Young Writers Society

Okay, I know I haven't been her for a long time, but I have made a lot of progress in the past few months.

I came up with a sort of outline of the first 'book' of what will probably be a series of three. I also know how I want the series to end, and have a good idea of what will happen between the end of the first book, and the end of the series.

I have shifted the focus of the book from fighting Ember, to preventing the traveling between universes. When people travel between the universes, it messes things up and could result in tearing the multiverse apart and killing everybody.
Most people must use a special machine to travel between universes, but Aura and Ceron can do this the 'natural way' without harming the universes. They are still trying to prevent Ember from taking over, mainly because her antics are going to destroy everything, a fact that she refuses to believe. There are also three other main organizations, who all have their own agendas and ideas about how things should be done. All of these groups are trying to influence and/or enlist the help of Aura and Ceron.

There is of course, much more to it, although it is hard to write it all here. I have changed it a lot, and have, I think, brought the story further away from His Dark Materials. I have already started writing, and will hopefully be able to post some of my writing online soon. Unfortunately I have been getting a ridiculous amount of homework this year, and can usually only find time to write between classes.

Anyway, please tell me what you think of the changes I have made.

I think that this looks really good - the idea of them having to stop people traveling through universes, whilst traveling through universes themselves is a bit philosophical and v interesting. I would definitely read it.

I haven't read that series that everyone keeps referring to, so I can't comment re that, but I think that this is an awesome dvpment on what you posted earlier. Awesome work, have you started writing yet??

I really like it actually. Even though, yeah, it could come pretty cliched, as long as you avoid that then it'll all be good. I would read this, and please post it on here when you get some of it done. I like your new idea of trying to keep the two universes separate. That's a lot more fresh than your old idea.

In your story, try to avoid getting all scattered with the organizations and the fighting and such. It could get really confusing if you aren't careful. I like your new ideas, but also I want to know why Aura and Ceron are so special that all three organizations are trying to enlist them. And what are the details of the organizations?

Obviously I understand this was just a "sketch" but if you give us more details then we can review your idea better. Hope my two cents was worth it.