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Young Writers Society


Im writing a story atm



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10 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 10
Sun Sep 14, 2008 8:58 pm
DreamyMoon says...



Basically the main characte a rich girl called Kiera(KeeKee) lives with her picture perfect parents in the country side who insit on her living the dream it girl life. She spends her days not fiiting in at a provate school but by night she sneaks out feeding her gothic side with eyeliner, dark clithes etc to meet her secret boyrfirend dark where they spend their time in a secret wendy house the have converted into a bedroom.
Then her mothers friend and her daughter move over form Australia and Kiera becomes friends with the Daughter, Esme who like her is a average girl trapped in a over the top loaded lifestyle. Keira also meets Esme's brother who is every gorls dream guy and ends up falling for him at all the party she swore shed never go to with all the people she swore shed always hate.
In the end she has to choose between her previous lifestlye of secrecy fakeness, and denial, or her new life of everything her Mother could ever want as she starts to grow up and finds herself.



Wht do you think..? Pleaseee ?
PErsonally im never too keen on my plots but critisim or something whatver to improve?

Hannah
xxx
  





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32 Reviews



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Reviews: 32
Sun Sep 14, 2008 9:01 pm
Tusker93 says...



Sounds promising - I'd like to hear more :) Sorry I can't go into detail now got to go off I'll give a deeper comment sometime later though.
  





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Points: 1176
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Sun Sep 14, 2008 9:56 pm
thunder_dude7 says...



It does have potential. This could work.

The only real concern of mine is that Esme's brother could become a Gary-Stu if you aren't careful. It had been pulled off before, but it will be easy to mess up there. Be careful.
  








Life is like a bag of potatoes, it starts out rough, but can turn into something beautiful (and yummy).
— Ley