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Young Writers Society


"For what are we if not defined by words?" || CLOSED!



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317 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 5120
Reviews: 317
Mon May 11, 2009 4:13 pm
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mizz-iceberg says...



Title: Sentient -Part One
Link:http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic47883.html
Genre: Other Fiction

This is part one to a story of three parts. I will eventually post the other parts. If you could please have look at it and and give me an in depth review as well as a critique, I would be very grateful. Some of the things I'm worried about include the style and tone. I've used a style in this story that I usually don't usually use. I'm concerned that I've done too much telling and that some parts may be too repetitive. Does my story grasp the reader's attention? Is it interesting? It is boring?
And nitpicks would be helpful too. also, if you notice anything else that could be improved upon, please let me know.


Thank you so much!
-Zehra
I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that.
--Ellen DeGeneres





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1333 Reviews

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Points: 25775
Reviews: 1333
Mon Jun 01, 2009 6:42 pm
Hannah says...



Sorry for the wait on all those requests: real life caught up with me. I'm back and ready for business now, though, so let me know what you want reviewed!

:D :D :D :D
you can message me with anything: questions, review requests, rants
are you a green room knight yet?
have you read this week's Squills?





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157 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 4198
Reviews: 157
Tue Jun 02, 2009 3:35 am
Bickazer says...



If you could review chapter one of the "The End of Time", I'd love you forever. :)

post561942.html#561942

I know it's a bit long...so if you're able to perserve through it, I'd be glad to return the favor and review something you request. Not until after Saturday though on account of standardized testing.
Ah, it is an empty movement. That is an empty movement. It is.





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Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 4
Thu Jun 04, 2009 9:33 pm
Nimphal says...



I would love if you could give your opinion about this one topic48907.html .

Title: Time goes by
Genre: Non-fiction /though it could be Other Fiction, I'm kind of in a dilemma about that/
What it's about: Time, Love, People

Thank you very much!





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8 Reviews



Gender: None specified
Points: 1484
Reviews: 8
Sat Jun 06, 2009 12:10 pm
Crouching Tuna says...



Hello!

Care to review my first piece here?

It's a prologue to the story called Book of Raziel. It's pretty much adventure, fantasy fiction with a little bit of sci-fi, but the most you'll find is the ideology within(actually, there won't be any for the prologue...)

Here's the link
topic49035.html

Cheers!
Tuna
Picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up 3000 times the memory.





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Gender: Male
Points: 955
Reviews: 24
Thu Jun 25, 2009 8:17 am
Palip says...



Hi Hannah :). I have finally finished my piece, I don't know whether it's 100% showing or not, but I've tried my best :). So here are the details:

It's Historical Fiction(please tell me if I should place it somewhere else!), the link is topic49731.html, it's about an air raid scene and the aftermath...well hope you like it.

P.S. I really need advice on whether to include more detail or not, how to continue the story etc...Pls try to help me out as much as possible. Thanks!





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1272 Reviews



Gender: Other
Points: 89625
Reviews: 1272
Fri Jun 26, 2009 12:32 am
Rosendorn says...



Hiya!

Mind shredding Death's Sunset for me? And ignore Snoink's review. She did it on a completely different poem.

Thanks!
A writer is a world trapped in a person— Victor Hugo

Ink is blood. Paper is bandages. The wounded press books to their heart to know they're not alone.





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28 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1040
Reviews: 28
Fri Jun 26, 2009 7:54 pm
Chloe(: says...



I used to have a request up here, but now I took it down. ;)
Last edited by Chloe(: on Tue Jun 30, 2009 8:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Formerly known as Vivacious.

Full of Cliches:a challenge to see who can write a piece with the most cliches.





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537 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 60568
Reviews: 537
Mon Jun 29, 2009 3:23 pm
Evi says...



Let Me Leave with Spectrum Shades

^_^ CBF, darling. <3 Lyric poetry for you here. Muchos gracias whenever you find the time!
"Let's eat, Grandma!" as opposed to "Let's eat Grandma!": punctuation saves lives.





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263 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 4362
Reviews: 263
Mon Jul 06, 2009 7:57 pm
Angels-Symphony says...



http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/post576628.html
http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic50414.html

Please and thank you ^^
You cannot dream yourself into a character; you must hammer and forge yourself into one.

The writer, when he is also an artist, is someone who admits what others don't dare reveal.





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42 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1016
Reviews: 42
Tue Jul 07, 2009 12:05 pm
bailecielo says...



I read the review you made for a poem by a friend of mine. i thought her poem was awesome, although the comments you posted made a lot of sense. I don't mind negative criticism as long as it'll help me improve. :D So please please please review this one:

Title: Heaving Ardor
Genre: Other Poetry
Link: post577179.html#577179

thanks! :D
"Love is the black of cliches" ~bailecielo'09~





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88 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 2290
Reviews: 88
Mon Jul 13, 2009 6:02 pm
ZannaShepherd says...



Hi,
I'm in some desperate need for reviews! I need my sort story 'Fantasist' to get some reviews. It's an entry for 'which path to take'.

Fantasy Fiction
G

topic50713.html
~Zanna





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1333 Reviews

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Gender: Female
Points: 25775
Reviews: 1333
Mon Jul 13, 2009 10:34 pm
Hannah says...



Hey, everyone. I'm so sorry for the delay with all these reviews, but I am going to finish them ALL once I finish my JulNo. So, if all goes well, you should all have your critiques within a week. If anyone that posted doesn't want their piece reviewed anymore, let me know.

-Hannah-
you can message me with anything: questions, review requests, rants
are you a green room knight yet?
have you read this week's Squills?





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102 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 2973
Reviews: 102
Tue Jul 14, 2009 9:05 pm
DakotaK says...



Hi Hannah,
I was hoping you would have a chance to review the story I wrote for Rosie Unicorn's contest.

Title: Wyndolyn
Rating: PG
Genre:Fantasy Fiction
Link: topic50754.html

I hope it's not too boring to read:)
~Dakota
What is important is to know fear and yet take a step forward.
Rosette Christopher

Looking for peeps to review my novel:)

novel.php?id=1142





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1333 Reviews

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Gender: Female
Points: 25775
Reviews: 1333
Fri Jul 17, 2009 10:38 pm
Hannah says...



So, I'm nearly caught up with all those requests and I'm ready for more!

Please be sure to read the rules when you request a critique. Thank you!

-Hannah-
you can message me with anything: questions, review requests, rants
are you a green room knight yet?
have you read this week's Squills?








Be sure you put your feet in the right place, then stand firm.
— Abraham Lincoln