Young Writers Society

Hahaha... I had to have it all caps, you see? I have a fetish with the capslock key!

So.. I was writing FREAK, and it's very um... sappy. What happens is Sadie's father hugs Daniel. I was thinking about using the word "bearish" but after asking around nobody really liked it.

*sobs*

So... yeah! Do you like bearish in the example or not? And, if you DON'T like it, then suggestions, please?

“I suppose this is my last goodbye to you then?”

“Yes.”

“Goodbye then.” He extended his arm for a handshake, but Sadie’s father gave him a big bearish hug instead.

*twitch*

*similarly... flinches*

Argh, I don't like 'bearish'.

Lol, you could always change 'gave him a big bearish hug instead' to something nice and simple and easy to follow like 'embraced him instead'...

*twitches* Big bearish? I could settle for bearish without the "big" but unless you're looking for a laugh don't put those two words together, please.

And honestly... I'd take the "ish" off and just say that they had a bear hug.

Perhaps if you made it...'crushed him like a bear in an embrace'?

But that sounds just as terribly awkward as well. 0.o

I think simple and less adjectival would work best - as DD points out. It may be less ostentatiously sappy if you leave it plain.

Is the bear-image something particularly pertinent?

Hehehe... oh dear.

Maybe great instead of big? I don't know... I like assonance, but I have a weird sense of words and often prefer the silly over the sane. ><

How bout just bear hug?

Bear hug: 3, Bearish: 0.

Obviously, we're the winning team.

I'm such an opinionated person, but you probably figured that out already. I can't tell you enough how much I despise the word, 'hug.' I think the word itself is childish, and well, I don't always show it online but in my stories readers usually see my vocabulary. Of course, if a child is telling the story, I'm forced to dull it down, which irritates me!

If FREAK is a childrens (which I highly doubt) or geared to young readers, then possibly hug might suffice but other than that, I'd go for embrace. Although... heh, does the Freak actually have a vocab?

Anyway, I'm going off track. As for,

father gave him a big bearish hug instead.

It would depend on Sadie's father's character. Where the sentence stands, it's an almost awkward but goofy moment. Personally, if that's what you're trying to achieve, then you've succeeded, and I'm satisfied.

However though, if you're trying to achieve sentiment or make the reader go, "Ahhh... that's so cute!" Then you will have to change a few things in the sentence to finalize that goal. To accomplish the 'Cute or Sap' factor, nix 'big' and 'bearish.' Something along the lines of,

Sadie's father embraced him tenderaly instead.

Or

Sadie's father retaliated by embracing him tightly instead.

Or

Sadie's father retorted by pulling him into his arms, and embraced him.

Well, there's some really mediocre examples I thought of quickly but use what works for you, and if you are deadset on using 'hug,' 'big' and 'bearish' in the same sentence, it doesn't bother me personally. Like I mentioned, it gives the father this sort of awkward and goofy trait to him, which is cool. There's a different side.

I don't know... I see hug as being appropriate because Sadie's father is, in a bizarre way, acting paternal with Daniel. Which is frankly disturbing, now that I think of it, but still. And embrace seems way too... well... adult for my taste.

Bear hug then? *sighs*

I'll see what I can do...

Did I give you a headache?

Hahaha... no. My calculus quiz gave me the headache. You only added to it.

That's my job; to challenge the Pink One.

You may poke me with a pole later.

smaur wrote:Bear hug: 3, Bearish: 0.

Obviously, we're the winning team.

Go us! *cheers*

I don't know... I see hug as being appropriate because Sadie's father is, in a bizarre way, acting paternal with Daniel. Which is frankly disturbing, now that I think of it, but still. And embrace seems way too... well... adult for my taste.

Bear hug then? *sighs*

I'll see what I can do...

It looks like we won!

Hahaha... you haven't win yet! I'm going to change it into a mud wrestling match! *cackles*