Young Writers Society

I just want to preface this with the fact that I have never published a poem on YWS in. My. Life.



I have chosen the emotion of fear. Swamps and forests and mountains can often look so pretty that we forget how easily they could kill us. I have written this about a protagonist who is very much aware of the danger.

Yet... it's not a bad effort is it?
I will mark it formally tomorrow.

Thank you

A noise pierces through the grey abyss above,
Fear ripe on my face and in my eyes as we trudge along.
The tension is palpable; I feel only mud.
It is as if a million horses have trampled on my heart.
All kinds of ghost flowers, piercing red eyes galore, tremble in the shallow breeze.
If this is to be my new home I will allow it to be the money pit of my time.
It’s so warm, too warm, as the heat marches in armies,
Emergency protocol to keep me here.
Trapped in toughest sludge, I binge and purge the stomach of love.

I have put the emotion of "despair" in this work. I have chosen it because in a hopeless situation, i.e. stuck in the mud, it's very easy to give up and accept your fate. I have used the swamp as a metaphor for being surrounded by circumstance.

I wrote a poem more or less a month ago, entitled Nausea. I am not entirely satisfied with the work I find it a bit too long and unfocused. I was wondering if next assignment was centered on improving it.

Here it is: Nausea

Absolutely. Perfect task. The next lesson and assignment will be focused on this.
Thanks (hun);)

Renard...I'm having trouble. I mean I wrote this poem so I'm not sure how to make it better. I'm trying to add anger to my poem....but it's kind of difficult. Do you think you could help me out? Thank you

Sure. If you've written stuff already, sent it to me and I will give you my comments on it. If we could arrange to be on YWS at the same time, I can through it with you in chat or your preferred communication method.
@Thewriter13

Okay I'll send it when I've got time. Maybe an hour or so as I am busy right now. But thank you very much

ASSIGNMENT 2 IS DUE TODAY!

@BiscuitsBatchAvoy - I have received yours and it's been marked
@MasterGrieves - I have received yours and it's been marked
@Thewriter13 - We've spoken about your assignment, so I'll mark it whenever
@xfabulisaa - Ironically, you were the first person to sign up and the only student who hasn't done anything yet. I'm wondering where you've gone? XD
@1morestupidlovesong - I have yet to receive a second assignment from you.

Got a new student here!

I was wondering if you had any suggestions on how to turn ideas or concepts into poetry. The problem I have is that I have a clear idea for a poem but not sure how to exactly turn the idea into a poem.

Thanks

@Renard
I'm sorry I haven't finished it yet
but you WILL get it, I promise you! I'm just having some writer's block here

Finding Purpose
Although at first glance, the title of this lesson seems very philosophical, this time we are focussing on how to create a piece of writing that conveys your meaning clearly. An issue addressed by @MasterGrieves with his poem “Nausea.”

I am not entirely satisfied with the work I find it a bit too long and unfocused.

I tried to sleep
Could only watch
I tried to sleep tight
Could only watch
Tried to dream
Could only watch
I tried to have sweet dreams
Could only watch
The clock botch
And within these walls
Perception flourishes
Like a thousand flowers bloom
Complete with thorns, ribbons,
Raven dust
Lust
All in my sleep
A sleep halted
A stalemate in my subconscious
It makes me feel cornered
Pushed up against my ability to speak
Now I am not only deaf, dumb, and stupid
But also mute
The transformation is complete

First of all, we need a brief analysis of the poem. And we can do this by asking questions, such as:
1. What is the work about? eg, what meaning do we get from it. Now, if we can’t pin that down, it means it’s unfocussed.
2. Does it make sense? (however, if it is an abstract poem, then it might not necessarily have to.)
3. Are all the lines present adding something to the work? i.e could we get rid of some parts of the poem but retain the meaning?
Assignment 3
Therefore, this week’s task is to annotate each line of the poem “Nausea” to garner what meaning it gives you.
For example:

Like a thousand flowers bloom

– simile, connotations of beauty etc.
After you have annotated each line of the poem, look at the meaning you have overall and re-write the poem in your own words based on the annotations for each line. This is a very hard task because it requires a lot of out-of-the-box-thinking. The best way to do it is to go with your first instinct.
NB: The most important thing here are the annotations. It is MORE IMPORTANT for you to understand the structure of the poem than being able to re-write it. Structure gives you focus. Feel free to eliminate lines completely if you feel they are unnecessary.

The opening date of the assignment is today: Saturday 28th June 2014
The closing/due date for this assignment is: Wednesday 3rd July 2014

When you've completed the assignment either post it here in the thread... or you can send me a PM with the completed work.

If you need help during the process of this task then don't hesitate to contact me via the thread, PM, chat or any other form of communication; and I will do my best to help you.

Good luck.
~ R
Fellow Wordsmith

@xfabulisaa – now waiting for Assignment 1 and 2
@1morestupidlovesong – pending Assignment 2
@Thewriter13
@BiscuitsBatchAvoy
@MasterGrieves
@ChipsMcCoy – welcome to our class

*faints at the sight of the assignment*
Oh dear XD

You'll do just fine.