Young Writers Society

Ideas, especially in rough form, are fairly impossible to judge for quality. Everything has the potential to be good or bad.

I do think you have something interesting here. I'd look into what makes his idea more real— why the Time Pieces were created, what purpose they serve, how they're treated in society. How did people become Time Pieces? It doesn't seem like they were born into it— are these people who had heart illnesses, died from heart attacks and were saved just in time (pardon the pun, it was unintentional)? Do they remember their former lives? How was their free will removed? How is their obedience enforced? What do they feel about heir forced obedience?

Also, what time period will you be drawing from? A sort of steampunk/gaslamp era (usually Victorian/from he Industrial Revolution to before the 1900s), or futuristic? The fact you're using gears implies the former, though. (The difference between seampunk and gasplamp is that steampunk tends to be more mechanical and relies on more sci fi tropes, while gaslamp is often magic-based and is more fanasyesque)

Those are just a few questions I'd ask myself to start building the starting point, and maybe a bit of history directly leading up to this. Looks like it's a fun project!

I agree with Rosey Unicorn, it sounds fun, but could definitely go either way depending on how it's done; at such an early stage it's hard to tell. I would go with it if you love the idea! The worst that could happen is you don't like how it's going, and you restart, or scrap it later, but at least you should give it a chance. You should never be afraid of making something stupid, I always say. It's all part of the process of making something awesome.

Anyway, a question I had about your plot is if the "master" (for lack of a better word, I guess) is sending the people orders, how much power does he have over whether or not they do them? Like, are they the type of orders people get where they can chose to follow them or not, or are they like somehow physically forced to do them? Just a thought, but otherwise, really cool idea.