Young Writers Society

Okay, so my character is in a coma and important things go on as she is in the coma. My friend recommended me to have the mc(Kyra) be in a "spirit form", like having an out of body experience and watching what is going on. She is in a coma but is still seeing and hearing everything in "spirit" form.

Questions to help pondering...

1.Any ideas on how to start off the chapter?

2.Like, how to say that she is lingering around her body watching the scene and discussion before her?

3.Do I say she is in a spirit form?

4. Does she know what is happening?

5. When she wakes up, does she think it was a dream?





**The story is a fantasy/science fiction, so her being in a spirit form would be pretty normal.

This is first person, right? In which case, you're limited to what she can feel, see, and think.

First off, determine if she's been in spirit form before or knows about it. If she has (either been in or knows about it enough), she'll recognize it. If she hasn't, then she won't know what's going on.

Second, determine how spirit form is different from physical, if there's anything different at all. This establishes what she can feel through her senses and how her body feels. Seeing as first person is completely limited to the person's head, what she can feel through her senses is really important.

Third, determine why most people enter spirit form and what they think of it after. Also establish a difference between those who enter it with knowledge of what a spirit form feels like and those who don't.

That should answer your questions. If it's third person, the above should still apply for the most part, but you have more freedom with author insertions about what's going on. In first, you have to get all your answers from the character and not insert anything that she wouldn't know.

1.Any ideas on how to start off the chapter?

Preferably at the beginning. Although, you could start at the end of the scene/ordeal, and work backwards, or start in the middle and kind of smush everything together.

2.Like, how to say that she is lingering around her body watching the scene and discussion before her?
"I was lingering around my body watching the scene and discussion before me."

3.Do I say she is in a spirit form?
Does she know... Oh, right.

4. Does she know what is happening?
Do you want her to know what is happening?

5. When she wakes up, does she think it was a dream?
Nah, dreams are too easy to get over. Screwing with her head is much more fun for both you and the reader.

Okay, I know, not very helpful. Right?

This is your story, and these are some pretty big decisions you have to make. It's easier to follow other people in their advice because that means you don't have to think for yourself, and you don't spend hours wondering if you've made the right choice.

Generally I go with the option that is more stimulating, because it's more fruitful in the long run. If you really want to get to know a person (or a personified plot) then you can ask them their name and where they come from and what they do for a living. Or, you can stab them with a needle and see what colour they bleed.

The latter is much more interesting. In your plot go with whichever idea you find inspires you more. If you're unsure of whether to say she's in spirit form or not, try a different word. You could just say 'I felt like a floating marshmallow,' and see where that goes.

Whatever choice you make, it's your choice. Be bold and have a little faith in your own creativity. (Which, by the sound of your novel, you have a plenty abundance of.)

First of all, I noticed at the bottom of your post you said this is a fantasy/science-fiction novel. Not to be rude or anything, but your wrong. By adding fantasy elements it makes it impossible for it to be science fiction.
I think the best way to say it is the way that Orson Scott Card put it in his book How to Write Science Fiction and Fantasy. He said "Science fiction is about what could be. Fantasy is about what couldn't be.". If that statement is true then you cannot have something that is both.
Although I do find a lot of fantasy novels that have elements in them that you'd expect to find in a science fiction novel, and I believe that is what most people mean when they classify their novel as both.



And now to answer your questions to the best of my abilities...


1.Any ideas on how to start off the chapter?

This is the thing that tends to stump most people. What I suggest is to pick a random place. Then have someone who doesn't know this story read it, and ask them where in the book they'd expect to find it(make sure you do not tell them it's supposed to be the beginning until after they read it, although if you don't want to tell them at all you don't have to. But now matter what they cannot know until after they answer the question). They will give you one of three answers...

"At the beginning", if you receive this answer then you have two choices. One you can keep this as your beginning, or you can try starting it at different places(slightly after this original try, a little before it, quite a long time before it, doesn't matter), asking different people where they'd expect to find these beginnings, and then use whichever one you like best.

"At the middle", if you receive this answer then again you will have two choices.
You can back it up. Rewrite the beginning only starting sooner, then ask a different person where they'd expect to find this new beginning.
Or you can keep this as your beginning, but have the characters fill in what has happened before.

"At the end", if you receive this answer then you should probably just rewrite the beginning. You could probably do something similar to the second option with "at the middle", but it would probably be a little harder to pull off. I recommend just rewriting it.

That's just an idea on how I'd make sure I'm starting at the right place...


2.Like, how to say that she is lingering around her body watching the scene and discussion before her?

This can be tricky. What I suggest is just make comments about her looking at herself, people not being able to hear her, she can't touch stuff, things like that.


3.Do I say she is in a spirit form?

^ I'd say the same as above.


4. Does she know what is happening?

This is entirely your choice. The usual is that the person doesn't know whats happening, and then they figure it out. It would probably be more interesting if you just went with either her knowing or her not knowing, because those are less common.

5. When she wakes up, does she think it was a dream?

Again, this is your choice. Myself, I think it'd be more interesting if she couldn't decide. If she simply remembered what happened, but it didn't feel like a dream so she spends a lot of time trying to talk herself in to believing it was a dream, even though she has a feeling it wasn't. But that's just personal preference, anything would be interesting.


I hope this helps.