Young Writers Society

Okay, so I've been thinking about a story idea for a long time. I want an opinion on it please. I have write the first two pages, but think they suck. The first chapter will be posted soon. Anyway, my idea!
Eleanor Grenefeld, a thief, and her best friend Samuel, a pickpocket, are under threat. They live in an abandoned tavern in the city of Arin, where they are constantly living in fear of the Lawkeepers. The Lawkeepers are just one of the many guilds in the Realm, who provide everything it needs. But even they are on the edge. Children are disappearing and the Lawkeepers are being attacked. The unknown Guild of Thieves have been stealing children and forcing them to become soldiers to attack their greatest enemy, who are the Lawkeepers.
When Samuel is caught and hung for his crimes, Eleanor knows it is time to flee. But when the Guild of Thieves try to recruit her, she readily agrees, understanding what their life is like. But time is running out, an her actions could change the Realm forever.
This will be a series if books.
Thanks

Okay . . .

Reading this tells me one thing for sure. You've got an original, and really cool sounding story-world going here. I advise you to do this . . . try to break your story out of line and make your character a better person. Thieves aren't good people and they don't make good characters in war or otherwise.

I advise you to try to sit down and write a lot of information on your story world (world building is essential to fantasy story world). Then build your characters. Introducing them A: Very peacefully/ or B: Very violently.

Hope I helped.

I'd say write it. See where the story goes.

I do disagree with a few points Black made, though.

1- Thieves aren't always bad people. Some of them have no choice but to steal, just to make ends' meet. Some hate that they have to steal, while others are fine with it. Develop every thief as a person, not as a stereotype.

2- Thieves can be absolutely awesome in war, especially if it's organized crime. In which case they are also probably traders and have a whole lot of connections. Do research into organized crime, gang wars, and drug trade. "Thieves' Guilds" have existed in various ways, but not under that name. There are a ton of places to look and it can be really fun.

3- There is this thing called a "tragedy" which doesn't require the character to be a better person. "Character development", while important, doesn't necessarily require making the character a better person. Just a different one. Not all stories require a better person progression. Some hardly have the character change. Others have the characters change a lot, some for the better, some for the worse. Whether or not they change (and how they change) does not determine the literary merit. Hamlet has the titular character become a worse person, and it's still one of the most acclaimed plays of all time.

I love this idea!

I think it provides huge opportunities for tension and development. The moral lines are so ambiguous you could turn any situation into a thought-provoking or concience-twisting dilemma.

Don't worry if the first few pages suck, especially if you're looking at a series. You're going to re-write the beginning twelve times during your first draft of the novel anyway, so just go wherever your ideas take you.

Also, when you post it online, you're probably going to get some critical feedback but I'll warn you in advance not to let it discourage you. For now just focus on getting it written rather than the quality of it.