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Young Writers Society


Poetry Shreds



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Wed Oct 05, 2011 7:53 pm
Lumi says...



I review Poetry, Scripts, Ambiguous wtfs, etc. Sweet talk me enough, and I may touch stories or chapters.

It'd be cool if you'd designate how much mercy you want with your request.

Leave a link to the piece, and I'll get to it.
Last edited by Lumi on Wed Aug 08, 2012 5:58 am, edited 4 times in total.
I am a forest fire and an ocean, and I will burn you just as much
as I will drown everything you have inside.
-Shinji Moon


I am the property of Rydia, please return me to her ship.
  





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Wed Oct 05, 2011 11:47 pm
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Jas says...



sortakinda old, but it's been edited. :]

viewtopic.php?t=83256

Thank you!
I am nothing
but a mouthful of 'sorry's, half-hearted
apologies that roll of my tongue, smoothquick, like 'r's
or maybe like pocket candy
that's just a bit too sweet.

~*~
  





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Thu Oct 06, 2011 3:39 am
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Lumi says...



Done!
I am a forest fire and an ocean, and I will burn you just as much
as I will drown everything you have inside.
-Shinji Moon


I am the property of Rydia, please return me to her ship.
  





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Thu Oct 06, 2011 12:11 pm
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Twit says...



topic86930.html

This needs help. Badly. I would do Bambi eyes but my contacts will pop out. Cookie?
"TV makes sense. It has logic, structure, rules, and likeable leading men. In life, we have this."


#TNT
  





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Thu Oct 06, 2011 9:32 pm
Lumi says...



Done!
I am a forest fire and an ocean, and I will burn you just as much
as I will drown everything you have inside.
-Shinji Moon


I am the property of Rydia, please return me to her ship.
  





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Sat Oct 08, 2011 5:48 pm
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Audy says...



Lumi, please! This needs help!

viewtopic.php?t=88541

:) And I'd love to chat with you.
  





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Sun Oct 09, 2011 3:40 am
Lumi says...



Done!
I am a forest fire and an ocean, and I will burn you just as much
as I will drown everything you have inside.
-Shinji Moon


I am the property of Rydia, please return me to her ship.
  





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Sun Oct 09, 2011 6:20 am
Laurence Branson says...



Lumi,
Would you review mine: viewtopic.php?t=88396
It's a short story, though. If you're not up for it, then don't worry :)
The worse thing I can be is the same as everybody else.
A.S.
  





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Sun Oct 09, 2011 11:09 am
UrbanNomad says...



Lumi,

I have a special poem for you to rip apart/praise or show disgust for...
"The New Congregation"
viewtopic.php?t=88518

It is about spirituality in modern times from my city of Auckland, New Zealand
I look forward to your critique
Oliver (Nomad)
  





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Sun Oct 09, 2011 3:49 pm
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LadySpark says...



viewtopic.php?t=87175
The glass Stairs. Probably the best poem I've ever written.

Image
I bribe you with fluffy dogs that are asleep :D
hush, my sweet
these tornadoes are for you


-Richard Siken


Formerly SparkToFlame
  





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Thu Oct 13, 2011 6:46 pm
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Dreamwalker says...



If you have the time, of course.

If not, don't worry about it.
Suppose for a moment that the heart has two heads, that the heart has been chained and dunked in a glass booth filled with river water. The heart is monologuing about hesitation and fulfillment while behind the red brocade the heart is drowning. - R.S
  





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Sun Oct 16, 2011 1:43 am
Daisuki says...



topic88663.html

I've been experimenting with a new style lately and need opinions. Not in much of a hurry, either, so take your time... and thank you!
Oh, I wish I was punk-rocker with flowers in my hair.
  





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Sat Oct 29, 2011 4:02 am
confetti says...



Good evening. A review on this would be lovely: topic89603.html
No rush, whenever you have the time. Thanks!
"So the writer who breeds more words than he needs, is making a chore for the reader who reads."
— Dr. Seuss
  





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Tue Nov 08, 2011 9:17 am
Button says...



I don't know if this is still alive or not but *noms*.

<3
  








If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.
— Oscar Wilde