z

Young Writers Society


Story-line testing



User avatar



Gender: Male
Points: 890
Reviews: 1
Tue Oct 14, 2008 2:15 am
denver92 says...



Alright guys this is my first try at a good story-line, this in no way reflects my style of writing i simply rushed through this to see my abilitys of making a storyline so please tell me what you think :)











Demi-Gods 1.Vurn God 1.Achon
2.Scyn
3.Rohj
4.Kyrin

Achon- Creator and ruler of all.

Scyn- Known for deception and trickery.

Kyrun- Known for Beauty and Kindness.

Rohj- Known for Knowledge and eternal life.

Vurn- Known for a Quick-witted mind and a level-head.







Gods Plot- Achon the god of all things grew tired of mastering and creating all things

Known. So the god decided to choose 4 of his greatest Demi-gods, Scyn, Kyrun, Rohj and vurn.

Together they are to bring to life a planet of fruition and greatness to honor the God of

creation. First Rohj the Demi-god of knowledge and eternal life was to create the world it-

self, Rohj having past experience doing so, created it with ease. Then came the beauty of

the world which was done by the Demi-god of attractions and kindness, Kyrun. Next the last

was the Demi-god Vurn's turn, which was to check over the world for flaws and slight frac-

tures which would be most definatly seen in the eyes of the great one. So the world was com-

plete, all things except the races were born which each Demi-god had been given the oppurt-

unity of creating.The Race the Ahlahnai were created first by the demi-god kyrun and placed

in an area of the world all of its own named Ashahn. The ahlahnai were a beautiful race,very bright

radiant skin almost luminecant, bringing out the dark blue eyes of the very over-confident-

race.And lived in a city made of the earth it-self, jewels of the finest quality. The next

race was created by that of the demi-god Rohj who created the race, the Drendons.These were

more of a magical people, focusing on the energies of the cosmos to do there simple tasks

for them, nothing more. They had a fairly strong stature most had long hair and dark skin.

They were placed on a continent of there own named kryorn. The next race to be created was

by the hand of Scyn, the deceiver. Scyn seeing the other races realized he could make a race

far more superior to the rest, and they, his people could slowly take over the world. and so

He created them, Hamans, they had a dark-red skintone, very built and very tall with perfect posuture.

But they could be very flexible and stealhty also. They had akward shaped tusks that

passed downward over the lips and the chin, black eyes with slight illumintaion at the

pupil, Hair is rair but stringy and black, they are also very short tempered, smart, and

organised.But there was one flaw in Scyn's plan, he had forgot vurn had not made his creation

yet and feared the worse.And so Vurn entered the world and started to create the race the demi-

god felt fit. But as the demi-god entered the world a presence of astrall-dissarray was evi-

ident and the demigod quickly sought out the answer and found what it was. High in the mountains

of Ashahn laid a horrid warmongering race even defying the demigod him-self and so the demi

god left the world for the time being to go inform the god of all things Achon. As Vurn

approached the deity he could feel his eyes burning through, peering into his very thoughts.

As soon as the feeling subsided the God rose up in fury and demanded Scyn a punishment of

death and his race be secluded to an island covered in hatred far to the north, and so he did.

But Vurn being the one with a firm head on his shoulders decided to make some changes of his own.

First he created an island far south as far as he could away from the Hamans as possible and

named it paradise and created the most beautiful race ever to be created. But vurn was smart and gave them knowledge

of war and tactics to defend themselves and how to create there own weapons, There name

was the "Trytons".
Walking together towards what lay beyond, both reach out to the void in-between and grasp what is meant to be forever.
  





User avatar



Gender: Male
Points: 790
Reviews: 2
Tue Oct 14, 2008 11:54 pm
heartbeatboy says...



very original, I like the idea of a story centered around the gods of the land rather than its inhabitants. Very nice. Reminds me of Ring of Five Dragons, just a little. Something about it.
  





User avatar
566 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 566
Wed Oct 22, 2008 11:49 am
miyaviloves says...



I love the idea of using gods in a story, and you have a very detailed plot outline here, by having a good knowledge about the characters before hand means that you will not have problems with them later when you begin writing it, I always make the mistake of not developing my characters enough, I might takea leaf out of your book and plan it better!

I think it has plently of potential, PM me if you get any of it posted here, I would love to take a look at it :)

Meevs
x
Bag.

Got YWS?
  





User avatar



Gender: Female
Points: 990
Reviews: 4
Sat Oct 25, 2008 1:43 pm
SaraAnne says...



This looks really good - go for it, I'd love to see it if you post any of it.

:lol:
  





User avatar



Gender: Male
Points: 890
Reviews: 1
Thu Nov 13, 2008 12:29 am
denver92 says...



SaraAnne wrote:This looks really good - go for it, I'd love to see it if you post any of it.

:lol:
Thanks alot guys, for some reason i thought the idea was kind of childish. But looking at it from a different angle changed my perspective. i have nearly completed half the book and i will have it up for all to see. very soon!!!


thanks. "Oh and i have a title now" :)


Ley of the Ancients
Walking together towards what lay beyond, both reach out to the void in-between and grasp what is meant to be forever.
  








WHAT'S UP, POTATOES?
— Rudy (Aru Shah and the Nectar of Immortality)