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Girlfriends and boyfriends at the age of 10 - 15

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Wed Sep 23, 2009 5:13 am
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Matthew says...



Is it worth it? Is it a good idea? Does hooking up with a girl or guy and starting a relationship and stopping it after a couple of months or so really worth the time? Do teens even know what 'true love' is? I don't, so I don't see the point.

After having a girlfriend for one day, I saw it as pointless. For some reason, I think people should wait. Please show your opinion of this, it could change my mind :wink:
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Wed Sep 23, 2009 9:30 pm
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aestar101 says...



I have never did that. but yeah it seems piontless. if anything its a status thing.
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Wed Sep 23, 2009 9:36 pm
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OverEasy says...



Dating at a young age is more a social experiment than anything else. It's about learning how to interact with people in a romantic setting. I had a "boyfriend" when I was 11, we were a charming little couple, we held hands and gave each other little pecks and blushes. It wasn't a life changing experience, I certainly wasn't going to spend the rest of my life with him, but I learned a lot from it anyways. And from every relationship I've had since then, I've learned a lot. You learn about communication and trust, what to do and what not to do. I'm not saying that it's for everyone, but for some people it's just about learning how to interact with other people. I certainly don't see anything wrong with it, and I wouldn't call it pointless.
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Tue Sep 29, 2009 11:50 pm
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lukas8u says...



In my school it is perhaps the most annoying thing ever. I can agree with what OverEasy says, but unfortunatetly, 99% of relationships before the later teenage years are just a social game.
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Sun Oct 04, 2009 2:31 pm
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100xstupid says...



Well really teenage years are generally spent trying to find an personal identity, so the exoerience may add to that. As overeasy rightly said, they are not pointless and build charecter and social experience. Of course they won't last forever, but the memory will, and that's a powerful tool to help you in later life, when things do get more long term and serious.
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Mon Oct 05, 2009 12:15 am
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aestar101 says...



I dont really think so. Ive seen realtionships in like middle school and many of them are just too imature to understand it as something beyond a social game.
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Sat Oct 17, 2009 6:02 am
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LowKey says...



I had a 'boyfriend' (read: crush) when I was twelve for a couple weeks. We watched Lord of the Rings together and held hands under the pillows (because holding hands was so scandalous, and because a giant pile of pillows on the middle of the couch and both of us stretching our arms under it wasn't obvious at all... xD) and he even kissed my hand once. Which made me giddy and goofy for a couple days after the fact.

It was cute, it was sweet, but it sort of faded after two weeks as we both discovered an amazing passion for video games and Yu-Gi-Oh cards that, quite sadly, was greater than our love for each other. So we faded out of that so there's no real point where it 'ended' and we're still friends today. And really, we're great friends. Before I decided to just skip the high school deal, and while I was still in my first year of it, I considered kidnapping him up to Washington to be my prom date if I hadn't found another person by then.

So I developed some memories and made a friend that I'm still close to today, despite having moved to separate sides of the country three years ago. It was a learning experience, one that laid down the foundations for a 'real' relationship for later. As far as kids having crushes on each other, who are we to deny them that? Even if they think it's serious (come on, who didn't have a "boy/girlfriend" in kindergarten or thereabouts?) as long as they remember they're still kids and don't need to grow up too fast, I really see nothing wrong with it. Even if it's just the social deal, it's a learning experience.
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Sat Oct 17, 2009 8:13 pm
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Gahks says...



I agree that starting that early can be unwise, and you can end up failing to recognise the true power of love as something more than "a social game," as aestar puts it.

To singletons like me: whatever you do, don't get jealous. Rest assured that someone special will discover you someday! Prioritise schoolwork and suchlike over trivial things like teenage romance and getting laid. It's just not worth the trouble.
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Mon Jan 18, 2010 10:31 pm
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Livia says...



It depends on the reason why you want to be dating at that age. Is it because all of your friends have a boyfriend or girlfriend? Or if you want to impress your "friends?" If those are the reasons they are having a girlfriend or boyfriend then yes, it should stop.

I'm in that age range, and I had a relationship not very long ago. There was a dance at my sleep-away camp, and I desperately wanted a date.

Then I met this one guy who I really liked. There was a rule at the camp against sexual contact, so not much happened. But we did talk a lot, and hang out as friends. We, or at least I, considered us as a couple. But the guy was a liar, and turned out to be a big player who was too popular for his own good. I, believing his lies and allowing his flirting with other girls, decided to keep giving him a chance. It ended up with a break-up, him doing the honors.

I learned a lot from this situation, and even though it was extremely embarrassing, I'm very glad I had it.
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Fri Jan 22, 2010 11:09 pm
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Lord Anzius says...



I've got to agree with the deppends. I don't know if this is a cultural thing, but one of my friends who turned 16 recently but started dating his girlfriend at the age of 15 is going to propose. my guitar teacher found his wife at the age of 15. and I can't agree with the experiment partly because that would mean I would have to think of my relationship that I have now as one. It's a long range one and truth be said, it needs work to keep us together because of the distance. I don't know about true love, but this is the closest I've ever got to it, and I already got off the dream cloud state a month ago. So it totally depends on the people.
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Mon Jan 25, 2010 11:45 pm
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Critiq says...



I don't see anything wrong with it. It's like getting a summer job. You get some experience, a little money in your pocket, and then you move on to bigger and better things. Maybe not as much for Middle School, but in High School there are people mature enough to handle it. It doesn't mean anything, and it doesn't lead to any ends, but the experience is good, and you'll probably learn something from it.
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Mon Feb 08, 2010 9:56 pm
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XYZinnia says...



Personally, I think dating during the teenage years (perhaps excluding 19) is rather pointless.

The (original) purpose of dating is to find a spouse. So unless that 17 year old girl with her boyfriend is serious about marriage, I don't understand why she's dating.

I realize some people think children need "experience" in the dating field, so they know what to look for or avoid later, but I don't see why they can't postpone it for was few years.

So that brings to why children would even date in the first place? It's obvious they don't want to get married. If they're lonely, why not have friends? Why do young people now a days seem to compelled to enter a romantic relationship?

In my opinion, kids grow up much to fast these days.




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Mon Mar 22, 2010 4:34 am
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Lil_Pau says...



XYZinnia wrote:Why do young people now a days seem to compelled to enter a romantic relationship?


The power of TV & music, perhaps?

Teens have much more important stuff to do than go dating. And that important stuff is, obviously, schoolwork. In short - dating can't earn you a diploma.

So teens (I'm one too =P), stray away from lovey-dovey stuff, and you'll be on the right track. There's always a tomorrow, anyway. :)
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Mon Mar 22, 2010 11:33 am
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Matt Bellamy says...



Thought I'd share my own experience here. I had a boyfriend when I was fourteen, nearly fifteen. We were friends for a bit first and we liked each other, we had fun hanging out together. Unfortunately, he wanted to do things I wasn't ready for and had trouble saying no to - I did say no to some things and he would lie to me to get me to do them, but I did say yes reluctantly to some other things and I had trouble knowing where to draw the line and how to say no. I was very young in that sense and in that way, it wasn't a good relationship. Of course this doesn't happen in every young relationship but it depends on the people as to how adult they try to make their relationship, and I think it's fine as long as it's just two people having a nice time hanging out together and a bit of a smooch. It can be a fun experience and as long as it stays that way, there's nothing wrong with it and it can definitely be worthwhile. But as I suppose I found out, when relationships progress, you do need a bit of maturity to handle some stuff.
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Wed Mar 24, 2010 8:34 pm
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OverEasy says...



Why do young people now a days seem to compelled to enter a romantic relationship?


You say "now a days" like this is something new, but honestly it's been happening for centuries. The idea of getting married when you're older is actually a relatively new idea. Especially for the women of the world, when most girls were married by the time they were 15, and to be 23 and unmarried made you an old maid. Now to be unmarried at 23 is fairly natural, and to be married at the age of 15 is outrageous. So really, are we entering into romantic relationships sooner or later then we used to?
"I’m selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I’m out of control, and at times I’m hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst then you sure don’t deserve me at my best." --Marilyn Monroe