Young Writers Society

(Please feel free to delete if this is inappropriate, because I know there are some younger kids on YWS. I'm just curious about the whole subject.)

So, I've never written a sex scene and I'm kind of nervous about it. I once wrote a rape scene, but it's a bit different than that. In my story, there's a part coming up soon and I'm not going to go into graphic detail about anything, because that sort of, I don't know, feels kind of pornographic to me, but I was wondering if you guys had any advice?

Hee hee ^_^


Here are some other pages around the site that have info on this topic:

Sex Scenes
How to avoid sex scenes by Snoink
Too Darn Hot by Caligula's Launderette

I would suggest don't use freaky euphemisms. Almost all of the sex scenes I wrote for this novel were fade outs, so keep that in mind too!

I think the foreplay is actually more interesting than the sex scene. I mean, sex is great, but the lovely thing about imaginations is that sometimes we can imagine a sex scene better than can be written. Sad, but true. So what I usually like to do is lead up to it with foreplay and the like and then, just before the actual penetration and stuff, just leave it off and allow the readers to imagine it.

I'd agree with Snoink. Sex is a universal human experience--pretty much everyone over the age of nine knows how it turns out. You're probably best writing "lead up" scenes, because those could go any number of ways.

Things to remember:

- It's not pornographic if you don't glorify it. Leave out the heaving bodies and bring in the sweat and the nasty. Writing really unsexy sex scenes is quite fun, actually. It's kind of a hobby.

- Make sure you know how your characters react to romance. One of my male characters starts talking about inane things; one of my female characters shuts up entirely. It all depends on their personalities.

- Have someone else read it, preferably someone who knows more about it than you. This can be kind of embarassing, but if you're not an expert (read: a virgin), the results can be unintentionally hysterical.

Sometimes, what not to do is just as helpful. Draw your own conclusions, but all I see is that actually describing the scene... gets you in trouble.

Literary Review's Bad Sex in Fiction Award

Although I don't like sex scenes in books (or movies, really) and I think the fade-out scene works best, James Patterson writes sex scenes well without becoming pornographic. Like in "The Lake House," with Max and Ozymandias. That was well done without going into graphic details.

Just a hint.

Yeah, I've read the Lake House. Beautiful book, by the way. I need to read it again.

Well, I wrote it. It was a lot easier than I thought, but thanks a lot for the advice!

Really it could depend on the type of story...
In GRRM's series (if you check, I seem to reference this guy everywhere) A Song of Ice and Fire, he goes into all the details, I mean ALL THE DETAILS. It's almost funny. But that series really shows the hidden, darker side of the human race. It's a cynical series, and he makes it stark like the rest of the series. For some people in it, there is absolutely nothing enjoyable about it.

If you want to make it more publicly accessible, make sure it has a 14A rating or under.....
So, probably leave it out, just do the moments before, end the chapter, then the next chapter has them "waking up in the morning"

Or....you could just describe the emotions the character would be feeling......
if this is a Romantic relationship.....(I have no idea what the background is), Emotions are important for everything in it....So you could just try to describe ther mental state through the whole experience........

This topic is a little old, but I feel like it's worth adding too. Nothing ruins a good story like a bad sex scene.

So, I did a little Google-ing and found this. (Keep in mind that this is a discussion of writing sex scenes; don't click if you are underage/easily offended.) The advise in it is pretty good, and written in a fairly humorous and non-intimidating way. (Having never written a sex scene, either, I can't imagine that it's easy to pull off.)

One thing I think is important to keep in mind is whether your writing pr0n (which I'll define as something that exists only for arousal and has no other real plot or purpose) or erotica (which I'll say, for the purposes of this discussion, serves a purpose within the story other than being hot). The intent/meaning (or lack thereof) should play an important part in how it's written.

I find sex scenes fun to write, because I like to make them very awkward. I like to have people tripping over their pants or falling off beds. It's easier for me to throw some humor in there and make it more realistic.

Sex scenes don't always have to be completely romantic and perfect. I find them far more fun when the characters actually feel real.

Like I have this one character that will just randomly burst out laughing during sex. She gets nervous and gets the giggles. It makes the scene less uncomfortable for a reader that hasn't expirenced sex, or finds sex scense awkward.

Read some great sex scenes - learn from the masters! In Atonement, McEwan handles the passion brilliantly when Robbie and Cecilia are together in the library.

And never forget the golden rule: SHOW, DON'T TELL!

Okay, I'll tell you how I feel about sex scenes. Basically, there are two rules: Importance and Explicitness.

The sex scene has to matter to the characters--and the reader. In Anna Karienna--dang, I can never spell the last one right--Anna knows that a love affair with Vronsky could cost her her husband as well as her position in society. So when sex finally happens, it is more than just sex. It's a grenade hurled in Anna's life.

How sexy is too sexy? Well, with one romance novel, it was banned from some bookstores because of the explicitness in it--women undressing in the presence of men, a lot of sex, etc., etc.--but that controversy helped the sales to propel to two million. But beware of it being pure smut. And beware of cheesy words--mention "heaving bosom" once and your scene is dead.

Hope this helps!

DW

I think if your embarassed about writing a sex scene or don't know how to go about it, try fanfiction. Yes its usually based around sex etc but if you write a couple of oneshots or whatever as practise it will get you into the way of it and hopefully erase your embarassment.

I found it was helpful to me (cause i was wary about sex/kissing scenes in my writing too) because after I worked out the mechanics of it (what things to say and what not to say) its a lot easier to add emotion etc and significance when using your characters.


But i guess i've grown up with friends completely unashamed of slash and fanfiction so that probably helps.

there not bad as long as you keep it in scene and make sure you just skim over the deep dark details if you know what i mean hit the baceline of it try not to go deeper if it dont fit