Could you take a look at my novel? I'd greatly appreciate feedback. I have the spelling, grammar, and other mechanics down, so I guess I'd ask you to look at anything besides that. The first chapter is a little choppy, flow-wise, but after that it smoothes out.
Title: Captive Genre: Historical/Romance Summary: In the cold, isolated forests of 16th-century Europe, a lord takes a boy prisoner. As an unexpectedly tender relationship develops between captor and captive, resentment and distrust grow into warmth and trust in a pair of hearts that were once achingly empty. It aims to be a sensitive portrayal of a tender, if fragile, relationship that grows between two characters because of mutual loneliness as well as an intense longing for companionship. As a tentative trust develops between the two characters, the dynamics of their captor-captive relationship continually change as power is given, taken, and shared. As their bond deepens, the boy finds a new kind of freedom in his captivity and the man finds redemption for a brutal crime he committed.
Hiya, Rachel! So, I saw one of your reviews, and thought, 'I wonder if this person has a Will Review for Food' thread? Bingo!
Then I thought, 'Really, she wouldn't want to waste her precious time on me.' Not even if she woke up one morning to find that her head was rolling across the floor? 'Well ...' Not even if I threatened to pull her intestines out through her nose and stretch them end to end along the street? 'I suppose ...' Not even if I hammered double-ended nails into her bedroom floor at night? 'Oh, all right, all right!'
So, you see, I have decided to post the link to the first chapter of my fantasy novel after all. I mean, it couldn't hurt, could it? viewtopic.php?t=69991 ... No?
Ah, I see that didn't work ... well, I can't do anything to persuade you otherwise. I might as well go home now: I'm expected. I'm hosting a Halloween dinner party, you know; everyone's bringing a dish. There'll be a roast, with potatoes and lamb in gravy, and all flavours of ice cream, great fat chocolate eclairs, treacle tart and trifle - not to mention the firework display afterwards. Oh - did I tell you? The guests are all those kind Reviewers for Food who accepted my post without a backwards glance and went on to produce excellent reviews for me ...
... so no pressure.
Effective?
The POTATO of DOOM
A thousand times it calls your name A thousand times you hear it And fools are those who heed its call But fools are those who fear it.
I am technically closed, but I'll still review. All it means is that it'll take me a few reviews longer (aka, until I get caught up) to open shop again.
I don't fangirl. I fandragon.
Have you thanked a teacher lately? You should. Their bladder control alone is legend.
Hehe, no probs. Take your time - really, I'd much prefer it if I didn't get reviewed and you had time to spare than if you rushed on to review every single thing and fainted at the end of it. Seriously. No worries. Take all year if you will - Ignis
The POTATO of DOOM
A thousand times it calls your name A thousand times you hear it And fools are those who heed its call But fools are those who fear it.
I've got two parts up, both of which are the first chapter. You don't have to review the both parts, if you don't want; I know how busy you often are, but I'd appreciate a review on one of them. I've already gotten some great reviews on them.. but you're godly to me, so your opinion always matters... xD
You get this sexy photo of Madonna as a thank you...
Hey there, Rachael! Would you be so kind to review this for me? This is the story where I used second POV. Remember, I said it on chat? Thanks in advance.
Please read my chapters if you have the time! Thanks (If you do)!
Well, I guess I should tell you a little about my novel first. My novel's name is 'Nature's Elements'. I have put my Prologue, my first and second chapter on www.youngwriterssociety.com too. Please read them, if you have the time!
I have a new fantasy short story up (link) and would love a characterization review on it. It's about an emperor talking to his right-hand "champion" who has finally gotten enough of him siding with nobles over her. The story's pretty much straight dialogue.
Thank you!
Removed the work, seeing as I really need to come up with something else. xD Will ask you again when I have something better!
A writer is a world trapped in a person— Victor Hugo
Ink is blood. Paper is bandages. The wounded press books to their heart to know they're not alone.
Gender:
Points: 14688
Reviews: 193