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Young Writers Society


Alfred Symon's Critic Clinic: Bringing Smiles since the 60's



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13 Reviews



Gender: None specified
Points: 405
Reviews: 13
Thu Aug 16, 2012 11:25 am
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SpeedyPencil says...



Hey could you quick review my piece here? work.php?id=96942

thankyou! It's not very long.
Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.
  





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Gender: Female
Points: 946
Reviews: 4
Fri Aug 24, 2012 9:58 pm
Aurrora says...



Hi! I would love it if you could take a look at my short story. It's in three parts, because I've found a lot of text is hard to read all at once online, but together its just under 4,000 words. I need the first part to be critiqued the most, because it has no comments, but I would really like the entire thing done.

The first part is here: http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/work.php?id=96979

Tear it to pieces for me :)
Hi :)
  





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935 Reviews



Gender: Other
Points: 2806
Reviews: 935
Wed Aug 29, 2012 5:30 pm
Shady says...



Hello Alf!

My 'Highschool Graduation' piece actually hasn't had to be submitted yet, so your review helped bunches. Thanks! :D

I am actually back with chapter three of the story concerning Tasia.

If you don't remember her-

the prologue and chapter one can be found here: www.youngwriterssociety.com/work.php?id=95999

and chapter two can be found here: www.youngwriterssociety.com/work.php?id=96633

and finally, for the bit I need reviewed:

Chapter three-part one: www.youngwriterssociety.com/work.php?id=97113
and
Chapter three-part two: www.youngwriterssociety.com/work.php?id=97115

Thank you!

~Shady

"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus
"From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf
"A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni
[they/he]
  





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133 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 1053
Reviews: 133
Fri Sep 14, 2012 10:01 am
ShakespeareWallah says...



Alf!

do you remember the 'hypothetically' dead man?
well, I have written another sequel. can you please get a look at it. it'll be very helpful to me.
Thanks
work.php?id=97343
  





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308 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 25520
Reviews: 308
Thu Oct 25, 2012 5:43 am
AlfredSymon says...



Done, Puck!
Need some feed? Then read some! Take a look at today's Squills at In the News.

The Tatterdemalion takes a tattle!

"Stories are like yarn; just hold on to the tip and let the ball roll away"
  





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308 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 25520
Reviews: 308
Sun Oct 28, 2012 11:33 pm
AlfredSymon says...



Speedy and Aurrora, your works' operations are done!
Need some feed? Then read some! Take a look at today's Squills at In the News.

The Tatterdemalion takes a tattle!

"Stories are like yarn; just hold on to the tip and let the ball roll away"
  





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935 Reviews



Gender: Other
Points: 2806
Reviews: 935
Mon Oct 29, 2012 2:45 am
Shady says...



I'm baaaack.

:smt079

Chapter Four:http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/work.php?id=97470

Chapter Five: work.php?id=97541

Thanks! :D

~Shady

P.S. If you're getting bored with Tasia PM me and I'll stop pestering you. Don't know if it's your type of story or not. If not, it's cool.

"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus
"From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf
"A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni
[they/he]
  





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56 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 6512
Reviews: 56
Thu Dec 06, 2012 2:40 am
DevanEWilliams says...



Hey, remember me? I requested a review once. Well, I'm back.

work.php?id=98171

Thank you so much! :)
Stay away from limbo bears.
And always have extra marshmallows on hand in case of emergencies.

High Quality Reviews Available Here! viewtopic.php?f=188&t=96280
  





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133 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 1053
Reviews: 133
Wed Dec 19, 2012 1:45 pm
ShakespeareWallah says...



Hey Alf
I had written another story about that dead man and because you had read the previous ones I was wondering if you could take a look at it.. You don't have to if you don't want to.

Thanks!
  





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308 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 25520
Reviews: 308
Wed Dec 19, 2012 2:08 pm
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AlfredSymon says...



But of course I would like to! But maybe on the weekends 'cuz I'm a bit busy with life and all.
Need some feed? Then read some! Take a look at today's Squills at In the News.

The Tatterdemalion takes a tattle!

"Stories are like yarn; just hold on to the tip and let the ball roll away"
  








Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
— Groucho Marx