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Devan's Novel Idea of Questionable Awesomeness

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Wed Mar 21, 2012 9:30 pm
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DevanEWilliams says...



So, this is quite confusing and might take a lot of time to explain, but I hope it will be worth it. This is an idea for a novel that I may write. (Actually, by "may" I mean "will.") I might make some changes to it before I begin, and I would love your opinions!

SETTING:
The time is ambiguously in the future, and it has a rather post-apocalyptic feel to it. Details in that respect are still to be figured out.
The main character resides in a small village that is essentially isolated from anything and everything. They are surrounded on all sides by forest, and they are all afraid to venture in because there are rumored to be strange creatures lurking there. Also, being a village strongly rooted in tradition they are afraid of change.They are aware, however, of an outside power, which they call The Government, that occasionally sends them supplies and food, and also provides their area with electricity. Power runs from dawn until dusk, at which point it is entirely shut down. Due to several reasons that will be explained later, people are beginning to suspect that The Government is slowly crumbling, and the villagers fear that it will cause their downfall as well.

BACKGROUND:
How the village came to be, exactly, no one knows. (or maybe they do, and I just don't yet :wink: ) Their history is confusing and full of rumors and mysteries. But most people are content to go about their business, and forget that their world is falling apart around them.
However, this false sense of security comes crashing down when they have visitors one night, once the lights are out. People that they call The Soldiers entered the village on horseback and grabbed children off the streets. Not too many, probably less than five. Any attempt to stop them resulted in being killed. They simply vanished, with no communication, and no way to know who they are and where they went.
Despite their complete fear of these unknown people, the lives of the villagers eventually go back to normal....until it happens again a few months later. The villagers now live in constant terror of the Soldiers returning, and they do. But no one ever knows when. And, of course, there is still the question of why.

PLOT:
Cue the main character! I don't have a name for her yet, but she is thirteen years old and lives with her mother and considerably younger sister. Her father was killed by one of the Soldiers a few years back, and she is still scarred emotionally because she was there at the time. Her family is somewhat poor, although not as bad as some. Like the rest of the village, it is getting harder and harder to survive from day to day. One day, she hears talk of a deal that she can make with a friend. (No, I'm not sure what this is yet.) She has the opportunity to make a considerable about of money, and though it is risky, she decides to sneak out at night to make this exchange...or something. But during this time, her sister sneaks out to follow her, and...the Soldiers return. Her sister gets taken.
MC decides that she needs to search for her sister. But no one has any way of knowing where they went, or even if they're still alive. So, she decides to wait outside every night, until the Soldiers come again...and be taken herself.

And....HERE'S where it gets tricky. The original idea I had for what they would discover will not work at all. I'll tell you what I know and any help for what's left would be awesome!

It turns out that the Government is a super-advanced science and technology facility that has done genetic testing on various things....hence the strange creatures that inhabit the woods. They are running the Villages (Yes, there are actually more that one.) but they have grown so obsessed with their work (?) that they are disregarding the welfare of the villages. The Soldiers bring the children, including MC, to the facility for testing of some sort....

And who knows where it goes from there? Not me. :? I'm still working on it. But please PLEASE let me know what you think!

Thanks for reading!
~Devan
Stay away from limbo bears.
And always have extra marshmallows on hand in case of emergencies.

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Wed Mar 21, 2012 10:06 pm
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charcoalspacewolfman says...



Why does power only run 'til dusk?
HMS Tragedy?! We should-we should have known!!!




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Wed Mar 21, 2012 11:14 pm
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DevanEWilliams says...



Good question....I thought it just showed some amount of Governmental control on them. Plus, if they were "failing" (which I suppose they aren't really) They would need to be saving power.
Stay away from limbo bears.
And always have extra marshmallows on hand in case of emergencies.

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Wed Mar 21, 2012 11:35 pm
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RachaelElg says...



Yay post-apocalyptic! I have one of those novels... they're so very fun, to both write and read. So have oodles and goobles of fun :D

I like your villains here a lot, with them taking the kids to do experiments on. These are questions for you to think about, no need to answer them here, but what's The Government's goal here? And why little kids? Why not animals? What is it they're trying to do?

The girl's sister getting taken is also good motivation, and I'm wondering already what other sorts of motivation the older sister might have. Others in the village might have tried this before? Is her little sibling the only one taken?

This deal she originally goes out to make is also really intriguing, possibly. I'm wondering what sort of 'friend' this is, and of course what sort of deal it is.

Also curious as to what sort of trouble the creatures in the woods give them!

So many questions bounding to mind already.
If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.
—James Thurber




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Thu Mar 22, 2012 3:01 am
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Nocturnalknight says...



I second some of Rachael's curiosities on this one. Why just children? What sort of "creatures" are these that are running around in the woods? Etc. etc.

Keep us posted.




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Thu Mar 22, 2012 8:33 pm
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DevanEWilliams says...



Well, I did have an original idea, that did incorporate children pretty well. The idea was that the gov't people sent children out into the forest to find what turns out to be fairies. The scientists wanted to do testing on them. But then I wasn't sure if I wanted to have fantasy in it. Then I had another idea- what if they TOLD the children that they were fairies but really weren't so they could get them to do their work for them? Or possibly the adults were too large and scared these creatures away/the kids can get in the small spaces where they hide? I'm just throwing around ideas for now, I'm nowhere near that point. In fact, I am probably posting the prologue soon. :D
Stay away from limbo bears.
And always have extra marshmallows on hand in case of emergencies.

High Quality Reviews Available Here! viewtopic.php?f=188&t=96280