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Young Writers Society


Poetry Shreds



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Wed Oct 05, 2011 7:53 pm
Lumi says...



I review Poetry, Scripts, Ambiguous wtfs, etc. Sweet talk me enough, and I may touch stories or chapters.

It'd be cool if you'd designate how much mercy you want with your request.

Leave a link to the piece, and I'll get to it.
Last edited by Lumi on Wed Aug 08, 2012 5:58 am, edited 4 times in total.
I am a forest fire and an ocean, and I will burn you just as much
as I will drown everything you have inside.
-Shinji Moon


I am the property of Rydia, please return me to her ship.
  





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Wed Oct 05, 2011 11:47 pm
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Jas says...



sortakinda old, but it's been edited. :]

viewtopic.php?t=83256

Thank you!
I am nothing
but a mouthful of 'sorry's, half-hearted
apologies that roll of my tongue, smoothquick, like 'r's
or maybe like pocket candy
that's just a bit too sweet.

~*~
  





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Thu Oct 06, 2011 3:39 am
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Lumi says...



Done!
I am a forest fire and an ocean, and I will burn you just as much
as I will drown everything you have inside.
-Shinji Moon


I am the property of Rydia, please return me to her ship.
  





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Thu Oct 06, 2011 12:11 pm
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Twit says...



topic86930.html

This needs help. Badly. I would do Bambi eyes but my contacts will pop out. Cookie?
"TV makes sense. It has logic, structure, rules, and likeable leading men. In life, we have this."


#TNT
  





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Thu Oct 06, 2011 9:32 pm
Lumi says...



Done!
I am a forest fire and an ocean, and I will burn you just as much
as I will drown everything you have inside.
-Shinji Moon


I am the property of Rydia, please return me to her ship.
  





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Sat Oct 08, 2011 5:48 pm
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Audy says...



Lumi, please! This needs help!

viewtopic.php?t=88541

:) And I'd love to chat with you.
  





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Sun Oct 09, 2011 3:40 am
Lumi says...



Done!
I am a forest fire and an ocean, and I will burn you just as much
as I will drown everything you have inside.
-Shinji Moon


I am the property of Rydia, please return me to her ship.
  





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Sun Oct 09, 2011 6:20 am
Laurence Branson says...



Lumi,
Would you review mine: viewtopic.php?t=88396
It's a short story, though. If you're not up for it, then don't worry :)
The worse thing I can be is the same as everybody else.
A.S.
  





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Sun Oct 09, 2011 11:09 am
UrbanNomad says...



Lumi,

I have a special poem for you to rip apart/praise or show disgust for...
"The New Congregation"
viewtopic.php?t=88518

It is about spirituality in modern times from my city of Auckland, New Zealand
I look forward to your critique
Oliver (Nomad)
  





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Sun Oct 09, 2011 3:49 pm
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LadySpark says...



viewtopic.php?t=87175
The glass Stairs. Probably the best poem I've ever written.

Image
I bribe you with fluffy dogs that are asleep :D
hush, my sweet
these tornadoes are for you


-Richard Siken


Formerly SparkToFlame
  





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Thu Oct 13, 2011 6:46 pm
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Dreamwalker says...



If you have the time, of course.

If not, don't worry about it.
Suppose for a moment that the heart has two heads, that the heart has been chained and dunked in a glass booth filled with river water. The heart is monologuing about hesitation and fulfillment while behind the red brocade the heart is drowning. - R.S
  





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Sun Oct 16, 2011 1:43 am
Daisuki says...



topic88663.html

I've been experimenting with a new style lately and need opinions. Not in much of a hurry, either, so take your time... and thank you!
Oh, I wish I was punk-rocker with flowers in my hair.
  





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Sat Oct 29, 2011 4:02 am
confetti says...



Good evening. A review on this would be lovely: topic89603.html
No rush, whenever you have the time. Thanks!
"So the writer who breeds more words than he needs, is making a chore for the reader who reads."
— Dr. Seuss
  





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Tue Nov 08, 2011 9:17 am
Button says...



I don't know if this is still alive or not but *noms*.

<3
  








Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.
— Brené Brown