Young Writers Society

Home » Forums » Resources » Writing Tips

Sorry me again, writers block (ish) related question..

Post a reply
User avatar
28 Reviews


Gender: Female
Points: 6213
Reviews: 28
Mon Jan 04, 2010 7:38 pm
thegirlandthepen says...



Sorry if you keep seeing these twice, I forget about the message boards, blog about it, then remember and post it here as well, I'll delete them eventually, I'm a little slow at times, ha.

Just wondering.. Does anyone struggle sometimes during writing whether its first or third person, driving things forward without it becoming too repetitive, too boring and too linear? I usually write in first person view, and then I have this problem where the writing becomes really boring. See example below:

"Bob looked over his shoulder, he turned around and walked to the window. Checking outside, he then walked back to his kitchen. Then he done this blah blah, then he done that blah blah bleeeugghhh."

I kind of feel that, when I'm using first person narrative, usually its 70% the characters thoughts inside their head, 10% their actions and 20% dialogue. I love dialogue, I really struggle with the action part, it seems so boring. This may have something to do with the fact that I write scripts on the side, and of course while writing stage directions, you have to be pretty repetitive and clear about what the characters are doing, so I guess I find it hard to seperate from the two. I seem to think its necessary to give the readers a running commentary of my characters actions, I feel that if they're talking to someone one minute, then putting their seatbelt on next, people may feel confused.

Does anyone experience anything similar? And if so, do you have any techniques to combat this? If so, I would really, really appreciate hearing from you. If you do experience this and are as helpess as me, stick with me! We'll solve it together.

Thank-you in advance :D
Last edited by Blink on Mon Jan 04, 2010 7:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Removed coloured text.
"If you want to be a writer, you must do two things above all others: read a lot and write a lot. There's no way around these two things that I'm aware of, no shortcut." - Stephen King.

EDDiE. :]

Want an honest review?
topic67916.html




Random avatar

Gender: Female
Points: 12660
Reviews: 110
Mon Jan 04, 2010 8:17 pm
Karsten says...



This is a common problem with, I think, some easy fixes.

1. Skip minor actions unless they're important. Your example takes four separate actions (looked over shoulder, turned around, walked to window, checked outside) to say that Bob looks out of the window. Frankly, I don't think that even once action is necessary here. The focus of the paragraph is what Bob sees outside the window, right? So you could just cut straight to that: "A horrifying Lovecraftian monster pounded its tentacles against his window!" Or whatever is out there.

2. Sentences that have the protagonist's name (Bob) or pronoun (he) as the subject can sound very repetitive. Your clauses are all "Bob did this" or "he did that". Try rephrasing to break up sentence structure.

3. Add thoughts, observations, perceptions etc to break up the action.

Does that help? :)




User avatar
28 Reviews


Gender: Female
Points: 6213
Reviews: 28
Mon Jan 04, 2010 9:37 pm
thegirlandthepen says...



Yess :) immensely, thank you. This is something I want to get as much advice on as possible as it is one of the main things which stops me from writing. I also try and rush ahead, if I know of an exciting upcoming event I get bored in the build up and jump straight to it.

Just realised I completely contradicted myself 'I write in first person view blah blah blah' then my little quick example was not first person view haha, sorry. But you got it anyway, so thank you so much :) Just so you know, it wasn't an actual extract, just a very BAD example. :D
"If you want to be a writer, you must do two things above all others: read a lot and write a lot. There's no way around these two things that I'm aware of, no shortcut." - Stephen King.

EDDiE. :]

Want an honest review?
topic67916.html




User avatar
124 Reviews


Gender: Male
Points: 17091
Reviews: 124
Thu Jan 07, 2010 12:44 am
Day says...



Firstly I would like to note that the example you gave is third person not first. Next if your trying to work on a book/story/novel then maybe try not to write any scripts if you have a large separation problem. Not wanting to give up scripts? then maybe choose between them or keep going at it until you can develop a balance.
"If the king doesn't lead, how can he expect his subordinates to follow?"




User avatar
39 Reviews


Gender: Female
Points: 6097
Reviews: 39
Sun Jan 24, 2010 10:15 am
sugarxsnow says...



What I do, I make drafts first. Like, totally ROUGH drafts. Whatever comes to mind. Free-writing. And then, when you've gathered enough inspiration, you polish your novel/chapter/short story/whatever. That works for poems, too. List down all the imagery you can think of about something certain (although me, I don't limit myself to just one thing. I'm spontaneous. Makes my life so darn fun.) and then put them together, cross out those which you don't really like, and voila. Also, I add lotsa twists so it won't be plain dull. It might bore the reader to death if not, you know... be inventive. Be creative. No dull windowpanes for me. Be impulsive from time to time and see how it goes. You'll be surprised with the result, just as the readers get surprised by what you just threw in. Puts them at the edge of their seats. Try it. Then you'll understand. :D

It usually depends on my mood whether I use first or third person, but I really don't care, as long as I get my point across. If I feel like it, I shift from first to third. I don't care what people think about that.


Hey, I'm the writer here. I call the shots, no?

So I think you should do whatever you feel like doing. It will make things easier for you and not jam the flow of your creative juices. Also, here on YWS, we'll be able to help you. Just post and we'll review. We'll make that novel a kick-a$$ novel. :lol:


I hope that helped!

PM me if you need anything else, mmkay? I'm Kate by the way. Have a nice day!
"A fish bit my hand this morning, and everything became trippy. Now with this coke and this cherry, I can beautifully rule the world!"

-Dino, @ Dino and Cake's Adventures in La-La Land (Coming Soon)

PS: "Alice in Wonderland" obsessed? You bet.