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Jack's Critique Emporium [BACK IN BUSINESS]

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Mon Jul 26, 2010 2:02 pm
Firestarter says...



I'm not sure I ever want to review a poem ever again, but if anybody has any short stories for me to review I'll be very happy to do so.

(The above two have been done)
How young are you?
How old am I?
Let's count the rings
around my eyes.
--The Replacements

idraax: Europe is weird then. Math should be standardized internationally.




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Wed Jul 28, 2010 3:52 pm
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iceprincess says...



I really appreciate it if you reviewed the first and second chapter of my novel, Empyrosis. :D
It's about teenagers, though, but I can assure you they're not angsty and hormonal. It's actually a fantasy novel about a pair of twins --- one is an eudaemon (guardian angel) while the one has special powers of her own.
Thank you so much! :D
you'll never find another sweet little girl with sequined sea foam eyes
ocean lapping voice, smile coy as the brightest quiet span of sky
and you're all alone again tonight; not again, not again, not again.
and don't it feel alright, and don't it feel so nice? lovely.






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Thu Jul 29, 2010 12:15 pm
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Firestarter says...



Done : )
How young are you?
How old am I?
Let's count the rings
around my eyes.
--The Replacements

idraax: Europe is weird then. Math should be standardized internationally.




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Fri Jul 30, 2010 9:16 pm
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Valentine says...



Hey Firestarter! Here is the link to a chapter in a novel I am writing:

http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic67620.html

So basically it's about these teenagers (sorry, I know you don't like stories with them) who get these powers, and all this other stuff. Sorry, it's really hard to explain, but I assure you it's not as cliche as it sounds. Well, thank you!
"You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become a villain- TDK"

-My Bloody Valentine Reviews-




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Sat Jul 31, 2010 10:32 am
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Firestarter says...



Done!
How young are you?
How old am I?
Let's count the rings
around my eyes.
--The Replacements

idraax: Europe is weird then. Math should be standardized internationally.




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Sat Jul 31, 2010 2:45 pm
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blackbird12 says...



Would you mind critiquing this for me? It could use some polishing and tightening up.

post747121.html#p747121
If I had wings, I would have opened them.
I would have risen from the ground.

-Mary Oliver




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Mon Aug 02, 2010 12:00 am
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Yahowshuwa says...



Hey Cuz'. Jem told me you were involved in this site when I was writing on holiday, so thought I'd check it out.

Fancy reviewing part of my novel?

It does after all say you'll review fantastic fantasy, I can at least offer the second part. I can pay by I.O.U or empty promises, your choice. Ta.




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Mon Aug 02, 2010 3:07 pm
AngerManagement says...



Hey Jack

Could you please review my short story 'Play.Pause.Rewind.' topic67782.html

Its for a Contest about friendships and it's generally about what happens when some friendships spiral out of control. It IS about teenagers >.> but I tried to make it as un clichéd as I could.
Dont tell me the moon is shining, show me the glint of light on broken glass.

Anton Chekov




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Wed Aug 04, 2010 6:39 pm
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Flower~Child says...



I have a poem if you would review it? topic67891.html Love you avatar by the way!
My reality comes to a close as I once again realize that you don't love me, and even if I love you with my everything you will never care.





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Fri Aug 06, 2010 5:09 am
Yuriiko says...



I appreciate if you rip this apart. :3

topic67956.html

Thanks in advance!
"Life is a poem keep it in the present tense." -Sherrel Wigal


Want to do shout-out to a mod who helped you along the way? Click here!




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Tue Mar 15, 2011 4:15 am
Jas says...



I've found it! YES! :D

Part One: topic77182.html

Part Two: post832609.html#p832609


Could I please get a review of the above? It's for a class, due Thursday and needs tons of help. :D Thanks in advance!
I am nothing
but a mouthful of 'sorry's, half-hearted
apologies that roll of my tongue, smoothquick, like 'r's
or maybe like pocket candy
that's just a bit too sweet.

~*~




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Tue Mar 15, 2011 6:04 pm
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Firestarter says...



So jasmine has sort of prodded this sleeping dragon into raging, fiery anger.

Post requests here and there's a possibility I might maybe read it and critique it.
How young are you?
How old am I?
Let's count the rings
around my eyes.
--The Replacements

idraax: Europe is weird then. Math should be standardized internationally.




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Tue Mar 15, 2011 11:50 pm
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MeanMrMustard says...



topic77609.html

Dat dere Jack, you should find it different and fun to play with. Thanks! :smt001




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Wed Mar 16, 2011 7:21 am
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spike71294 says...



topic77603.html
That Sacred Slut.
Dramatic Poetry I think.
It's about female empowerment.
A review wanted...please :3.




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Thu Mar 17, 2011 12:14 pm
Elinor Brynn says...



Hi,

Could you review this poem by Raz and I for the poetry pairs contest? topic77699.html

Thanks so much. ^^

All our dreams can come true — if we have the courage to pursue them.

-- Walt Disney