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Should I write more?

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Tue Mar 01, 2005 5:51 am
hekategirl says...



The Start of Things

Miranda wasn’t surprised when the ghost that lived in her garage finally spoke to her, she had suspected it would ever since she figured out that their was a ghost living in her garage. Nope, it didn’t surprise her at all; it’s what it said that surprised her.
Think of something a ghost would say to you, “Boo!” maybe? No this ghost didn’t say that, “Get out of here this is my house!” some ghosts say that, but not this one. There are millions of things a ghost could say to you, but this one said the last thing you’d ever think of; “I’m not dead”



Miranda didn’t sleep that night, it bothered her that not only WAS their a ghost in her garage, it spoke to her AND said that it wasn’t dead! AND left has soon as had finished; so Miranda couldn’t ask him any of the many questions that circled in her head, like, “Then what are you?” “Is every ghost not dead?” “Why are you telling me this?” But nothing was there to respond, just the stale, cold wind.
“Huh” Miranda let out long deep sigh, “What does this mean?” she said quietly to herself. “What does it mean?” This time she turned her head to the window and stared at the moon. “Of all the things he or she…. Eggg! I don’t even that much about…. It! Eggg!” Miranda banged her head against her headboard, then of course regretted doing so which made her even angrier, about her head throbbing and that she was stupid enough to bang it against her headboard in the first place.




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Tue Mar 01, 2005 8:09 am
Shadow Knight says...



IS this story supposed to be funny, or a horror? well, it certainly made me laugh :D :lol: ok, well, er, what exactly is egggg supposed to sound like, just put it how its pronounced (only for onimatopeas, is that even spelt right?) ok back to your story, you should write more.

~~Shadow~Knight~~
Cause i'm a one man,
I'm a one man,
I'm a one man,
I'm a one man revolution.




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Wed Mar 02, 2005 1:50 am
Ego says...



strangely entertaining....I do think you should separate it into paragraphs between speakers...it makes for an easier read in the long run.
Got YWS? I do.

Lumi: Don't you drag my donobby into this.
Lumi: He's the sweetest angel this side of hades.




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Wed Mar 02, 2005 3:16 am
magusthemad says...



name it "im not dead"




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Thu Mar 03, 2005 2:09 am
hekategirl says...



um, well, its sopposed to be like 'egg' and 'ehh' combined so I didn't really know what to put. Any suggestions would greatly appreciated!




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Thu Mar 03, 2005 2:23 am
Sam says...



This seriously did make me laugh...here's what I got from it.

So, there's this girl who's majorly freaked out because she's been having conversations with a ghost in her garage. Later that night, she can't sleep, only sits there, banging her head against the wall and moaning something about eggs, which she wants/likes.

If that's not the effect you were going for, then I suggest you revise, woman! If it was meant for humor, then leave it as it is lol.
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Thu Mar 03, 2005 2:32 am
hekategirl says...



one thing she's not saying 'egg' she's saying 'ehh' I guess you could say, but I wanted it to be more rough.