Young Writers Society

I've recently begun trying to think out a story - some characters (the good guys) are solid in my head and have been for quite a while, but I struggle to find an antagonist that does them justice. It's a fantasy story, a Middle Earth-ish type of setting, and the characters I have are:

Annabelle - A princess, coming of age, trying to learn how to best lead her people. She's more of a shy type, very level-headed and soft-spoken.

Desiree - Annabelle's maid and surrogate mother, though she's only 3 years older. In terms of personality, very hot-tempered and protective.

Ember - A witch, older than all of the other main characters (a bit shy of 40), very powerful and reclusive, but kind. She's an excellent healer, very in tune with nature, and she is dedicated to helping Annabelle in any way she can.

Juvenis - Ember's right-hand woman, a former thief and murderer (though it's rarely talked about and not well-known). She's easily the most threatening and intimidating, but her dedication to Ember is beyond any short description.

I love these characters to death, so I really don't want to ruin their story with a crappy bad guy. I'm trying to avoid cliches as much as I can, and I'm not having a ton of luck. If any of you have any advice or ideas, I'd be very grateful. Thank you!

Hello hello!

Before I get to your question, I'm afraid I'll have to ramble at you. I do this a lot, so there's no reason to be alarmed. In fact, it's impossible for me to answer any question without rambling. Grab some popcorn or something.

My first observation while reading this post is how sweet your main characters are. Depending on what kind of story you're writing, this can be a good thing. Your characters remind me of the sorts you'd find in one of the cute animes or mangas, or a cartoon of some other origin, or a Disney movie. Which is awesome, because a lot of people love those sorts of stories, where the separation between the good guys and the bad guys is as clear as apples and oranges.

And so if this is what you had in mind, then the thing to remember is that even if we're talking apples and oranges, all these characters are still fruit. i know, I know, this is an absolutely horrifically cheesy metaphor. But it's the one I have.

So if you want a good villain orange to go with your apples, you need to think about making him or her a good fruit. That is, a good person. Not in the goodness sense of good, but the completeness sense of good. You want to give your readers a believable orange. Not a cardboard cutout. Not some freezed thing. But a real fresh orange. And to do that, you need to grow the orange tree. What circumstances led to this villain's switch to the bad side? Was he born bad? Was everything going peachy until there was bad weather one year and all his fellow oranges smashed to the ground?

Consider what your villain is after. Personally, I don't find villains who are just plain evil very convincing. Maybe this orange has an evil parasite of some sort. Or maybe this orange is just fell the wrong way, or got picked too roughly and bruised. Are the good guys his object, or are they just simply in his way?

Imagine the orange as the protagonist of the story. How would things look different? How would they be the same? Are the Apples still nice and shiny?

Horrible metaphor aside now.

It can also be that you want something a little more in shades of gray. In the case, you need to temper your main characters so they aren't so Disneyrific. I can see the hints of it already. How does that last character feel about murdering someone? Why did she steal? Think of it like adding chili pepper into chocolate. These characters don't need to be all shiny and spiffy to be beloved. In fact, feel free to dive into the nitty-gritty.

Because if you dive into the nitty-gritty with your main characters, then you have all the more leeway to dive into the nitty-gritty with your antagonist, or villain, or orange, or bad guy. And that's when things get really fun, if you ask me.

So I suppose my main point is to look at your characters like characters. Ask questions of their pasts and presents and futures. Ask why they did this, why they didn't do that, why they said this, why they didn't say that even though they meant that. Look at that apple tree, or orange tree, or pear or cherry or peach or plum or nectarine tree, and pick the fruit that make the best fruit salad. Layers of textures and flavors, personality traits and flaws and weaknesses and pasts and presents and futures.

I apologize if that was horribly confusing.
Rach

Rache made a good point. One of the key mistakes people make with bad guys is not developing them enough. You should know and be able to empathise with your baddie as much as you can your goodie.

Some bad guy cliche's that annoy me are:

~ Greedy bad guys: They're simple, shallow and stupid.
~ Evil bad guys: Nobody is evil just because they are. Everyone has a reason.
~ Rule the world guys: Surely they have something better to do with their time.
~ Prejudiced guys: prejudice is a nice touch to any character, but when it is the only motive it's dry and boring.
~ Honest bad guys: Give your bad guys a real virtue, rather than one that compliments their evilness.


What makes a bad guy interesting?

~ Motive for evil: Goodies want power and revenge and whatnot just as much as baddies, it's about why they chose the bad route to get it.
~ Love: The warlord with a thousand slaves is one thing, the warlord with a wife is much more interesting.
~ Passion: Boring people have no passion, your bad guy needs something to strive for and believe in.
~ False familiarity: A stranger killing his neighbours children is a bad guy, a father who kills his childrens friends is just twisted, because a father is a familiar figure and you wouldn't expect it.


Don't forget, analyse stories whenever you hear them- news reports, movies, books, stories your friends tell you. Learn what makes a bad guy, the ones that people hate most and remember most.

RachelElg - Thanks so much for the advice! In terms of my characters, it's pretty tough to give the full scope of their pasts and personalities in such a brief summary. I probably should have given more detail, it's hard to give advice when you know so little about the other characters and their lives up until the beginning. Here's a bit more of their histories - I am now going to try and out-ramble you
*Their ages are how old they are when my story actually begins

Annabelle (age 18) - Her mother died when she was born, and her father, the King, was actually the younger of two brothers. The elder yielded the crown to him because he didn't think that he could deal with the pressure and power that came with ruling an entire country. Therefore his son (who I had imagined would be the bad guy, but was hesitant about) was cheated out of his chance to rule, and Annabelle became the next in line instead. Annabelle inherited her uncle's insecurity, but felt that giving her eventual control of the country over to her cousin would be a mistake. She instinctively knew how greedy and jealous he was, and she doubted that he would act in the best interests of the people. I want to explore the idea that he is, in fact, somewhat correct in his desire for the crown. Annabelle is insecure, which isn't something you want to see in a Queen, and it really should have been him as the next ruler. However, he is much more vulnerable to selfishness than Annabelle, making her the more benevolent ruler. She would have the welfare of the poeple in mind, while he would only be thinking about his own desires.

Desiree (age 21) - Her background is the one that I'm still in the process of fully fleshing out. Her father was in some position of power, perhaps a mayor or religious leader, and he was extremely controlling and oppressive. Her mother was no better, and they were both very against her having any power the path of her own life. She really became aware of this when she was around 7 or 8, and she ran away to meet one of her sisters (1 of 5) who had taken off a while ago and worked as a maid for the royal family. She ended up hopelessly lost, of course, but ended up catching the attention of a young Ember, who pulled her off the streets. Ember had connections to the young King (discussed in a bit), and was able to reunite Desiree with her sister and get her a job working with her sister as another maid. Desiree ended up being the playmate and then caretaker of Annabelle. Ember kept an eye on her for the rest of the time until the beginning of the story, and therefore ended up watching Annabelle grow up as well.

Ember (age 37) - She grew up in a coastal city and was raised by her father. Like Annabelle, her mother died when she was born, but Ember also fell very ill after her birth and only barely survived, leaving her with unnaturally white hair and a pale complexion for the rest of her life. She was close to her father, who was very protective of her and kept her sheltered for a long time. Her father was an accomplished swordsman and blacksmith, and made many weapons for the King and his men. Her father actually maintained a friendship with the King, though Ember didn't take advantage of that until Desiree came along. In lieu of making close friends and marrying, she became very close to nature and delved into her magical abilities that came from her mother's side. She became quite powerful and self-sufficient, leading her city to trust her with delivering a message (perhaps the census) to the King when she was 26 or 27. Shortly after leaving, she recieved word that her father had died after falling from a horse. She, of course, was heartbroken and didn't want to return home and deal with the rest of her family, who she hated. She decided to take the census to the King and live on her own in the forest, which she did after helping Desiree and meeting up with Juvenis (mind you, she had Juvenis living with her as well). She continued honing her abilities through all this time.
There are hints of a romantic relationship between Ember and Juvenis, but they are extremely close-mouthed, and all there really is to support it is rumor.

Juvenis (age 35) - Juvenis had the darkest childhood. Her father was a notorious drunk, and she, her mother, and her two little sisters lived in fear of his abuse until she was 19. Then, after she and her sisters tried to flee, he went off the deep end and beat her mother and siblings to death. He tried to do the same to his, but he was so drunk and she was so furious that she managed to overpower him and hit him hard enough on the head to daze him or knock him out. Then she burned the house down around him and the corpses of her little sisters and the mother, who she loved dearly. She spent the remainder of her time before she met Ember working as a thief and a whore, either ambushing travellers and taking their money or sleeping with the wealthy and making off with their gold and valuables. She tried to rob Ember on Ember's way to the King, but Ember fought her off with the abilities she had been developing since childhood. She actually showed Juvenis kindness, and though Juvenis spent little time around her before running off, she continued to follow Ember, eventually revealing herself and deciding to join her in her travels. The loyalty she has for Ember comes from the fact that there was no one else in the world who made her feel safe, and Ember saved her from a life of pain and loneliness

I hope you have a better idea about what my characters are like now, and I'm trying to keep them from being too perfect and fruity, so any advice there would be welcome. I really appreciated your response, it was really well thought out and I'll definitely be considering it as I move forward with this idea. If you have any time to help me more, I would really appreciate it - I've never had anyone to talk about ideas with, so all of a sudden having all of these intelligent writers to go to for advice is really overwhelming!! This site is freaking awesome.

Tenyo - That was really helpful I'm really happy to have a list of stupid cliches, because they bother me too, and I really want to avoid writing them. And what you said about familiarity was freaking genius, thank you!!! You seriously have no idea how helpful you just were, I owe you.

She instinctively knew how greedy and jealous he was

Hold it right there! Don't say she knows instinctively, when you can show readers what he's like. Even if he and Annabelle live in different households, you can show how he behaves when they are together.

...Is the protagonist of their own story.