Young Writers Society

Ok so I am new here and I literally just joined like a half hour ago. I took some time to look around browse over some writing and some forums. Then I took some time to think of an idea to start off with here. Well here is a summary of my idea, please give me tips and reviews of what you think.

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Lana lives in the normal human world, acting like every other 16 year old. But she has a secret. She of course isn't normal. Lana has a mark on her wrist that has a symbol, she doesn't really know what it is but she knows it could get her into trouble, she just has that feeling. Lana is what humans that hunt her call the Chosen. Being chosen means she has abilities that are considered dangerous and unknown to humans. The humans have gone into a peculiar way of living. If it's different and unknown it is dangerous. At least that's what the government has led the citizens into believing. But really the government just doesn't want these so called Chosen people to uncover what they can do. Each Chosen has the common abilities and one unique ability. The common abilities are noticing lies, being faster than most, and most of all keen hearing. But Lana is a special case, she is the first and only hybrid. She doesn't notice lies and she is just slightly faster than others, barely noticeable. She doesn't have keen hearing either. She has the mark but only some people have seen it and just assume its a weird birthmark since she doesn't really show any other abilities. But she does have a unique ability and when its a few days after she turns 16 she her ability shows. Another chosen sees it and he is strict with her and tells her to learn how to hide it if she wants to stay alive. But the hunters start to watch her closer..... will she stay alive?

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What do you guys think?
Symbol is below.

*Stealz idea*
Muahahahahahaa!

Lol, jk. It was pretty cool! Mind if I use it for something, *glares at storybook section* but give credit to you?

As long as you give credit to me and don't make it into a full book thing I am going to do that lol.

But yeah anything else for like a forum or whatever you can use it for.

i feel like i've seen/read this story a hundred times. a young person with strange abilities, a more experienced person comes along and teaches them how to use their abilities and outrun the organization that wants to destroy them/harness their powers. in fact, i just saw two movies recently on tv that follows this exact plot (Push and Jumpers).

if i were you i'd try to think of a twist on the plot. maybe the protagonist wants nothing to do with her powers and shuns the help, and the more experienced stranger has to pursue her, maybe the evil organization (in this case the government) are actually the good guys and the experienced stranger is a madman bent on using the protagonists power for evil, but plays it like he's good.

just ideas to spice things up.

Alright I will think about it.

I agree with horrendous. As a published author, Let me tell you how hard it is to rise above the "noise." You have to have something unique, or something that really stands out in your story. Like, 90% of the fantasy stories now begin/take place in a school or camp. It's a ripoff from Rick Riodan or J.K. Rowling. I recommend doing a little research on some real subjects that have current day scientists baffled, or things that have been put away as something to be forgotten. To give you a little idea, I'll use the book I'm currently working on. Its basis is Telekinesis. Humans can only use about 3% of their brain. The book is about a scientist discovering how to remove the mental block, and unlocking the secret to telekinesis. The problem is that along with the telekinesis, the rest of its secrets come with it. Essentially, the scientist rediscovered magic.

This book is based off of 2 things that can be found in the real world.
1st, telekinesis. there are people who can actually move or slightly influence things with their mind. It is a mostly taboo subject with scientists though, so it gives the book a lot of mystery.
2. Legends of Magic. When almost every place in the whole world has nearly identical stories about people with "powers" who could control elements and the such, chances are that it's true. Just something to think about.

Okay.

Yes the idea is rather generic. But you want to know a secret? All ideas are.

Seriously! All ideas when stripped down are the single most generic things ever. There's the concept of "rags to riches" which is everything from a cinderella story to the American Dream. There's the underdog, there's the handsome prince, there's learning wisdom, there's defeating monsters.

These are all stories. These are all stories we've read a million times.

What makes them good is their authors.

Absolutely every single idea can be amazing or horrible. The trick is figuring out why you want to tell that story, and what elements you're going to combine to make it your own.

This skeleton has plenty of room to be interesting. I'm just going to ask you a few questions to help you out.

1- What makes her the first hybrid? It's just fine having a "only one who can do this" (regardless of how many people cringe when you tell them you have one!) but you need a reason why they're special. Are Chosens evolving? Are they weakening? Are they getting better at hiding, and one of them finally has a normal life? Or are humans evolving to become Chosens?

2- Why can only a few people see her mark? Why is her mark mistaken for a birthmark?

3- How does she feel at finding out she's a Chosen? She's grown up her whole life knowing these people are dangerous, unknown, mysterious... maybe even evil. She doesn't live in a vacuum where she won't be affected by the beliefs around her.

Those are the two big ones. I think you have a lot of potential in here. Really, you honestly do. I love stories about people discovering themselves, and having to change as they discover more about what they know.

Key things to remember when you're using a really popular story structure:

1- Character! The more you flesh out the character and their voice, the more you can stand out of the crowd. Having a backstory for the character, and a worldview for that character, is really important to make things interesting. Voice is basically how they talk about the world around them. Worldview is how they see the world.

Do not be afraid to get dirty with this. Hate along with love. Enemies along with friendship. Bigotry along with acceptance (this one, in particular, I would pay attention to. She has grown up in a world where Chosens are hated. She's going to go through an emotional roller coaster finding out she is one).

2- Worldbuilding! Figure out a lot of how that world actually works. Put in traits the culture values, what's "just right" in terms of skills, what's "too much". What are the insults thrown around? It wouldn't surprise me if people get called "chosen" in a nasty way when they had really good hearing, or were the fastest in track consistently. Has your MC gotten this?

We all live in a place that tells us to be a certain way to be "acceptable". What's the "acceptable" in that world? Who do her parents want her to be? Who do her friends want her to be? Who does she want to be?

3- Consequences! Make sure everything that happens ends up with consequences. One proverb I follow is: "Using coincidences to get your characters into trouble is good writing. Using coincidences to get your characters out of trouble is cheating." Make life hard for the character. Make her history impact her present. Make her friends impact her choices. Make her family impact her choices.

This means her life all fall apart at once. That she won't want to do things she should. That she'll mess up royally. And this is a good thing. It means she'll grow, and it means you'll have to dig deeper to write. Those stories are the ones that have staying power, because you see the reason why things happen. Your character is a different person at the end of the story.

Good luck!