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Jack's Critique Emporium [BACK IN BUSINESS]

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336 Reviews



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Wed Jan 20, 2010 4:33 am
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Jas says...



Hi, would you mind reviewing this?

Ignorance is Never Bliss: Prologue

No kind words, no harsh words, just honest truth.

Thanks! :)


~Jasmine Bells~
Peace, Love, Writing, Insanity and Chocolate
I am nothing
but a mouthful of 'sorry's, half-hearted
apologies that roll of my tongue, smoothquick, like 'r's
or maybe like pocket candy
that's just a bit too sweet.

~*~




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Wed Jan 20, 2010 6:01 pm
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BenFranks says...



Hey Firestarter!

I realise this isn't your most admirable of the genres to critique but I wondered if you'd have a look at my non-fiction extract:

topic57293.html

This is an extract from my column-based, "ranting" book (Earth And It's Contents) about life's little irratants.

This particular extract is about Indian food and I hope you'll enjoy the humour it has too offer, bearing in mind that the immaturity of the writing is the style of the book. Anyway, thankyou
Ben.
Benjamin Franks
~ Editor in Chief, Pie Magazine | An Editor's Blog.
THE NON-FICTION GURU | Ask a Question




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Sat Jan 23, 2010 7:54 am
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sugarxsnow says...



Hello. My name is Sugar. I would like to ask for a review. :D

Alice Who Lives Down the Rabbit Hole (Fantasy Fiction):

viewtopic.php?t=57402


It's a kind of like a twisted version of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, actually, with some things added and altered. It's similar, but then again, it's not. There are currently two installations, but I would like you to critique this one. You can access the next chapter through this lovely little link over here: viewtopic.php?t=57528


I really hope you don't mind, but I suggest you read both. I'm having a problem about revelations, erm... how to unfold the story. I'm afraid of information overload and/or too little info about the plot as I go through... also, I have a tendency to mess tenses up. I really think you can help me with all these. Thank you. :)
"A fish bit my hand this morning, and everything became trippy. Now with this coke and this cherry, I can beautifully rule the world!"

-Dino, @ Dino and Cake's Adventures in La-La Land (Coming Soon)

PS: "Alice in Wonderland" obsessed? You bet.




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Thu Jul 08, 2010 10:09 am
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Firestarter says...



Well, I keep appearing and disappearing so this thread has never worked as well as it should have.

But now I'm here to stay, and have absolutely nothing to all day but weep at the bareness of my CV, and try and think of a good novel idea, you may as well request reviews.

Apologies to anybody I never got around to in the past. But if you do so now I promise I might do it. Unless I don't want to. But I feel in a critiquing mood for today, so take advantage.
How young are you?
How old am I?
Let's count the rings
around my eyes.
--The Replacements

idraax: Europe is weird then. Math should be standardized internationally.




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Fri Jul 16, 2010 3:05 pm
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Firestarter says...



Seriously, I'm terrible at browsing the forums. Someone ask for a critique!
How young are you?
How old am I?
Let's count the rings
around my eyes.
--The Replacements

idraax: Europe is weird then. Math should be standardized internationally.




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Fri Jul 16, 2010 4:18 pm
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Rydia says...



Well if you're that desperate...

Title: Heaven Like Hell
Genre: Fantasy
Target Audience: Teenagers
Description: Guardian Angels exist but they're not at all what you'd expect. They're selfish, vindictive and quite often very, very grumpy. With the girl of his dreams dead, Tobias doesn't think he has anything left to live for. He's a whiny teenager, over dramatic to the extreme and doesn't intend on living long. Vince has something to say about that. He's irritable, more than a bit selfish and isn't ready to let some idiot ruin his afterlife.

Link: topic67053.html
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Will review for food.
Writing Gooder

~Previously Kitty15~

<YWS>

I love Iggy!




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Fri Jul 16, 2010 5:01 pm
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Firestarter says...



Done! Anyone else?
How young are you?
How old am I?
Let's count the rings
around my eyes.
--The Replacements

idraax: Europe is weird then. Math should be standardized internationally.




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Fri Jul 16, 2010 5:04 pm
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Leilani says...



http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/viewtopic.php?t=66775 chp 1 ^-^
http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/viewtopic.php?t=66775 chp 2 ^-^

Thank you so much! ur cool xD 8)
Happiness is a perfume you can not pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself <3




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Fri Jul 16, 2010 5:38 pm
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Firestarter says...



Done!
How young are you?
How old am I?
Let's count the rings
around my eyes.
--The Replacements

idraax: Europe is weird then. Math should be standardized internationally.




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Sat Jul 17, 2010 8:17 pm
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blackbird12 says...



Would you mind critiquing two poems for me?

topic67129.html

topic66604.html

I feel far more at home writing prose but I'm trying to improve my poetry writing. Any honest helpful advice is much appreciated. Thanks a whole bunch.
If I had wings, I would have opened them.
I would have risen from the ground.

-Mary Oliver




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Sat Jul 17, 2010 9:08 pm
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Firestarter says...



Both have been done! Any other offers?
How young are you?
How old am I?
Let's count the rings
around my eyes.
--The Replacements

idraax: Europe is weird then. Math should be standardized internationally.




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Gender: Male
Points: 1615
Reviews: 56
Sun Jul 18, 2010 12:11 am
blackbird12 says...



Could I beg you for a review once more? I think this is one less...god-awful than the other two, heheh. In hindsight (and especially as clarified by your thoughts) those other two poems were very sophomoric, written by me months and months ago. This one's less amateurish, I think. Thanks for being brutally honest, though. It's always helpful!

topic67134.html
If I had wings, I would have opened them.
I would have risen from the ground.

-Mary Oliver




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1226 Reviews

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Sun Jul 18, 2010 4:15 pm
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Firestarter says...



Done! Enjoyed it more than the others. Anyone else?
How young are you?
How old am I?
Let's count the rings
around my eyes.
--The Replacements

idraax: Europe is weird then. Math should be standardized internationally.




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Mon Jul 19, 2010 5:04 am
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OverEasy says...



Hey Jacko!

Just wondering if you wouldn't mind taking a peak at my new chapter to an old story. Here is Chapter 1 for reference, I don't need it to be critiqued as I have already gotten some great reviews and am in the editing process.

But! Chapter Two is in need of some thoughts.

Please and thank you!

Tiff
"I’m selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I’m out of control, and at times I’m hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst then you sure don’t deserve me at my best." --Marilyn Monroe




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Mon Jul 19, 2010 6:22 am
Prosithion says...



Hey Jack.

I'm working on a new speculative science fiction novella, In Defense of Our Nation, and I was wondering i you would honor me with a critique or two. thanks a million.

novel.php?id=461

thanks again.
cheers,
Pros
"wub wub wub wub. Now Zoidberg is the popular one."

"Computer... Captain's musk"