alone?" Bo asked.

"Of course not. But you witheld your true potential from others. Think about how many heros are in this team. Everyone wants to do the right thing. Would it sit right with you knowing that someone with weaker magic would take on a difficult job and possibly get hurt, not knowing that you could do the same job with little to no difficulty?" Hendrik said.

Hendrik seemed to be coming at this from a group mindset. But more than anything, Hendrik was thinking like a soldier. Send the strongest people out to do the hardest job, diversify and delegate tasks based on strengths.

But behind it all, Bo could sense Hendrik was masking his offense that Bo hadn't been as upfront about his magic and strength. He didn't like that he'd been kept out of the secret.

"To what are you referring?" Bo asked.

It sounded like Hendrik was thinking of an example in particular.

Either he was exclusively thinking about the palace, or--

Hendrik sighed. "I'm not referring to a specific instance, boss. But you are our leader. I expected you to be more honest about what your strengths are. Think about how others could be hurt from this lack of truth. You are concerned of your image, but in my eyes, admitting you have strong magic only makes you stronger. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

So that's what this was all about.

He could understand Hendrik's appeal. But he was missing the most important piece.

Bo sighed, knowing in his gut that he was going to have to explain this not only to Hendrik, but to everyone... wasn't he?

"It's not about shame," Bo said. "Or secrecy for the sake of modesty."

He took in a deep breath.

"Hendrik, I'm not just a mage," Bo said. "A normal mage's magic can be very powerful, but would never be equal to mine. Not because I'm haughty. But because I'm a dragon."

Hendrik slow-turned to stare at Bo, not really showing much expression. "A dragon," he repeated, still skeptic.

"I know you're still new to Nye, and you may not fully understand the weight of what that means in this world," Bo said. "But I've had to keep my magic and my true nature a secret because the world we live in is dangerous. You've seen how hostile it is to mages. But dragons are the most powerful beings in the world. If anyone knew I was one, there would be a target on my head bigger than any criminal or any mage in the world. Everyone would be looking for me, because common belief holds that if you kill a dragon, you can steal their power."

A pause.

"Which isn't exactly how it works, but it's hard to kill a myth once it's been ingrained into human culture for centuries," Bo said.

"Hmph. I see," Hendrik said, turning his attention back on the trail. "I understand why you'd keep it a secret, then. Apologies for doubting you, boss."

Bo was quiet for a moment as he observed Hendrik. It seemed that with that short explanation, Hendrik was... back to normal. All signs of suspicion were gone.

That was... strange.

"You... don't have any questions?" Bo asked.

Hendrik seemed to mull it over. "Just one," he said. "And it's more of a request. If you have a dragon form, please do not change back and forth with no warning like Robin does. It's so jarring and strange."

Bo grinned.

"I can do that," he said.

A beat of silence.

"I do," he added. "Have a dragon form, by the way."

"What's that look like?" Hendrik asked.

"Well... do you know what a dragon looks like?" Bo asked. "Do they not have those on earth?"

"Not really. They exist in children's books, but I don't know too much about it," Hendrik said.

Bo huffed.

"Children's books," he said. "Such a strange world you come from. But I guess if dragons were fictional where you come from, I can see the appeal for children, maybe..."

He shook his head.

"Though, dragons aren't exactly cute and cuddly," Bo said. "For reference, my dragon form is massive, scaly, and shimmers when it catches light. Horns. Wings. Sharp teeth. Think more reptilian in the facial features, I suppose."

"How adorable," Hendrik said flatly, eyes still focused ahead of him.

"Most people are terrified of me when they see it," Bo said. "But maybe you'll be immune because of your magic."

He smirked and elbowed Hendrik lightly in a teasing manner.

Hendrik glanced back with a raised brow, still serious. "You really think I can tame you?"

Bo had to suppress a laugh.

"Not tame," Bo said. "I was talking more about... you know. I don't see you pissing yourself like half the people I meet in that form do."

"Hmph. I'm flattered," Hendrik said again, still unimpressed.

"Sorry," Bo said with a weak laugh. "I'll let you know, though, if I ever need to shift. But the likelihood is very low. It's hard to shift into my dragon form unnoticed."

"Much appreciated, boss."

"Sure," Bo nodded, and he let silence fall between the two of them for a moment.

There wasn't as much tension hanging in the air as before. But it didn't quite feel like things had been... resolved.

"Are you sure there's nothing else you want to ask?" Bo asked, opening it up once more.

Hendrik seemed to think it through again, although his expression was still serious and fairly stoic.

"Is there anything else I should know?" Hendrik asked.

Bo huffed through his nose.

"Well, I suppose it's not that relevant. But because I'm a dragon," Bo said. "I'm a lot older than I look, actually. Dragons age much slower than the average human."

"Well?" Hendrik said in the pause that followed. "How old are are you, then?"

"93," Bo said.

Hendrik hummed. "That's quite a number of years you've lived."

"Yeah," Bo said. "All 93 of them."

"I see. Noted," Hendrik simply said.

"I'll be 94 in the spring," Bo said. "I'm thinking at 100, though, I'll do something to celebrate. You get to be old enough, you don't really care for birthdays as much. But 100 will be a pretty big milestone."

Bo hummed.

"Maybe I'll go on a long vacation," he hummed.

"Looking for a partner? I'll be turning 50 when you turn 100. It can be a vacation for old men," Hendrik said, although he didn't crack a smile when he said it.

Bo snorted.

"An old man vacation," Bo said. "When you say it like that, it sounds like we'll be sitting around playing chess and drinking tea or something."

"What, is that how you treat your vacations?" Hendrik asked.

"Well... I do like tea," Bo admitted. "I'm terrible at chess, though."

"Interesting you're bad at chess. It's basically like war," Hendrik said, offering no other elaboration.

"I don't think the two of those directly correlate," Bo said. "I've been fighting for decades, sure. But that doesn't make me a master board-game strategist."

Bo looked at Hendrik.

"Do you play chess?" Bo asked.

"When I was younger. Not so much now. Interestingly, I consider it a young person game," Hendrik said.

"I find it amusing that, despite all of the differences between Earth and Nye, there's still a lot of cross-over," Bo said. "Your world doesn't have dragons. But it has chess. Isn't that something."

"Sure is strange. Could be the gods messing with us." Hendrik paused. "But, if dragons are gods here, then I don't think that's true. Unless you do have something to do with us being on Nye?"

"I really don't," Bo said.

But he did wonder. He wasn't involved in their cross-world travel. But no one had heard from or seen the time dragon in decades.

"I can make lightning and thunderstorms," Bo said. "And throw electrical currents around. But I can't travel between worlds."

"Shame. Not that I'd want to go back, anyways. Perfectly happy where I am. But I suppose this will forever be a mystery," Hendrik said.

"I suppose so."

And at that, they fell back to silence, and it seemed that a weariness began to wash over them both as the sun started to rise.

Bo could start to feel the exhaustion seeping in as they finally rode up to the base, and he had to steel himself for another potentially long conversation before they were all finally able to get some real rest.

Bo woke Raj up first. This base was underground like many of the others, and he opened up the earth into the bunker. This one wasn't as nice at the one they'd been to before - less amnemities, more open space - but it was safe, and they could hide out for at least 24 hours while they recovered from the tiring journey through the night.

They got the animals situated in the main room first. Raj opened up some of the vents and airways (and at this rate, Bo could see that he was exhausted as well from having to use so much of his magic), and once the animals settled into their temporary underground residence, Bo dismissed almost everyone to go get some real sleep - since he was aware almost everyone had been restless through the night either from nerves or how crowded it had been in the wagon.

The only people he held back were those who didn't know he was a dragon. He knew those who knew didn't seem to need an explanation for how quickly he dispatched of the hunters. But those who didn't still had questions.

Mel, Makiel, Adina, Jordan, and Alistair stood with him in the main room. Everyone else had split off into the small bedroom lining the halls, quick to lie down and get some sleep.

They all looked to him expectantly, and he finally told them the truth. After adding what felt like the longest qualifier possible, he finally said:

"I'm a dragon."

And, as expected, everyone stared at him.

"What! A dragon?! No way! Are you really?" Mel said at the reveal, her eyes sparkling with wonder.

Bo sighed.

Adina and Jordan looked like they had been rendered speechless, and Makiel didn't have much of a reaction. He was merely paying attention.

"Yes. Really," he said, mustering a smile.

"Wow!" Mel breathed out, and then went on to to ask the same questions that everyone else had asked him before.

His other form. Special powers. Who else knew. His age. So on and so forth. Bo made sure to emphasize why this was important to keep secret and that no one outside of their group could know, not even people they met at New Haven.

"So... fire. Are you immune?" Alistair asked when there was a lull in questions.

"Resistant," Bo said. "Immune to lightning and any sort of electrical currents, though. As you might expect."

Alistair nodded slowly. "Yeah... that makes sense."

Mel opened her mouth to speak again, but Alistair beat her to it.

"Sorry about all that. I know I've apologized so many times already. But sorry if the fire made things more difficult for you," Alistair blurted out.

"Don't worry about it," Bo said. "I'm just glad nobody got too hurt and everyone's alright."

"Yeah, don't worry about it, Ali!" Mel said, wrapping her arm around him for a quick half-hug. "Bo was quick to respond anyways, and he's fire-resistant! Oh, that reminds me..."

Mel and Alistair carried on with more questions. But it was mostly Mel who supplied them. Adina seemed eager to stay around for answers, but Bo could see Jordan and Makiel were quickly losing interest as their exhaustion began to set in now that the news had been delivered. Bo interrupted the slew of questions to dismiss everyone to go to bed.

Bo planned on keeping first watch and waking a few of the others in increments. When he walked back up to the surface, he found Elias perched in a nearby tree.

Bo looked up at him.

"Not tired?" Bo asked.

Elias glanced down at him. "I'd rather be outside," he said instead.

Bo hummed.

"Me too," he said.

Bo always felt a little claustrophobic underground. He'd grown more used to it over the years, but he still didn't love it.

"If you need to rest," Bo said. "I'll be keeping watch for a while it you'd rather nap out here. But if not maybe you can help me stay awake."

"Didn't you stay up all night?" Elias asked.

"Aside from the first few hours of sleep I got, yes," Bo said with a small wave of his hand. "But first watch is nice because I can ride the rest of this second wind and then I get to sleep uninterrupted."

"Is everyone taking turns keeping watch today?" Elias asked.

"No," Bo said. "I don't think everyone's going to sleep that long anyway."

"Alright. Why don't I keep watch and you go to sleep?" Elias offered.

Bo could sense that Elias was testing him.

"I appreciate it," Bo said. "But I do want to stick with the buddy system we've been doing. Just in case. We're still not out of the woods yet."

"Alright. But let me know if you change your mind," Elias said, but then swung himself down from the tree and jumped down from it.

He looked out in their surroundings, thinking and lost in thought. Maybe he was thinking of going for a run, but thought better of it.

It appeared that Elias was getting better at climbing. Still chasing that dream to climb a mountain, it seemed. But Bo knew it wasn't just a dream to climb a mountain for the sake of climbing a mountain.

For the last few weeks, Bo had been sensing that Elias had begun to resent his presence. Maybe resentment was too strong of a word for it - but any time Bo was around, Elias tried to keep his distance.

As Bo watched Elias, it was as if Bo could watch his wheels turning.

Elias was wishing for a way out, and Bo stood in the way of that. Didn't he?

"How far can I go? Do I need to stay near the cave?" Elias asked, turning his attention back to Bo.

"Are you wanting to go for a run?" Bo asked.

"Maybe... or should I not?"

"I am worried about mage hunters catching up to us," Bo said honestly. "But if you want to run, I'd be fine if you stayed close and just ran around the base. I just wouldn't want you too far for anyone to help if something happened."

Elias only seemed to be half paying attention, his gaze fixed on a tree somewhere behind the cave.

"I think I'll just climb a different tree," he said instead, loosly pointing ahead as he walked away. "I'll be over there."

"Alright," Bo said simply.

And at that, Elias departed, and Bo was left alone.

Relatively alone, of course, but... gods, was he tired.

He didn't know what to do anymore. Now, everyone knew he was a dragon. Elias was one bad day from running away. Everyone was depending on him to get them to the base safely, now that they all had some kind of bounty on their heads with the mage hunters. Their safety was so fragile, and he didn't know how long he could keep leaving a trail of bodies behind before people put two and two together.

Even if the mage-hunters didn't think he was a ]dragon, they now knew he was an extremely powerful mage.

When they returned, it would be with everything they had. And Bo knew they'd target him first. Him. Eve. James. Because apart from him, they were the only ones with the ability to change the tides of an entire battle in a mere moment.

And he didn't want to think about how it'd affect the others, but he knew he had to consider what might happen if something did happen to him, and the others were left alone.

He was going to have to have some very difficult conversations with Mel and Raj in particular about what it would look like if Bo was out of the picture.

Bo let out a deep sigh, clearing his head for just a moment as he listened to the birds. To the scittering of animals in the trees. And to the distant sound of Elias climbing a tree.

It had been a few days since the attack. The next day was tough since they had to move through the night and recoup during the day, but after that, things seemed to resume to normal.

Elise was glad for it. She was worried sick for Bo, who revealed to everyone that he was a dragon. It must not have been easy to suddenly disclose a terrifying secret to everyone he didn't want to tell, and to only do so because of him taking care of the mage hunters... Elise empathized with him, trying to encourage him to talk and release any stress. Although, she didn't need to try so hard since Bo was easy to talk to, and he also had Mel and Raj to talk with as well.

Elise took solace in taking care of others. James was doing really well now. He was no longer bed ridden, able to stand and walk around for short periods of time. He wasn't able to hike with everyone else, but Elise still celebrated this with him, telling him how proud she was to see his progress. At the rate he was going, he should be able to physically acclimate in New Haven alright.

Alistair seemed to feel incredible guilt that he caused the forest fire. Elise and many others assured him many times that no one blamed him, and it was not his fault. Elise didn't think he totally believed it, so she tried to give him small reminders every day that everyone appreciated him. Fortunately, Clandestine seemed to bounce back quickly from the attack, and she was a good friend for him.

Raj was also there for Alistair. Elise felt bad that had inadvertently wormed her way in to be friends with Mel and Bo, and she wondered if she had made Raj feel like she took his place. She swatted the thought away, figuring she was overthinking it. Elise was glad that everyone had someone, and she was even more glad that she was friends with Bo and Mel.

Outside of attending to other's needs, Elise usually spent her time with them - and, of course, Elias. At least, the little time that he allowed her to.

It was getting difficult for him to talk to her at all. She had to initiate everything, keep the conversation going, and find a reason for him to stay with her. Elise didn't want to feel desperate, but she was starting to feel that way. At the same time, she didn't want to push him. The one time she did, it felt like he shut down on her.

They were talking about the ingredients in the soup they had for dinner, and when that conversation quickly turned stale, Elise decided to just ask him a burning question.

"I know it hasn't been an easy past few weeks. With you going into the palace, and the attack that just happened... there must be a lot going through your mind," Elise said gently. "I'll always be here for you. You know that, right? I'll always listen to whatever you want to share."

Elias was quick to stare down at the ground, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. "I know," he said softly.

"Do you want to talk about any of it?" Elise asked, still gentle as she peered at him with concern out of love.

"I really appreciate all you do for everyone, sis," Elias said, which was the most sentimental thing he had said to her for weeks. "And for me too. I'm just having a bad day. I'm sorry."

Elise hesitated. "You don't have to apologize, Elias. No amount of bad days will change my mind."

"I know."

There was a lingering pause as Elise debated to push it once more. She swallowed.

"Elias... are you sure you're alright?" she asked quietly, voice wavering.

Elias placed a hand on her knee, offering a small reassuring smile. "I'm fine. I'm not going to do anything rash. Don't worry about me. Alright?"

Elise didn't push it anymore. He seemed genuine, but at this point, she didn't know any more. And she had a feeling that if she pushed further, he would begin to push her away. And that was the last thing she wanted.

She didn't know what happened, but their relationship had turned so fragile. And she wasn't sure what to do about it. She could only hold on to her hope and keep trying to mend it.

There was a never-ending pang of anxiety that involved Elias, but Elise was glad that she didn't have to hold it in for herself. She had others to vent to, and others to share her frustrations with.

That evening, Elise was paired with Bo to keep the first watch. She was glad that she could stay up with her friend and chat with him while the others slept, although she was careful to not speak too loud, while also keeping diligent watch. Elise felt a little more on edge with what happened a few days ago.

So she was surprised when Bo offered that they take a short walk so they could talk more openly.

"Are you sure?" she whispered, glancing back at the camp. "Don't you think we should... stay nearby?"

"I can sense if anyone or anything gets close," Bo whispered in return. "We don't have to go that far."

Elise nodded. Right. Sometimes, she forgot that he was a dragon with insane senses.

"Alright," she said as she got up. "I trust you."

Bo led the way behind some trees, zig-zagging around for a bit. As promised, they didn't go far at all. They traveled just enough for them to be out of earshot so they didn't have to whisper.

Bo let out a long sigh as he came to a stop, putting his hands in his pockets as he looked up through the trees at the starry night sky.

"So," he said. "How are you hanging in there?"

Elise smiled. It was very Bo to take her somewhere more private just so he could ask about how she was doing. He was very good at getting to know someone in a more personal level like that.

"I'm hanging on, I think," she said. "More stressed than usual, after what happened a few days ago. But I'm glad things seem to be returning to normal. But - what about you? Are you hanging in there?"

Bo let out a very weak, tired laugh.

"It's been a while since I've had this many things to worry about," Bo said.

"It is a lot... and I know a thing or two about worrying," Elise said. "You know that you don't have to worry by yourself, though."

"I know," Bo said.

"What's on your mind?" Elise asked.

Bo rubbed the back of his neck, looking down at the ground.

"Mind if I sit?" Bo asked.

"Oh, yes. Of course," Elise said as she motioned for him to sit, sitting down as well.

He plopped to the ground with a little grunt, leaning forward to rest his arms on his propped up knees.

"I've never had this many people who knew," Bo said. "About me being a dragon. For the longest time, it was just Mickey and I."

"It is scary," Elise said, empathizing with him. "You've held that secret for so long. It feels like it's more out of your control."

"I can't help but feel like I should've been more careful," Bo said. "Like... I should've just come up with a lie. It's not like I haven't done it before."

"What stopped you from lying?" Elise asked. "I ask because I think the situation would be different if you were with others you didn't know well. Maybe you don't fully trust everyone here in the same way you do with your closer friends, but I think you trust them more than you realize."

"I... I think this has all been a very different experience," Bo said. "I don't think you realize how unusual it is to go on a rescue mission into King's Peak - nevermind the palace."

Bo paused, and Elise could feel a weightiness on his words and the silence that followed.

"Only two teams prior have ever tried," Bo said. "And they never made it out."

"That's awful," Elise said quietly. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"Rescue missions are always high risk," Bo went on. "But this was... this was the riskiest one I've ever been on. And I know I might not have shown it much. But just because I'm a dragon doesn't mean I'm invulnerable. I'm just as susceptible to getting knocked out as the others. It takes more to keep me down, and I get back up faster, but in the palace... even a few seconds could have been enough. Because they'd have more lumshade at the ready."

"That's a scary thought. And I'm really glad that didn't happen," Elise said softly.

"Yeah," Bo said. "I am too."

"With others now knowing you're a dragon... I hope they don't treat you as if you are invulnerable. You have a heavy weight on your shoulders, feeling as if you should protect others because you are capable of it. But we all have our limits. I hope others will come to realize that and not treat you any differently," Elise said.

"I don't know if it can be helped," Bo said quietly. "People have this way of... looking at dragons like we're gods. But we're really not. Yes, we do have this insane amount of power. And we live for hundreds of years. But we can still die..."

"You want to be treated like any other person," Elise said, understanding. "I don't think that's unfair to want."

"I know it's not unfair to want," Bo said. "I just... don't expect it. Or I'm not surprised when it doesn't happen."

"I'm sorry. That sounds so taxing," Elise said softy.

Bo sighed again, resting his cheek against his hand.

"I guess I'm only really experiencing it recently," Bo said. "Since, for so long, no one else really knew. So people did treat me more normally. So it's just... new."

"It is scary and difficult to navigate by yourself. But... maybe it's not so bad. Do you feel more free not having to keep a big secret about yourself from others?"

"Yes and no," Bo answered. "It feels like more of a burden for everyone to know."

"That's the yes part. What about the no?" Elise asked.

"There is a little relief in not having to hide certain things about myself," Bo admitted.

Elise offered a smile. "Well... at least there's a silver lining to all this, then."

"I don't have to explain why I know some things," Bo said. "Or sense things. Normally I have to come up with some other story or I just don't let on how much I know."

She nodded. "And you can be more of yourself with others, now."

Bo hummed.

"Maybe that's part of what's scary about it, too," he said faintly. "You know. The mortifying ideal of being known."

"Yeah... I can see that," Elise said. "But you want others to treat you like normal, right? Would you rather they treat you like... well, you know. As yourself?"

Bo let out a small laugh, rubbing his face.

"I'm not sure I understand the question," he said.

"Oh, sorry," Elise said sheepishly with a weak laugh as well. "I was thinking about what you said before, about how you wanted others to not treat you any differently. And you also mentioned that you'll feel more known and exposed, which is also scary. But then I thought... well, people know the true you now. Doesn't that mean that they'll treat you in a way that's more truthful?"

Elise rubbed her cheek, listening to herself speak and realizing that maybe she still didn't make any sense.

"I don't know if that made any sense. Sorry, I think my thoughts are scattered more than usual today," she said.

"No, it's alright," Bo said. "I think I've been a little scattered myself. But I think I understand what you're trying to say. I think I'm just currently trying to reconcile a lot of change at the moment in my head and in my emotions. There's a lot on my mind, and honestly, everyone knowing I'm a dragon isn't even at the top of the list. I'm more worried about our safety right now."

"That doesn't mean it doesn't deserve thought and attention," Elise said gently. "It's still scary. And I'm glad you told me, even if you feel like it's not a priority. It's still important to think through and process."

"Yeah," Bo said softly, turning his head to look at her, his cheek still squished against his hand as he held up his head.

"What's been on your mind lately?" Bo asked.

"Well..." Elise let her gaze fall down to her knees, which she brushed off. "I'm worried about our safety too. But... I'm also worried about Elias. But I know I always am. And I don't want to sound like I'm being redundant since I always bring him up when asked, but I do worry about him every day."

"I do too," Bo said quietly.

"Does he talk to you?" she asked.

Bo let out a sad sigh.

"I think he pushes me away more than he does you," Bo said. "I have a feeling even my mere presence stresses him out."

"I'm sorry. I wish I knew why," Elise said softly. "I talked to him today and asked him a few straightfoward questions. He gave me more sentimental answers than usual, but kept reassuring me he was fine. At what point do I believe him? Should I believe him?"

Elise let out a long sigh, already feeling defeated.

"I wish I knew what to do," she said quietly.

Bo was quiet for a while. He's shifted, looking out into the forest ahead of them with his hand holding his chin.

"I have a feeling he's waiting for us to lose patience," Bo said.

"I just can't fathom why," Elise said.

"Because then it would justify what he really wants to do," Bo said.

Elise was quiet, her gaze landing back on Bo as she waited for him to go on.

"He's setting himself on a path for self destruction," Bo said. "I think he's been pretending to be fine for a long time."

"When we reconciled a year ago, Elias broke down and told me everything he had been struggling with. We talked constantly. He seemed to be making genuine, positive progress. And I was so proud of the person he'd become. And then, just like that..." Elise rubbed her face, trying to steady her breaths. "It's like all the progress vanished over night, and he doesn't want to get better. I don't know what happened."

Bo was quiet again, and the silence that followed was sobering.

"I don't want to dismiss all of your efforts," Bo said. "And I'm sure there might've been some real progress. But in my experience... these things don't just go away. It's very possible much of his progress wasn't because things got addressed, but because they got ignored. And if he was just avoiding the problems he faces and the emotions tied to them, it's inevitable that they'd come back again. Especially in the face of pressure. And when they resurface, they can often come back just as strong or stronger than before. I have a feeling that Elias has been lying for a while, now, about how he's doing. I can't say how much of that has been intentional and how much he's been lying to himself too. But... as discouraging as it sounds, it's probably going to get worse before it gets better."

Bo turned to look at Elise, but she couldn't bring herself to face him. Not when she felt tears prick her eyes from the hard truths he just dropped on her.

A part of her knew already, a long time ago. But she didn't want to believe it. She wanted to believe that he was making true progress, especially since he genuinely seemed happy at the time.

"I know it seems hopeless," Bo said. "And it's been really, really hard. I know how much you love and care for your brother, and I know it hurts you to see him like this - pushing you away. Testing anyone who shows they care, even if they aren't aware of it. Irritable. Agitated. Isolating himself. Running himself ragged just to get a runner's high..."

Bo reached out and rested his hand on Elise's shoulder.

"I'm sure he's shared far more with you than he has with me," Bo said. "In a few conversations - that we had weeks ago, now - he hinted at a few things. But ever since then he's been looking for the quickest way out of any conversations with me."

Bo stopped. Elise felt like he was going to say more, but he stopped himself short, like he was correcting his course before he kept speaking. This short silence was enough for her emotions to get the best of her, and she wiped her eyes as a tear fell down.

Bo pulled her into a gentle hug. Elise tightly closed her eyes, sniffing into his shoulder, letting his clothes soak up the tears that kept coming.

"I haven't lost hope for him," Bo said quietly. "And I'm not giving up on him. Even if it takes years. Even if it takes decades. I meant it when I promised. I'm not giving up on him. And I won't give up on you, either, Elise."

Elise wished she could stop crying so that she could properly thank him or appreciate him in some other manner, but she knew that if she tried to speak, it would end up being a warbled mess.

Bo was still a new friend, and she didn't really know what sparked this devotion and promise, but she didn't question it. Elise was beyond grateful that Bo was listening and seemed to care just as deeply as she did. She wrapped her arm around his back, finally returning the embrace, even though it felt weak in comparison.

"Thank you, Bo," she said between sniffs as she finally wiped the last of her tears, feeling like she could catch her breath, even if it felt heavy.

Elise pulled away, looking up to meet his eyes, hoping that he could see how much she truly appreciated him. She didn't know what else to say. She felt spent. Spent, and so very, very grateful.

"I really appreciate you," she said quietly, wiping her face again with her sleeve, trying to more properly dry herself.

Bo offered her a handkerchief.

"I washed it," he said.

Elise stared at it for a moment, sniffling before she gingerly took it. "You only have one?" she asked meekly, slightly turning away to wipe her face and blow her nose into it.

"I mean, I have two," Bo said. "But the other one I used to blow my nose earlier. So."

"Oh..." Elise said as she wadded the handkie in her fist. "I hope... it wasn't because you were crying."

Bo's slight hesitation seemed to indicate he had, in fact, been crying. He seemed to be at a loss of words, wondering how to phrase the truth.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there to give you a hug as well," Elise said, offering a smile. "And a handkerchief."

Bo huffed softly, smiling in return.

"I'll take a hug now, if the offer still stands," he said.

Elise weakly laughed through her nose and then eagerly leaned in, wrapping her arms around his chest again.

"You're so quick to give others hugs and attention, but you deserve this too," she said with a gentle squeeze.

Bo patted her back lightly before he pulled away.

"Thanks," he said.

He looked down at the handkerchief in her hand.

"You done with that?" Bo asked, pointing at it.

Elise stared down at the balled-up hankie, hesitant to give it to him again.

"How about I clean it this time? I feel bad I keep using it," she said with a little laugh.

"You know what," Bo said. "I have two. How about you keep it."

Elise hummed. "Maybe I'll keep it on me on all times. Just in case you need it back."

Bo laughed quietly.

"Sure," he said. "I'll let you hold on to it for me, then."

Eve was usually already very careful, but after the attack that happened almost a week ago now, she grew especially wary.

She had been so focused on James, that she hadn't put as much attention to the general safety as a group. When the first attack happened in the middle of the night, Eve was slow to react, but she could have used her magic.

She didn't, because James told her that she didn't need to.

The conversation then was brisk, and it was so chaotic, she decided to listen to him and watch the events unfold. It wasn't until she could have a more private moment with him that she asked why.

"Why didn't you want me to use my magic?" Eve asked James quietly when they were alone in the caves that morning. "I know, we're all okay. And the hunters were taken care of. But if I went back, I would have been able to give Bo and the others a warning. Bo would be able to keep his secret, and the fire wouldn't have given away our location. We wouldn't have had to run through the night with fear."

"It's possible that a warning could have kept all those things from happening," James said. "But it's just as possible that the trouble would come anyway, and something else could happen that we'd want to avoid. I know things could have gone better, but I don't want you pushing yourself past your limits again just to avoid some discomfort. I don't want you to lose yourself again. I don't want to lose you. I... I need you."

I need you.

Eve didn't know what to say at the moment. At the time, she admitted that he was right, and it wasn't long until they succumbed to rest - but the thought still ate at her mind.

James said that he needed her and didn't want to lose her, but didn't he know that she felt the same about him?

It was hard to sleep that night. She hadn't even thought about the implications of her magic now, too blinded by the thought of being with James again. She had been afraid of being in love for years, knowing that it came with a loss of control. Now that she was reunited with him, she wondered if she was - again - losing her sense of control.

Did she want to control the events in her life or stay in love? Why did it have to be one or the other? Wasn't there a way to have both?

Eve had battled this question for so many years. She couldn't believe that it only dawned on her now, months after being on Nye.

It ate at her mind like poison for the next several days, and it was getting hard to not let it show. Eventually, James could tell something was wrong, so he asked what was on her mind while she was sitting with him on the wagon together. That was all Eve needed to spill everything running through her head.

"I can't help but remember what you were telling me yesterday. How you didn't want to undo the attack because you wouldn't want me to push past my limits, because you didn't want to lose me, and you needed me... And I know this already, but I can't help but remember all the times that this weighed heavily in my mind. For years, I tried to ask myself what was more important, and I thought having control over my life was more important - until you came back into my life, and I - I don't know. It's like it slipped out of my hands. And after you left a few months ago, it was like none of it mattered anymore. It was like the decision was already made: loving you will always be more important, even if it's at my own expense. But I hate not being able to control what happens, especially when it involves you. I need you, James. I don't want to lose you either. I don't want to give up my sense of control, but I also don't want to stop loving you."

By the end of her spiel, Eve found herself out of breath, knowing she had talked louder and faster with every passing second. She almost kept going, but bit her lip to stop, staring at James with worry and panic.

"You know," James said softly, reaching over to rest his hand over hers. "The funny thing about control is... I think we all struggle with wanting it. Everyone wants to feel like they have some sense of control over their life, and we all try in our own different ways. Your battle's only unique because you have the ability to do what so many people will only ever wish for. Most people don't get a choice in whether they have to face things that have happened. It just does, and whether they like it or not, they have to figure out ways to move forward."

He paused, glancing down at their hands for a moment before looking up to meet her eyes.

"And yet, even with your magic, there are always going to be things out of your control," James said. "No matter how hard we try, there will always be things that we have no say in. Sometimes, terrible things happen. But it doesn't make it your fault that they do. All you are responsible for is how you choose to respond once it has."

Eve swallowed thickly. James was right. He was always right when it came to these things.

"I know," she said, but she knew she was saying that to convince herself. "But I don't want to always accept it. I can't just stand by and watch something bad happen to you. I'd rather take action and stop it from happening."

James wrapped his hand around hers, his touch gentle as he squeezed her hand and met her eyes.

"It's not your fault," he said softly.

Eve stiffened. There were a number of events he could have been insinuating.

"You know... if something did happen..." she began lowly, staring down at their hands. "If something terrible were to happen... you know I would pick you, every time. You know that, right?"

"I've never doubted it," James whispered.

"You don't want me to lose myself. But I would do it again if it meant that you'll be okay. And--" Eve stiffly looked back up to firmly meet his eyes. "And I know you'd do the same, so I don't want to hear you saying I shouldn't. I know that you'd jump in many different dangerous situations if it meant saving me. But I'd always be the one preventing you from doing that in the first place."

James went quiet for a moment. He looked away, staring at their hands with a wearied sadness that grew to be normal. It made her sad every time, wishing that she could somehow speed his recovery and help him grow out of this smile.

"If I could do it all over again," James said quietly. "I never would have gone alone."

And she could hear the weight of regret behind his words.

"I don't want to lose my desire to protect and care for the people I love," James said. "But I don't want to keep facing things alone. All it's ever done is hurt the people I care about just as much, if not more, than if we'd faced it together."

Eve bit her lip, not sure if it was instinct, or because she wanted to hold her own words back, or if she wanted to cry from hearing him voice his regrets that did admittedly pain her.

"I was angry at you for so long for leaving me," she said quietly. "Yet, I still vowed to find you. And yet, my feelings for you don't change. I still love you all the same."

"And I love you," James said. "But I made a mistake. One that really hurt you. And I want to acknowledge it. I never got a chance to tell you..."

He looked back up with misty eyes.

"I'm so sorry," he said.

Eve rubbed her thumb against his hand, crouching forward and leaning her head in so it perched on his chest. She heavily sighed, suddenly feeling so spent.

"I forgive you, James. I always will," she said softly, staring down at their hands and giving his it a gentle squeeze.

James brought his other hand up behind her head, holding her close.

"Thank you," he whispered by her ear. He sounded relieved, to some degree. But she could still feel the regret he carried in those two simple words.

Eve stayed in his embrace for a while, still staring down at their hands as she gently rubbed her thumb across the back of his hand. This seemed to weigh heavily on James, and she was glad that she could give him closure, but she wasn't really sure if she felt relief too. It was a jumbled mess of emotions, but at its core, the most important thing is that she was here with James, and they could put this behind them.

"What are you thinking right now?" James asked softly.

"I'm... well, I'm not really sure. I'm just thinking of everything you said. Wondering how I should feel. I'm not sure if it's relief that I feel... but I'm still glad that we talked about this," Eve said, finally pulling away from his chest to sit up straight again.

"Do you want to try describing what you're feeling?" James asked, prodding gently.

Eve hesitated. It wasn't that she didn't want to share. It was more that she didn't even know how to describe it.

"It's a mess. Conflicted, I think. I'm not sure how else to describe it, but it's not bad, and I'm not bothered by it. It's a fleeting thought, really," she said.

"Conflicted about what?"

Eve sighed. "That you left me. I was angry, but I was also trying to help you, because I loved you so much. And honestly, the anger was contained and seemed to disappear the day I saw you. That's what I mean by conflicted. Isn't it strange that these two opposite emotions seem intertwined?"

"I don't think they're opposites," James said. "Anger always comes from a place of pain. And if someone you love hurts you, it's only natural to be angry."

"I suppose you're right," Eve said. "But you didn't hurt me. Not intentionally. It wasn't done out of malicious intent."

"Whether or not I meant to doesn't mean the pain isn't real," James said. "It's okay for you to be angry, Eve. It's not an evil emotion. And it doesn't mean you don't love me, either."

"I -- I know," she said quickly. "But I don't want to be angry at you. It's not like I'm withholding my feelings. You just... I don't know. I don't feel angry when you're here with me."

"When I'm present with you physically?" James asked. "Or has it felt like that ever since you got me out?"

Eve had to pause to think. Suddenly she wondered if what she said to James was even true. She was mad at him, right? When? The whole time? No... not the whole time.

"The latter, but also..." Eve trailed off, tilting her head up and narrowing her eyes to start that sentence again. "It's not consistent. Before we reunited, I would sometimes feel angry, yes. But not just that. There was also guilt and... well, I don't really know. But it was a mixed bag, and it would come and go. I haven't felt that way since you've been with me, though. I almost forgot about it completely, really. Until now."

James held her hand a little more firmly.

"I know that you're happy I'm here, and we're together," James said. "But I don't want you to - be it intentionally or subconsciously - sweep your feelings under the rug. I understand the euphoria that came when you saw me. I felt it too, when I saw you. But I want you to feel the freedom to feel your own emotions. You don't have to change them for me just to make things easier. I understand wanting to choose to forgive. And I am beyond grateful for that. But it's also okay to tell me if something hurt you. Or if you're angry with me. It's not going to scare me away."

"I know," Eve said, again realizing after she said it that she was trying to convince herself. "I want to be honest with you. I'm not trying to withhold anything from you. I try to tell you how I feel, especially if it bothers me. But... it doesn't always. Bother me, I mean. Sometimes I don't really understand how I feel, but then it goes away. I don't know. Like I said, it's sometimes just a fleeting thought, rather than an emotion."

James let out a small sigh, tilting his head slightly to the side as he looked at her.

"Have you been sharing any of this with anyone?" James asked. "Besides me? Before, when I was gone?"

Eve hesitated, maybe for longer than necessary since the silence seemed painfully obvious on what the answer was.

"No... well, a little. I told Elias a little bit of what was bothering me. That was weeks ago, though," she said quickly.

"Eve," James said gently. "You know I want to talk through and process things with you. I love you, and I'm always happy to. But I can't be the only one."

"I -- well -- what about you?" Eve sputtered out. "Do you share your thoughts and feelings with others?"

"I have... a little," James said more meekly. "With Alistair and Elias. I'm... still working up the courage to talk about everything. But I know I have friends I can lean on."

Eve was quiet for a moment. She would say she had also been working up the courage to talk to others, but that would have been a lie. She didn't even think there was much to share, really.

"Okay. Okay, I see what you mean," she said with a sigh. "Yes, sure. I can talk to others, if you find that valuable. But that doesn't mean I won't still lean on you and talk to you the most."

"I know," James said with a small smile, looking at her with a tender affection. "I just want you to have other friends too. I'm happy we have each other. But I hope some day you'll be able to see the value in having close friends as well. More than just a partner. I think it's good to have other people to talk to. They help you grow, and you get to learn from each other. And you'll be a gift to them too."

Eve knew that James was speaking from the heart and only wanted what was best for her, but she couldn't help but feel like she had disappointed him somehow. A knot twisted in her stomach as another small wave of complex emotions washed over her, but she pushed it down - knowing that doing so was exactly what James was telling her to avoid.

"Yeah... you're right. I know. You're right," she said softly instead.

James didn't say anything, but instead tilted his head, looking at her with searching eyes, his brows furrowed together in concern.

"What is it?" Eve said, growing uncomfortable. It was clear that he was expecting her to say something else.

"I don't want to berate you with questions. But it just... didn't feel right," he said.

"What doesn't feel right?" Eve asked.

"Your resigned agreement," he said. "I just want you to know if you disagree, or aren't sure about how you feel... you can say that. You don't just have to nod and say yes."

"I wasn't..." Eve sighed, trying again. "I agree with you. I voiced that. But... and I don't think it's fully necessary to disclose, but if it bothers you this much, and you want to know... I did feel disappointed." She paused. "I mean, I didn't feel disappointed. But I felt like you were. And your disappointment didn't disappoint me, but it did... make me hesitate. As you said. Agreement."

"I'm not disappointed in you," James said gently. "I'm really not."

"I just -- don't you think -- I don't know," Eve said with a groan, not really sure where this thought was going. She rubbed the bridge of her nose and sighed. "It's almost like... as if you want me to find new friends because you're, I don't know, tired of me. Or sick of me, or you think I'm too much, or -- you get the picture."

Eve grimaced, feeling like she was vomiting out the next slew of words.

"But -- I know you don't actually feel this way. It's all in my head, isn't it? I know I'm overthinking it. So why even bother voicing it when it's all a false narrative? Don't we all have fleeting thoughts sometimes? Really, James - everything's fine. I know you're wanting the best for me, and I do too. Want the best for you, I mean."

Well, that went terribly.

Eve had to stop herself from groaning out of embarrassment as she forced herself to stop talking, waiting in the agonizing short silence for James to finally respond.

"If I was struggling with suicidal thoughts again," James started quietly. "Even if I was able to reason them away - wouldn't you want to know?"

"Of course I do," Eve said soberly, feeling the weight of the conversation return.

"Even if you're able to be self aware that some of the things you're thinking or believing are wrong, I still want to know what's going on," James said. "I don't think it's good for anyone to be stuck in their head for too long. Especially if they're struggling. I still want to know, so we can acknowledge it, and replace the false narrative with truth. I think it helps to hear it from other people. Even if if means we have a lot of the same kinds of conversations over and over again."

Eve knew James was right, but she was hesitant to agree without it coming across as a "resigned agreement." Before she could get too far in her head, she decided to just blurt out her thoughts.

"So, how do I agree to that without it not feeling right? I don't want you to think I'm holding anything back, but I..."

Eve trailed off, feeling far too spent to pick this topic to death.

"I know. I'm overthinking this. I don't really know why this bothers me so much. It really shouldn't. I think my mind has been running in circles since yesterday. But I know you're right, James. And I appreciate it. I'll keep it in mind. I'm sorry, I'm not trying to cause an argument," she said with a sigh.

"It's okay," James said softly. "I'm sorry if this is hard to talk about. But I'm glad we are."

The conversation lulled to a natural end, but it kept going in Eve's head. It was a small flicker of a flame, at first. But then it grew and grew with every detailed fodder she gave it, and as the next two days passed, James's words really wormed her way through her head.

He wanted her to talk to more friends.

So. She would talk to more friends.

The next morning, Elise and Mel checked in on James again like usual. Since he was recovering and getting better every day, he was able to go on short walks now. They accompanied him for a morning stroll, insisting that it would be quick. Eve was welcome to join as well, but she decided to wait for James instead, using this time to talk to Adina.

"It's good to see him out and about," Adina said with a small smile. "I'm sure it's nice for him, too. Getting some of that freedom back."

"Yeah," Eve agreed, watching him hobble away with the doctors until he was out of view and earshot. "I think he was getting tired of being in the wagon all day, every day."

"I would too," Adina said. "I think I'd get antsy."

"Adina," Eve said as she finally tore her gaze away from where James was, facing her with sudden seriousness. "Would you get tired of speaking to the same person all day, every day, at the same spot?"

Adina looked over at her.

"...Would you?" she asked instead.

"No," Eve said simply, trying not to sound stubborn.

"I mean," Adina said. "I think I'd probably get bored of going to the same spot. Like, if that was the only place I ever was at all times."

"Alright. Say you're at a different spot. Would you still get tired?" Eve asked instead.

"Of the person? I don't think so," she said. "But I guess I'd just wonder... do you mean they're the only person I ever see? Like, ever?"

"No, you can see other people," Eve said, trying to be patient with the semantics of this made-up scenario.

"Oh, then that's totally fine," Adina said with a simple smile.

Eve let out a deep sigh and crossed her arms, deciding to say what was really on her mind.

"Well, James suggested I talk to more of my friends. I can't help but think that he's getting tired of me," she said lowly.

Adina hummed, leaning back on the edge of the wagon. She crossed her ankles, looking out at the forest.

"Well, I can't say I'm really mad at him," Adina said. "I'd love it if you talked to me more. Since I do like you a lot."

Eve hesitated, realizing she hadn't even considered the possibility from that perspective. She hadn't really considered how Adina would feel if Eve spent most of her free time with James - not out of necessity, but because she wanted to.

"I know you like James a lot," Adina added quickly. "But I have missed you, in a way. I know it's different, now that he's here. But I do miss us spending time together and all. I feel like it hasn't happened much since everything at the palace."

Eve slowly turned so she could sit at the edge of the wagon, sitting just at the edge of it so she could support herself with her legs.

"I'm sorry, Adina," she admitted sincerely. "That didn't even cross my mind. I miss you too. You're right, I should spend more time with you."

"I'm not angry at you or anything," Adina said softly, looking over at her with a timid smile. "And I know it doesn't have to be a competition of who gets to be with you more or whatever. I don't want to make it weird. But... I guess I've been meaning to tell you how much I appreciate you for a while."

Adina seemed to blush a little, like she was embarrassed.

"I don't know if it's weird to say," she said. "But... I don't know. I feel like you're the older sister I always wished I had."

Eve blinked, not expecting the conversation to go in this direction, but she found herself slowly smiling and a little embarrassed as well.

"That's really sweet of you," she said softly. "I feel the same way. It does feel like you're a younger sister I never had..."

Adina's smile grew, and she laughed lightly.

"Oh, phew," Adina said with a relieved sigh. "I'm glad it's mutual. Otherwise that could've been really awkward."

Eve lightly laughed with her as well, but she found her smile waning as she considered the implications.

Eve had always been under the impression that Adina looked up to her like a role model, for whatever reason. And being an older sister definitely fit that role. She couldn't help but overthink it again.

"But... about what you said before," Adina said before Eve could say anything. "You think James is getting tired of you?"

"Adina, I'm not perfect, you know," Eve said, still stuck on the previous subject. "I've always been under the impression that you look up to me, and hearing you say that you view me as an older sister... well, it solidfied my thoughts. But I really don't do everything right. And I don't want you to always look up to me for the answers, because honestly... most of the time, I don't have any. I don't even know the answers to my own questions, nevertheless thoughts."

Adina stared at Eve, attentive, and watchful. When Eve finally finished, Adina let out a small laugh.

"Who said sisters were perfect?" Adina said with a smile.

Eve didn't even know how to respond to that. She didn't really have any expectation of what a sibling dynamic should be like since she didn't grow up with any, but she assumed... well, now she was second-guessing herself.

"Listen," Adina said. "I don't know if you had siblings growing up. But trust me. My brother and I knew neither of us were perfect. We didn't even get along half the time. But I still love him and care about him - not that I would've ever told that to his face. Of course, things are different now, but... don't worry about it, Eve. You're not on a pedastal. I just like you is all. Is that okay?"

Eve tore her stare away, not realizing until now that she had been gripping the edge of the wagon so hard.

"Thanks, Adina," she said softly. "Of course it's okay. Sorry, I was overthinking it. I'm glad you feel that way. I enjoy being with you too."

Adina smiled and reached over, gently touching Eve's shoulder. There was a short pause as she looked up at her, looking concerned.

"Are you doing okay?" Adina asked gently.

"Oh. Yes, I'm doing alright," Eve said with a small, reassuring smile. "I think having a blanket of safety means I have more time to think. I get lost in my head sometimes, and I talk it out loud with James, but I think he wants me to share my thoughts with others too. So I hope you don't mind me sharing more."

"Not at all," Adina said. "What else is on your mind?"

"Well... there's a lot," Eve said with a weak laugh. "But right now, you're on my mind. You're right that it has been a while since we had a proper chat. I want to change that. So what's on your mind?"

Adina hummed softly, looking down at the ground. The moment Eve asked, it seemed like a mask was pulled away, and Adina let a quiet sadness show in her eyes.

"Ah, well... it feels kind of silly compared to what everyone else is going through," Adina said quietly.

"That's exactly why I keep most of my thoughts to myself," Eve said. "But... I don't think that's a good enough reason to keep the thought contained."

"True," Adina agree quietly. "I guess... well. I feel like everyone except Elias has been able to tell that I like him. I don't know. For a moment, before the rescue at the palace, I thought he might've liked me too. But now it's like I'm not even there... and I know it's not just me. I think he's been like that with almost everyone. I guess I'm just... realizing that maybe I just need to let it go for now. There's probably stuff he's... I don't know. Processing, or whatever. And I don't think he really has the capacity to think about me anymore."

She let out a long sigh.

"And I get it," she said. "Sometimes people aren't in a place to be in relationships or even think about that stuff. And we never really were official anyway. We were just... flirting, I guess. And it was nice while it lasted. I just wish I hadn't gotten so invested so quickly. I feel like in my head I'd already started imagining a whole future, you know? Before anything really began. And I know it's not his fault, either. I did that to myself."

Eve gave Adina her undivided attention, feeling the pain in her words. She could empathize with her and understand what she was going through, even if Adina downplayed the importantance of the events.

Elias was avoiding everyone. Eve noticed he was avoiding her too, but hadn't took any action since she had been so preoccupied with James. But now, hearing how his actions hurt Adina... she wondered if he was even self-aware. Did he know that his actions were hurting others?

"I just feel silly," Adina said. "I always do this - I go and get my own heart broken before anything even gets serious. I just... like to be in love, I think. Not that I never liked Elias. I still do, if I'm being honest. But I think it's more that I just... miss him, now. I feel like he's gone, even though he's still here."

"I hear you," Eve said, now being the one to offer a hand on her shoulder. "I miss him too. And I understand what it means to be chasing futures that haven't happened yet, to grieve what hasn't happened, and to miss and feel heartache for someone you are still learning about. It's not silly, Adina. It's not in your head. He hurt you, and whether he realized it or not - it doesn't matter. It's up to you to decide whether you think the pain of pursuing him is worth it."

Adina looked up to Eve, her expression sad despite the small smile she mustered up when she met Eve's eyes.

"I don't know how I feel, yet," Adina said. "I... I do still like him. I think I'm just... trying to give it time. But maybe that's naive. Is it naive to wait for him? In hope that maybe something will change?"

"I don't think it's naive. But I do think that - if he continues to hurt you and not give you the attention you deserve - you find the strength to evaluate how you truly feel," Eve said gently. "You deserve someone who will truly love you, Adina."

Adina's smile somehow turned even sadder.

"Yeah," she said quietly. "That's right."

She said it like she was trying to convince herself of what Eve said.

"Maybe we really are sisters. I know I should listen to my own words. This is something I'm trying to believe too," Eve said with a sad smile, pulling her hand away. "I know it's difficult to believe when it comes from an outsider looking in. And it may not fully sink in right away, but I hope you are able to at least remind yourself every day that you are worthy and deserving of love."

Adina nodded slowly, looking like she was trying to hold back tears as she pressed her lips into a pout.

"Thanks, Eve," she said in a squeaky voice, quickly wiping her eyes.

"Oh, come here," Eve said with a smile, pulling her in for an embrace.

Adina hugged her back tightly.

"Sometimes it feels like I should know this already," Adina said, her voice muffled in Eve's shoudler. "But it helps to hear it from you."

"And I'm glad to share," Eve said gently, giving her a small squeeze.

Adina nodded into Eve's shoulder, pulling away again.

"Now I've just gotta believe it," Adina said with a weak laugh.

"It's alright if you don't right now. Maybe you don't believe it now, but... I do. And I've heard love can be infectious," Eve said with a playful smile.

"What, like a disease?" Adina asked with a laugh.

"It may feel like it, since it's a foreign concept. But I sure hope it's not. Although, being sick because you're so in love sounds totally possible," Eve said, still with the silly smile. "If that happens, I hope it's because you learned to love yourself so much, your body didn't know what to do with itself."

Adina laughed even more.

"Well if I end up sick because I love myself so much," Adina said. "I hope you end up sick with me for the same reason. Then we'll be sick and full of love together. And we can laugh about it when it happens."

"This sounds like the strangest way to bond in a hospital bed, but... deal," Eve said with a little laugh.

Adina turned to Eve and offered her hand for a shake, suddenly more serious, though a playful smile still tugged at her lips.

"Deal," she said.

Eve couldn't help but laugh, shaking her hand and solidifying the deal.

She came into this conversation with a jumbled mess of thoughts and anxiety, and she left this conversation feeling a sense of calm and pride. It really was like Adina was her younger sister. It was like Eve was seeing herself in a mirror, trying to give herself advice in the past to prevent heartache and pain. At the same time, it wasn't like she was trying to change Adina.

She was only guiding her, enjoying her presence and the friendship that came with it.

They continued to chat, and eventually Adina circled back to her question on what else was floating around her head. But before Eve could get into it, James came back with Mel and Elise. The doctors dropped him off, with Elise in particular enthusiastically reiterating that James was making significant progress - although she said this nearly every day.

Eventually, the doctors peeled away, leaving just the three of them together. After exchanging a few words, Eve could tell that Adina was wondering if she should stick around.

"Do you want company?" Eve asked James. "Otherwise, I was thinking Adina and I could get Elliot ready before we leave. I think he misses the both of us."

"I'm fine," James said with a small smile. "Enjoy your time with Adina."

With an appreciative smile, Eve beckoned for Adina to follow. She was sure that when she returned, James would raise his brow, patiently waiting to see if she had anything to share. And Eve would groan, because he was right.

How was he always right?

It was fine. She was glad that he was, because she did enjoy Adina and didn't want her to feel like she was left behind. Eve wanted to be there for her and offer a listening ear, not wanting her to get lost in her own head.

But - like usual - Eve was layers deep in her thoughts. But not in an anxious, panicked way like she always was, though.

James suggested that she talk to more of her friends. She talked with Adina, but she knew she couldn't just rely on her. She also valued her time with Elias, and she knew that she would have to face him sooner rather than later.

Or rather, he face her. But Eve had a feeling that wasn't going to happen unless she forced it upon him. And after hearing Adina lament about her experiences... Eve didn't want to wait any longer.

This ate at her mind again all day. By the time evening came, Eve decided to peel away from James for a bit so that she could finally have this conversation. Elias had finished eating early and was by himself, reaching up to pluck all the dying leaves on a scraggly tree.

Elias was clearly bored and antsy, especially since he was no longer running. After the mage hunter attack, Bo recommended that everyone stay close together and not deviate far away from the camp. This barred Elias from running long distances, but Eve noticed that this didn't stop him from exercising. He usually finished eating early so he could go to an isolated area and do various stretches strength exercises in place, namely pull-ups from tree branches. Maybe he was still training to climb that imaginary mountain.

"Hi, Elias," Eve greeted as she approached, staring at him pluck at the leaves.

"Oh. Hey," he said, caught off guard as the leaf slipped out of his fingers and flew down to the ground. He reached up to pick some more, jumping to do so.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Helping the trees shed," Elias said, jumping again to send more leaves to the ground.

Eve didn't really know what he was going on about. "What does that even mean?" she asked.

"It'll be winter soon. Trees will be barren, so..." He did one last jump, sending all the leaves from that branch to gently land on the ground. "I'm helping."

It was bizarre, but Eve decided to not comment further.

"Does it help you do pull-ups?" she decided to ask.

"Not sure. It might," he said as he studied the tree some more, then paused to finally look at her. "Did you need something from me?"

Eve stared at Elias blankly. She couldn't help but feel a little prickled by that statement.

"Elias, why are you avoiding me?" she blurted out.

"...Avoiding you? I'm--" he began, but she interrupted before he could explain himself.

"Don't lie to me. I know you've been avoiding me. I've been giving you space, but I'm reaching my limit. What's wrong? Did I do or say something that upset you?" she asked.

"What? No. That's not it at all," Elias said quickly.

"Then what is it? You've been avoiding everyone. And that's fine. I understand you need some space. But why me? What did I do? I thought we were friends again. Why are you avoiding me?" Eve went on, trying to keep her voice from rising.

The sudden slew of questioning seemed to make Elias nervous, but at the same time, it seemed to also ground him since he now appeared to be more present. He nervously laughed and also set his hand on her shoulder.

"Evaline, I'm not upset with you. We are friends. I'm sorry if you thought that we weren't. I didn't mean that."

"Then help me understand," Eve said, voice unwavering. "Why are you shutting me out again? What do you not want to tell me?"

Elias was quiet for a moment, dropping his hand from her shoulder.

"I don't always have to express my thoughts and feelings. Sometimes I like to keep things to myself. I'm sorry if it feels isolating to you. That wasn't my intention," he said softly.

There was something about his words that didn't feel quite right, but Eve pressed on, unrelenting.

"I know. You don't have to tell me everything. But you should know that your silence has consequences. You should know that keeping people in the dark means you are leaving them with pain. Elise is worried sick about you. I am too. And Adina - do you even know how much you hurt her? Are you self-aware of your actions?" Eve said sternly.

Elias dropped eye contact, placing his hands in his pockets as he let a short silence pass. It still felt agonizingly long.

"You're right. I should tell her that I'm no longer interested," he said quietly, deep in thought.

Eve stared at him before furrowing her brows and preventing herself from making an irritated yes exasperated expression at the absurdity of his words.

""What?" she whispered, knowing she would accidentally yell if she used her normal tone of voice. "That's all you have to say?"

"Should I not?" Elias asked, glancing at her.

"No, I--" Eve took a deep breath, trying to calm herself.

She had to be more patient. She came into this conversation trying to save her friendship, not destroy it.

"Sorry, I'm not trying to tell you what to do. And... I'm not yelling at you to yell at you. I came over here to finally address our mysterious tension and to also let you know that your silence has been hurting others. That's all," Eve said with a deep breath.

Elias watched her for a moment, but already seemed to lose interest in the conversation, beginning to eye another tree.

"Alright. Thanks for--"

"Okay, Elias, I'm trying my best here," Eve interrupted, beginning to lose her patience again. "I'm sorry for springing this on you all of a sudden, but I'm tired of ignoring this." She gestured wildly in front of her. "Whatever this is. I've had too much on my mind lately. I've been thinking about my friends. You come to mind, and it's been eating at me. I haven't said or done anything up until now. So I just have to ask. Is it my fault? Was it something I did? Because if so, I want to fix this. I want to make things better between us."

And again, this seemed to bring Elias back to the present, because he was listening to her attentively again, although took a few moments to respond.

"What's been running through your mind lately?" he asked instead.

Alright. This was again not how she expected the conversation to go, but Eve wasn't going to push it. This was something, and she would gladly pull him in with her.

She sighed, leaning against the tree trunk, partly so he wouldn't get distracted by it again since she knew he was thinking of climbing it.

"A lot of things," she said. "You. James. Adina. My friends. My future. With everyone, and with James. Overthinking conversations. Overthinking emotions. My wants. My needs. My doubt. I don't know. All of it, and at the same time."

Elias hummed. "That's a lot of thoughts."

Eve sighed again. "Yeah."

"What's the loudest one?"

"They're all loud, Elias."

"But surely there's one that's louder than the rest?" he asked. "Is there a thought that keeps coming back?"

Eve had to think. Of course, there was the conversation that happened with James recently, and then her conversation with Adina. But those were loud because they were new. The loudest thoughts were the ones she tried to ignore, because they were also the oldest.

"I guess... my future," she answered quietly. "Ironic, isn't it? I can change my past, only leaving my to endlessly worry about my future."

"I don't know if I'd say that's ironic. It's more..." Elias paused again to think. "Scary. The future is scary. There's no denying that."

Eve studied him for a moment. "What about you? Aren't you afraid of your future?"

"I think I'm afraid just as much as most others are. I don't have time magic, so I don't have the same fear as you do."

"I guess not," Eve said with a sigh. "Alright. What's it like for you, then? A so-called normal person."

Elias glanced up at the late evening sky to think it through. "Well... I'd say my fear of the future is like... a blank page. Or, maybe, like turning a page and not knowing whether it's coming to an end or not. And for you, it's like... you can write the next page. Yeah, you're like the writer of your own story. And I'm the reader."

Elias was speaking in a lighthearted manner, but Eve wondered if there were layers of truth hidden behind those words.

"Do you really feel like your life might come to an unexpected end at any given moment?" she asked, voice serious.

"What? No," Elias said with a small laugh. "I was trying to be poetic with an analogy. That probably didn't translate well. Oh well, I guess I'm not a good writer after all."

Eve didn't really know what to think of Elias anymore. She felt like she was being tested, or maybe she was overthinking this. It was hard to know for sure since he had been acting so different lately. She didn't have a good reference anymore.

"What's your ideal future?" Elias asked when she didn't respond. "You think about it a lot, so surely you have a perfect one in mind."

Eve had to take in a deep breath, reminding herself that she was here to mend her friendship with him. She had berated him so much already. She might as well answer his question.

"A perfect future requires work. It doesn't just happen," she said. "Yes, I do have one in mind. But I don't strive for it. Things change. The future is uncertain. I don't want to dwell on wishful thinking that may not even happen."

Elias hummed again, rocking his feet back and forth on the ground. "But don't you do that for the past? You dwell on it, like... all the time."

"That's different," she said stubbornly. "The past isn't uncertain like the future is."

"Yeah. 'Cause it already happened. So why dwell on it?"

"Because... it's not always set in place. Like I said, I can change it. But I can't change the future. How can I if I don't even know what's coming? I can only live one day at a time and control my present to get there," Eve said.

"Well... alright," Elias said. "I can see that. But I think you should still think about a happy future anyways. I think it would be nice. It can be a goal, or a dream. I don't think there's anything wrong with having faraway dreams. It's something to live for, you know?"

Eve went quiet for a moment, studying Elias again and noting the change in demeanor compared to the beginning of the conversation.

"It sounds like you've given this a lot of thought. What's your ideal future?" she asked.

Elias shifted his weight from one foot to the other, looking back up at the sky for inspiration. "Hm... the future changes a lot, like you said. So I think it changes a little every day. I don't have anything crazy specific in mind... well, maybe a little. Maybe I'd want a house made out of logs and a giant window so I can wake up to the sun every day. Or maybe I'd want to be by water - a lake, maybe - so I can swim when I want to. Maybe I'd want a cat, or a dog, or some other pet. Maybe a farm animal, who knows. And I'd be with my loved ones. Near Elise, and you, and James, and everyone else. And maybe I'd have a parter who I dearly love. But I think that's all fluff. I think, at the end of the day, I want to feel content and be with people who truly matter to me."

It was awfully sentimental for Elias to share, and Eve didn't want to easily dismiss it. It felt genuine enough, although she did note that Finnley wasn't in that list of people he wanted to be with. She did wonder if this was a dream he truly always had, or if he made it on the spot for her.

"That seems really nice," she said softly. "You seem to know what you want."

Elias offered a smile, attention back on her. "Yeah. And you? Do you know what you want?"

"I'm not sure," she admitted. "I never know what I want. Honestly, I'm afraid to to even imagine a perfect future. I'd be worried that something would go wrong. Something always goes wrong."

"Maybe," Elias said with a shrug. "But that's no way to live. I think it can be worth living a hundred bad days if it means experiencing one good day."

Eve didn't think she completely agreed with that logic, but Elias spoke again before she could voice it.

"You're already having a hundred bad days anyways. Why not add a good day to balance it all out? It's something to look forward to," he said.

"I don't know. That seems like a backwards way to live," Eve said skeptically.

Elias shrugged again, offering a small smile. "I just want you to dream a little bigger. That's all. You deserve that."

Eve sighed, giving in. She didn't even know where to begin, so Elias helped her through it, asking her what she valued most in life. After a few minutes of going back and forth, Eve didn't think they really landed on any one topic in particular, but Elias didn't seem to mind.

He did genuinely seemed to enjoy talking to her - but not all the time. She didn't know how to explain it. It was like he was here, but also not here.

After the conversation lulled to a natural end, Eve was about to circle back to her first question on why he was avoiding her, but he removed himself from the conversation before he could.

"Mage hunters won't stop me from training to climb a mountain. So, I think I'm going to start with trees... if you don't mind," Elias said, his eyes shifting between her and the camp, signaling that he wanted her to leave.

"Oh, sure. Yes, that's fine. I can give you space," she said as she peeled away from the tree. Eve hesitated. "Have you figured out which mountain you want to climb yet?"

"Nope. But I'm sure I will eventually," Elias said as he then heaved himself up to a branch, starting to climb.

Eve stared at him for a little bit, but then silently sighed and walked away, returning back to James. She felt like she had mended their friendship, but at the same time... it felt like she didn't really do anything, nor had any more answers than she had to begin with.

But at least she tried. And she would keep trying, too.

It was raining again. This time, it was coming down hard. The day of travel had been long and gruelling. A lot of people had been crammed into the wagon to avoid getting too wet and cold, and by the end of the day, everyone was exhausted, wet, and cold anyway.

Raj was quick to build a larger shelter, under which, Clandestine and Alistair worked together to make a fire that everyone huddled around to warm up.

It was getting later into the fall, and the crisp cold was biting. The rain was unforgiving, and by the end of the night, the rain was coming down in a downpour. The storm thundered into the night, lightning streaking across the sky as the clouds swallowed up any view of the moon and the stars.

Raj put up a few more smaller shelters once dinner had been eaten and everyone had warmed up. The animals huddled under the large shelter while everyone else hurried under their rocky tents, shaped out of earth and stone.

The rain was coming down too hard to stay in the wagon. The tarp wasn't wholly water-proof, and it had been leaking as water seeped through the whole day.

Eve and James huddled under a shelter, just the two of them, and they both drew near to each other, sharing one another's warmth under their blankets.

It was nice that Jordan was able to use his magic to make sure the ground under each tent was dry. It wasn't something James even thought about - that magic could be useful in that way. He was used to seeing water mages make things wet, or freeze things, maybe. But Jordan just as easily removed the water from an area as well.

That said, Jordan was the only person who wasn't really trying to get dry. In fact, he had been happily prancing around in the rain until the thunder began to rumble, and then he finally scurried over to the fire with everyone else.

Regardless, eventually everyone was in a shelter. Dry. And as warm as they could be, all things considered.

James and Eve were lying down, but neither of them were asleep. The storm was raging, and the thunder was loud.

In the darkness, James couldn't really see her, but he could imagine where her face was, feeling her beside him. He turned his face towards her, wondering if she felt as restless as he did with all of the noise.

"You awake?" he asked, even though he knew the answer just by listening to her breathing.

"Not by choice. It's impossible to sleep," she said as she stirred to face him as well.

"Agreed," he said. And there was a second's pause.

"Are you cold?" he asked.

Eve snuggled closer, pulling the blanket over them some more so it would be just under their heads.

"Not anymore," she said.

"Hah," James breathed out a quiet laugh. "Very cute."

Thunder boomed outside again. Lightning flashed, for just a brief moment. In that moment, James barely caught Eve staring back at him with a softened, tender expression. At the noise, she held him a little tighter. He found himself tensing at the roar of thunder, and it took him a few seconds to release it as he let out a deep sigh.

"I'm doubt any of us will get much sleep tonight," James muttered.

"I suppose you're lucky then. You can sleep it off in the wagon in the morning," Eve said, then paused. "Assuming the storm lets up."

"Maybe," James said, a little quieter. "But I haven't been sleeping very deeply when I do. It's always so restless."

He felt like Eve already knew that, so he didn't know why he felt the need to explain. But he hadn't really acknowledge it out loud, either.

"I know," Eve said, matching his tone. "It's especially hard to sleep when you're on the move."

"It's... I'm sure that's a part of it," James admitted quietly.

"It's also hard to sleep with a lot of noise," she said.

"Yes," James said, trying not to lower his voice too much, aware that it could get lost in the pounding of rain.

"And when you have a lot of thoughts running through your head," Eve said quietly as well, barely audible if she wasn't so close to him.

"Yeah," James said. "That's..."

He wondered if she could hear how thickly he swallowed, or if she could sense the tension he felt in his own body.

For days - but what felt like weeks - he'd been trying to work up the courage to face the reality of what happened to him.

Honestly, he still didn't feel like he had much courage to. Everything that had happened in the last two months felt like a terrible, terrible nightmare, and any time he tried to think about it - especially the last month of it all - it felt like he kept hitting a wall. It was like his own body and brain refused to let him go there. It felt too painful to even consider.

But there were a few things that felt a little less daunting.

There still was a great sense of dread, but if there was anything he felt like he was ready to talk about, oddly enough, it was Tula.

Maybe it was because of her turnaround. Thinking about her seemed easier to consider, even if she was still probably just as insufferable as an ally as she was as an enemy. He didn't think she'd be any less eccentric, or that she'd ever lose that thread of crazy inside of her that seemed to crave violence.

But... she was...

Well, he wasn't really sure what to think of her as.

On earth, she'd been acting as a spy, only trying to get close to him for information, and eventually, did everything she could to catch him. On Nye, she'd tried to catch him out of petty spite - but that backfired on her when she trusted the wrong people, and James proved everything he'd been trying to warn her about beforehand.

He'd finally had some time to process it. It had been about the only thing he'd really been able to process. Maybe some of that was also because he knew it was possible he might see her soon in New Haven, and it was better to think about it sooner than later.

"I've been wanting to talk about some of it," James finally admitted after what probably felt like an agonizingly long pause to Eve. "The thoughts running through my head."

He swallowed again.

"Is now a good time?" he asked quietly.

Eve was quiet for a moment. "There's no better time than the present," she said softly.

James wanted to comment on how that sounded cheesy, or how it was beginning to feel like the way he talked was seeping into the way she talked. But he didn't want to derail the moment before it even started.

He took in a slow deep breath.

"I've... been thinking about Tula," James said.

And for some reason, the moment he said her name aloud there was a part of him that feared she would tune in at this exact moment.

It would be like her to do so if she had any way of knowing what was going on before she tried to see through someone's eyes.

"Has she been bothering you again?" Eve asked, growing more serious.

"No," James said quietly. "I think... she's not as interested in me, anymore. I've probably become predictable and boring in my recovery."

"What prompted you to think about Tula?" Eve asked instead.

"I guess... just the inevitability that I'll see her again," James said. "I know New Haven is a big city, but I can't imagine I'll avoid her forever. And... for some reason I feel like she'd find me before I even knew where she was. Not... not to harm me, really. She's... I don't think she's very self aware of what she wants. But I can't imagine her ignoring me for some reason. And I don't mean that in-- it's not--"

He paused, letting out a very deep sigh before continuing.

"I don't know if you'll belive me," James said, quieter. "But I feel like... somehow, during the two months I traveled with her, that I got to see the real her."

He paused, but continued before Eve could start picking that apart or overthinking it.

"I don't think it comes as a surprise, but... she's almost impressively immature for someone so close to 30. At least, emotionally. It felt like I was trying to reason with a moody teenager more than a grown woman, and strangely enough, despite how insufferably annoying she was almost all of the time... it made sense of things. The dramatics. The pettiness. The borderline creepy obsession that she kept denying. And I know she didn't deserve it, but I couldn't help but feel bad for her. I don't know if she's ever been checked in her life for her immature behavior and inability to manage her emotions. I don't know if anyone's ever cared about her enough to. Because... I mean, that's part of what love is about, you know? People care enough to tell you when you're in the wrong because they care about the person you're becoming and want you to grow. But she was so stunted it was like... she's so capable as a spy and knows how to be self-responsible in a professional work-related capacity. But responsible with her emotions? For her own actions, when no one's there to tell her what to do? She's... basically a child."

James let out another long sigh, knowing he was finally voicing a lot that had been building for a while. But he wasn't finished.

"And yet... even though I could understand how she might've become the way she is, I... I still tried to use her, just like everybody else. I don't know if that makes me just like everyone else. I did care, and I wasn't being dishonest in trying to convince her that Rita was untrustworthy. But I'd be lying if I said the whole thing wasn't mostly motivated by the hope that maybe - just maybe - if she believed me, she'd help me too. I don't know if that hope was ever much larger than a grain of sand, seeing as Tula didn't budge until literally the last possible second. But I can't help but almost feel guilty that... it actually worked. Somehow, despite all of her instability and immaturity... she evetually did it. And she got away."

A beat.

"And... helped me get out. Belatedly. From a distance. And helped keep Carter in check."

Finally, he found himself falling into silence, letting his thoughts breathe, and giving Eve a chance to reply.

Eve was quiet for a little while, waiting to see if he would share anymore. Finally, she took in a deep breath and spoke in a gentle voice.

"One of the many things I admire about you is your ability to empathize with others, even if they hurt you. Tula has caused you great pain, and it would be so easy to be angry and smite her for the rest of your life, yet you still find the compassion in your heart to justify her actions and humanize her," she said, the paused. "I admire that about you."

For some reason, this caught James off guard.

He'd halfway been expecting Eve to try and convince him out of it - that he shouldn't think that way about Tula at all because of what she did. That he had to be careful. He was just going to get hurt again.

But maybe those were his own fears and accusations against himself.

Because he was afraid of getting hurt again.

... He always was.

He hugged Eve a little tighter, tucking her head under his chin and cheek.

He wanted to say thank you. But there was something else eating away at him that he hadn't been able to shake away since it happened.

"There was a moment," James said quietly. "Where I snapped. Tula was being mean, and condescending, and I was... I was in so much pain. I felt like I was losing my mind. And I... I almost gouged her eyes out."

His mouth curved into a deep frown.

"And for the first time, I saw genuine fear in her eyes. Just for a moment. And I was scared too. Scared that I... that I had that in me. That I'd almost been willing to ruin her life for ruining mine. And in that moment it felt like everything she said about me was right. I'm a self-righteous hypocrite, no better than her... or anyone. And... I don't know. I think, maybe there was a small part of me that did feel like I had the moral highground. And even though I felt compassion for her... I still treated her as a lesser person."

He swallowed, feeling his throat get tight.

"It feels horrible to admit that I don't think I saw her as a whole, real individual until that moment," James said. "Up until that point she was just... an enemy. Not a person."

"You can't blame yourself for that," Eve said as she slightly tilted her head so that her voice wouldn't be muffled by his chest. "She treated you horribly and offered you no compassion, yet you still empathized with her. You can't blame yourself for not being perfect. You have emotions too. And you didn't hurt her, in the end. You didn't act upon it. There's nothing to regret upon."

"Then why do I still feel so guilty?" James asked in a whisper, feeling tears come to his eyes.

"James..." Eve began softly. "Would you say this compassion is a learned trait? What inspired you to be so kind to your enemies?"

James grew quiet for a moment.

It was a good question - but not one he'd ever thought through for himself. Not really.

His first instinct was to credit it to his father - but he knew that it wasn't just that. Maybe that would've been his answer three months ago, before all of this - but he'd finally accepted that, though he still deeply loved and missed his father and treasured all of his memories with him - he wasn't the only reason James was who he was. And he wasn't the only positive influence in his life.

But he couldn't seem to pin a person to the trait. He was sure he'd absorbed some of the values of compassion and forgiveness from his family - not only his father - but when he really thought about it, he felt like the desire to give people second chances over and over again was solidified in his heart when he... left home.

"I..." he started, but it almost felt too soon to admit it.

It felt like such a fragile, vulnerable realization. Like it was almost too fragile to put into spoken words, for fear it'd expose a piece of himself he thought he'd long-since healed from.

"I think," he tried again, his throat tightening around his vocal cords. "I just... I want to give others as many second chances as I wish I'd been given. Or wish I could have."

And he knew it didn't help - because it never did, and he could never resolve it, even now - but he thought of his family.

His mother. His sister. His brother and father he didn't even know, and never would get to know.

He thought about the uncertain future, and how impossible it would be for him to ever go back to King's Peak. How impossible it'd be to ever reconcile without a repeat of what happened only a few months ago happening, but worse, because now the kingdom would make it harder to get in and out.

He'd been in King'd Peak a whole week, and they didn't even know.

And they never would.

James hadn't planned on thinking about this. Nor had he planned on crying about it.

Tears began to roll down the sides of his face, and his cries were quiet, as he tried not to let them take over his whole frame.

"Sorry," he said, voice weak, knowing he shouldn't have said sorry, but it was too late to take it back now.

"I just miss my family," he whispered through tears.

Eve hugged him tighter.

"You don't need to apologize to me," she whispered back. "You need to apologize to yourself. This guilt you carry for others... it's all tied back to you. You are so quick to forgive others, but I don't think you've ever forgiven yourself."

"I don't know how," James said, finally allowing himself to be honest. "If I let it go it's like-- I don't know why it feels like I'd be hurting my family all over again. Like it'd be an insult for me to ever-- to ever free myself from it. To move on."

Tears rolled down his face freely.

"And I don't want to imagine a future where I never see them again. I've always tried to convince myself that I just have to make my peace with it. But I don't know why I can't seem to let it go. I still miss them. It almost feels like it'd be easier if they were dead. But knowing that they're still alive-- that I was there and they didn't even--"

He couldn't finish. His voice broke, and he wept.

At least, this time, he knew no one would hear him over the roaring thunder and the pounding rain.

They were already close to one another, but Eve pulled him in for an embrace, wrapping her arm around his back and perching her hand on his head so he could cry into her shoulder.

"I'm sorry, James," she whispered, sounding pained herself. "I wish there were a way to see them again."

"And the worst part it," James said through bubbling tears. "Is I'm so afraid they won't like the person I've become. Or they won't even want me to be a part of their lives again."

"You don't know that. There's no way to know that. They could also continue to love you as their son and brother, and cherish you in their lives," Eve said softly.

James sniffed loudly, having to clear his throat before he even tried to speak again.

"I don't know why I even bother entertaining it," he said, voice cracking. "I know it's never going to happen."

"You love them. You've always loved them. It's hard not to think about them," Eve said gently.

James didn't even know what to say anymore.

"Yeah," he croaked, sniffing again as he felt the tears naturally starting to subside, even though the pain in his heart stayed the same.

Eve continued to console him, hugging him tighter and letting him sob in her shoulder. Thunder roared outside again, and it wasn't until there was another still silence that Eve spoke again.

"I know the future is uncertain, and perhaps you will never be able to find closure with your family. But... if they were here, and hearing the conversation we are having... I think they would be so proud of you and the person you have become," she said softly. "I'm sure they have their own opinions about the actions you took when you were eleven. But you are now fully grown and blossomed into someone who is kind, patient, and forgiving. If they truly loved you back then, they will see past your actions and love you all the same now - especially since you are brimming with love yourself. Maybe you will never know what their reactions would be if they saw you again, but I hope you can at least entertain the idea that they would forgive you too."

James sniffled into Eve's shoulder as she spoke, nodding his head ever so slightly as she spoke. But at her closing thought, James found his eyes flooding with tears again as he actually allowed himself to imagine a future - even if it was never going to happen - where his family forgave him. And he forgave himself.

He sobbed again, but it was violent, and loud, and ugly. For the first time he felt like he was actually allowing himself to release all of the guilt he'd been tormented with for years over how he left, and the fact that he left at all.

It was agonizing. It was cathartic. He didn't know how long he cried - if it was only a few seconds, or minutes, or longer. But by the time it subsided he felt exhausted.

But he also felt... a sense of peace that he didn't think he'd had...

Well, he couldn't remember the last time.

He finally pulled away a little, rubbing at his eyes, knowing he'd gotten Eve's shirt tear-stained and snotty. And of course, he couldn't see any of it in the dark. Eve seemed to have some sense of vision since she was able to wipe away his tears again.

"I feel like I've cried more in this past month than I have for seven years," James said hoarsely.

"You've bottled it all up. It's all coming out now," Eve said gently, taking his hand again.

James wished he could see her, but instead, he gently touched her arm, and traced his hand up to her face, finally finding her cheek so he could hold it.

"I don't think... I'd ever felt safe enough to cry," James said quietly.

"Then I'm honored that you feel safe enough to cry now, here, with me," Eve said, squeezing his hand. "I don't want you to hold back."

"I don't want to, anymore," James said softly, brushing her cheek with his thumb. "Not with you."

"I love you, James. No amount of crying will change that. I know this isn't easy, but I'll be here every step of the way with you."

James sniffed again, and even though he couldn't see Eve, he had a feeling she could see the small, tired smile he offered her in return.

"And I'll be with you," James said softly. "When you need to cry your eyes out too."

Elias would rather think about the weather and the barren trees and the aftermath of the storm and his arms being sore instead of the conversation he had with Eve days ago.

He didn't really mind anything she said, really. She was rightfully upset and he tried to help her feel better. The part that kept replaying in his head was the part of Adina.

It didn't help that the necklace she gave him seemed to weigh heavily around his neck, like a weight of guilt choking him. He really disliked when people gave him sentimental things for this reason.

The storm had finally passed, although Elias missed how it felt. Everything was so loud, but it was a different kind of loud. The thunder and rain weirdly felt calming. Now, everything was quiet. Almost too quiet.

Elias slowly stepped into another puddle, watching as his mud-ridden shoes and pants soaked into the water. He was distracted by the morning sunlight shimmering in the water when he realized that someone called his name.

Ah. They were moving again.

Like clockwork, they were traveling again, repeating the same old days that passed. Somehow, Elias found strange solace being near Makiel, who often took solace in being by himself.

"Do you need something? Why are you travelling with me all of a sudden?" Makiel asked as he rode beside Elias on his griffin, suspicious.

Elias shrugged. "Because you're alone."

That seemed to suffice as an answer, and neither of them talked the entire day.

They had to take an afternoon break since the animals found it tough to trudge through the wet mud, and they now had to rest. Elias found long breaks to be restless and long, but he knew his opinion didn't really matter.

What was he thinking about today? Oh, right. Adina. He needed to talk to her. At least, that seemed to be the right thing to do.

Elias didn't really have a plan, nor did he really completely think through his words. He just knew he had to let her down gently sooner rather than later.

He found her alone brushing Elliot's mane as he approached.

"Hey, Adina," he called, standing a respectable distance away, hands in his coat pockets.

Adina turned to look at him, and she seemed surprised.

"Oh, hey," she said quietly.

"Do you have a minute?" he asked.

Adina paused in her brushing, and nodded, setting the brush on the ground before she turned to give him her full attention.

"Yeah," she said. "Sure."

For a few moments there, Elias just stared at her, his mind already blanking. But then he slowly moved, taking his hands out of his pocket so that he could reach up to his neck and take off the necklace she gave him.

"I was wondering if you'd like this back," he said, offering the necklace to her.

Adina stared at the necklace for a second, as it seemed it took her a moment to process. Her attention expression fell, appearing saddened.

"Oh," she said quietly. "Are you sure?"

Elias hesitated. "It's not that I don't want it... I just thought you wanted it more, and maybe missed it," he said.

"I mean," Adina said quietly. "It was a gift. I'm okay if you keep it..."

Elias hesitated again, but then pulled his hand back, holding the necklace firmly in his fingers. He wasn't going to fight it if Adina didn't want it back.

"Alright. I can keep it," he said quietly as well.

"Okay," Adina said softly.

Elias slipped the necklace in his pocket before returning his gaze to Adina.

"I'm sorry it didn't work out," he said after another lull of silence.

Adina was quiet for a few seconds - like it was still taking her a few moments to catch up to what he was saying.

"It's okay," she said, even softer.

"Are you sure?" he asked, parroting her question.

Adina nodded, looking down at her feet.

"I had a feeling you would talk to me about it for a while now," she said. "At least... eventually. I can't lie and say I'm still not sad about it, but I'm not angry or anything. Just sad."

"I'm sorry," Elias said softly.

"I forgive you," she said, looking up at him with a sad smile. "I think maybe we both-- well, I'll only speak for myself. I know I tried to jump into things really fast. And I wasn't really thinking."

Elias hesitated again. "Are you sure you don't want your necklace back?" he asked.

Adina let out a weak laugh.

"It sounds like you really want to give it back," she said sadly.

"I can keep it. I just want to do the right thing," Elias said more confidently. "I'll keep it. Like I said, it's nothing against you."

"Alright," Adina said.

There was another silence, but Elias was busy studying her. Trying to remember her again.

She looked at him with her eyebrows ever so slightly arched upward, pulled together. And her eyes looked sad, and tired, like maybe she'd already imagined this conversation in her head dozens of times before it even happened.

Elias felt his head throb as when he couldn't get the image of Flora out of his head. It had been so long since he even thought of her, and yet he remembered her giving him this same look.

"Okay," he said, already turning away. "I'll leave you to it."

He didn't even wait to see if she'd say anything, but he didn't hear anything anyways. He sighed, quickening his pace to find somewhere to sit. His head was spinning, and everything sounded so loud again. Elias leaned against the tree, sliding down on the trunk until he sat on the mud, not caring if it'd dirty his clothes again.

He slowly took out the necklace that Adina gave him that she apparently didn't want back. Although, he really did wish that she would take it back.

Elias turned the stone in varying angles, the sunlight catching it and glinting in his eye. He found himself mesmerized by it, losing himself in the moment as he kept turning it in his hands.

Flora was one of the very few women who was worth remembering.

And now that he was staring at the stone, he wondered if Adina would also be one of the very few women worth remembering as well.

Elias slowly put the necklack back around his neck, the memories of them fading as he stared up at the now-cloudy sky. He didn't know how long he had been staring, but the minuted droned on, and he found himself moving without feeling like he was in total control, walking behind the wagon.

Tuning back to reality, Elias noticed that James was alone in the wagon again. He didn't seem to give him much mind, but then again... maybe he did call for him earlier, or tried to talk to him, but Elias wasn't really paying much attention.

Elias stepped in another puddle, the wetness of it seemingly waking him up from his trance. With a deep breath, he then caught up to the wagon, jumping onto it and wordlessly inviting himself in.

"Hey, James," he called, dangling his legs at the edge again since he didn't want to track any more mud in.

"Hey, Elias," James said. "What have you been up to?"

Elias sighed, staring at the lines of mud the wheels of the wagon left behind.

"I just told Adina that I wasn't interested in her," he said nonchalantly.

James stared at him for a moment.

"Huh," James said. "I guess I missed that development."

"Yeah. I think I did too," Elias said, although he didn't realize until later that his words didn't really make complete sense. He didn't bother correcting himself, though.

"I wasn't aware that you were or weren't interested in her," James said. "Was it one-sided?"

"I'm just not interested. I don't think I need a reason," Elias said.

"Ah. Let me rephrase. Is she, or was she, interested in you?" James asked.

Elias leaned against the corner of the wagon, thinking. "Yeah," he said. "I think so."

"I assume that's what prompted you telling her you're not interested?" James asked.

"No. I wanted to give her necklace back."

James hummed.

"She gave you a necklace?" James asked.

"Yeah. But she didn't want it back," Elias said.

"Did she say why?" James asked.

Elias tried to remember. He didn't think she did. Or if she did, the reason didn't stick to him.

"No. But she seemed insistent I keep it, so I did," he said.

"Why did you want to give it back?" James asked.

Elias glanced back at him. "Because it's not mine?"

James tilted his head to the side, like he was confused.

"But... you said she gave it to you?" James asked. "Was it just to hold onto it?"

Elias sighed, leaning his head back again so it was tilted up towards the sky.

"I don't know," he said. "Maybe."

There was a pause.

"Sorry," James said. "I didn't mean to frustrate you. I think I'm just confused because I... I've missed a lot. It's really only recently that I think I've been... you know. More present."

"You didn't frustrate me," Elias said, his attention turned back to him. "It's fine, it's not that important anyways. How have you been doing? Being present and all."

"It's getting a little better," James said. "Gradually. It helps that I'm able to move around more. I feel less trapped in one place."

"Maybe soon you can step in puddles too," Elias said.

"I'd enjoy that, actually," James said. "It's surprising how I've missed even the small, less desirable things. I never would've thought I took the ability to have muddied boots for granted."

Elias nodded, staring back out into the opening of the wagon again.

"I hope it rains again, then. I already miss it," he said.

James hummed, and there was a short pause.

"What about you?" James asked. "How have you been doing?"

"Oh... I've been fine," Elias said, still staring outside. "The usual, outside of necklace drama, I guess."

"Do you... want to talk about the necklace drama?" James asked quietly.

Elias glanced back, repressing a smirk because James seemed so serious all of a sudden.

"That was a joke. It's not actually drama. Although, even small everyday events can really blow up when we live through the same day every day, huh?" Elias said.

"I suppose so," James said. "Though I still feel a little out of the loop of... those things. If that's been happening."

"If it's any consolation, I'm kind of out of the loop with these kinds of things too. But I just kind of roll with it," Elias said.

"Have there been other things that have blown up?" James asked.

Elias was quiet for a moment, thinking. Not about the question, but about the questioning. He was beginning to understand why maybe Adina seemed disappointed that he kept asking the same needless question again and again.

"I'm not sure what you mean," Elias said.

"Ah," James said. "I'm... not sure either."

A silence fell over them, but Elias didn't mind it. He continued to stare at the tracks the wagon left behind, lost in his head.

"Hey," he said, breaking the silence after a while. "Isn't it unsettling how everything living has to eat something that was once also living? It's like our entire existence is to end the lives of other living beings."

James hummed.

"Are you talking about humans in particular?" James asked.

"Everything, I think. Just in general," Elias answered.

"I suppose it is a natural occurrence," James said. "Things live, die, and are born again. But if it wasn't so, how would it be different?"

"We could just eat things that were never alive in the first place," Elias offered.

"Like... what. Dirt?" James asked.

"I don't know. I don't think it exists," Elias said with a silent sigh.

"Do you mean that everything is alive?" James asked.

"I just mean, that if I were god of this universe, I'd make it normal for us to eat non-alive things," Elias said.

"Why?" James asked.

Elias sighed, feeling his head hurt again from the theoretical question he asked that he didn't even know the answer to. He was starting to feel restless again, so he jumped out of the wagon, turning back to face James again.

"I think I'm going to step in more puddles," he announced.

"...Okay," James said softly.

"Oh," Elias said as he remembered another reason he wanted to talk to James. He sifted through his other pockets, pulling out the spinning toy that Bo gave him a while ago. "Here. A gift," he said as he tossed it to James.

James caught it mid-air, and then looked to see what it was. Upon looking at it, he only seemed more confused.

"What is it?" James asked, turning it around in his hand.

"I'm not really sure what it's called, but it's a nice distraction. I think you'd like it, especially since you're bored a lot."

James started playing with it, like was trying to figure out how it worked.

"Hm," he said. "Thanks."

He looked up at Elias.

"Where'd you find this?"

"Oh, I've had that for a while. I don't really remember where it came from, but I figured you'd enjoy it more than me," Elias said, offering a small smile.

James smiled slightly.

"That's thoughtful," James said. "Thank you, again."

His gaze flicked to Elias's boots.

"Well... have fun jumping in puddles for me?"

"Yeah, no problem," Elias said, beginning to turn away. "I will. I'll catch ya later."

And with that, he slipped out of the wagon view, making sure to loudly step on a puddle so James could hear it. But after that, he kept furthering his distance, not really looking for any puddle in particular.

Elias was already deep in thought. What other objects did he have that he should get rid of since they weren't really his? It was only the necklace that came to mind.

Would it be bad if he tossed it in the mud?

That felt wrong. He'd have to find another way to get rid of it. It also felt wrong to give it to someone else, like he did with Bo's gift.

Elias sighed.

Maybe there was necklace drama after all.

They were a week out from New Haven, and a few days into the Wilds. Between Bo's mere existence and Hendrik's innate ability to keep any beastly threats at bay, their concerns were largely focused on the possibility of the mage hunters' return.

It meant that travel was still tense - but the fears were only redirected. Instead of being afraid of being mauled to death, or, perhaps eaten, their fear was being ruthlessly killed/and or captured by a small army of people who would most certainly interrogate them for information, if not worse.

Personally, Bo felt more confident about facing wild beasts than trying to take on dozens of angry mage-hunters.

That, and the beasts didn't care about where New Haven was.

Mage hunters would. And if they were being followed - which he had to assume they were - they were going to have to start on a very roundabout way there, which would take even longer. And frankly, Bo didn't know how long everyone else was going to last.

He didn't know how much longer he could last.

He'd last as long as he had to, but the constant threat of danger was tiring, and it wore down on them all. Everyone naturally longed for safety, and some of them home, be it to make one or to return to it. He just wished this could've been easier. Simpler.

But it had never been simple. These people were from another planet. And he still didn't know the full implications of that. But he felt like he was supposed to.

It would be nice if he could get his 100 year vacation early, but he knew that wasn't going to happen. If anything, war would come first.

Bo stared out at the setting sun.

It was evening. It was cold. By now, autumn was almost over, even though it felt like it'd only begun. The sun was going down sooner, and though it was possible for them to travel in the night, they were all feeling weary. The cold ate away at their strength, and when they weren't able to light fires into the night for fear of revealing their location, it left them even colder.

Dinner had already been eaten. Everyone was beginning to settle down for the night. Bo's body felt heavy. As much as he'd been trying to rest the last few weeks, he still felt exhausted.

He leaned against a tree, arms folded, standing alone, in silence.

A portion of their party was already asleep, or lying down. Usually, Makiel, Adina, Eve and James turned in early, and Clandestine and Alistair were quick to go to bed since they had the watch in the middle of the night. Elias was exercising, like he did every night. He'd begun doing pull-ups and other stationery exercises in place of running, since it wasn't safe to wander off alone.

Mel and Jordan normally stayed up a while... cuddling. Raj, Mel, and Elise were always the last ones to bed before Hendrik would take it upon himself to say goodnight to everyone.

Currently, they were in that half-hour transitionary period. Everything that needed to be done, had been done. All they were really waiting on was the sun.

It was a good time to finally talk... about the future.

Bo didn't know why, but he could feel it in his gut that something was going to happen soon, and he'd regret it if he didn't have this conversation now.

With a sigh, he pulled Raj, Mel, and Elise aside, leaving Hendrik temporarily in watch over the camp if anything happened immediately that needed response.

Of course, Bo knew he'd still be able to be there in seconds. But a lot could happen in a few seconds.

They pulled away, a small distance from the camp, shadowed under trees in the remaining light of the fading sunset.

"I just want to discuss what things might look like if the worst happens," Bo said. "If only so we have a backup plan."

Mel and Raj were used to this kind of forethought, but Bo could sense Elise's unease at having to think of the worst case scenarios.

"If anything happens to me," Bo said. "Be it I'm captured, separated, or mortally harmed - the safety of the others' must come first. You need to make sure they make it to New Haven. Because if I'm out of the picture, it will only get increasingly more difficult and dangerous to do so."

He turned to look at Mel, meeting her eyes pointedly.

"I know we always say no man left behind. But if I'm killed, I will not have you sacrifice yourself to bring me back. And if I'm captured, you will not be able to rescue me on your own. You'll need to get Mickey regardless, so you'll need to focus on taking care of yourselves and those with us. Understand?"

Mel's lips pressed together in a line, and her brows drew together in sober understanding - though she didn't look happy about it. Of course, he didn't expect her to be. He wouldn't if he was in her shoes, either.

"Mel," Bo went on. "You and Raj will step up in my place if anything happens to me. I expect you to lead everyone to the best of your ability, and lean on each other. And Elise."

Mel and Raj exchanged a sober but determined glance, nodding at each other. Mel turned to look at Elise, sharing a similar nod of determination.

"What if the group gets split?" Raj asked.

"Depending on how it's split, I expect all of you, myself included, to step up and help lead and make decisions where needed," Bo said. "Provided I'm still around, it will be a tad easier for me to find you than you to find me."

Raj and Mel continued to have a few follow-up questions. They were mostly speaking in hypotheticals, but it helped to talk through some practical solutions ahead of time in case of various undesirable events.

There were always going to be things they couldn't prepare for, but it was good to be as prepared as they could.

Eventually, they'd exhausted all of their concerns and hypothetical situations to run through. Bo ended up finally dismissing Raj and Mel to go to sleep, and Hendrik seemed eager to finally call out: "Goodnight" to the whole camp - like he'd been waiting for the opportunity to officially go to sleep himself as well.

That left Bo and Elise on watch for the night, and Bo stayed with her at the edge of the camp, looking out.

He knew he could see more in the dark than Elise could, even with one eye. Perks of being a dragon.

"Do you really think something would happen to you?" Elise asked quietly, worry in her voice.

"It would be unwise of me to not consider it," Bo said quietly.

Elise was quiet and didn't comment further, although Bo could tell she was still worried.

"I know it's hard to think about the unknown," Bo said. "And I don't want to assume the worst. But it really..."

He sighed. He knew he didn't have to hammer it into Elise's head how serious everything really was.

"Are you anxious?" Bo asked.

"Of course I am. I don't want anything to happen to any of my friends, nevertheless you. But I know it's better to plan ahead. Still..." Elise quietly sighed, staring sullenly at the ground. "I understand how stressful this is for you. We depend on you for so much. I should be asking you if you're anxious, since I imagine that the thought of us traveling without your protection keeps you up at night."

"Among other things that keep me up at night," Bo said with a small grin - even though he knew there was nothing to laugh about.

"Well... then I hope you get a good night's rest soon. You deserve that," Elise said.

"Thanks," Bo said softly, letting out a small sigh as he put his hands in his pockets and looked out over the camp, observing as everyone was falling asleep. He could hear as everyone's breaths turned slow and steady, each following their own sleepy rhythm.

He was content to let another silence pass between the two of them, as there were often extended silences on their watch. It didn't make sense to talk all of the time, anyway.

But Bo found his thoughts drifting back to where they were before. Elise wore all her worries on her sleeves, while Bo let them spin in circles in his head, over and over. On occasion, he'd voice them, but even in his conversation with Mel, Raj, and Elise, there were so many more things he didn't say.

There were endless ways things could go wrong, and go right. Endless ways they could get lucky. And they would just have to live with whatever result it was they had.

He glanced over at Elise, observing her.

Her arms were crossed, and she wore her usual creased look of worry. She was probably deep in thought.

"You know," Bo said quietly. "I saw James with a... a toy I gave Elias the other day. It was just a small thing to fidget with, really. I guess he regifted it."

Elise hesitated before looking up at him with even more concern.

"Do you think, maybe, he didn't like it?" she asked.

"Maybe," Bo said. "I guess he didn't want to hold onto it. For whatever reason."

Though Bo had his suspicions, he didn't want to make any conclusions just yet.

Elise was quiet for a moment. "Do you think it was because it came from you?" she asked.

Bo shrugged.

"I don't think he's ever really liked me much," Bo said. "But it's alright."

"That can't be true," Elise said softly. "He looked up to you and called you a friend. At least... he did. But... I'm sorry that the friendship soured. It's not your fault."

"I know," Bo said quietly. "I still like him, even if he's..." Bo gestured vaguely.

"...going through it," Bo said.

Elise was quiet again as another short silence passed between them. They both set their gazes over the camp.

"You told me I'm compassionate, but... you are too, you know," Elise suddenly said. "The list of people who would risk everything to help someone they barely know is very small. But... it grew bigger, after meeting you."

Bo hesitated and glanced back over to Elise.

It felt like there was a question in there, somewhere, but she was too shy to say it. She had a habit of being so polite - even with friends - that she still didn't say what she really meant. He understood that their friendship was still rather new in the grand scheme of things, but he did wonder if she was afraid to ask anything out of line.

"Well," Bo said. "I guess it's a learned trait."

"Mickey?" she asked curiously.

"Yeah," Bo said. "I was a stranger to him when he risked everything to help me."

"He sounds like an admirable man," Elise said softly.

"He is," Bo said. "He... saved me from myself, really. I was lucky that he found me when he did. If I had been on my own... I probably would've tried to burn the whole world down with me eventually."

"You really think so?" Elise asked, although it sounded more like she was curious than concerned.

"I don't know how much of a mess I would've left in my wake," Bo said. "But I certainly would've destroyed myself. And... I don't mean to boast, but you've really only seen a fraction of what I'm capable of when I'm not holding back. So I don't really like to think about what might've happened."

"You were also just a child back then," Elise said softly.

"True," Bo said. "But it took me many, many painful years to become the man I am now."

Elise was quiet again, although she did glance up at him a few times. Bo wondered if she was wrestling with the thought of asking him a more personal question. He decided to wait, letting her wrestle.

"I'm not doubting your intentions at all, but I am curious," she finally said. "Do you see yourself in Elias?"

Bo met her eyes, his expression softening.

"I have from the start," he said quietly.

"In a way... it's like you're Mickey now, trying to guide him," she said softly.

"Yeah," Bo said, keeping his voice as low as hers. "I think I'm also realizing... that Mickey probably just felt just as helpless as I do most of the time."

"How long did it take for you to come around?" Elise asked.

Bo let out a small sigh through his nose. He didn't think Elise would be encouraged to hear his answer.

"Roughly 20 years," he said.

"Ah... I see," she said quietly.

"I'm very stubborn," Bo said. "Was even more so then."

"What changed?" Elise asked.

"...I hurt someone I really cared about," Bo said quietly, looking down at his feet. "And I was forced to reevaluate... everything."

"I'm sorry," she said softly. "That must have been so difficult."

"It was," Bo said. "But it forced me to grow and to face things I hadn't wanted to face before. I didn't want to make the same mistake again."

Elise nodded. "It made you resilient," she said.

"I suppose it did," Bo said.

There was another long pause before Elise spoke again.

"Thank you for sharing," she said, offering a little smile. "I know it's tough. But it does make me appreciate you in a new light."

Bo hummed, but looked to Elise with a small smile.

"Thanks for asking," Bo said.