Young Writers Society

General thoughts: Well, first I'll say thank you for the review! It was definitely a good one overall, and I liked that you focused on everything rather than just on grammar, or just on characterisation, or anything like that. I also liked that you noted the stuff you liked about the chapter as well as the stuff I need to work on. A 100% positive review is pretty useless, and a 100% negative review can end up just being depressing, so I appreciate the balance you have. I agree with all of what you said as well, so it will definitely be a useful review when it comes to editing my writing.

As for stuff to work on... Sometimes I do think you could be clearer on some things, I suppose, and explain them a bit more deeply. You are generally good with giving examples for grammatical stuff, but I think you could give more examples when it comes to the non-grammatical stuff. For example, one of your critiques was that the story is losing originality, which is something I am aware I need to be careful of. What I think would have been good is if you'd given an example of what specifically gave you that impression (a specific scene, characters' interactions, the chapter's setting e.t.c.) and perhaps ways to try and fix that.

What I expected: A thorough review with some juicy critiques I could use to improve my chapter, and I pretty much got that, methinks. So a thumbs up there!

What I would have liked for you to cover: I personally prefer detailed critiques on stuff like plot and characters, rather than grammar focused reviews. Grammar is stuff I can work on when it comes to final edits really, though I do like some guidance along the way! You had a nice balance of everything, so I don't really have any complaints there.

Usefulness of the review: Definitely useful, so yay for that! I know I need to keep an eye on originality, and I'm hoping the novel will sustain an original feel as it progresses. The chapter you just read isn't the most original (I'll be the first to admit that), but I think the ones that follow do revive a more original feel.

How easy to understand the review was: You do generally make things easy enough to understand, but you could occasionally explain more deeply and clearly. This connects to what I said about you giving more examples on the non-grammatical stuff from time to time because with examples, you create better clarity. Err... if that makes sense. I'm not exactly one for being very clear myself, to be honest. I also think you could maybe be more concise with what you're saying. You sometimes tip-toe around things a bit instead of getting straight down to the point, which can create clarity issues.

Overall rating: 16/20

Also, I do apologise for the British spellings of things! I've always written in British-English rather than American-English because it's just what I'm used to. I've been spelling certain words certain ways all my life, so it would just be weird for me if I tried doing things differently. Plus hey, someone has to keep the original spellings of words alive! xD I know it confuses some YWSers though, so I am sorry about that. Just try and roll with it, if you can.

Thanks again for the review, I appreciate it muchly! Please do let me know if you ever want me to review anything of yours because I'd love to return the favour.

You definitely listened to what I said in my last chunk of feedback, and I can't tell you how awesome that is. I noticed you focusing on non-grammatical stuff, which is what I do prefer, so I'm really grateful you did that. Like before, I really like that you noted both the good and the bad rather than the one or the other. You brought up some good points and when I get off my butt to edit that chapter, your review will be really helpful!

As for the story potentially turning into a vampire/werewolf thing, dear lord no, don't worry about that! They're all human, I can assure you. As for Effie's character, I know her character's a little inconsistent in general. I'm hoping to properly fix that once I've finished the novel because I'll know her better by then... if that makes sense (and yes, Euphegenia is a real name, and I feel greatly sorry for all the Euphegenias out there).

With the whole plot unoriginality thing again, I am trying to be careful with it. The thing with this novel is that it's more of a character-based one anyways to be honest, so I have to be careful not to disregard the plot too much. Otherwise it could end up boring and unoriginal. So yus, I do need to focus on this whole unoriginality thing.

As for stuff for you to work on.... I'm not sure really. I suppose there's still not 100% clarity with everything. For example, the assumption about Preston you made with the werewolf/vampire thing freaked me out because that's the last thing I want anyone to think. I guess I'd like to know what it is exactly about him that makes you think that, if you get what I'm saying. You said it was because he's 'out of the normal', but what does he do specifically that gives that impression? Dialogue? Actions? Behaviour? e.t.c.

Other than that slight clarity issue, I think you're good. I'm not exactly the best at reviewing reviews, let's face it, so sorry if I'm not being much help here.

Overall rating: 18/20

Thanks again for the review, 'twas lovely!