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Angel

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114 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 5151
Reviews: 114
Sun Aug 21, 2011 1:36 pm
Priceless says...



Hiya everyone!
I'm writing a romance novel, Muslim fiction, for now the working title is Angel. It involves two characters; A-Level students, Noor and Ahmed. They've been in the same class, same school for ages. Noor's had a crush on Ahmed all her life. Buuut they're polar opposites.
She's the quiet, religious, goody-two-shoes softie. He's pretty much the rich, outgoing, party guy. And...looks are very important to him. His biggest fear is getting old and ugly. He always looks on the outside, dates the supermodels, etc. His friends are pretty much clones of him.

So our friend Ahmed gets into a car accident while he's on his way to meet his girlfriend. He gets severely disfigured, and *drum roll* UGLY! His worst nightmare. So he's depressed, angry and cynical. He hates himself cause of his reflection. It doesn't help that most of his friends turn on him and his girlfriend dumps him. He's admitted in the hospital. Back to Noor now. Her family may be the most loving and caring family on earth, but when it comes to boys, even talking to them is a problem. Risking her um..freedom, Noor pretends she's going to a friends' house for tuition when she actually goes to visit Ahmed.
During these visits, they get closer and become good friends. Being friends with Noor sort of changes Ahmed. She shows him the other side of life, the side he didn't know while he was partying like a rockstar. He becomes a better person, although by no means a saint.

Conflict time! Noor's dad finds out about the hospital visits, and, because they feel she's embarrassed her family, he's about to marry her off, no school, no university, nothing. Noor finds a way to let Ahmed know all this, and he realizes he's fallen in love with her.

So..happy ending.

Or not. :twisted:
I've already posted the first draft of the first chapter up: viewtopic.php?t=84706
Now I'm taking a break from the novel to plan it out and get to know the characters and stuff.

What do y'all think? ^.^
We're all a little weird. And life's a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.




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963 Reviews



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Mon Aug 22, 2011 4:03 am
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Rosey Unicorn says...



I think it'd be kinda cool if you included more of her culture and subplots in there— basically, more conflict.

This looks like an interesting main plot that can really show a lot of cultural nuances, but I'd like to see a bit more, you know? More people notice her missing, something starts suffering, there's an internal dilemma and an external one, ect. Maybe she'd been already fighting off marriage negotiations but that pushes her father over the edge.

But I like a fair number of subplots in a novel because it fleshes out the slow spots and lets you show a wider range of character. A single plot can be difficult to handle when you're wanting to show things about the character, because it limits the number of situations you can put a character in (most of the time). Subplots, for me, show a wider range.
A writer is a world trapped in a person— Victor Hugo

#TNT




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114 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 5151
Reviews: 114
Mon Aug 22, 2011 9:37 am
Priceless says...



That's a great idea..thanks for the advice, I'll beef up the plot now. :)
We're all a little weird. And life's a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.




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552 Reviews



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Sat Sep 10, 2011 4:27 pm
MiaParamore says...



I haven't read the novel's first chapter yet, so I won't be commenting much about the story.

As Rosey said, it's really important for you to explore and expose the readers to the conservative family Noor has and if it's due to her culture that she's not allowed to talk to boys. I think the answer is yes.

Anyways, the story in itself isn't entirely fresh or new, but I really think you can make it a good piece with your own writing and adding things which Rosey suggested you to. :)

G'luck! :D
"Next time you point a finger
I might have to bend it back
Or break it, break it off
Next time you point a finger
I'll point you to the mirror"

— Paramore




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Tue Sep 13, 2011 8:48 pm
Blues says...



Just came across this when I YWS-searched my name (LOL!) xD

Sounds really interesting. I'd like to check it out soon :)




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114 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 5151
Reviews: 114
Wed Sep 14, 2011 3:34 pm
Priceless says...



Thanks MiaParamore. :)

Ahmedblues..Hehehehe. don't worry, I picked the name wayyy before I knew you. :P
We're all a little weird. And life's a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.




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Thu Nov 24, 2011 11:19 pm
Redsy says...



Hey priceless, i like the novel already and i do agree with Rosie. :). I think if you also made the novel a bit dark... meaning create all those depressing self talk moments and what i love about it is it reflects cultural barriers between societies, and comflict should arise from that. Find the core ingredient that should make us want to cry or discuss the book after reading it. I think that ingredient can be reflected by one well structured chapter were you higlight the sub themes of the novel and making them relavant and soul moving. So far i love the set up and i wish you all the best, sorry for being late... :)
If it wasn't written on paper, it will be easily forgotten




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Gender: None specified
Points: 813
Reviews: 1
Thu Nov 24, 2011 11:20 pm
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Redsy says...



Hey priceless, i like the novel already and i do agree with Rosie. :). I think if you also made the novel a bit dark... meaning create all those depressing self talk moments and what i love about it is it reflects cultural barriers between societies, and comflict should arise from that. Find the core ingredient that should make us want to cry or discuss the book after reading it. I think that ingredient can be reflected by one well structured chapter were you higlight the sub themes of the novel and making them relavant and soul moving. So far i love the set up and i wish you all the best, sorry for being late... :)
If it wasn't written on paper, it will be easily forgotten