Young Writers Society

JustSoNinja, that's not actually true. Moat gay people so jot feel that they should be the opposiye gender. That is called being transgender. I am a diological female, who self-identifies as a woman, and is attracted to other women. You'll find that the majority of gay, lesbian and bisexual people identify their gender as matching their biological sex. (Transgender identity is just as valid, I just thought I should clarify the difference)

Oh, yeah I didn't think of that. You've got a good point. Sorry if I offended you at all. ):

It probably can be fixed with therapy, but for most people it's who they are, and they feel it's normal.

Also to be clear, Ninja, no accredited psychological association in America say that it can be "fixed with therapy". Not that there aren't people who try and sell a 'cure', but from a purely medical stand point, these people are not recognised as legitimate.

I am good friends with someone who was very gay during his teens, but through help and therapy decided to fight his homosexuality. He now has a wife and is expecting a child this May. He actually regrets previously living a gay life.

There are people who have chosen not to embrace homosexuality and through therapy have risen above it. However, do I think this should be a way to “cure” all gay people? No. It's a choice. Let them decide.

HaydenSmith wrote:I am good friends with someone who was very gay during his teens, but through help and therapy decided to fight his homosexuality. He now has a wife and is expecting a child this May. He actually regrets previously living a gay life.

There are people who have chosen not to embrace homosexuality and through therapy have risen above it. However, do I think this should be a way to “cure” all gay people? No. It's a choice. Let them decide.

Good for him! It's nice to hear that someone got themselves help, and fought what they wanted to change.

And yeah, I agree with that last part.

I am good friends with someone who was very gay during his teens, but through help and therapy decided to fight his homosexuality. He now has a wife and is expecting a child this May. He actually regrets previously living a gay life.

There are people who have chosen not to embrace homosexuality and through therapy have risen above it. However, do I think this should be a way to “cure” all gay people? No. It's a choice. Let them decide.

I do not mean to dismiss your beliefs or your friend's experience, but I am more inclined to believe that either he was never really gay, or he suppressed his homosexuality and convinced himself that he was happy with women. If you tell yourself something often enough, you begin to believe it.

It is good that he is happy, but I do not like the idea of "rising above homosexuality" for two reasons. The first is that the phrase makes it sound like homosexuality is a negative character trait, like having a bad temper. You can rise above your temper and control it, or you can choose to let your temper control you.

The second is that I believe homosexuality/bisexuality is a part of who you are, and that means you cannot change it. If you prefer chocolate over vanilla, you cannot make yourself like vanilla more. You can tell yourself you like vanilla and eat lots of vanilla and eventually it will be like you prefer vanilla, but you are still a chocolate-lover. You could argue it is not the most appropriate analogy, but that is the way I see it. Someone said that to me once and I really like it.

Maybe I am a little biased, since I am bisexual. However, my parents and family are very conservative and not accepting of homosexuality/bisexuality, and quite a few of my friends are homophobic too. I wish I was straight because it would be so much easier for me, but I do not believe that I could undergo therapy and make myself straight even if I wanted to.

Despite attempts to feed my curiosity, I cannot make myself feel attracted towards men (myself being male), so I would not say it is really a choice.
But I have never really heard of any homosexuals turning straight. In any case, I have always felt that it is the way they are born. Male body with a female brain or vice versa. But anyway, it is not as though there is anything wrong with being gay.

Male body with a female brain or vice versa.

This is an outdated theory. Most gay people self-identify with the gender which corresponds with their biological sex, just like most straight people do. Males who identify as women and Females who identify as men are transexual. Transexual and homosexual are not synonymous terms, but they're not mutually exclusive either. Google it and you'll probably get a better explanation than what I'm giving.
Other than that, Draknghar, I agree with you.

HaydenSmith wrote:I am good friends with someone who was very gay during his teens, but through help and therapy decided to fight his homosexuality. He now has a wife and is expecting a child this May. He actually regrets previously living a gay life.

There are people who have chosen not to embrace homosexuality and through therapy have risen above it. However, do I think this should be a way to “cure” all gay people? No. It's a choice. Let them decide.

I have kissed guys.

I am straight

I am sure that I could do more than kiss guys if I felt I really needed to.

I'd still be straight.

I can't help suspecting that your friend is still gay - he's just now in the closet. He might be acting out a straight lifestyle, but that doesn't necessarily mean he isn't attracted to men.

I find it funny that you guys are so willing to accuse my friend of being in denial rather than even considering that he might have had a change of heart and mind--and all just to try to prove a point. Many people have approached him with these kinds of claims and he is often very offended by them.

He believes (and I share his beliefs) that biology does not totally have to define who we are. We can choose to change some aspects of ourselves with willpower.

Don't make the mistake that I'm equating homosexuality with a disease, okay? My brother was born with a rare, life-threatening illness called Nuclear Factor [Kappa] B Essential Modulator Deficiency, or for short, NEMO Deficiency. It was a part of his genetics, deeper than his blood. However, he chose to change himself. After "therapy" (or in this case, a bone marrow transplant) he changed himself.

My friend, Ben (who I have been talking about), looks at my brother's condition in the same way as his own. He might have been born gay, but he didn't want to stay gay, so he fought to change himself.

He has explained multiple times that he is happier being straight, happier with a wife, and overjoyed with an approaching child.

You guys are obsessed with the idea that people are born a particular way and cannot change themselves or fight against their own nature. We change ourselves every day, we fight some of our natural instincts every day (at least most of us do). My friend did not want to be gay. He wanted to change himself, and he did.

Now, do I think that gay people should be forced to change? No. It's a choice. But, don't be so heartless, cold, and unsupportive if they find themselves wanting to change. "Just because someone is born gay, it doesn't mean they're obligated to live that way," as Ben would say it.

I'm done with this debate, as I don't think arguing with you guys will change anything.

Hmm... Perhaps it would be possible, but I would not call it something that everyone will be able to do. As far as I see it, it is as easy to become straight as it is to become gay for a straight person, and that is not truly easy. But if he had achieved that, then I find this interesting.

Hmm.. I don't know, Hayden has a little point there.

I mean, we hear stories of people who are born a certain way and are expected to act a certain way, but instead they take steps to do the opposite, so to speak.

Things like someone born with a mental or physical disability ( I am NOT saying homosexuality is a sickness, I don't think it is a sickness, per say ) and people expect them to only be able to do this or that, and rise to a certain level and rise no more. Then that person strives to be more, and wows everyone around them by defying those "guidelines". Those guidelines set by something they were born with.

And even color can be an example of this. For those of you that are not aware of this, sometimes "black" people are expected to act "black" by other blacks. If you don't talk a certain way, some might call you white, not real, an Oreo, and other things that are supposed to be negative. You are supposed to act and talk a certain way since you are black. But when you don't and do the opposite, you are scorned and others do not understand why you are so different.

I face that dilemma on a regular basis, so I am not making this up or anything like that. I can either choose to rise to the height I am expected to because I was born with this skin color, or I can choose to define myself, and work to change.

People have gone and defined themselves their way, and have not let what they were "born with" define them. I see this as the same case for homosexuality.
Not forcing people to change, but the possibility to define themselves a different way is there if they really want to do that. And there is nothing wrong with that in my eyes.

It seems improbable that anything other than behaviour has changed, but there are people who honestly identify as 'ex-gay' or believe that they have altered their sexuality. It is important to respect their right to identify in that way. Denying these peoples stories seems unfair.

I'm not here to start a fight, but I'll just clarify what I said in my last post. I'm not denying the validity of Hayden's friend's story. I already said that he may very well be convinced that he's straight, and if he's happier like that than he was when he accepted the fact he was gay, then it's good for him. I'm not questioning his happiness and I would never be ignorant enough to go up to him and say "Oh, you're not actually straight," because I respect the fact that he's choosing to live as a straight male.

However, I just don't think you can really change how you biologically are. You can choose to live differently, and it may work for you, but it doesn't change your biology. There have been a lot of studies into a gay gene. What if there is a gene, or a set of genes, that contribute to homosexuality? Then all the people who were once gay and are now living straight - they haven't changed their genes, they've changed their mentality. Their biology and their thought process are completely separate issues, so they can choose to act straight but, biologically, I believe they will still be gay.

If being gay is really making someone unhappy and they have the willpower to give themselves a straight mentality, then, as I said, it's good for them. I won't dismiss their experience or say that their happiness or heterosexuality is fake, but I just think that your mentality and your biology are different things. You can change your mentality, but you can't change your biology.

I mean no offence by my opinion. It's my opinion and isn't a debate a place for opinions? Hayden, I wasn't attacking, and I wasn't looking for a fight. I'm open to other people's opinions if they're open to mine, and I find it fascinating whenever I hear stories of people who were gay and chose to live as heterosexual.

Ladies and gentlemen, everyone is different. Maybe you don't understand it, but be considerate. People have feelings that they can't control. How do I know? Because I've been there. I'm a proud bicurious. People can change themselves but only if they themselves want it, not by manipulation from other people. Love is universal and it doesn't matter who you share it with, as long as you and that other person are happy together. Be proud of who you are because there is no one else on Earth who is like you. Haters are just jealous of your awesomeness and confidence in yourself. Also, if there is a God and we were created in his image, that would make him a mixture of every race, preference, and identity.

As a gay friend of mine said, "Kim Kardashian had a seventy-two day marriage and they say WE'RE ruining the sanctity of matrimony?"

And as RuPaul the Drag Queen Extraordianaire said, “If you don't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?” Can I get an amen in here?