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Critiques by Canislupis [Closed]

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15 Reviews


Gender: Female
Points: 3710
Reviews: 15
Sun Jul 04, 2010 9:22 pm
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Valteria says...



Title: Angler (The Novel)
Genre: General Fiction Novels
What I would like you to look at: Please give me feedback on characters and voice.
Link to page: post730191.html#p730191

*gulps* I have to warn you that this piece is the first chapter of the novel that I am trying to get published. It is 4,832 words long. Sorry it's so long, but your review is greatly appreciated.




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521 Reviews


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Points: 7375
Reviews: 521
Mon Dec 06, 2010 7:01 pm
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canislupis says...



*bumpity bump bump bump*

I'm open for buisness!




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23 Reviews


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Points: 928
Reviews: 23
Mon Dec 06, 2010 10:52 pm
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Vampyre says...



Hey Canis!

In case you haven't guessed who I am and why I'm here, I'm *drum roll* Vampyre, here to *drum roll* ask for a review!

Didn't see that coming now, did you? :P

So I wondered if you could please review my totally-vampire-free fantasy short story, No Forgiveness.

Much appreciated :)
'Pyre
That night she drew her swan breath in a bed
Made soft with all her razor blades,
That kissed her wrists with the romance you lacked.
As the hands that you’d kissed now dealt the trades






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521 Reviews


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Points: 7375
Reviews: 521
Tue Dec 07, 2010 9:20 am
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canislupis says...



*Gasps* someone here to ask for a review? In this thread? No way!

Heh, actually it's already done!

So, any more takers?




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436 Reviews


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Reviews: 436
Tue Dec 21, 2010 2:02 pm
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Yuriiko says...



Hello there!

Could you please review this for me?

Title: You Could Have
Genre: Romantic SS
Link: topic73574.html

Thank you! :D
"Life is a poem keep it in the present tense." -Sherrel Wigal


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521 Reviews


Gender: Female
Points: 7375
Reviews: 521
Thu Dec 23, 2010 5:26 pm
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canislupis says...



Thanks, Yuriiko! That was fun. Anyone else?




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869 Reviews


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Points: 23825
Reviews: 869
Thu Dec 23, 2010 6:37 pm
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Skins says...



Heya, Lupis. :)

I feel a bit bad because I use this forum too much, but hey, that's me for you. x3 Anyway, would you mind reviewing the beginning of a novel for me?

novel.php?id=915

It's got two parts, both of which are chapter one, but you don't have to review the both if you don't want. I'd appreciate it if you could review at least the one though, and it's up to you which one; I don't mind. Please and thank you!
Cat.




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13 Reviews


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Points: 1009
Reviews: 13
Fri Dec 24, 2010 4:20 am
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LindseyBrooke says...



topic73696.html
Please review this for me? (:

Title: Comatose
Genre: Fantasy/Romance (The romance doesn't come until later though so you don't have to worry about that. Just a torture-esque scene. (: )

Thank you!
"Next year I'll be transferred to Pigfarts."
<3




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10 Reviews


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Reviews: 10
Fri Dec 24, 2010 9:18 am
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occasionalpessimist says...



if you don't have many things on your plate right now, can you please give me your opinion on this?
topic73429.html#p797642
I just want to know whether I should make a novella out of it.

It's war-related, sorry, but no actual fighting happens. (Yay.) Not historical, either.
I guess you could put it in the Science Fiction genre, but there are no spaceships or giant mechas stomping on people. Safe?
- Alexandra :)
I'm not insane. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

Read my story, Elements: The Trilogy! page.php?id=900
Free cookie?




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521 Reviews


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Points: 7375
Reviews: 521
Tue Jan 04, 2011 7:22 pm
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canislupis says...



Right! Skins, part one of three is up. Sorry this is taking so long, guys.

Occasional--Done! Thanks, I enjoyed that.

Lindsey--Done as well! Liked that as well.

All of you feel free to ask again, as well as anyone else. I now have about.... five reviews pending. >.< But still, if you want one, post ahead!

Lupis




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70 Reviews


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Wed Jan 05, 2011 3:17 am
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psudiname says...



first, thanks for giving me plot ideas, I was kind of stuck there and you helped a little so, thanks. second, I know you don't like war novels, but you did say you might be interested in reading it, so here is the link to the first chapter, subsequent chapters are linked at the bottom of each chapter. topic73681.html
thanks,
---Psudiname
if anyone wants a review, post on my profile and I'll get to it in a couple days.




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57 Reviews


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Points: 1085
Reviews: 57
Sat Mar 12, 2011 1:27 am
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rayhutch5 says...



Hi! :) If you can, I would love a few critiques on the first chapter (split into two parts) of my novel, "Anything But Normal". Here's the link: http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/novel.php?id=1206 It's a Fantasy novel, so hopefully you'll like it. Warning, though: it's a first draft. Thanks so much! :)
"Everything has beauty, just not everyone sees it." -Jen Meyers





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262 Reviews


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Points: 953
Reviews: 262
Sat Mar 26, 2011 3:30 pm
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ultraviolet says...



Hey canis! Mind checking out this? It's sci fi, but not star-trekky, and from the first chapter you can probably not even tell it's sci fi. Thanks if you can. :D

loveness, ultraviolet <3
"Blah blah blah. You feel trapped in your life. Here is what I am hearing: happiness isn't worth any inconvenience."

~asofterworld.com




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19 Reviews


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Points: 96
Reviews: 19
Sun Oct 23, 2011 4:43 am
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gokubrother says...



Hello Canis!

I'm kinda new (ashamed)
anywho, i want you to review a poem of mine. just an opinion on it will be fine.
link: viewtopic.php?t=89297
‎"If you can't build a fire in your house, you can't expect to set the world ablaze."
-Serj Tankian




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23 Reviews


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Points: 683
Reviews: 23
Mon Oct 24, 2011 1:33 am
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MSDavies says...



Can you review one of my novel chapters? It would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.(:


--Maya
“Books are mirrors: you only see in them what you already have inside you.”--Carlos Ruiz Zafon