Young Writers Society

Home » Forums » Resources » Writers Corner

For the love of God comment!...Pretty please..... :D

Post a reply
User avatar
6 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 800
Reviews: 6
Fri Jul 15, 2011 6:55 pm
View Likes
Tomboy044 says...



OK, so here it goes. If I get enough positive responses and people ask me nicely :D I will start to put up my story idea. I just want to see if people would actually be intersted in reading it first otherwise... well otherwise it would just be completely pointless...hm...

I got the idea from our modern society. It's dystopia and focuses on the idea of a society left without a government or a royal family after the government assassinated the royal family and became corrupt on it's own power only to later be overthrown by the people. The novel shows the remains of what is left yet has the different viewpoints of different characters.
First of all there is Ailia Clark: a bitter, cynical nineteen year old who grew up in an orphanage and spends all of her energy surviving the ruins of a destroyed democracy. Unable to handle the loss of her dearest friend and partner Fermina Romero she drinks and wallows.
One day she is fighting of an attack when an unknown man comes to her rescue. She flees before reluctantly returning to the scene to defend the man and help him get back to safety. The next day the man turns up at her door (now with protection much to her amusement) and tells her that he is looking for Fermina Romero, not knowing of her death. The unco-operative Ailia orders him to leave.
The man (Boda) orders one of his two bodyguards to keep an eye on Ailia so that she can lead them to Fermina. One of the men protecting Boda (Kain) watches Ailia for the night to see her mourn over a picture and get drunk before falling asleep.
The next morning the very hung-over Ailia gets a grip and leaves the house to once again be grabbed but this time by a teenage drug addict. Kain drops down from above and defends Ailia.
Later on in the story the reader discovers that Boda and his companions are part of an organisation that are trying to rebuild and reinstate the few remaining desendants of all the world's royal families and that they are looking for Fermina to join the rest of the royals and restore order before the corrupt rebel government organisation gets back in power first. (Wow that's a long sentence...) They are dismayed to discover she was murdered.
But are things all they seem. Fermina is dead but was it just a random group of thugs that killed her, like Ailia believes, or is ther more to it? And will her emotional scar ever heal?
...Tadah... Ok so seriously, what do you think? If you want to read more than I've put up a sample but please just let me now if you like it and would be willing to read more!
Happy reading! x
Never give up on your dreams. Dreams make us passionate and life without passion is pointless. x




User avatar
115 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 6675
Reviews: 115
Sat Jul 16, 2011 1:58 am
View Likes
LittlePrincess says...



Sounds like a great story to me. Also pretty challenging but if you are up for it by all means go right ahead!
"One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes."
The Little Prince




User avatar



Gender: Male
Points: 943
Reviews: 4
Sat Jul 16, 2011 4:36 am
View Likes
Dethl says...



Its sound pretty cool! by now it seems like it can develop an interesting story line, I would like to read more :wink:




User avatar
963 Reviews



Gender: Other
Points: 76235
Reviews: 963
Sun Jul 17, 2011 4:15 pm
View Likes
Rosey Unicorn says...



Rather interesting— but I can't say much more than that because all concepts have the possibility to be good or bad depending on the writing quality. You'd need to post so we'd get a better idea of the quality.
A writer is a world trapped in a person— Victor Hugo

#TNT




User avatar
5 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 947
Reviews: 5
Tue Jul 19, 2011 3:15 am
View Likes
DreamingOutloud says...



This actually seems genuinely interesting. If you put up a chapter of your story I think that you'd get quite a bit of feedback. Good luck! :)




User avatar
26 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 2678
Reviews: 26
Tue Jul 19, 2011 6:50 am
View Likes
Skylar16 says...



I would most definitely read this. It sounds very good and I am really into the dystopian theme right now. It sounds like a very good idea, though seems like a bit challenging. If you decide to post it, message me so that I can read it!! :D
When people ask me, why are you so weird, I never know what to say. Then I think, why should I be like this when I can be like ttthhhiiiisss?




User avatar



Gender: Male
Points: 525
Reviews: 4
Sat Jul 23, 2011 8:24 am
View Likes
monolith says...



reminds me of a bella tarr film. probably satantango. sounds great, although places without gobernment have... survived. i think that's what happened to belgium right?