I will love you forever for a rip-to-shreds review! It needs a ton of work...
"...I laugh, and laugh, and laugh. Sometimes I can stop laughing before people start edging away and talking about soothing drinks." - Lord Raould of Goldenlake and Malorie's Peak
Mmmhhhmmmm.......you know I wouldn't do this to you....except that this one yeilded zero reveiws. Surprising, so I have to ask- is there something wrong in the poem or the language or is it just that I've not been reveiwing much? i wish I could do what you're doing here.......Anyways, I'll remember this:
And if it makes you feel better....I went back like a stubborn child and finally made some changes in The Fosse Grim. I didn't agree with all of it though. The chat can't severe everything, I say.
What syllable are you seeking,
Vocalissimus,
In the distances of sleep?
Speak it.
—Wallace Stevens, “To the Roaring Wind”
I would greatly appreciate it if you would review 'Forget Myself' for me. Not so much on the plot itself as I know it's not the best, but more on the style, grammar, whatever else you can find etc. Thankyou!!
'Ello! Thanks for selling me - uh - us, your soul. There is only one spelling error but that was done on purpose. Grammar I should be able to catch on my own but if you spot any annoying commas spreading like wildfire, let me know so I can fan them out. ^ ^ I'm only curious on what the reader thinks of the plot, the character's traits, especially my MC, and I was kind of wondering what were the first thoughts that went through the reader's mind when they finished.
I just hope this draft is more concise and easier the follow than the first. Any other opinions you can think of are appreciated. Thanks!
I lingered round them, under that benign sky: watched the moths fluttering among the heath and harebells, listened to the soft wind breathing through the grass, and wondered how any one could ever imagine unquiet slumbers for the sleepers in that quiet earth. — Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights
Gender:
Points: 890
Reviews: 16