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Young Writers Society


Kay's Reviews



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Gender: Female
Points: 3068
Reviews: 161
Mon Dec 09, 2013 2:53 pm
kayfortnight says...



Post links for critiques and I'll get to it within the week!

I mainly review poetry and fantasy/sci-fi chapters. If you have me start at the first chapter of your novel you can PM me when you add more chapters and I'll review them, too.

No payment wanted, at least for now:) Just remember me when I decide to post works, okay:)
This account proudly supports lgbt* rights.
  





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10 Reviews



Gender: None specified
Points: 510
Reviews: 10
Mon Dec 09, 2013 6:36 pm
ShortBus says...



Looks like I get to be the 1st. ☺

It's a comedy/fantasy story. It's kind of designed for the young and immature male demographic, but I'm hoping everyone will like it.

I am having trouble with tenses. I switch it midway through the dialogue (accidentally). If you can, let me know if it looks better in present or past tense.

Quest Unable Chapter One (Rough Draft)

Thanks. ☺
  





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Gender: Female
Points: 3068
Reviews: 161
Tue Dec 10, 2013 3:26 pm
kayfortnight says...



There you go.
This account proudly supports lgbt* rights.
  





User avatar
10 Reviews



Gender: None specified
Points: 510
Reviews: 10
Tue Dec 10, 2013 5:02 pm
ShortBus says...



Thank you! ☺
  








The magic is only in what books say, how they stitched the patches of the universe together into one garment for us.
— Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451