Young Writers Society

Are you overweight? Have you ever thought "I want to lose this excess body fat, but I don't want to be inconvenienced with not eating as much or moving". Well then you're like most long-term fat people: lazy. This proven method is 100% guaranteed to work, and all you have to do is familiarize yourself with one word: effort.

Introducing the not-new-at-all weightloss method, the Stop Deluding Yourself And Actually Try system! This breakthrough ancient diet has been proven in clinical studies to be the *only* weightloss method that actually works! The Stop Deluding Yourself And Actually Try method is based on two steps:

1. Stop deluding yourself: This step involves realizing that fad diets, pills, 5-minute-a-day exercise routines and magic weightloss powders that you sprinkle on your food are bulls***, and you are a tool for even considering trying them. Once you've completed step 1, you can move on to:

2. Actually try. This step involves a) not being lazy, and b) not guiltily stuffing your gourd and promising yourself you'll eat less next time. That's right, just exercise and eat less f***in food! It's *proven* to work! Just listen to these testimonials:

"I had tried everything to lose my excess weight. Well, everything except actually trying. Then I found out about the Stop Deluding Yourself And Actually Try system, and after 6 months on the program, I went from 240 pounds to 160 pounds! Like the program said, all it took was effort!"

- Jay from New Hampshire

"I spent thousands of dollars on pre-packed weight loss meals and pills, and nothing worked. Then I read about the Stop Deluding Yourself And Actually Try method. It taught me that my body isn't a game of Tetris: I can't keep adding and adding until the blocks magically disappear. I've spent 3 months on the system and dropped 4 dress sizes! It really works!"

- Tabitha from Michigan

You too can experience this fundamental and obvious weight loss method for 3 easy payments of - just kidding, eating less actually *saves* you money, and exercising is free! Join the weight loss revolution today!

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this post is inspired by my grandmother, who has spent literally thousands of dollars on exercise machines that she used once then gave away and diet books that she tried for a month before deciding it was too hard

This is hilarious, I always saw those ridiculous ads on tv, and smelled poopoo. The products that are supposed to make exercise a magical fat melter seemed overpriced and ridiculous. An example was a waist belt that vibrated to "heat?" the fat away. Funny article, I like your voice.

Ever heard of the maple syrup diet?
Utter Bull****

My solution is simple. Yeah, other than stop deluding myself and actually trying, I went on to exchange my regular lunch for a minimal fruit dessert... usually just one apple, and if I still feel hungry, another at tea time. Then of course, long distance jogging and static exercises once every two days.

Works for me, as after a few months of that, I dropped about 6-7kg.

This is nonsense. I lost 30 pounds by trying even less than I was before.

I stopped eating every other day.

Simple, healthy, home-cooked meals are also A LOT less expensive than trans-fatty takeout or fast food every day. Also keep that in mind. (Buying coffee and drinks in bulk are also helpful to your wallet.)

Here's a good beginner's no-equipment exercise routine that you can use if you want to lose weight and build a baseline muscular endurance.

Monday: Chest-Triceps Motions

*If you can do more than 10 push-ups at a time: 3-4 sets of push-ups to failure
*If you cannot: Try doing micro-sets (2-5 reps) as many times as possible.
*Feeling confident? Try doing them with your feet elevated (harder than standard, targets upper chest - roughly equivalent to an incline bench press)
*Feeling less than confident? Try doing them with your hands elevated (easier than standard, targets lower chest)
*If all else fails, do negatives: Get into a push-up position using your knees, then extend the knees and bend down into the first half of the push-up as slow as possible. Then repeat.


*Go for a jog to loosen up. Try for 1-3 miles, but don't push yourself too hard to avoid injury (if you are experienced with running, feel free to do more, it's all up to your discretion).
Tuesday: Shoulders

*Find a patch of grass or a rug and try to do a handstand. If doesn't matter if you can't get it now, just keep trying to stay stable for as long as possible.
*With help from a friend, try doing the handstand while leaning partially on a wall, and keep yourself up as long as possible.

*Find a door frame and do static lateral arm-raises (stand in the doorway and, palms in, push your hands against either side of the door frame and try to raise your arms with a good force) for a certain amount of time (30 seconds-2 minutes). If done correctly, when you release the door frame, your arms should begin to float into the air on their own - dats muscle memory.

*To target front and back shoulders, find a wall
*Front shoulders: Face the wall, and push the backs of your downward facing hands onto the wall at about waist height. Move your feet back now and support yourself using your hands. Now try to straighten out your core as best as possible and hold such as the above method.
*Back shoulders: Same thing as front, but this time, your back faces the wall. Put your palms on the wall behind you, push and support, and straighten that core and hold.

Wednesday: Back-Triceps Motions

***These are the hardest excercises on this list to perform, but are essential if you want to keep a good posture. Too often, people who work out spend all their time doing push-ups and bench press, building their chest and front shoulders, then have an imbalance in their back and back shoulders, which ruins posture (I suffered from this error from when I was an exercise newbie). Also, home workout people tend not to do them because you need to something to pull, whether it be a stationary bar for body-weight, or a free weight.

*Rows: (center back, biceps) Find a sturdy and heavy table that will support your weight. Slide under it and lie on your back, legs bent, your shoulders at the edge and facing longways through the table. Grab the edge of the table so it won't tip, palm towards it. Now pull yourself up as high as you can, then lower.
*This exercise has many names, but the best one to picture what you are doing is a "reverse push-up." as you can see, these are harder than push-ups, typically, and you may have to use your thighs to help you get up to the edge.
*You can do negatives if these are too hard swing down a bit from your knees from the top.
****Keep your back straight, chest out, shoulders back for best results. Don't use your arms alone.
*If you have something heavy, an alternative is to bend over, keeping your back straight, and pulling the object up to your chest and down past your knees again over and over.

*Pullups: (Outer back, biceps, shoulders) These are undoubtedly the hardest exercise on here. Fit people usually cannot even do more than 10 pull-ups, and for good reason: They use the latissimus dorsi (big back), which are horribly unused in most exercises. These speak for themselves, though. You pull yourself up to a bar (palms facing out is harder. Palms in is called a chin-up and mostly utilizes your biceps) and lower yourself down.
*You are probably going to need some help here. Negatives are the best, which means jumping up so your chin is over the bar, then lowering yourself as slow as possible.
*You can also use an exercise band if you have one to support your knees going up and down. If not, try to have a table or surface next to the bar or ledge you are using for the pull-up to put one bent leg on and help support you. Switch the legs occasionally.

*Try to go for another jog after all this.

Thursday: Abs and Lower Back

*Most people nowadays say that crunches and sit-ups are bad for your hip flexors or something, so I won't recommend those.

*Mountain climbers: Get into a push-up position, arms straight or slightly bent, then jam one knee forward to your chest and touch the ground with that toe. Then, jump your other foot up there after you brought the first leg back. Remember to engage your abs all the while. Go as fast as possible (these are tough) for 30 seconds 3 times. If you absolutely need to rest during that, do it.

*Heel touches: Get down on your back in a crunch position, knees bent, and bend your body sideways till you can touch your fingers to your heel on one side. Then bend back and touch the other heel with the other hand. Repeat as many times as possible up to 50. Then stop and rest. Try to do this 2-3 times. It's trickier than it seems at first.

*Lower back extension holds: Lie on your stomach (guys you may want to put your hands in between the ground and your hips to stop all your weight pressing on the goods) and raise your chest and legs off of the ground as high as you can and hold for as long as you can. Make sure you are feeling it in the lower back. Try this 4-5 times.

Friday: Legs

*Squats: Put both your feet at about shoulder width, facing forward. Have good thoracic extension (keep shoulders back, chest up the whole time). Now, keeping balance, bend your knees, but not your back, and lower your body down till you really feel it, preferably till the knees are a 90 degree angle. Then push back up. Try doing 4 sets of as many as you can. (Don't get injured)
*If you cannot do standard squats, put your back straight against a wall and do wall sits, a static exercise.
*Feeling confident with the wall sits, but not the squats? Get into the wall sit position and do squats while pressing your back against the wall, which will provide support for you. Same sets and reps.
*Negatives are still an option.

*Burpees: These seem easy for the first few you do, but once the reps start escalating, you will feel the burn (mostly cardio, believe it or not). Perform the first half of a squat, but this time, put your hands on the ground. Kick back your feet so you are in a push-up position (optional: perform a push-up in this position to make it a real burpee), then kick your feet back in and explode up into a jump as high as you can. That's one rep. Do as many as you can for 30 seconds, 2-3 times.

*Try to go for a short jog right after this. Don't go fast unless you are confident. Distances may vary.

Saturday: Active Rest
*If you can find a pool to swim in, do that, or bike for a bit. If you cannot, try to go for a light jog or walk. Hikes are good if you live close to woods or trails or parks.

Sunday: Rest



I hope you try this. It covers all the main muscle groups, I believe, and it took me a long time to type it all out. These are the exercises I started with (not in this nice daily routine, obviously, since I was clueless about all this at the time). If you aren't feeling it, you are not doing it with good form, or you are already past the beginning stage of exercise.