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How to make reviewers hate you...

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Do you think this is good?

Yes.
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79%
No.
27
21%
 
Total votes : 126


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Fri Nov 11, 2005 8:21 am
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Snoink says...



Do you want to really get harsh critiques that are positively insulting? Do you want to make writing forums curse and swear at you? Do you want to get the mods warn you? Then read this! These tips are absolutely proven to make you be the most hated member in YWS.

Now! In no particular order...

1. READ THIS PLEASE!

An oldie, but a goodie. Instead of putting a title on your piece of work, put "READ THIS PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The more exclamation marks, the better.

2. Post a lot, but refuse to critique anything.

This is a particularly useful way to get you to be extremely hated. The more posts, the merrier! Try to post at least three stories a day if you write stories. If you write poetry, then post seven poems per day. While this is going on, refuse to critique anything. Or! Even better, if you do critique something, it should be a generic response such as: "This was great." Or, even better, "This was great. Read my story ________________."

3. Put a poll on your work!

The poll should read, "Do you think this is good?" and only have two answers available. And, if someone votes no, you should make a hissy fit and claim that said member is trying to insult you.

4. If someone gives you a critique, trash it.

Tell that critiquer that you are smarter, thus any critique they make is useless. If they tell you that your grammar is horrible, tell them where to shove it up. If they persist, flame them. Tell other people how horrible they are. They deserve it. This is especially useful for anyone who is younger than you.

5. Find the critiquers.

Latch onto a particular critic. Then, for every story you write, inform the critic that you have just written a new story and, as such, you need a new review. Remember to post a lot of stories and poems so that you are PMing that critic at least three times per week.

6. Do the same mistakes over and over again.

Never edit any of your work, and persist on doing the same mistakes over and over. Then mass PM critics, asking why they never critique your work anymore.

7. Forget to use grammar...

Then, when someone comments on it, complain to them that they're trying to take away your artistic edge.



Hope to see you around the forums...
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D




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Fri Nov 11, 2005 9:26 am
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Sureal says...



that wAs great advice;
reed my story!!!!!


(sorry, I just couldn't help myself ;))
I wrote the above just for you.




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Tue Nov 15, 2005 5:31 am
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Griffinkeeper says...



God, I kind of want to make this a sticky.

Nah, I'll just link it to writers in need.
<YWS><R1><Founders>




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Tue Nov 15, 2005 6:34 am
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Incandescence says...



Bad news is better than no news?




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Tue Nov 15, 2005 6:37 am
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Snoink says...



With news, that may be the case, but stories would hardly be considered news since generally, stories are repeated over and over again. :P
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D




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Wed Nov 16, 2005 2:35 am
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Areida says...



*bows down* This should have been put up a long time ago...
Got YWS?

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Wed Nov 16, 2005 3:17 am
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Galatea says...



This is AMAZING.
Sing lustily and with a good courage. Beware of singing as if you were half dead, or half asleep; but lift up your voice with strength.




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Wed Nov 16, 2005 3:27 am
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Sponson Light says...



What if you already are one of the most hated people on YWS?
You shouldn't judge a book by it's cover, instead, you should read every single book to see what every book is about before you even come close to judging its viability.




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Wed Nov 16, 2005 5:06 am
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Duskglimmer says...



*smiles* oh yes! love it!

Especially number 7 *giggles to self as she walks off*
The robbed that smiles, steals something from the thief. ~William Shakespeare, Othello
Boo. SPEW is watching.




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Wed Nov 16, 2005 5:50 am
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Snoink says...



Sponson Light wrote:What if you already are one of the most hated people on YWS?


Then... more ammo for you! :D
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D




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Sat Dec 10, 2005 11:44 pm
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Skye says...



Snoink, you're my hero! ^.^
"A poet in love is best encouraged in both capacities or neither." ~ Jane Austen, Emma.




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Sat Dec 10, 2005 11:53 pm
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Meshugenah says...



Snoinky m'dear, I love this. Number seven.. *snicker* the new rule number nine.
***Under the Responsibility of S.P.E.W.***
(Sadistic Perplexion of Everyone's Wits)

Medieval Lit! Come here to find out who Chaucer plagiarized and translated - and why and how it worked in the late 1300s.

I <3 Rydia




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Sun Dec 11, 2005 1:12 am
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zelithon says...



YAY More ammo for me!
Muhahahahahahahahahahahha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HA. HAHAHAHAHAHHA. hehehehehhehehehehhe. Giggle giggle. Muhahahahahhahahhahahahhahahahhahahhahahahhahahhahahahhahahahhahamuhahahahhahahhahahahhahahah
hahahahhahahhahahahhahahhahahahhahahahahhahahhahahha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Also I don't think people older than me want a really harsh critque from a child. Muhahahahahahahahahahahha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :evil: :evil: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :evil: :evil: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :evil: :evil: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :evil: :evil: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :evil: :evil: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :evil: :evil: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :evil: :evil: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :evil: :evil: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Could you read MY storys now? Do the search engine: Zelithon




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Sun Dec 11, 2005 2:31 am
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Snoink says...



OMG! WHO VOTED NO??????????

*stabs randomly*
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D




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Mon Dec 12, 2005 11:05 pm
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Griffinkeeper says...



8. Switch gender roles with all of your characters. Everything feminine should become masculine and vice versa. Bob is a good name for a lady anyway.

9. Japanese names are for everyone, not simply people in Japan. Use them for everyone, even if your characters are in the middle ages.

10. Don't discribe anything. If they don't understand you, it is because they are too stupid.

11. In opposition to describing nothing, describe everything. After all, your readers need to know about every speck of dust that your character has ever had on his/her clothing for the past 8 months, because they are too stupid.
<YWS><R1><Founders>