Young Writers Society

Hello,

So... I have an idea that I've tested around a bit. I had some of it posted on another website, but since no one goes online there anymore, I have no one to give me feedback. I wanted to know if anyone has any ideas on this. I haven't written anything on it in quite some time, so I'm going back through, reading it, and rewriting some of it.

Any comments on this little prologue type thing?

Thanks!

Prologue:

She was, by far, the most desirable person I had ever met. Everyone meets people and thinks they are the most beautiful, but they are replaced by another soon after. Not this girl; she was the one to end the chain. There was only one problem: She definitely wanted me dead. Isn’t that what everyone always says? Sure, people joke about the issue, but once in a lifetime, you’ll meet the one person who isn’t joking. She was mine.

This girl, so far removed from anything I’d ever seen in life; she was a killer. No one would ever know, so how did I? I had seen her in the act. Now there was only one thing left for her to do: take me out. I was a liability, a risk, because I knew who she was, I knew what she did. I was faced with a dilemma: find the most desirable woman to ever walk the Earth or save my life by staying away from her.

I find that idea rather interesting.

My best advice is to write it. If you like it, and you want to write it, get words down.

Ideas are very hard to judge. Incomplete first drafts are also very hard to judge. That's because they have pretty much nothing but potential. You have to have simply get the story out and keep working it till you're happy with the results.

My one suggestion would be to keep as many options for how the story's going to end open as possible. Black and white isn't fun to read, so have lots of different greys in there so you can keep readers interested.

I think I get the background of the story now that I've read you prologue! So, it's like an action/suspense thing laid out on the backbones of romance. Cute. I have to say, though, these kinds of stories should be hardly thought out; killings should be planned. Science needs to be applied. In other words, you need to expand more.

You've written you prologue, now try to widen more you views. You have your main plot, so what happens in between? What are the traps and killings the girl did or will do and how will those lead up to the ultimatum of the story, which now involves you mc.

Now, on your mc. You told us in the prologue that he is a liability, an asset or something. But why? I think it would be very simple if he'd just 'see' her. This is where your creativity comes in. Add backgrounds! Make character histories and have all of the, meet at some points in the story! I know you can do this one.

Okay, so my final advice? Write. You have the backbone now, so write and write until your happy with it! Well, since this has an air folky story into it, it would be best to jot down every important key points and objects (this includes facts, of course) in every scheme you tag in there! The idea's great, but the real judgment if the idea is great for a novel can only be revealed with an almost finished draft or work.

PS I think the more proper term is premise, don't you think? A prologue is something that had happened prior to the events of the story or something like that, and from what you've written, I think you just introduced us to you story, which what a premise does. Just a thought, but it's your work, of course!

Hope I helped