Young Writers Society

I didn't write this, but I thought that it was so funny that I'd share it with you:


Snake Killing in Area of Operations:

Airborne: Come down in the AO, land smack on top of the snake and kill it. Then, They find out that this is the wrong AO and the wrong snake.

Armor: They come in, run over the snake and kill it. Then, They go looking for more snakes to kill, and run out of gas.

Army Aviation: Come in, using a GPS grid to plot the snake's position to within one centimeter. They can’t find the snake and come back to base for a cold one.

Army Rangers: Play with the snake, then eat it.

Field Artillery: Masses ten thousand mobile Artillery units, launches an all out barrage with RAF air support. They kill the snake and several hundred civilians. The mission is declared a success and all participants, including the mechanics, clerks, and cooks are awarded a medal.

Combat engineers: They come in and study the snake. They prepare an in-depth, five series field manual on employing counters to kill the snake. Then, they complain that the other military forces don’t understand how to
properly conduct countersnake operations by the book.

Navy SEALs: They swim in at night, march fifty kilometers inland, take up an uncomfortable position which they hold for twenty-four hours just to keep
from falling asleep, ambush the snake, expends all of their ammunition,
including three cases of grenades, and call in naval gun fire. They miss the
snake, whereupon, the snake bites one of the seals and dies of lead
poisoning.

Air force: he flies in, misidentifies the snake as a new enemy weapon, and engages with missiles. He can’t tell whether he hit the snake or not, but he goes back to base for a cold one, while the crew chief paints a cool-looking snake silhouette on his airplane.

Marine Recon: they follow the snake and get lost.

Army Special Forces. This guy goes out alone and makes contact with the snake. He talks to the snake in snake language. He builds a rapport with it and teaches it to kill other snakes.

Military intelligence: They locate the snake using a spy satellite. They study the snake, scale by scale and watch its movements. They draw up an extensive report on snakes, snake scales, snake lice, and snake movements, and send it to the Joint Chiefs, the CIA, and the National Security advisor. Meanwhile, the snake disappears and no one can find it again.

Amusing, though rather cynically morbid as well, Reas. ^_^''

Then, They find out that this is the wrong AO and the wrong snake.

Brief hiccup in capitalisation - then, they. Only 'then' needs to be capital - you do it a few times.

Other than that...oy. Funny and bleak.

Marine Recon: they follow the snake and get lost.

^_^ IMP

I didn't write this, but I thought that it was so funny that I'd share it with you:

I'm pretty sure the Other section is for things people have written themselves that don't fit in to the rest of the catagories. This looks like it belongs in the lounge.

It made me laugh a bit, though.

*Moved to The Lounge using Matt's Modly Powers (MMP)*

why the lounge?

Because you didn't write it yourself, as Jennafina said.

ah...

Funny as all hell, Reas. HOORAH!

I want to add my own:
Israeli paratroopers: They arrive at night by APC march 15 km, and take up positions in the surrounding landscape: trees, shrubs, rooftops, etc. They stake out the snake and its followers for a 20 day seige, slowly loosing members of their unit to appease the international community shouting "ISRAEL KILLS BABY SNAKES!". After 20 days, they send in a platoon to storm the snake hiding place, use massive force and eliminate every living thing inside. The snake dies to sniper fire.

Dan. that one was good. I might add it in