Young Writers Society

Right.

So my current piece is Lyla. And although it's going OK and is nearing the end (ish), I need some help.

Check here also for any future updates.

18/8/07

I need feedback on if the action in Part 10 was too rushed- like it was in Part 8. I seem to hurry arguments and I know that they are supposed to be fast paced but mine are just....too quick.

Also, Part 11 should be posted by mid September.

Finally thank you to:
JC, Meevs, Steve, Twit, KR and anyone else who has critiqued Lyla. All your help has definitely improved my work!

Any suggestions for the story? Feedback on my worry would be great!

Thanks,
Alainna
xxxxx

Woo i got mentioned.

Indeed the action part was a bit too rushed. slow it down. Maybe have teh mother actually sit down to start off with but tom not going home then the crazy ole bat loses it =]

PM me if you need any more help.

P.S i have given up on CFR. I wasnt really attached to it.

Hi!
I wrote about this in my critic to part 10 without realizing that maybe you wanted it here.... but essentially I don`t think that the fight in part 10 is too abrupt. I won`t repeat everything I said, becauseI kind of ranted a little bit and there would be a lot to repeat, but if you do not think that it is too quick then I really would not worry about it.
Also I would like to say that I am somewhat crushed to see that we are nearing the end with Lyla, and that to keep off the hords of angry people when you are really finished, you will have to supplement with something new ( or old, just something written by you) in order to keep us happy

Keep writting always
-Gen

25/8/07
Thanks Gen for catching up and your crits. And you Steve!

I was going to have Laura come into the scene and be drunk. But I thought it far too cliche. So instead I wanted her to come in guns blazing but not meaning any real harm. So when she does physically harm Lyla I wanted her to shock herself a bit. I realise now that I didn't portray this very well and that the argument is a good pace but is a little too abrupt.

Unfortunately, after posting part 10 I got severe writers block (story of my life) and was wallowing in self pity at how crap the holidays are this year. It took nearly a week for me to pull myself out of it and I've only written a little. This means that it will be the usual long wait before part 11 is posted.

Also any feedback on whether I should try putting in a flashback as I used to would be great. I liked doing flashbacks but I sort of haven't done one in ages and I think the story is fine without them. Any help?

Thanks again,
Alainna
xx

I really don't know if I can continue with reading Lyla. I'm really sorry, Alainna, but it was brilliantly written, and I did enjoy the parts I read. Keep going!

6/9/07

Should be posting part 11 sometime next week. Hopefully.

Once everything (the whole story) is typed out in full I'm going to start editing and expanding. It's not a proper novel- just a draft of sloppy ideas put together at the moment so I really need to pad it out and improve the 'big' scenes.

xxxxx

How long do you think it'll be? How much have you written of it?

3/10/07

Anyone who bothers to read part 11 after such the wait that I've caused will be forever in my heart.

Fingers crossed part 11 will be up by Saturday. It's not that great but I can't quit Lyla as it's become part of my life now.

Any tips or suggestions are always welcomed and look out for Lyla this week!!

Alainna
xxx

Yes, don't give up on it! ^_^ If there's any specific part you want help on, then I could give you another opinion.

We're all waiting for it! Please post it, it's one of my favourite stories on this site, I need more!

8/10/07

Well, Part 11 is posted, but I only have one review so far...(thanks Rosie)
Everyone who has been regularly critiquing seems to have disappeared and aren't giving me any crits....Is my writing really that bad?
Maybe I'm being impatient, I'll give it another day or so before I presume that everyone's bored of my work. *Sigh*

Ach, that was a pathetic rant. I do apologise.

Part 12 is under way and I PROMISE that I'll make time to post it as soon as possible.

Alainna
xxxxx

When's part 12 coming?

Should be within the next week (fingers crossed). I have a lot of coursework on at the moment so I'll try to start typing it up soon.

Thanks for all your reviews, Rosie!

xxx

28/10/07

Well, part 12 is posted.

Part 13 should be within the next two weeks and hopefully they'll be a flashback somewhere in there.

Alainna
xxxxx

Thats OK! Part 12 was great, now I'm going to bug you endlessly until you post chapter 13!