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Tue Oct 25, 2011 7:04 pm
NURSE: Doctor, doctor! The invisible man's here to see you!
DOCTOR: Well tell him I can't see him right now.
The Nation of Ulysses Must Prevail!
If you don't like Mikko, you better friggin' die.
The power of Robert Smith compels you!
Adam + Lisa ♥
When you greet a stranger look at his shoes.
Keep your money in your shoes.
Sun Oct 30, 2011 11:07 pm
I don't know if this counts as a joke, but I found it funny.
These are actual student answers.
What is the lowest frequency a human can register?
What is the highest frequency a human can register?
'Let's eat Grandma!' or, 'Let's eat, Grandma!' Punctuation saves lives.
You know you want one.
Mon Oct 31, 2011 3:52 am
Did you hear about that camping movie?
I heard it was intentsss!
By nature, all language is flawed.
"Peace cannot be kept by force, it can only be achieved by understanding," - Albert Einstein
Wed Nov 02, 2011 2:51 pm
Why did piglet look in the toilet?
He was looking for Pooh.
Sat Dec 17, 2011 9:54 am
I've got one!
Teacher: Can you see God?
Teacher: Can you feel God?
Teacher: Then there isn't a God!
-Student raises his hand.-
Student: Sir, can you see your brain?
Student: Can you feel your brain?
Student: Oh, so you don't have a brain?
I'd rather waltz than just walk through the forest.
The trees keep the tempo and they sway in time.
Quartet of crickets chime in for the chorus.
If I were to pluck on your heart strings would you strum on mine?
~Plant Life, Owl City
Sat Dec 17, 2011 10:08 am
A man checks out of a hotel and sees Banta walking along the sidewalk.
Man - Hey buddy, could you please call me a taxi? I'm getting late for my appointment!
Banta - Sure. Sir, you are a taxi.
Last edited by
on Fri Mar 02, 2012 10:08 am, edited 1 time in total.
It's not about the weight of what's spoken.
It's about being heard.
Sat Dec 17, 2011 1:31 pm
My Physics teacher back in school : demonstrates a slinky to show spring action and compressions and rarefactions. She starts playing with it like a kid, then look up and asks us : "Do you waaaaant this slinky?"
All of us : Yes ma'aaam, in hopes that she gives it to us to play with.
Her : Go buy eeet!
Pretending in words was too tentative, too vulnerable, too embarrassing to let anyone know.
- Ian McEwan in Atonement
sachi: influencing others since GOD KNOWS WHEN.
Sun Dec 18, 2011 9:44 pm
You want a joke? Blu team.
(*Shotdead for TF2 reference.)
"Even in the end --even in death-- I can't hate you."
- Neri Hereford's last words.
"The Gods demand blood, for they... do not bleed."
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