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Young Writers Society


The Vyper's Den [CLOSED]



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935 Reviews



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Points: 2806
Reviews: 935
Mon Jul 23, 2012 11:52 pm
Shady says...



Your wish is my command. Hope the criticism was constructive! :)

"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus
"From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf
"A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni
[they/he]
  





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110 Reviews



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Tue Jul 24, 2012 3:39 am
ImHero says...



Hey, please review my poem; work.php?id=96570

I would be happy for any criticism :)
new profile: profile.php?u=36729
  





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935 Reviews



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Tue Jul 24, 2012 8:35 pm
Shady says...



Done Hero! It was really good!

"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus
"From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf
"A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni
[they/he]
  





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9 Reviews



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Points: 1142
Reviews: 9
Wed Aug 01, 2012 4:07 am
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TheAceofAll says...



Would you mind reviewing my work?
work.php?id=96135
“ You can't control life, [in writing] at least you can control your version.”
―Chuck Palahniuk, Stranger Than Fiction

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it. – Unknown
  





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Sat Aug 04, 2012 1:14 pm
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Drakenor7 says...



Could you review on my prologue? I need all the critism I can get.

http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/work.php?id=96762

I kept some things back in the prologue on purpose but you can still point anything out.
Drakenor: If I have wings, why am I always walkin''?

Father: Because you don't know how to fly yet, silly.

Drakenor: I believe I can fly!

Father: I believe you can fall.

Drakenor: Look at me! Ahh! Turanamooo!!!

Father: I told him so...
  





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935 Reviews



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Points: 2806
Reviews: 935
Tue Aug 28, 2012 10:49 pm
Shady says...



Done, both of you! I'm SO sorry it took me so long.

"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus
"From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf
"A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni
[they/he]
  





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43 Reviews



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Reviews: 43
Mon Sep 17, 2012 4:10 am
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DudeMcGuy says...



Hi shadow,

I had to request here first :) . I still can't believe how long this took me though. So here's Ch.6. And Ch.7 is up too if you want to read that also.

(Part 1)
work.php?id=97366

(Part 2)
work.php?id=97367

Part one is longer than part two because the natural "break" in the chapter came almost two-thirds the way through.

Anyway, I hope you like it. Thanks in advance ! :)
When I was young I used to have problems finishing my sentences, but now I
  





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Fri Sep 21, 2012 3:11 pm
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EmmVeePi says...



I dont know that I would call it strictly fantasy but it certainly has a heaping dose of fantasy influence. Please give it a read and a review, it would be much appreciated. http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/work.php?id=97126
  





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935 Reviews



Gender: Other
Points: 2806
Reviews: 935
Fri Sep 21, 2012 5:20 pm
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Shady says...



Done and done. :smt003

"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus
"From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf
"A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni
[they/he]
  





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43 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 3541
Reviews: 43
Fri Sep 21, 2012 5:38 pm
DudeMcGuy says...



Hi Shadow,

Back again to request a review for Ch.7 this time. If you would be so kind...

(Part 1)
work.php?id=97368

(Part 2)
work.php?id=97369

Thank you, as always.
When I was young I used to have problems finishing my sentences, but now I
  





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98 Reviews



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Sat Sep 22, 2012 7:37 pm
Rainn says...



Would you mind reviewing this poem of mine?

work.php?id=97422
"My Specialty is the Arts."
  





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935 Reviews



Gender: Other
Points: 2806
Reviews: 935
Sun Sep 30, 2012 12:59 am
Shady says...



I am finisssssshed. Anymore writersssss in need? :-D

"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus
"From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf
"A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni
[they/he]
  





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67 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 2724
Reviews: 67
Thu Oct 11, 2012 7:53 pm
DarknecrosisX says...



Hey there, would it be okay if you review the following chapter of mine?

work.php?id=95788

If you enjoy this, feel free to read the other chapters!

Thanks
DNX
Laments of passion
Obstructed by fear.
Under guises of jovial chatter;
Incredulous hopes
Steadily feasting away-
Eating away at my heart.
  





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935 Reviews



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Points: 2806
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Fri Oct 26, 2012 3:57 pm
Shady says...



Anyone else? :smt029

"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus
"From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf
"A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni
[they/he]
  





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Points: 800
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Sun Oct 28, 2012 3:36 am
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Orpheus says...



ShadowVyper wrote:Anyone else? :smt029

Sure why not.

I'll just leave this here.
work.php?id=97786
bane of your existence bane of your existence bane of your existence bane of your existence bane of your existence bane of your existence bane of your existence
  








By swallowing evil words unsaid, no one has ever harmed his stomach.
— Winston Churchill