Young Writers Society

There's always a lot of religious debate on these threads and I never really participate because it doesn't usually interest me much. I feel like religious debates are usually monopolized by people of extreme belief at both ends, and it's just the same old arguments repeated again and again. But that this is YWS and here there's very intelligent discussion with many good points made by both sides. Anyway, I can't sleep right now and I got to thinking about religion. So here is going to be my two cents on religion just so it's out there. I'm almost absolutely sure it's going to offend both of your guys' sides, the believers and the atheists. So, at least I'll be uniting you guys in annoyance toward me?

I have to start off with my background. My mom is from a lower middle class family who was brought up believing in God, because that's their Scandinavian Lutheran culture/morality, but they never attended church. They also didn't think about or discuss religion that frequently.

My dad is from an upper middle class family of Presbyterians, of the old traditional type that believes in attending church more than they actually believe in God. Not that they didn't believe in God, persay. But, it's that old-fashion culture that you go to church every Sunday and wear nice conservative clothes, you have to go to confirmation when you're a young teen to learn the bible for yourself and all, you associate with the other church-goers, you possibly pray every night and teach your children the Lord's Prayer at a young age, but you also don't talk about religion in day to day life. You don't hold contempt for other sects/religions but mostly respect them for following a religious culture in the same way you do. Basically, religion for them is very societal and community based. It's not about evangelizing (which is generally frowned upon when done overtly/obnoxiously) and it's definitely not about preaching everyday to anyone who can hear about how wonderful Jesus is. It's a private matter that you generally don't talk about to those outside of your church. You go to church every Sunday, and in between then you live your regular life. This is my grandfather, my grandmother, and to a slight degree my own father. To this day I have no absolutely no idea how much any of them believes in God. Again, it's that practice that religion is held as a private matter - it's not something that is right to talk about; it is very personal, and you don't want to offend/influence/hurt anyone. It's what you keep to yourself. (I've asked my sister if she believes in God, but I'd never ask my parents.)

I was brought up mostly with the latter with some influences of the former. Basically, I was brought up going to a Lutheran church because my parents believed that was good for my sister and I. They believed in going to church, but we never talked about God as a family but that sometimes morals were backed by God. Sorry that I'm probably repeating myself, but again, it's that practice of the family going to church, but it's up to each family member to personally (and privately) decide what he makes of it.

So, I went to Sunday school every Sunday as a kid. I also prayed every single night from the earliest I can ever remember until maybe 9 months ago. I used to pray as a kid because I was told that's what you're supposed to do. Nobody ever told me I had to pray every night, but I got into the habit. Also, I got kinda paranoid. I would have these long-winded prayers meticulously thanking God for all my family, friends, and pets. It got to be the type of thing that one night I'd pray that God helps my cat get better from her disease. Then, I had to say the same thing about asking God to watch my cat's health every single night, or I was convinced she might die the next day. That type of thing would continue until as a 8 year old I was saying 10-minute prayers (no joke) of repeated stuff every night before I could let myself go to sleep.

Eventually, as a preteen I realized that repeating the same prayer every night didn't really show good faith. I was just being a robot and not genuinely thanking God. So then I started shifting to the complete opposite - I had to say something new and genuine every single night, to show God how truly thankful I was for my good life. But I'd include in there "and everything else I usually say in a prayer" to cover that lingering fear (metaphorically, now) of my cat dying.

In high school I started thinking more and more of the subjectivity of all religions, and how there's really no proof for any divinity. You could say that sometimes I wondered how much I really believed in God's existence, deep down. But I never really pondered it that much, as I chalked it up to this, in the spirit of my dad's family's way: it didn't matter too much. It didn't change anything. It didn't change my praying every single night - because by this time my prayers were therapeutic. As much as I sometimes disliked the routine of always having to pray before I could let myself sleep, I liked and needed the reflection time. It was when I reminded myself of my own relative insignificance and that my problems were in fact petty, no matter how much they may've hurt. It was when I thanked God for everything and remembered how much I really had to be grateful and lucky for.

Honestly, I still believe in praying. I bet I'll go back to it eventually. I only ever stopped praying because I started drinking with a lot more regularity as I entered college. At first I would usually still pray while tipsy-drunk before going to bed. But then I figured to myself it was kinda wrong to pray drunk, so I allowed myself this: if I was drunk, I wouldn't pray that night. For a while I kept to that, but eventually the routine just finally broke.

So maybe it was the stopping praying that allowed me to finally reflect more. Around a month ago I realized I considered myself sort of a closet-atheist. As in, I believed in God in a sort of cultural way, but I ultimately doubt His real existence. I suppose this would be how I believe today.

However, I must say my view of "Christianity" (those who term themselves by "Christian" more so than by their sect, generally because they don't have a sect) as a religion has been tainted. NOTE: I know many people who call themselves Christians (not Anglicans, Catholics) who are the most pious, genuinely good, respectful, caring individuals. Much better people than I could ever hope to be. However, here on out I am going to generalize because the most vocal of these "Christians" I don't usually view as what I just characterized.

One of those non-denominational mega-churches became very popular in my community throughout my youth. These churches are good for many reasons; however, I'm going to list my complaints. Church, as a preteen, is supposed to be boring; that's after Sunday School era (so no more fun), when you're forced to go to church but before you really believe for yourself. You're used to going, but it's boring, plain and simple. My friends who went to this mega-church (and frequently commented how it was superior) did not feel this way. They put on makeup and trendy skirts and tops to go to "church", they had their first spin-the-bottle games at this church, etc. Eventually I went to this church one Sunday with one of my friends. We went to this youth-group type event with a lot of lot rock and roll Christian music and dancing, broke into small groups to talk a bit, and then the youth group leader said a prayer. So, I was like, "cool, that was fun! Do we go to the sermon now?" And my friend laughed at me told me that was the sermon - that was the whole "service." You don't sit in pews, no Eucharist, no sermon, no greeting time where you shake hands with the old ladies - in fact, you didn't see people of different age brackets at all. It was not a family, community thing. It was a time to wear makeup, dance, have fun, and flirt with boys. Anyway, that was my impression of it at the time - it didn't do what church is meant to do: connect you with the community and try to make you think.

Over the years, my contempt for these mega-church non-denominational Christians grew. Mostly because of how loud and intolerant they seemed to me. They would talk loudly about Jesus at every turn, and those who didn't weren't as good. They would ask me what I "was" and I would answer with Lutheran. They would then reply with "Oh. Well, I'm Christian" as if they were better than me. Hello, I'm a Christian too - my contempt for them grew that they didn't understand the concept of differing sects all being Christian. Gradually, these started being the same people who looked down on anyone who wasn't Christian - myself almost included for being Lutheran. (Lol, right.) Anyway, these people still annoy me today, as I feel like they have no respect or tolerance for those that wish to believe (or choose not to) in a different way. And I still believe religion isn't something you should be overly vocal about - it should be a personal matter. That these people can act this way (and did so loudly in my youth) is a large part of why I consider myself semi-atheist now.


So that's my spiel on that. However, I feel like a lot of atheists are just as bad. I was talking to my dad about it - he was telling me how among his intolerant atheist friends he always tries to talk about his church. And among his narrow-minded religious friends he downplays the significance of religion. I feel like that's what you have to do with both parties - the EXTREMISTS, that is. Which together only make up probably 10% of the population, but unfortunately they're also the most vocal. I'm not saying all you here are part of these extreme ends of the spectrum - most of you aren't.

Anyway, my dad and I were saying how it's the same exact person - the intolerant atheist and the intolerant religious person. It's that type of person that has to have a dogma and, mostly, a reason why they are superior. AKA, since I've already burned self-proclaimed Christians so badly: "Atheists are clearly superior because 1) Science proves God wrong. Can people not read a textbook? Evolution is proven. How do you not see that in this day and age? and 2) Religion is so intolerant and has killed, hurt, and still persecutes so many people. Thus, anyone who believes in God is an ignorant, racist, sexist, religious zealot. They can't see clearly and are probably rednecks. They need dogma to give them answers and purpose, they can't just live to live. They're scared." <Those people annoy me just as much. It's the same exact intolerance they criticize. And it's the same need of a reason why they're superior. To them I would say this: "I can be just as smart, clearheaded, and sensible as you are if I believe in God. I was brought up with a religious culture, and I simply agree with it and believe it does a lot of good. It boils now to this: I can believe simply because I choose to believe. " Anyway, I'm sure you religious people could've answered that better, but I believe there are so many things that church is good for.

Personally, I believe attending church is good. It brings a community together. It's kinda sad, but it's often the highlight and possibly only outing of the week for the old ladies at my church. I get offended when people attack church. But unfortunately, I feel like there's getting to be less and less of the church-goers of my father's family: those who don't push religion on anyone, but believe in going to church and deciding the matter privately for oneself. I feel like this used to be the majority of people (Americans, at least, as that's the culture I'm familiar with), but I think lately there's been a widening gap. The traditional denominational churches which I believe more enable this way of practicing are dying out. They're being replaced by mega-churches, which in my opinion often lead more to those sentiments of superiority. And then to combat this (or perhaps it's the other way around, who really knows) the intolerant atheists are growing in number, also, and being just as vocal and self-righteous.

Basically, live and let live, and I strongly dislike when anyone try to sway others into their own (clearly the only correct) belief. Basically, both of the extremes annoy me, just as I probably have annoyed anyone who read any of this post.