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Young Writers Society


Feed The Pink Elephant! [Open!]



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43 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 3541
Reviews: 43
Sat May 19, 2012 12:36 am
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DudeMcGuy says...



*Stumbles into thread* "What am I going to do with all this pink elephant food?"

Oh, hello Shearwater.

Would you take a look at this when your not too busy? It's (general) Fantasy, no title yet though (can't think of one).
work.php?id=95343
work.php?id=95346

It's the first chapter of the book I've been working on recently. (Split in two parts because is kind of long - over 4,000 words) This is the "revised edition" of Ch. 1. But I'm looking for more feedback to make it even better :)

I know there are other's ahead of me, so I will be patient and wait.
When I was young I used to have problems finishing my sentences, but now I
  





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67 Reviews



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Thu May 24, 2012 12:23 pm
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Jalmoc says...



Hi there! :D I was wondering if you would review my story? It's a fantasy/action story. :) I wrote it for my English class and it would be nice to have it reviewed. If you're up for it here's the link and the name. :) Once A Friend and work.php?id=95312

(Feel free to offer a different title suggestion. :) )
If you don't take a chance, you'll always live your life in regret, so let your heart show it's true colors and admit your feelings!

Tis not the blade that took your life, but the Assassin behind it.

When Reality has all but fallen away, recreate your own world
  





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Reviews: 73
Fri May 25, 2012 9:58 pm
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psudiname says...



could you review the first chapter of a novel I'm working on? thanks,
work.php?id=95420
if anyone wants a review, post on my profile and I'll get to it in a couple days.
  





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553 Reviews



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Sat May 26, 2012 9:35 am
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MiaParamore says...



Guess what? I've just posted the prologue to my story. I'd love if you could take a look-http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/work.php?id=95533

Thanks in advance. And take your time. I can see that your forum is filled with requests. :)
"Next time you point a finger
I might have to bend it back
Or break it, break it off
Next time you point a finger
I'll point you to the mirror"

— Paramore
  





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816 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 44887
Reviews: 816
Mon May 28, 2012 7:50 pm
Shearwater says...



All done!

Keep the food coming. :3
There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.
-W. Somerset Maugham
  





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Mon May 28, 2012 11:52 pm
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VampireSenshi says...



When you have the time -
work.php?id=95605
<YWS>
<NE1>

NIGHT is always watching...
  





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Tue May 29, 2012 8:13 pm
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NeitherHereNorThere says...



If you are not busy ;)

http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/work.php?id=95629

It is a short story, and it is Fantasy/Other.

Thank You.

NHNT
I am here nor there.
  





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Wed May 30, 2012 1:58 am
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MonoTheElderish says...



I so enjoyed your last review, I would love it if you could find the time to take a look at this. work.php?id=95236 It's the second chapter of the previous work.
Eve Online Nerd. Poke for Babble.
  





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103 Reviews



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Reviews: 103
Wed May 30, 2012 10:01 pm
wordsandwishes says...



Hi, could you review my story's prologue? It's my first book and I'd really appreciate it!

Title: The Arc: Prologue

hope you like it!

It's posted on the young writers society website.
  





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43 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 3541
Reviews: 43
Mon Jun 04, 2012 7:26 am
DudeMcGuy says...



Hey Shearwater,

I've completed Ch.2 of my story and it's up now. This one was pretty challenging, any advice you have to make it better would be awesome.

work.php?id=95667

I didn't split this one into parts, so it might be a long read. Sorry about that.
Your reviews are great, so I'm willing to wait. Take your time, there is no rush. Thanks in advance!
When I was young I used to have problems finishing my sentences, but now I
  





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816 Reviews



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Points: 44887
Reviews: 816
Tue Jun 12, 2012 1:44 pm
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Shearwater says...



Done!
There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.
-W. Somerset Maugham
  





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103 Reviews



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102 Reviews



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Reviews: 102
Wed Jun 13, 2012 1:30 pm
Sionarama says...



Hi Shearwater!

I have two different works that need work and since I saw this I was wondering if you could review both of them (or maybe just one!).

The first one is a free verse-no rhyme poem called "Lost Secrets"

work.php?id=94626

The second one is a mystery script called "Causes Unknown". I wrote this at a writing convention thing and this is my first script...

work.php?id=93234

I'd just like to let you know that they need a lot of work and so please do not shy away from finding every mistake!

Thank you so much!!
"You may not be educated well in the areas of etiquette and the like as a princess, but you do throw some bashing good parties!"
Not all princesses are pink sparkles.
Exhibit A
  





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43 Reviews



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Points: 3541
Reviews: 43
Fri Jun 22, 2012 6:59 pm
DudeMcGuy says...



Hello again Shearwater,

I have returned to ask for your review of Chapter 3: (broke it up into parts again)
part 1: work.php?id=95978
part 2: work.php?id=95979

(I tried to implement your advice from last time by making flashbacks more to-the-point.)

Whenever you get around to it is fine, I'm a patient person. Thanks in advance!
When I was young I used to have problems finishing my sentences, but now I
  





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67 Reviews



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Reviews: 67
Sun Jun 24, 2012 3:13 pm
LadyFreeWill says...



Hey there :) Would you mind reviewing the first bit of my novel The Code of Black? http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/work.php?id=95887
It's in the science fiction/fantasy genre. Thanks!
Formerly TheScratchMan.
  








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